"It's About Time!"

Karl's Version

A Screenplay By Brandie Delanie

KARL, NARRATING:

Well, you know "It's About Time!" with dinosaur chases and Doofenshmirtz replacing Agent P with a stupid panda. But here's how it was for me. I was always a Titanic lover. The movie and the actual ship, I'll have you know. I wanted to know why something like that could happen, when…

ZAP!

KARL:

What the--?!

KARL, NARRATING:

I went rushing to see what just happened, and when I saw it, I didn't know whether to laugh or to go and beat the tar out of Doofenshmirtz.

KARL sees MONOGRAM frozen solid

KARL stifles a laugh

KARL, NARRATING:

Monogram was frozen solid, it was just so funny. But then, I realized that Agent P would be coming any second. So I stepped to the side and waited until…

PERRY enters

PERRY sees MONOGRAM frozen solid

PERRY waves his arms about to try to gets MONOGRAM's attention

KARL:

Um…Agent P…Hey, it's me. Karl…the intern. We've got a bit of a situation here. Major Monogram has been frozen like this pretty much all day. Solid as a rock.

KARL accidentally knocks MONOGRAM over

KARL:

Oops. Sorry. Any-who, if the Major were able to--Well, I'm sure he'd say "ouch" first, am I right?

KARL stifles a laugh

KARL:

Seriously, though. I'm sure he'd say "Doofenshmirtz was up to something and you should get to the bottom of it." Good luck, Agent P.

PERRY exits

KARL, NARRATING:

Well, from there, I didn't have much of a choice but to wait. I had just gotten comfortable with my Titanic book when Agent D and Agent Kitty got in a fight. Apparently having another one of those "cats-hate-dogs-and-vice-versa" spells.

KARL:

All right, there, break it up, guys! Break it up!

AGENT D bites KARL on the butt

KARL:

OW! HEYYYY! NO FAIR!

KARL gets pulled into the fight

Several minutes later…

KARL had done a "Dr. Phil" and gotten AGENT D and AGENT KITTY to stop fighting

But, on the down side, KARL had had a tough time breaking up the fighting long enough to get them to work things out. So now he's pretty worn out.

KARL:

(pant) (pant) Whew! I'm glad I got that worked out. (pant)

KARL collapses on the floor, tired

KARL:

How's that for a day's wor--zzzzzzzz…

KARL, NARRATING:

It was only a few minutes later that I woke up with a start. Agent P was back. My first thought was, "How long was I asleep?" But when I went to see Agent P, I nearly cried. He just looked so sad. I felt a burning anger at Doofenshmirtz. What had he done to make Agent P so sad? After several minutes, Agent P took one look at me before bursting into sobs. For a second, I wanted to kill Doofenshmirtz. I hesitated before asking:

KARL:

What's wrong, Agent P?

KARL, NARRATING:

I didn't really expect much of an answer, because…well, Agent P can't talk. But what really surprised me was that he actually wrote it down.

THE PAPER THAT PERRY WROTE ON:

Doofenshmirtz replaced me with a panda. Peter the Panda.

KARL:

Why that dirty, lousy, stinking son of a--

PERRY:

Ahem…

KARL:

Uh…heh, heh. Sorry.

KARL, NARRATING:

I almost swore there. Good thing Agent P caught me in mid-sentence.

KARL:

Agent P, you hated Doofenshmirtz. But now you're upset that he replaced you? This doesn't make any sense…

PERRY:

I know. I don't know why I'm so upset. He hated me too, so why am I so upset?

KARL:

Hey, maybe you and Doofenshmirtz should go on that parody of Dr. Phil, Dr. Feelbetter. Stupid name, stupid host, funny problems. Like in one episode, there was this boyfriend and girlfriend that didn't agree with each other, so Dr. Feelbetter had them throw stuff at each other. That episode was called "The Throw-Things-At-Each-Other Day"!

KARL tries not to laugh

He can't hold it back much longer so he finishes off with…

KARL:

So, Agent P, you go and get Doofenshmirtz back!

PERRY:

You're absolutely right!

PERRY leaves, then KARL bursts into laughter

KARL:

It was like, so funny when the girlfriend threw the duck at the boyfriend. But I don't think the duck thought so! (hahahahahahahahaha)

KARL, NARRATING:

For a while, nothing much happened. I just got some antiseptic on those cat scratches and then I decided to watch Dr. Feelbetter. You saw the episode, you know what happened. I nearly cried when Agent P decided to forgive Doofenshmirtz. It was just so emotional. But when I found out that it was a trap, I nearly hit myself. Stupid me. I had everything happen the way Doofenshmirtz wanted it to happen. I couldn't watch, because I thought the worst was about to happen. But when I heard fighting sounds coming from the TV, I felt that Agent P was fighting with Doofenshmirtz again. I was half right. It wasn't just Doofenshmirtz. All the other agents and evil scientists were fighting too. Soon, everything was back to normal. Almost everything…

KARL:

Too bad Major Monogram was frozen. He missed all the fun.

MONOGRAM:

What did I miss?

KARL:

EVERYTHING! Agent P got replaced, then he went on Dr. Feelbetter, then Agent P and Doofenshmirtz started fighting again, and…and…and…

MONOGRAM:

Remind me never to give you coffee.

KARL:

Huh?

KARL, NARRATING:

And all was right with the world again. The end.

A/N: Yeah, I know. Crappy. But I was bored. The ending was a little corny, but I couldn't come up with anything else. So…(hides behind bulletproof screen) Don't hurt meeee!