Disclaimer: I don't own the song, or the characters. Don't sue me.
A/N: I really am a country girl at heart. I listened to this song the first time with tears in my eyes and when I saw Lost & Found, I couldn't help using it for Jen. It just seemed to suit her, and the little crooked grin that we all know is Jethro. This is another song fic in a line of them, it seems, but I'll hope to be forgiven and you'll read it anyway. I seem to be writing more angst than I'm used to at present, but I'm hoping I will return to fluff soon. As it is, I just hope you'll read and like it. I have one favour to ask as you read this fic - listen to the song at the same time. It makes so much more sense to listen to the lyrics as well as reading them. Please please please review, I love hearing from everyone and all opinions are welcome. Thanks to Verity who betad this for me, you are amazing!
This fic is dedicated to Aly (A'serene) because she is an amazing writer and I want her to know I appreciate all the hard work she puts in, plus she asked for another fic, though I don't think this qualifies as fluff. You are amazing! Thank you so much!
Summary: "Without him I don't know what I'd do. He gets that from you." Jibbs family and character death.
He Gets That From Me
Sung by Reba McEntire
A Jen/Jethro Family Fic
His early mornin' attitude
You have to drag him out of bed
Only frosted flakes will do
He gets that from me
Yeah, he gets that from me
Leaning over the newspaper, the Director of NCIS was not surprised to hear her son tumble through the kitchen doorway, no doubt rubbing his hand across his beautifully blue eyes and his striking red hair sticking up every which way. She spared herself a slight smile as she looked up and watched her son manouver around the kitchen with his eyes half-closed, sleep clinging to him in a way she recognised. When she had been younger, she'd been the same. Never liked getting up early under any circumstances, and her son was exactly the same. Unfortunately, her job did not care what their preference to mornings were, so up they got. Didn't mean they had to like it.
Jenny almost laughed as James practically bumped into the fridge instead of opening it and she decided to take pity on him this morning. Today was never easy, and she didn't want to make it harder. Besides, much as she enjoyed the feeling of comradery against early rising, they couldn't be late today. Slipping off the stool she'd been perched on, she strode over to her son and took his shoulder, turning him towards the table and giving him a little push. He didn't need telling twice, just took a seat and scrubbed his hands over his face, trying to coax the sleep from his eyes. She scooped up the milk out of the fridge and set it on the table before heading to the cupboard filled with cereals she'd been trying in vain to get her son to try.
"How about we try bran flakes today?" She asked, looking over her shoulder as she reached up into the cupboard. James turned in his seat and shot her the famous "Gibbs" stare, with so uncanny a likeness Jen nearly shivered. Sometimes, he was too much like his father.
"I'm not that sleepy Mom." He retorted, and she grinned, hand moving over to his favourite cereal and sliding it out from the others to take over to her son. He smiled a little as she mock-huffed, setting the box down sharply and putting her nose up in the air. Then he looked pointedly over at her discarded bowl and raised an eyebrow. She looked up and around a little guiltily, knowing the same sugary stuff he was filling his bowl with also occupied hers. Another trait they shared. Another quirk he'd inherited from her. Another thing to make her smile, despite the heavy feeling in her heart.
His curly hair and his knobby knees
The way the sun brings those freckles out
Talk and talk never miss a beat
Yeah, he gets that from me
He gets that from me
Once he'd finished digging out the last few unhealthy bits of cereal from his bowl, Jenny swooped in and took the china over to the sink, rinsing it quickly before hurrying back over to her son and chivvying him upstairs to get washed and dressed, checking her watch as she also headed for her room and en suite. A few minutes later, they were both back downstairs, hair combed, clothes on and almost ready to face the hardest day of the year. Jen opened the front door and he slipped out in front of her, practically running down the steps to stand in front of Tony DiNozzo, straight backed and hand in a salute. Jen barely kept back the tears as she locked the front door and, dropping the keys into her handbag, followed James.
As she descended the stairs leading to her home, she admired the way her son's hair shone, the curls so adorable even at his growing age. The summer sun was just beginning to rise above the other houses in their neighbourhood, and though it was still early, Jenny could tell it was going to be a warm day. As she approached, Tony opened the back door of the car and nodded politely to her while still lending an ear to James' nonstop chatter. The boy had learnt to see Tony as a very close uncle, and Jenny couldn't help but respect DiNozzo for the effort he went to with James, and on occasion with her. Like today, driving them to the one place she really needed the privacy instead of them both having to deal with her ever close security detail. She slid into the car, and James hopped in after her, still talking about various things. He seemed to save all his news up until they were in the car on days like today and she smiled unconsciously, knowing it was another of her traits from her younger days. Jethro used to laugh so much when she talked on and on about something that had taken her fancy…
"And Mom, I asked my teacher why I get so many freckles like you said, and she said the Sun makes them come up, which explains why I don't have so many during the winter. But it means I can't avoid having them because I have to go outside a lot, I'm helping with the garden at school, you know, the one where we get to grow herbs and stuff, so I said isn't there a way to get them to stop coming and she said she didn't think so…" Jenny nodded along with the talk, letting him tell her everything simply because he wanted to, and her eyes glossed over the offended spots on his nose and cheeks, thinking they couldn't have made him look any cuter. She usually covered hers with foundation but she did have them, and Jethro had always found them so amusing, used to make a game of kissing each one when they woke up on a lazy morning.
He looks at me with those big blue eyes
He's got me in the palm of his hands
And I swear sometimes
It's just like you're here again
The grin on her son's face was getting so big, and he turned to look up at her with a directness that startled her as he continued talking about school. Jen had to blink and look away for a moment. Those huge blue eyes that should be so different because there was none of the anger or grief that her lover had carried behind them but they were still the same shade and shape, a constant reminder who his father was and is. He was so like Jethro sometimes. Those eyes were just like his, same stunning force behind them, same waves of emotions. Though she knew it was wrong, sometimes she wished she could believe just for a second that it was Jethro back with her again.
She missed her partner so much, and it was bittersweet in a way James couldn't imagine when he did something like his father. It could be the smallest thing, the way he moved or shook his head. Despite Jethro leaving this world so early in his son's life, it was always a wonderful and sad surprise how much he had picked up from him. Even the way he responded to a question sometimes, the same sharp intelligence that his father had so encompassed could be enough to spark her memories. James had even picked up on some of the things that reminded her of Jethro because he would recognise the look in her eyes and then say very quietly and gently,
"Dad used to do that, didn't he?" And from then on, he'd only do it when she needed to smile and she'd love him even more for it. It was like the tiny model of a boat he'd made in his technology lessons at school, when he'd brought it home she's practically burst into tears. But he'd made it into something wonderful, he'd said that they shouldn't stop remembering Dad and put it in pride of place on the mantlepiece, then sat by Jenny for the rest of the night, talking about their memories and favourite things. Now, every time she looked at it, she couldn't help smiling. James had even asked if they could try building one together sometime, though Jen wasn't quite sure if she was up to that yet.
He smiles that little crooked smile
There's no denying he's your child
Without him I don't know what I'd do
He gets that from you
Oh, he gets that from you
"Mom? You there?" James asked, waving a hand in front of his mother's face with a knowing look in his eyes, the one she'd just been thinking about and she grinned, blinking a few times and nodding at her son, ruffling a hand through his hair with a nod. She went to apologise but reflex kept her from voicing it and James knew it. Without even knowing it, he pulled on the perfect little half smile that had always been Jethro's way of saying 'Don't worry about it' and Jenny could have laughed or cried. Sometimes, he was so much like Jethro it hurt. Instead of either, she pulled him into her arms and kissed his forehead, tickling his side a bit and smiling back though James couldn't see it.
"Mom! Get off!" The boy cried out with a laugh in his voice, squirming under her hug as if embarrassed and maybe he was, after all, he looked up to Tony who never seemed to get hugs. Only thing was that James never saw them, he never saw Ziva hold Tony when holding everyone else together proved too much for the man Jethro had left everything to. So Jen didn't feel too bad about hugging her son a little while longer, before he finally got away and ran a hand through his hair in a mock offended way, glaring at his mother in the same way his father used to when she did something embarrassing. Like anticipating what he was going to say before he said it and telling the team before he even opened his mouth.
"James, you know I don't know how I'd get by without you, don't you?" Jen asked quietly, almost under her breath, not really sure if she wanted the boy to hear what she said. It was too close to being honest to be shared in a car but she'd said it because she wanted him to know. Without him, she'd have given up a long time ago. If he did hear, he didn't say anything, but Jenny had a feeling he had heard because he shunted a bit closer on the car seat and his talking seemed to dry up. For that, Jen was sorry. She didn't want him to feel sad, though if it was going to be any day, it would be today. In fact, they were nearly there now.
How he loves your old guitar
Yeah, he's taught himself to play
He melts my heart
Tells me he love me every day
"Hey James, how's the guitar playing coming along?" Tony called from the front seat, in an effort to dispel the silence that leaked into the conversation and James leapt on the question with unstinting enthusiasm, describing some new chords he'd learnt and how he'd managed to almost perfectly imitate the first line of a song he'd heard on the radio. Jenny almost rolled her eyes, the song was one he'd been practicing all week and had been pointed to by Abby. Of course, Jen had listened to it first, she didn't want her son to inherit the Goth's taste in music (her eardrums got enough of a bashing at work).
"Mom even gave me a new book on Monday that Dad used to use that I can learn some new stuff from. It's a bit old and the corners are folded over but it's pretty cool. It's even got some notes in it from where he's written stuff in." James explained with reverence, and Jenny smiled again, a lump rising in her throat as she thought how many times she's wondered whether she was doing the right thing before giving James that book. Jethro had pored over those papers so many times the ink was fading and the hand written portions were more precious to Jen than almost any of the other things he'd left behind. But she knew in her heart he would have wanted James to have it and her son had loved the gift more than she'd ever expected. The first time he'd looked through it, he's paused every time he saw his Dad's handwriting and traced over it with his fingertip and once he was done, he'd told her for what had to be only the second time that he missed his Dad. It'd made his Mom's heart melt and she'd barely stopped herself hugging him as tightly as Abbs.
Jenny looked up and met Tony's eyes in the mirror while they waited at some traffic lights and in the few seconds he could see in her eyes, he nodded, telling her with a look that she was right to have done it. He'd known Jethro almost as well as she had, and he was allowed to tell her if she'd done the right thing. He was one of the few people she went to for advice when it came to James, and not only because he was one of the few who knew about him, but because he always seemed to have the right perspective. Jethro's perspective. Between them, the mistakes had only been very few in number over the last few years.
And cracks jokes at the perfect time
Makes me laugh when I want to cry
That boy is everything to me
He gets that from you
He gets that from you
As if sensing the darkening mood in the car, James looked around for something to make a joke of and thought of the perfect thing. He leant over to his Mom and whispered in a loud voice,
"Abby told me that she caught Tony and Ziva coming out of the elevator a few days ago." James began, his eyes beginning to glitter with mischeif and Jen couldn't help the smirk as she watched Tony's cheeks begin to flush a little. He obviously knew where this was going, and Jenny had a fair idea, but she let her son go on. "She said they were really out of breath and Tony's collar was sticking up on one end. But when she asked them what they'd been doing, they said they'd only been making the same use of the elevator as you and Dad. When I asked her what she meant, I thought I understood. But thinking about it, I don't understand, how can you have a wrestling match in such a small space?"
Jenny couldn't hold down the laugh in her throat and it bubbled out, spilling into the back seat and out of the open window, a jarring difference to how she felt but a welcome distraction from the grief now welling up in her heart. Ducky had told her once that laughter was a great healer and she had a feeling he'd told the same thing to James, because whenever she felt like curling up into a ball and dying, he always managed to find something to make her smile. She could cope with it on any day of the year, she could put it aside until a more appropriate time on any other day of the year, but not today. But James managed to make her laugh, and she was grateful more each and every day for her son. Their son. It also didn't hurt that Tony was giving her a wary glance in the rear view mirror before Jame shad finished, wondering whether they were about to be keelhauled because they'd almost let slip something like that to James, but Abby had saved the day, as always. The whole idea was just too funny. On any other day, she probably wouldn't have found it half as funny, but right now she needed the endorphins.
It would be so easy to let go of her responsibilities and hide away in her townhouse for the rest of this miserable day, not coming out and just letting herself be swallowed in tears because she missed him that much, but as long as James was there she would not do that. She'd been sorely tempted some years, the sight of Tony waiting in his black suit and tie, the long and stretching lawn that meant they'd arrived at the place of death, the sight of his name etched in stone, it could have all been too much, but James was always there. They grabbed each other's hands and got there somehow.
Last night I heard him pray
Lord, help me and Mama make it through
And tell Daddy we'll be okay
He said he sure misses you
The car pulled up outside the cemetery and a respectful quiet descended over the car's occupants. Taking a deep breath she knew she would need, Jen opened her door and slipped out into the rising warmth and light of early morning, sliding her bag's strap further up her shoulder. James followed her and, like he always did, shyly curved his hand around hers, knowing the contact helped her and that he needed her just then. She forgot how to breathe for a minute as she stood very still, the entrance to the large graveyard standing tall in front of her. Then, at a nudge from James, she began the walk forward into the silent park that she knew too well.
It wasn't long before they were standing in front of the stone they knew. In striking letters were the words "NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs. Father, lover, friend and marine. He'll always be with us. Semper Fi." It had been a combination of so many people's sentiments, and Jenny had done her best to make sure no one felt that the side they had seen was not represented there. It had been hard to fit so much about one person into just a few short words. She knelt down and grazed her fingers down the side of the words, tears swelling and eventually running down her cheeks. Though it had been years since he'd passed away, it still hurt as if it was yesterday and she still loved him as much as she always had. James retreated a few paces away to let her talk and she opened her purse to take out the rose bud she'd put there earlier.
"James is growing up Jethro. He's doing so well at school, and playing your guitar, and you know how much he helps me. His teacher made them write down a prayer for his religious education lesson and I hope you heard what it said. He asked for strength, for him and for me, to help with things like today, and he asked God to tell you we're doing ok. He misses you badly Jethro. I'm not much of a father. Tony does his best but he can't be there all the time. I can only think that you're watching over us, and that'll have to be good enough." Jen paused, the inevitable tears shining unshed in her eyes as she placed the rose down in front of the head stone. "I – I love you Jethro. So does James. He still remembers so much. I will try and talk to him more, about you and about us. Just, please, watch over us." Then she stood, hardly feeling the tears tickle her skin as they reached her mouth and chin, and her son came back over, tucking his head into her side as her arm slid around him. There they stood together for a minute, each saying a silent prayer of their own to God and to Jethro. And she hoped it wasn't her imagination that the wind picked up just a little then and ran, like a hand, over both their faces to caress away their tears.
He sure misses you
He really misses you
He gets that from me