Authors Note: Slight spoilers for Zagreus. Also I own nothing. Never have probably never will (unless the price of BBC stock goes down). I am simply borrowing it for my own amusment.
Sillyness aside I would just like to thank Scout Girl. Not only does she read over all my stuff before I post it but she is able to turn my ramblings into a coherant story that is fit for other people to read. She's put up with a lot of emails from me going "do you think this would work" or "how did so and so do this" and for that I shall be forever gratefull.
Baptism of Fire
With the sound of a thousand ancient gears the TARDIS slowly solidified frightening a group of duck creatures that flew off into the sunset.
The doors opened and a young woman stepped out. "Where are we Doctor" she called back.
The Doctor joined his companion. He had just undergone a regeneration and it would be safe to say he was not the person he had been. He was now a bit shorter and was no longer so thin. His hair was darker and he had a slight Scottish accent.
The Doctor stuck his hands deep into his pockets. "Well Martha" he said "I would say we were on the planet Jaras II. This planet has one of the best restaurants in the universe. Serves very good wine". With that he strode off over the ridge.
By the time Martha caught up with him the Doctor had already reached the edge of a small city and was looking about him along the silent streets. "Odd this" he said as she came to a stop beside him "normally this place would be bustling with creatures from all over the cosmos. Now it's as quiet as a mouse"
Martha looked at him "maybe we should have a look around, see if there is anyone who can tell us what is going on" The Doctor stood looking up at the sky for a few minutes humming something Martha couldn't quite catch. Eventually she poked him in the shoulder causing him to look around
"Yes" he said "good idea. Let's go this way". He gestured to the left before wandering off humming once more.
They wandered for what felt like hours until down one side street Martha stopped to look at a particular piece of graffiti. The only piece she had seen in the entire street.
"Doctor" she called "what does this mean". He came back standing just behind her.
"What is it" he asked
"Just one word, repeated over and over" she replied "Zagreus"
The Doctor's face fell and he looked like he was about to keel over. "What did you say" he whispered "please tell me it's not what I think it was"
"There's just one word sprayed over this piece of wall again and again" she paused "What does Zagreus mean"
"It means" the Doctor said breaking into a run "that something very bad is about to happen"
The Doctor ran all the way back to the TARDIS, Martha at his side, mumbling under his breath.
"Zagreus sits inside your head
Zagreus lives among the dead
Zagreus sees you in your bed
And eats you when you're sleeping"
"Doctor" Martha gasped "what's going on, tell me please"
He ignored her reaching for the TARDIS key whispering all the while
"Zagreus at the end of days
Zagreus lies all other ways
Zagreus comes when time's a maze
And all of history's weeping"
He pushed himself through the doors immediately dashing up to the console and began to his buttons and pull leavers like his life depended on it. Martha grabbed hold of the rail expecting the TARDIS to begin shaking as it spun through the vortex on its way to a different part of time and space. But nothing happened.
Again and again he pushed and pulled at the controls in increasing panic trying to convince his precious ship to go somewhere anywhere. Eventually he sank into the captains chair and stared at the ceiling "why" he cried seemingly to the universe "why him. I faced him once. Why again, WHY".
Martha sat down next to him and pulled him into a hug "Doctor" she whispered "tell me what's going on. What is Zagreus?"
The Doctor looked at her. "Zagreus is evil" he said eventually "an embodiment of anti-time from the beginning of Gallifreyan history. He was destroyed by Rassilon just before the Eternal War against the Yssgaroth and for a long time he was nothing. A sick nursery-rhyme used to frighten young time-lords.
"How does it go?"
The Doctor was silent before speaking in a slow sing song voice.
"Zagreus sits inside your head
Zagreus lives among the dead
Zagreus sees you in your bed
And eats you when you're sleeping
Zagreus at the end of days
Zagreus lies all other ways
Zagreus comes when time's a maze
And all of history's weeping
Zagreus taking time apart.
Zagreus fears the hero heart.
Zagreus seeks the final part.
The reward that he is reaping.
Zagreus sings when all is lost
Zagreus takes all those he's crossed
Zagreus wins and all is cost
The hero's hearts he's keeping.
Zagreus seeks the hero's ship
Zagreus needs the web to rip
Zagreus sups time at a drip
And life aside, he's sweeping.
And he set then his course
To a scar on the face of Creation
Where the stars lived and died in the churn of one night
Where the mountains might move in the blink of an eye
And decay was the only true constant
And the gate of Zagreus opened before him
And all of the Antiverse was releaved to him
And its terrible beauty ached in his hearts
So through them he ventured
There to do battle with Zagreus, the Beast
Never resting as long as history is lasting
Until either or both are laid to waste.
Zagreus waits at the end of the world
For Zagreus is the end of the world
His time is the end of time
And his moment Time's undoing.
Martha looked aghast "you used to tell that to children"
The Doctor shrugged "I never said Time Lords were normal"
"But why does it scare you now. I mean all the things you've seen in the universe and you're still terrified by a nursery-rhyme".
The Doctor looked at her "a long time ago three incarnations back there was an …. accident. I was hit by a concentrated burst of anti-time and I became Zagreus. I was uncontrollable and I did things I will forever regret. Zagreus scares me. More than the Daleks, more than the Cybermen, more than the Master. The only thing I can never defeat. He's inside my head lurking just out of reach"
He got up and walked towards the door. "I'm going for a walk. I'll be back later" and before Martha could say anything he walked out into the ever darkening night.
He walked for what felt like miles a shadow dogging his every step. Eventually he found himself in some sort of park. Plopping himself down on a bench he closed his eyes and retreated into his mind,
When he opened them again he found himself outside on a cobbled street in front of an imposing stone building. Young people cycled past him and in the distance he could see people punting down a river. "Well this is new" the Doctor muttered "St Cedd's College Cambridge if memory serves"
Walking across the cobbles he hailed one of the porters "Wilkin". The old man turned "Doctor. How nice to see you again". "Is Professor Chronotis in"? "Indeed Sir. You can go straight up"
The Doctor nodded to his old friend and proceeded up to the Professor's chambers. He knocked on the door and was beckoned in. He opened the door and walked in. "Hello Zagreus" he said to the man in the corner of the room as he sat down in a chair. "How did you know it was me" the man said "Easy. I have no reason to visit Chronotis. Not since that incident with The Worshipful and Ancient Law of Gallifrey.
The figure moved away from the corner and sat in a chair opposite the Doctor. He was surprised to see that Zagreus had taken on a familiar form. That of his Eighth incarnation.
"What do you want Zagreus" the Doctor said
The creature stared at him for a long time before answering "You were never rid of me you know" it said "I was always there. Just behind your thoughts"
"I know" the Doctor said "I felt you all the time. I just never mentioned it to anyone. But that's not the point. Tell me what you want"
"I am going to destroy you Doctor the only way it can be done". The room went white and the Doctor knew no more"
When he awoke he was in the TARDIS again. However it was not the TARDIS he had left behind. There was no sign of Martha and the desktop theme had changed again. It had reverted back to the steam punk version of his Eighth incarnation.
He looked down and noticed his clothing had changed as well. Dashing over to a mirror he looked upon the face of his Eighth self. "Zagreus" he called "what have you done, when is this"
The voice came from every corner of the room "you know when this is Doctor. You don't need me to tell you"
The Doctor activated the TARDIS scanner and saw the scene that had haunted his dreams for his past two lives. Outside Dalek saucers and Battle TARDIS' were streaking across space. In the distance he could faintly see the Nightmare Child a giant event horizon that stretched as far as the eye could see. "The Gates of Elysium" he breathed.
Suddenly a Bow Ship released a bolt that stuck a prominent Dalek Saucer head on propelling it towards the Nightmare Child. From the markings The Doctor could tell that it was Davros' flagship. Setting co-ordinates The Doctor set off in pursuit
"What's the point Doctor" Zagreus crooned "you already know what is going to happen"
"That doesn't mean I'm not going to try"
Suddenly a voice came over the communications from one of the Battle TARDIS' "Doctor" he could faintly recognize the voice of Rodan "what are you doing"
The Doctor ignored her and carried on dodging ships left and right urging his beloved ship to move faster. Suddenly he was forced to avoid a collision with a crippled Battle TARDIS. By the time he got clear he could only watch as Davros flew straight into the jaws of the Nightmare Child.
"Time to move on I think" Zagreus said.
When the Doctor next opened his eyes he was on a planet in some sort of bunker. A young man came up to him. "Doctor" he said "the Daleks are just across the ridge. What should we do?"
The words leapt out of his mouth before he had a chance to think "move the south patrol across to the ridge and tell Drax to move his men up there to reinforce them. "
"Yes sir" the soldier said.
The Doctor looked out of the bunkers window. There were hardly any buildings in the vicinity giving the Doctor a clue as to where Zagreus had bought him. Arcadia.
Suddenly the Doctor could hear shouting and a bruised and bloody officer stumbled in "the Daleks have over taken the western instillation"
The Doctor looked up and saw a plume of smoke rising in the west. "Commander" he called "sound the retreat"
The Doctor rematerialized the TARDIS just above the battleground. As he watched all the instillations were simultaneously destroyed taking the Daleks with them. He slowly shook his head before turning back to the controls "Okay Zagreus" he said "where next"
Zagreus dragged the Doctor through the Time War and back again making re-live everything he had been forced to do from the loss of the Nestene Protein Planets to the incident with the Gelth, through to the battle in Van Stattens vault, the Battle of the Game Station, the Canary Wharf affaire, the incident in New York and the War in the Medusa Cascade. He was forced to relive the loss of Rose again and again and the memories of his regenerations were bought out to hurt him.
Zagreus didn't stop there pulling the Doctor through all of his worst adventures making him relive his decisions over and over and watch the misfortunes that befell some of his companions until he could barley hold back the tears.
Finally he awoke in the steam punk TARDIS again back in the body of his Eighth self. "where are we now Zagreus" he sighed
"At the time of your final humiliation" the voice replied "look at the scanner"
The Doctor looked over at the scanner and saw that the TARDIS was floating over Gallifrey Battle TARDIS' and Dalek Saucers filled the sky and down below he could see the mountain of Solace and Solitude in flames.
He turned back to the control room "Anything but this" he cried "I beg you I'll do anything you want but don't make me do this again, please". The room was silent.
He turned back to the console as a voice came over the radio "Doctor".
He ran over and pressed the button "Romana is that you"
"Yes Doctor, I need you to do it. NOW"
He blanched "I can't."
There was the sound of explosions in the background "Doctor the Daleks are on the verge of breaching the Panopticon Archives. Do it now"
There was a tinge of desperation in his voice when the Doctor spoke again "Please Romana don't make me do this. I'm begging you. There has to be another way"
"Doctor as President of the High Council of Galifrey I am ordering you to open the Eye of Harmony. We've put everything we have into defending you so don't let us down now."
The Doctor gulped back a sob "Goodbye Romana"
"Goodbye Doctor".
He pushed the button and waited. He could see it starting on the planet below. A spider's web of explosions slowly spreading across the planets surface. He could also feel it in his mind every Time Lord screaming as they rushed through regenerations like sand through a child's hands.
He focused on the mental signature that was uniquely Romana and steadied her as she reached the end. With the last of his strength as explosions rocked the TARDIS and tore apart planets, star systems and galaxies he threw his ship into the vortex. As the regeneration began he closed his eyes and waited for Zagreus to make his move.
When he came around he was back in Professor Chronotis' rooms in his current body with Zagreus seated opposite him. "So are you ready to admit it Doctor" his duplicate said.
The Doctor nodded "your right, I'm selfish. I travel the cosmos with no thought of what the repercussions of my actions might be and what the effects might be on my companions those I call friends. I have no right to do what I do" and with that he broke into tears.
Zagreus smiled and broke into a maniacal laugh "The Great and Mighty Doctor reduced to a sniveling infant. Do you see now Doctor? The greatest menace in the universe is not the Daleks or the Cybermen or even the Master. ITS YOU.
Suddenly the door was kicked open and the Doctor's ninth self burst into the room. He grabbed at the Doctor and began to drag him out into the corridor. "come on you" he growled "let's get you out of here"
Dragged back through the College the Doctor looked up at his past self "is there any particular reason why my mind is laid out like Cambridge"
Nine looked down "how the heck should I know. Your mind. Mine was like the Academy"
They entered a pub and The Doctor was surprised to find all ten past incarnations seated in a booth at the back, "Right" growled Nine "I just found this idiot trying to match wits with Zagreus". The others all groaned and Eight hit his head on the table.
"Right" said Ten "this is an intervention". The others nodded
"We can't have our reputation sullied just because you can't hold out against your own mind" Six continued only to get a sharp slap from Four.
"Now we happen to know" chipped in Five "that Zagreus has been dragging you through some fairly unpleasant memories"
"Largely one's to do with my actions during the Time War" added Eight
"But how do you know this" exclaimed the Doctor "and how do you know about Zagreus. He came after everyone except you three" he nodded to Eight, Nine and Ten.
"Its quiet simple" smiled Two. "we are you"
"and to that end we know exactly what is happening to you" continued Three
"I despaired at some of your antics" One said to Ten "much too fast and multicolored"
"So what are we going to do" queered Seven "he's in no fit state to face even a space maggot at the moment"
"How about we show him all the good times" replied Four passing round a bag of Jelly Babies. "counter what Zagreus did"
The others nodded "that could work" muttered Ten,
"Well shall I start" said One getting up and grabbing hold of his future self's hand the world once more went white.
The next few minutes (or was it hours) flashed by for the Doctor. He relived adventures he didn't remember even happening. He was slowly passed from incarnation to incarnations reliving their memories bit by bit.
He began to notice that despite all the bad events his actions had caused he also bought a lot of good.
He relieved regenerating to save Peri from Spectrox Toxemia on Androzani Minor . He once again saw Donna's support of him as he caused the eruption of Vesuvius and how happy she had been when he had rescued that family from the Volcano.
He remembered all the adventures he had had with Sara-Jane and how happy she had been to see him again. He recalled all that he had done with Romana and the times he had enjoyed with her.
And finally he saw all the things that his companions had been willing to do in his name. He saw Donna creeping through the Sontaran ship, Rose absorbing the time vortex and Martha walking the earth for a year telling people about him. He smiled, Sarah-Jane had been right. For the loneliest man in the universe he had the biggest family on Earth all willing to do what ever it would take to help him.
Eventually he found himself back in the pub surrounded by his past selves. "Thank you" he said shaking their hands in turn.
Suddenly Zagreus burst in. "NO" he cried "I will not allow this to happen"
The Doctor turned "I'm afraid you have no choice there Zagreus. You see I'm not alone any more". Behind him the other Doctors closed ranks. "You don't scare me any more Zagreus and" the Doctor smiled "what use is the boogeyman when no one is afraid of him"
Zagreus began to grow smaller and more indistinct "no" he said his voice reduced to nothing more than a whisper "this can't happen"
"I'm afraid it can" the Doctor said simply "now if you would be so kind as to get out of my mind I can get on with my life"
"NOOOOOOOOO" Zagreus cried becoming smaller and smaller until eventually he blinked out of existence.
The Doctor turned to his past selves "thank you once again" he said "now if you will excuse me Martha is probably worried and I would hate to keep her waiting. I promise to see you all soon" and as the Doctors waved to him he returned to reality.
He woke to find Martha sitting beside him. "Are you okay" she said "I was worried"
The Doctor smiled for the first time since his regeneration "I'm more than fine Martha" he said "I'm fantastic". He stood up "now come along. There are worlds out there where the sky is burning, and the sea's asleep, and the rivers dream; people made of smoke and cities made of song. Somewhere there's danger, somewhere there's injustice, somewhere else the tea's getting cold. We have work to do". He took her hand and walked back to the TARDIS. "But first can we find a restaurant. I'm famished"
With that The Doctor and his assistant set out in search of adventure safe in the knowledge that there was nothing they could not overcome.
Please Review. If you didn't like it and you don't review I may be tempted to write more.