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We're driving slow through the snow
On Fifth Avenue
And right now radio's
All that we can hear

I sat on the front steps, just thinking. It was something I did a lot when Shannon was away. He had been gone for a month and he wasn't sure when he was getting home. I was thinking about whether I would be home when he got back. After 3 year, Shannon and I had only been able to be with each other for 2. I was getting tired of waiting for him. The nights he promised to be home, he never was. I don't didn't think he was cheating or anything but it still hurt when he walked in at 8:30 in the morning.

Man we ain't talked since we left
It's so overdue
It's cold outside
But between us it's worse in here

Tears rolled down my cheek as I thought about my options. I could leave Shannon and spear myself the heartache or I could stay and try to work things out. The two thoughts raced back and forth in my mind. Tears came faster. My head began to hurt. I put my head in my hands as I knew what I had to do but could I hurt Shannon like that? Would I be able to walk away?

The world slows down but my heart beats fast right now
I know this is the part where the end starts

I pulled myself together and went back inside. I ran around the house Shannon and I shared. I did any little thing to keep myself busy. I was washing dishes when I heard the phone ring.
"Hello"
"Hey Baby! Its me. I'm coming home tonight. I should be there later tonight."
"Do you plan on getting here tonight or tomorrow morning?' I asked in a bitter tone.
"What?!"
"Nothing, see you when you get her Babe. Bye," I hung up the phone and prepared for the hardest thing I've ever had to in my life. I had to break up with Shannon.

I can't take it any longer
Thought that we were stronger
All we do is linger
Slipping through my fingers
I don't want to try now
All that's lefts goodbye to
Find a way that I can tell you

I paced in front of the front door. Why was I so mean to Shannon on the phone? I thought as I walked. Did I really want this? Was this something I wanted for a while? It scaredme to think that I wanted to end my seemingly wonderful relationship so quickly. I was so involved with my thoughts that I hadn't heard Shannon walk in. I ran into his chest and looked up at him slowly. His eyes were the darkest green I had ever seen. I knew this was going to be harder than I thought.

I hate this part right here
I hate this part right here
I just can't take your tears
I hate this part right here

The look on Shannon's face can't be described in words. I had to look away from him. I backed up a couple of steps and smoothed out my shirt. "Shannon, we need to talk," my voice was shaking like crazy even though I fought to keep it steady. Shannon opened his mouth but decided not to speak. He grabbed my hand and pulled me over to the couch.

"Is there something wrong, something I should know about?" Shannon asked looking me in the eye.

"Yes," tears came rushing back as I started to talk.

Everyday seven takes of the same old scene
Seems we're bound by the laws of the same routine
Gotta talk to you now 'fore we go to sleep
But will we sleep once I tell you it's hurting me

Shannon wiped my eyes as tears slid down my face. I pressed my cheek to his hand until I realized what I was doing. I snapped away and jumped off of the couch.

"Shannon, this isn't working!" I quickly covered my mouth after the comment

Shannon's face went white before his head dropped into his hands. He looked back up at me, "What are you saying? Where did all this come from?"

The world slows down but my heart beats fast right now
I know this is the part where the end starts

My heart pounded in my chest. My mouth went dry as I struggled to come up with the word. Shannon's head was back in his hands as he shook his head, " After I've busted my butt for a month to make a living and to be able to take care of you, of us, you welcome me home like this?!" Shannon stood up and started walking over to me.

I can't take it any longer
Thought that we were stronger
All we do is linger
Slipping through my fingers
I don't want to try now
All that's lefts goodbye to
Find a way that I can tell you

"What?" I screamed, "Shannon, open your eyes. Listen to what you just said! You've been gone for a whole month! A month! I'm tired of having to wait for you. I know wrestling is your dream and I don't want to take that away from you, but I can't stay if you're not here to love me!" I took a deep breath and walked over to him. "Shannon, Baby, you know I love you and I know you love me but it's hard when you're not here to show me that," I was speaking softer as I walked close to him.

I hate this part right here
I hate this part right here
I just can't take your tears
I hate this part right here

It hit him at once. His shoulders slouched and he fell back onto the couch. "Baby, I'm sorry….." Then it happened. For the first time in 3 years, I saw Shannon cry. I couldn't hear it but I saw his shoulders bounce up and down. Tears splashed off his jeans and his face was red. I stood there in shock as my rock, my foundation, for 3 years cracked and started to crumble.

I know you'll ask me to hold on
And carry on like nothings wrong
But there is no more time for lies
Cause I see sunset in your eyes

After a while, Shannon wiped his face and looked back up at me. His eyes were back to they're soft green but they were also red. I hadn't known I was crying until he got up and walked over to me. "If it hurt you that much, why didn't you tell me? I could have got more local bookings. We could have worked this out. Baby, please don't do this please…"

I can't take it any longer
Thought that we were stronger
All we do is linger
Slipping through my fingers
I don't want to try now
All that's lefts goodbye to
Find a way that I can tell you

I didn't know what to say. It was my fault I hadn't brought this up earlier. Now I probably messed up what could have been saved. I cried harder. What have I done? I thought as Shannon brought me into his arms.

But I gotta do it
I gotta do it
I gotta do it
I hate this part
I gotta do it

I gotta do it

I gotta do it

"Now I have to do this," I said. I don't know if I was telling him or me. "I don't want to but now I have to Shan, I gotta!"

Shannon grabbed my face and brought my eyes up to his. He stared into them for a while before he spoke, " I really don't want you to leave. I need you here, with me. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. I can get better about being home more or you can come with me. Just stay Baby, please." He put his forehead to mine. I calmed down enough to think straight.

"Okay, then I'm gonna stay," I said softly before he kissed me.

I hate this part right here
I hate this part right here
I just can't take these tears
I hate this part right here

I did hate that part. I hate that I cause Shannon and myself pain. I hate that I even thought about leaving, but as they say, it's always darkest before the dawn.