I only own the idea to this story :)

Sorry if my english isn´t perfect, but it´s not my native language and I tried my best :)

So now I say enjoy the story and don´t forget to review :)

I´m sitting in front of my mirror to put some make-up on. Today, I want to look beautiful for a man who never thought I was anything like that. But not today. I´m hoping that he would find me and regret all the things he said. He would sit down next to my bed and hold my hand, whispering that I am everything he ever wanted, put a kiss on my forehead and say that he loves me. But is that true? Is it true that he loves me? There are moments when I think it could be possible, like when we´re dancing together or the way he takes care of me when something is wrong with me. But there are also moments when I think it´s so impossible like when he says that I look like a man or something like that, I act like I would´t care but it´s breaking me inside. And it nearly kills me that I don´t

know the answer if he loves me. The only thing I know is that I am in love with him. That I want to fall asleep and wake up next to him, that I want to spend every minute of the day with him and that I want to help him in the kitchen. And that´s the problem. A Babcock woman fell in love with a butler.

I choose my red lipstick, my dark-grey-eyeshadow, mascara and a little bit rosé- red rouge, that I won´t look so pale. I think that it would look better if my hair is opened and so I´m only using my hairbrush. I put on my black Dolce&Gabbana dress, which stops over my knees and shows my curves perfectly. Then I´m using my parfum that I usually use, Channel no.5. I´m slipping into my black pumps and walk to the big mirror in my bedroom. I´m looking like I would go to a funeral, but isn´t it something like that?

I think I should write a letter to say goodbye. So I´m taking a piece of paper and a pen and start to write:

Dear Niles,

I want you to know that I never felt something like love until I walked in to the Sheffield residence. I know that you think I mean Maxwell but the truth is that I fell in love with you. Since the first time you took my jacket, I feel it every day. It hurts me to see you every day and I can´t do anything and can´t say how much I need you. And so I decided to end it. To end the pain and the loneliness.

When you read this I would be glad if you could say Maxwell that I enjoyed to work with him. I think that Chester would like to live near to Nanny Fine.

Even tough it hurts, I know when it´s time to go and now the time has come.

Goodbye

Your loving CaCa

I feel the tears running down my cheeks and one dripped down on the paper. I know that I can´t stay longer and so I walk into the kitchen, take out a glass and fill it with the best scotch I have. Next I take the letter and the full glass and walk back into my bedroom and put them down on the small table beside my bed. I´m opening one of the small drawers and grab a little box of sleeping pills. There aren´t much in it, but enough to send me to a better place.

My eyes are slowly looking through the room, as I suddenly see a photo, of me and the Sheffield Family, lying on the floor. I take it and realize that I´m the only one who´s not smiling. I lay it down beside me and put the pills in my hand. I´ve never been so frightened in my entire life. I lay down, put the pills in my mouth and throw them down with the scotch. Suddenly I hear Niles voice:"Miss Babcock? Miss Babcock are you in there? I came here because the whole family is really worried about you since you didn´t come to work today."

Why does he care? He ever wished that I am dead and now his dream is going to come true. My eyelids become heavier and I can´t hold my eyes open any longer.

„Miss Babcock if you don´t answer I have to come in!"

I try to shout that he should stay outside, but only a whisper is coming out of my mouth. I´m hearing the key in the door and seconds later Niles is standing in my bedroom.

„CC?! Why?! Why did you do this?"

I can´t see his face but I can hear that he´s crying. I feel how he slowly grabs my hand and sits down next to me.

„CC, please! You can´t left me! Not now, before I say the truth to you! CC please be awake! I´m so sorry for the things I said and did to you. I always saw you as a good friend, maybe the best I ever had. But now I´m here to say that I love you CC. I love you more than anything on this world. Please don´t leave me! I love you!"

A small tear is running down my cheek and I take all the power I have left and whisper:"I love you too Niles. And now kiss me goodbye"

„You´re the most beautiful woman on this earth. Will you wait for me infront of the door to hell?"

A small chuckle comes out of his mouth and if I could I would too.

„Yes"

I´m feeling his soft lips on mine and slowly I`m drifting away...