Dear Diary
Life is like one giant rollercoaster. It has it's up moments, where you are so happy you want the feeling to go on forever. And it also has it's down moments, where you are so sad you would do anything to make everything all right again. Let's just say if I was on a rollercoaster right this minute, I would be stuck like glue at the bottom, but would be doing my best to push myself back up to the top.
I'm sitting writing this in the college common room. I'm supposed to be doing research for an English assignment set by Mrs Kingston that's due in a week, but I'm finding it difficult to concentrate. Everytime someone walks past me, they either glare at me, their eyes as cold as ice. Or they just ignore me, which is nothing new to be honest. I'm used to it.
Ruby, Sinead, Bart, George and Tilly are sitting opposite me on the best dark blue sofas they managed to hog for themselves. Tilly just smiled at me and George nodded in my direction when he saw I was staring. But Ruby, Sinead and Bart. They just looked at me like I was something they found on the bottom of their shoe and then they went back to their conversation, as if they never saw me in the first place.
So many things have changed in my life ever since I moved to Hollyoaks. I gained a family, my gran Frankie, Jack, Darren, Nancy, Tom, Charlie and little baby Oscar. I also found myself friends, Sinead, Jonno, Neil, Bart, George, Tilly, Maddie and Ruby, who was my best friend. I thought they were all OK at first. But when it came to Maddie, Ruby and Sinead, you should never judge a book by it's cover.
To the outside world, those three girls were like the queens of the whole college. Though Maddie was the queen bee. They were popular, had nice hair and clothes and everyone hung on their every word. But behind their apparent 'good girl' acts, I knew what they were really like. They were the witches of the college who only showed their true colours to me.
It was Maddie who started it all, ever since that time I tried to kiss her. I regretted it as soon as I leaned in towards her but she made out it was all fine. That was the day I learned to never, ever trust a word Maddie Morrison says. She may have looked sincere to you, but trust me, she was anything but.
Her torment started off slowly at first. She spread rumours around that I had a moustache and she destroyed my campaign posters when I was running against her to be a student mentor. I really thought I could handle it. Little did I know her torment was going to become much bigger and much, much worse.
When Jack had a heart attack and Maddie goaded me about it, fury got the better of me and I punched her, right in her smug face. I couldn't believe I did that. Me, Esther Bloom. Sticking up for myself in front of the most popular girl in the entire college. I thought Ruby and Sinead would be on my side after what Maddie said to me. But, Maddie drew them both into her sick mind games and I knew they were trapped under her evil spell.
From that moment on, those three made my life a misery, even though I was determined not to let it get me down. They would always laugh and whisper whenever I walked past them down the corridor or they would just ignore me completely.
I felt betrayed by them, especially by Ruby who said she was my best friend. But, it turns out even your best friends who vowed to stick by you can be lured away by temptations you can no longer offer them.
Just when I thought I couldn't bear their pranks and cold hearted stares any longer, something happened to change the lives of the residents of Hollyoaks forever.
It was in November at Ste and Doug's and Cindy and Tony's double wedding. Maddie had stolen a mini bus and was taking Ruby, Jonno, Neil, George and Sinead to Gretna Green so Ruby and Jonno could get married. On the way, they realised they had Ste and Doug's and Tony and Cindy's wedding cake in the back of the bus so they decided to make a detour. A detour that was going to be the biggest mistake any of them had made.
Bart and I were in the car chasing after them to try and stop Ruby and Jonno getting to Gretna Green. Bart kept on driving erratically, almost scraping against the mini bus at times. Maddie shouted down at me to get Bart to stop, but he wouldn't no matter how hard I tried to stop him.
Maddie drove on ahead, almost knocking over Ste's daughter, Leah, in the process and then running over Ste himself. We could only watch as the mini bushed crashed into the marque, causing death and destruction in it's wake.
I wanted to rush over and help them, but Bart held me back, insisting we had to go so we wouldn't get in trouble with the police. I said to him that his girlfriend and best friends were in the bus and they could be hurt. But he still wanted to leg it to save his own skin. I hope he regrets his actions for the rest of his life.
We later found out Rhys, Maddie, Neil and later Jonno, had perished in the crash. I couldn't help feeling a little bit happy that she had died, after all the hurt and pain she had caused me. But I also felt guilty, as I could of tried to stop it all happening. And I didn't.
At Maddie, Jonno and Neil's memorial a few weeks later, everyone was saying what a nice girl Maddie was and how she was a loyal friend to everyone she met. I was the only one who knew the real Maddie. I had to say something. I had to. To make everyone see what 'friendly and kind' Maddie was really like. No one believed me, of course. Not even Frankie or Jack. Maddie had died and her true colours were buried with her in her grave. And I was left to deal with the consequences she had left behind.
A part of me believed that now Maddie had gone, the bullying would stop. Without the queen bee ruling over her subjects, I thought there would be no reason for Ruby and Sinead to continue their cruel torment.
I was wrong. The bullying started again in full-force. This time, it was even worse. And it is still going on, even now.
Bart, Sinead and Ruby have just walked past me, smirks playing upon each of their lips. Ruby just whispered something to Sinead and she pretended to trip into me as she walked, making me jump and causing my pen to score a faint line across the page. Sinead said "sorry, Esther" in a sarcastic tone and then they all walked away, laughing and saying how pathetic I was.
Even though all the bullying I have gone through has chipped away at my confidence, there is still a small part of me that is determined to fight back. A part that is trying to push myself back to the top and stay there. A part that is not going to let Ruby and Sinead walk all over me anymore. That is a promise.
This is the diary of Esther Bloom. And this is the day things are going to change...for the better.
This is my first Hollyoaks fanfic. I hope it's OK as I'm usually used to only writing Doctor Who fanfics :)
Amy x