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Chapter 1

James

"It's not looking good, Prongs." Sirius passes me the paper and I hesitantly scan the headlines. He's right, more and more are dying each week, Muggles mainly. Hatred boils in my throat, for the Deatheaters and their seemingly endless reign of terror, the innocent Muggles that they kill for the fun of it, and our hopeless situation. With school over for good, we should be celebrating, but no one is. It wouldn't seem right, not with everything that's going on.

"What do we do?"

"Nothing we can do." Sirius barely glances at me, returning to his cereal. I know that he's right, even the ministry are struggling to control the army of Deatheaters. I'm afraid. I shouldn't be, I'm not a Muggle-born, not even half-blood; no one will touch me. Yes, I have nothing to worry about…

"You know, they're starting to fear his name," He grins at me "They won't say it. Read the papers, the only ever refer to him as 'You Know Who' or something." I check, scanning through the main story. "You Know Who's deadly forces are becoming stronger every day, leaving a trail of destruction and murder in their wake. The Minister of Magic recently declared that he will soon defeat the so called 'Dark Lord' and end this war before too many lives are claimed…"

"What are they afraid of? It's a name, nothing more." I sigh. Yes, but it's the name of perhaps the most powerful, evil wizard that's ever lived. Maybe the name is cursed.

"Vol-de-mort," I try the name out, tasting how it feels on my tongue, "Voldemort." Bitter. Bitter and sour.

"You would do well to watch your mouth, young man!" Mum hits me over the head with the Daily Prophet, now folded up. I complain loudly and she turns away. I know that she too, is afraid of the name, maybe she has reason to. Running my fingers through my always scruffy hair, I sigh. We're just kids, playing a game that will be one step ahead the whole time.

"No point James, you've been trying that for years. It's still as messy as it has always has been." I force a laugh, realising that I've been too hung up on matters that don't really concern me. My NEWT results were impressive, certainly better than Sirius'. We're yet to hear from the others, but we have all the time in the world to talk. We are young, and life stretches out in front of us, full of possibilities and seemingly endless.

The girl of my dreams is mine, forever. Not that I'm holding her prisoner, but I can no longer see a future without her. Lilly. I haven't told anyone, but her, that I love her. I have done since the day I met her, and I always will. It was never just a crush, not with Lilly, it was never going to be that simple. She is beautiful, truly beautiful. Flame red hair, eyes that shine like emeralds, and her smile. She is so beautiful when she smiles, her whole face just lights up. I like it when she smiles at me, when she's happy to see me. Sometimes I live for those smiles, those laughs…

"You're thinking about Lilly again, aren't you?" Sirius smirks , and I look away. He can practically read my mind sometimes, it's a little disconcerting.

"So what if I am? None of the rest of you are even close to having a girlfriend."

"Yeah, well Wormtail's a tad dim, Mooney has far more important things to worry about, and I-"

"And you just seem to repel girls." He raises an eyebrow, his feet rested on the table in front of him as though he were at home. Of course, my house has been Sirius' home for years, and my parents have practically accepted him as one of the family, which seems about right, seeing as he's been like a brother for almost my entire Hogwarts life. I know that he views me in the same way, the brother that he wishes Regulus could be. He doesn't talk about him much, but we all know where Regulus' loyalties lie.

When Mum comes back in, she drops the paper on the table, obviously angry. She's always angry, or upset, these days. I flip through the paper, hoping for something trivial to fill my mind with. But it is a stupid wish, because all the journalists are melodramatic idiots. All the same, my stomach tightens as my eyes catch one particular article: YOU KNOW WHO: HUNTING FOR WEREWOLVES? The Ministry begins its search for werewolves, after receiving information that You Know Who is recruiting them in their masses. The Minister of Magic urges the public to bring forward any knowledge about the whereabouts of any of the beasts, as they may already be under the influence of dark and dangerous wizards. However, he also assures the country that he will protect citizens from these animals that masquerade as humans as they slowly join You Know Who's troops. Rita Skeeter. She's beginning to make a name for herself in the world of journalism, for all the wrong reasons. I already hate her.

I set the paper on fire in my anger and gain a questioning look from Sirius, but I'm beyond caring. I should have got used to the constant torrent of abuse aimed at werewolves, but I haven't. Sometimes I think that I care more than Remus, maybe we all do, which doesn't make sense. The paper smoulders fiercely as it disintegrates, leaving a black burn of the table. My stomach has screwed up into a tight ball of frustration and it won't relax.

"You alright, mate?"

"Fine," I snap, feeling slightly guilty despite knowing how difficult it is to insult Sirius.

"I read it too. There's nothing that we can do about it, just ignore it, that's what Mooney does. Well I guess he has to, or he'd probably go mental…"

Sighing, I rest my head in my hands. My heartbeat is slowing, the claws of fear releasing their grip on my stomach. I've been worrying too much recently, about things that won't amount to anything or don't affect me, it's not healthy. And I keep thinking about what Goyle said last time we saw him: "Good luck Evans, you're gonna need it!" A foul boy that will never achieve anything in his life due to a distinct lack of brains, and yet, I can't help thinking that there was some truth in his words, maybe Lilly does need to be careful… They're targeting Muggles; it doesn't take much logic to work out who will be next.

Poor Lilly.

And yet, despite all of my worries, school is over, it's time for me to make my place in the world. No more homework, or detentions, or Professor Binns… I can be my own boss, make money and move out of my parent's house; it's going to be brilliant! I'm sure that, after a few months, they'll put an end to Volde- You Know Who and his Deatheaters, and then I can stop worrying, because, if I think logically, I have no reason to worry about one evil wizard.

My days at Hogwarts are over, but the rest of my life is just beginning. It won't be easy, these are difficult times to grow up in, to make my mark. There was something comforting about the corridors of Hogwarts, it was where I learnt who I was. I think that sometimes I hid behind the mask that we made for ourselves, letting others think that there was nothing more to me than a joker, a prankster, a quidditch player, the vain, dark haired one that chased Lilly Evans. I'm not proud of everything that I did at school, and there were times when I should have worked harder, but I wouldn't change it for the world.

There's a knock on the door and I hurry to answer it, certain that it is Lilly. My heart skips a beat when I see a flash of her red hair.

Sirius

Lilly and Prongs talk for what seems like hours, her constant giggling grating on my nerves. I realise with a jolt that there is simply nothing left for me to do. No homework to ignore, no Snivelus to ridicule, no pranks just waiting to be pulled. I've left school with just a handful of grades to show for it. Never mind, I'm sure that I'll think of something to fill the days with before I drop down dead one autumn afternoon.

James is worried about Voldemort, no matter how hard he's trying to ignore it. I mean, it's bothering me a little, but it's nothing really to do with us. It's not that I don't care about the people dying, it's a shame and everything, but there's no point getting hung up about it.

But James is worried about Lilly. Muggleborns like her will be next, I'm certain. He probably hasn't even realised himself that she is the reason for his anxiety, I often know what's going on inside his head before he does. I think that he loves her. He truly loves her, and he will until she breaks his heart. Which she will, eventually. She'll leave him for Snivelus and the rest of us will have to pick up the pieces of his broken heart. He's happy now though, despite nearly having a mental breakdown earlier, and I'm not going to get too worked up about it. After all, there's no way that Lilly Evans would join the Deatheaters, even if it meant being with her beloved Snivelus. Yes, I'm certain that now he's left school, he'll have run to Voldemort at the first chance he got. Just like my darling cousin Bella and my broth- Yes, just like my cousin.

I politely decline another plate on sandwiches from Mrs Potter- I've already eaten two dozen. I would like to get out of here as soon as possible- I've lived with the Potters for long enough- but I've got no where to go. I am suddenly struck down with the idea that I'll still be living here longer than James, but that's probably a ridiculous and stupid notion.

Excusing myself, I go outside, desperate to light up. I breathe in deeply, sighing as my desire for the taste of nicitine is satisfied. Damn Muggles. Why do they have to make these things so addictive? I started to get on my family's nerves, and now I can't stop. Even worse, I seem to be spending half my life enduring lectures from Evans, seeing as she knows so much about Muggles. Damn her.

It's a hot, dry day and I soon long for the cool of indoors, but I stay in the sun a little longer. There is nothing I fear more than being caged up somewhere, my freedom taken and hidden from me forever. Sometimes I think of the strangest things. All the same, I'd rather enjoy the outdoors for a little longer, it somehow creates the illusion that, with school over, I'll be free forever and ever. This is not true of course, I'm not free, not even now. I'm trapped by my pure blood family of wannabee Deatheaters, the past that I can't escape from, my need to work and earn money somehow is steadily locking me away, forcing me to become someone that I'm not and my loyalty to dangerous friends could be the end of me. But it's just everyone else that views people like him as dangerous, uncontrollable beasts. I think that he's probably the most genuinely kind person that I've ever known, but that won't convince the Ministry.

I have to get away. Away from James and his perfect family and perfect girlfriend, his perfect future lying ahead of him. Without thinking, I find myself running away on four legs, because this is the only way that I ever feel free.

Peter

My bedroom ceiling is grey and dull, cracked from years of unnoticed disrepair. I could probably fix it with magic, but I sort of like it this way, it's always been old and weirdly comforting. I feel the weight of endless weeks pressing down on me like they do in the summer holidays, except this time there's no school to go back to. Ever. My NEWT marks were relatively mediocre and I dread the moment when I find out the wonderful, magnificent results that my friends will surely have achieved.

Not that I have a problem with that. I'm used to being overshadowed and I'm happy to be, I can't change who I am. But I was lucky to make such great friends; I'd never felt so carefree, as if the whole world was on my side. It's over now though, they'll all go their separate ways and I'll be left in my Mum's house for the rest of my life. Some people are born for greatness, some are born to simply be their friends.

I'm still not sure how I ended up as one of the four "Marauders." James and Sirius were easily the most popular boys in the school; they're smart, funny and confident, so why wouldn't they be? And now they'll go on to have successful jobs, which is cool, I'm not the jealous type, and life will be good for them.

Mum calls me down to lunch, but I ignore her. I'm not really hungry, anyway. I think that I'll go to the Potter's later, it's been two weeks since we saw each other and I miss their company. I always liked being with people that laugh and joke, it makes a welcome change to the solemn atmosphere that occupies my own home. My Mum's barely smiled since Dad left, and I've always dreaded the summer holidays when it's just the two of us.

I'll move out as soon as I can, I don't care where, but anything's better than here. Hogwarts was my home, and now it's gone. I've never been overly ambitious, which I think disappoints Mum, I'm happy to stay the way I am, I shouldn't have to become someone that I'm not. But she wants great things for her only child, which is stupid because I've never done anything of any greatness in my life. God knows what made the sorting hat put me in Gryfindor, maybe it knew something that I don't.

Remus

Frustration writhes inside me and it's all I can do to not shout out. Five NEWTS, practically top marks. Wonderful, fantastic, I'm a frickin' genius. Not that it matters, of course it doesn't. I fooled myself into thinking that I could do anything if I got the right grades, which I did. If I was anyone else then people would be telling me that the sky's the limit. But I'm me, so "the ground's the limit" seems more appropriate. I don't know why I even bothered going to Hogwarts in the first place; I don't know why Dumbledore let me. It would have been kinder not to.

And what have I achieved? Seven years of teachers telling me to learn and revise and take exams so that I can get the job that I want. I want to be an Auror. Fat chance. The ministry won't even let people like me into the building, let alone consider me for any sort of job. My whole life from now on will be disappointments and failures. Thanks Greyback, you bastard, you've ruined my life. Now anyone that knows the truth looks at me with an expression of either fear or disgust, I'm not sure which is worse.

It wasn't all bad. Of course, not everyone is as judgemental as the masses, and I couldn't have asked for better friends throughout my Hogwarts life. But Hogwarts is over, and there's no Dumbledore to protect me and watch my back, I'm alone to the cruelties of the world. And anyone that finds out will think that I'm siding with the Deatheaters and turn me in, and then not even my old headmaster could save me from the Wizengamot court. Even if I told them that I wouldn't join the Deatheaters if my life depended on it, they wouldn't listen. People like them never listen to people like me.

It's one of the sunniest days so far this year, but it's dark in the dense woodland. It reminds me of the forbidden forest out here, the shadows and silence. Out here, I begin to calm down. But not completely. The anger never goes away, no matter how I try to distract myself. The words in the article that I read this morning keep flooding back to me: "The Minister of Magic urges the public to bring forward any knowledge about the whereabouts of any of the beasts… animals that masquerade as humans… they may fool you into thinking that they are just like you and me, but this is a lie…" Stop it Remus. She doesn't know what she's talking about. Bitch. There's always someone out there trying to ruin my life in any way they can. It's only going to get worse.

There were times, when I was with James and Sirius and Peter, that I felt like I belonged, like I wasn't constantly being weighed down by the truth of my identity. I wonder what would happen if I simply drifted away into the wild like others of my kind. Would I become like the newspapers say I am, a wild, uncontrollable animal? Probably. But I won't give Skeeter the satisfaction of being right. After all, she's more of an animal than I'll ever be; at least, that's what James would say.

Werewolf. That's what I am, it's what I always will be, and there's nothing I can do about it. I haven't yet succumbed to the animal desires that others inherit, and I don't intend to. It doesn't change anything though, few can look past what I am, and there are times when even I can't. I don't let it show though; I've spent years hiding my anger and frustration so that even my friends can't see. Though sometimes I think Sirius sees through my disguise, it wouldn't surprise me. He's practically a mind reader. Well, they say that dogs do have an acute sense for the emotions of others.

I smile despite myself. I'll go see James and Sirius, forget who I am for a few hours. Forget Rita Skeeter and Deatheaters and the Ministry and NEWTS and- Stop it Remus. I turn on the spot and disapperate.

Sirius

I'm sleeping in the shade when I feel a hand stroking my back. My eyes open wearily. Remus, of course. I yawn and change back into human form.

"Mooney, it's good to see you. Are we talking about NEWTs or…?"

"No. I don't want to talk about NEWTs. Ever." So he got full marks. Of course he'd be angry. All that work, essentially for nothing. It's such a shame; he's clever and could do something great with his life. I guess it's just bad luck.

"Prongs and Evans are upstairs snogging. They should be done soon. Would you like a drink?" He shakes his head. Still angry then. Angry at the world.

"So what's your problem with Lilly?" His question surprises me; I often forget that he's nearly as good at reading emotions as I am.

"It's obvious, isn't it?"

"No, Padfoot. Most of what goes on in your head is often obscure and incomprehensible. So what is your problem with Lilly?" But I never get to answer, because James leads her by her hand into the kitchen, smiling like some love sick idiot. I role my eyes and turn away.

"Alright Sirius?" She says, "How were your NEWTs?" I turn around, grinning.

"Full marks, of course. How about you?" She smiles that infuriating "I'm the best and I know it" smile.

"Same." I'm not sure whether she's telling the truth. She's about to leave, but I decide that I haven't had anything to do all day, and this is my chance.

"What about Severus? How did he do?" I cheer inside as her whole body stiffens. She doesn't even turn my way when she tells me that they haven't spoken in years. Liar.

"Well it's going to be difficult to resolve your, erm, differences now, isn't it?" James and Remus are glaring at me, and I know that I should stop now and walk away with all four limbs attached, but I'm having too much fun.

"What do you mean, Black?" She swivels round, staring straight at me, unafraid.

"Well he's run straight to You Know Who. He's always wanted to." Lilly looks pleadingly at James and I can tell that he's torn between who to side with. "Him and his little freak friends. Wierdo." I say the last word under my breath, just loud enough for her to hear.

"You're a child, Black. Nothing but a petty, pathetic child." And with that she leaves, Prongs tries to stop her, but she shoves him away. I'm celebrating on the inside.

As soon as she's gone, James punches me hard in the face.