This is my first attempt at a first person view. Tell me what you think. I personally think it is not to bad. Please R&R

Disclaimer: Nope I don't own Harry Potter yet.. But one day *shakes fist*. I also do not own Bleeding Love.

…….

Closed off from love
I didn't need the pain
Once or twice was enough
And it was all in vain
Time starts to pass
Before you know it you're frozen

I cut myself off from love long ago. After my first boyfriend. Of course there is the exception of Victor Krum. But I never really loved him. If they all knew what I went through. They would know I am not open to that kind of pain again. I wish I could tell them sometimes. But I know there reaction and I would rather not share that sort of pain with them. It would also mean reliving something I locked away long ago.

Of course Viktor was a great boyfriend and nothing like the guy that broke my heart and left it to die. HE was sweet and really listened to me. But it got to hard to have him so far away with barely any contact. Funny thing was when I decided to let him go it didn't hurt. That's when I realized I didn't really love him. I guess I finally froze myself so that love didn't penetrate my heart anymore.

After so many years of ignoring it I must have programmed myself to ignore it even when it stares me in the face. But I am prepared to stay like that if it means I don't get hurt again.

Today Charlie is coming back from Romania for Christmas. Charlie is Ron's older brother. He is 21 and works in Romania with Dragons. HE is barely ever around, I spend all my holidays at the Weasley's so I am usually aware of visitors. I have only seen Charlie three or four times. Mostly around this time of the year. I haven't seen him in two years though because we both couldn't make the last two Christmas'. He is a nice guy. I get along with him better then the rest of his brother's. Well except of course Ron and Ginny.

Everyone is frantically running around trying to get everything set up and prepare the house for his arrival. I never really understood why they do that for family members. I mean they see the house all the time or at least grew up with everyone and know how they act so it shouldn't make much of a difference. But I would never say that. Especially to Mrs. Weasley. She is so excited to have everyone home again this Christmas.

But something happened
For the very first time with you
My heart melted into the ground
Found something true
And everyone's looking 'round
Thinking I'm going crazy

"Hermione?" I heard Ron call from the bottom of the stairs. I sighed and went to the door to look out, He was so lazy and couldn't climb just that flight of stairs to talk to me. I looked out and saw his cute tuff of orange hair that all his family had.

"Yea?" I asked

"He is going to be here soon mum wants you in the Kitchen" He called extra loudly and I knew he could see me so I nodded and he walked away. I walked slowly down the stairs. There was no point being down with the rest of them I want get a say until at least tomorrow. The whole family are all over members they haven't seen in a few years or days even. It will just be insane and I will be In the way.

As I expected when I entered the kitchen. Everyone was frantically running around. Then the small pop indicated that Charlie had just apparted. The entire kitchen fell silent and listened to his footsteps crunch through the gravel. I almost laughed in the silence but kept my mouth closed. Biting my tongue. Then he entered. I didn't see him but I knew he did because the family swarmed forward. I leaned against the table and watched. Then Harry came pushing out of the crowd.

"Hello Harry." I laughed. Harry smiled and walked towards me.

"Hey Hermione. Having fun?" He asked nodding his head towards the commotion.

"Oh yes. So far I have seen Charlie's hair." I laughed and Harry joined me sitting on the table. Soon the people parted and Charlie came forward.

"He was the best looking person I had ever seen. He was slim and his hair was a fiery Red. He smiled in mine and Harry's direction and I felt all the ice around my heart melt. This was the closest thing to love I felt in a long time. It was stronger then anything I had every felt. Charlie had changed greatly.

"Hey guys" He said in a raspy voice shaking Harry's hand. His voice was much deeper and he was still as nice as ever. I knew no matter how much I wanted to deny it or change it that I was in love with Charlie Weasley.

"Hey Charlie how is Romania?" Harry asked smiling. Then Charlie did it again he smiled and spoke in his raspy voice. I was drowning in it it was beautiful.

"Yea good. I am having lots of fun finding knew species and all." He said laughing then he looked at me. Once again I melted. All the ice was gone now and the fire was strong against my heart. "And how are you Hermione?" He asked me.

He was talking to me and for the first time in my life I was speechless. It was like I forgot how to form words and the more he smiled the more my brain got muddled. I could see Harry watching me like I was insane and maybe I was.

"Yea I am good" I finally managed to say. Charlie laughed. I smiled and looked away. I knew I was blushing and I bet he did to.

But I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

I knew it was wrong to be in love with Charlie he was much older then me. HE was my two best friend's brother and Ron had a giant crush on me. Which everyone knew about. But I couldn't help it he was perfect in everyway.

He was intelligent, nice, funny, polite and drop dead gorgeous. I found myself staring at him all day. Even the way he walked made me smile. And I knew at that moment that I didn't care what anyone thought. I was in love with Charlie Weasley and I was happy about it.

Of course I shouldn't do anything about it. I know I shouldn't.

"Hermione?" His voice broke me from my daydream and I looked up at him. His beautiful body in front of me.

"Yea?" I asked smiling. Charlie looked nervous and it tickled me.

"I want to ask you something" He said bluntly. I didn't want to get my hopes up but the truth was I did hope that he felt the same way. I hoped that we could be together. He shuffled his feet. We were in the lounge room next to each other on the couch.

"Yea?" I asked dumbly. He moved closer to me then and I held my breath. I wasn't even sure why.

"Well I know we haven't seen each other in a while but when I saw you.." He stopped and I was almost on the edge of my seat waiting for the rest. His voice had drawn me in again and I wanted him to keep speaking. He placed his hands on either said of the lounge I was resting on and leaned forward to kiss me.

The kiss was magical why should I protest? His lips were soft and cool nothing like I had ever witnessed. He was gentle and I didn't want him to stop. It seemed like he finished all to soon. He moved out and looked at me his beautiful blue eyes staring into my crappy brown eyes. I smiled which was all I could do through the blushing. I was aware of everyone staring at us and so was Charlie I could tell.

Trying hard not to hear
But they talk so loud
Their piercing sounds fill my ears
Try to fill me with doubt
Yet I know that their goal
Is to keep me from falling

Charlie grabbed my hand and lead me towards the stairs.

"Charlie!" Mrs. Weasley yelled from the Kitchen. Charlie looked at me and smiled then once again pressed his irresistible lips to mine and walked down the stairs.

I didn't mean to listen but she was yelling. I think the whole house heard Mrs. Weasley.

"Charlie what are you planning!?!" She yelled I wasn't sure if she was asking Charlie to respond or daring him to.

"How old do you think I am mum? We are going to talk. Besides we are both old enough." He said slyly. I could have killed him. But I think Mrs. Weasley beat me too it.

"IF YOU HURT HER OR STEAL HER INNOCENCE SO HELP ME I WILL.." She yelled louder rocking the house. But she was cut off.

"I know mum I know. I will even keep the door open." He mocked. Hermione tried not to giggle at how much he reminded her of the twins. The he was back at my side pushing me roughly up the stairs. Even though we were not that close I could tell he was pissed off at his mum. We got to his room which he shared with Bill and he pulled me onto his bed.

He kissed me again but I pushed him off this time. I needed to understand what was going on.

"What's going on?" I asked dumbly. I could have thought of more to say but I wanted his lips back now to kiss. I wanted his arms around me. Which is exactly what he did next. He grabbed my waist and pulled me closer to him holding me tightly and firmly.

"I really like you Hermione." He said thoughtfully. I looked closely at his eyes. Then I smiled and kissed his lips softly.

"I really like you to." I said once again so stupidly. I would have to think of something smarter to say soon enough. I mean I am top of my year and am having trouble now? Absolutely appalling.

"Hermione I only have a bit of time here. As you know. I want to be with you and I know we can make it work. I will see you as much as I can I promise you." He sounded like he was pleading for me to be his girlfriend. I had to laugh. He looked up and smirked

"What?" He said defensively but I shook my head.

"Oh nothing." I said playfully Charlie had other things on his mind and decided to drop it.

"I think you should stay in here tonight." He said softly. I couldn't help but smile. I wanted to be with him to not let him go. So I got my stuff and slept in his room cradled in his arms all through my sleep. Of course we spent half the night kissing till both our jaws were sore. When I woke up Bill and Charlie were both snoring loudly. I rolled out of bed and made my way to the kitchen to make Coffee.

When I got down there no one was around. I smiled and made coffee then sat at the bench. I had only taken a sip when Fred and George came bustling in hitting each other or goofing around. They both looked the same to me.

I smiled when they looked up but they were frowning.

"You know he works in Romania?" Fred said rudely.

"Morning to you too." I said rudely back.

"Seriously he is much older then you and will break your heart." George helped Fred along. I know they meant well. They didn't want to see me hurt again. But something was different about Charlie. I knew deep down he wasn't going to hurt me. Of course all my other emotions surfaced and I looked down trying to ignore them.

But nothing's greater
Than the rush that comes with your embrace
And in this world of loneliness
I see your face
Yet everyone around me
Thinks that I'm going crazy
Maybe, maybe

Something startled me. At first I thought it was Fred and George trying to get me to listen but it was a different voice.

"OI!" Charlie yelled. I looked up he was leaning against the doorway and looking at Fred and George. The twins jumped and looked at Charlie then looked down in shame.

"Got a problem mate?" He said to them both and Fred and George shook their heads and left the room. Charlie walked over to me and hugged my waist tightly.

"Don't listen ok?" He said softly and I loved his arms wrapped around me and I wanted more. I turned in my seat and held him tightly. Charlie fumbled a bit with the impact but held me tighter all the same. His embrace was tight but lose. I felt totally safe in his arms I never wanted him to let me go. Unfortunately…

"I have to go to Diagon Alley with Bill today. I will be back in an hour." He said softly and I smiled even through my disappointment.

"Ok then. Well I will see you soon" I said politely and he surprised me. He pushed me up against the bench and kissed me hard. I was shocked. His embrace tightened and he pushed against me. It was the best kiss I had ever had. I wanted more. Once again he stopped much to soon. Of course we were both out of breath. Then he smiled and left.

It got close to an hour and I was sick of the silence and the comments so I went to sit outside on the front verandah. Ron and Harry cae out a little after to "talk" to me.

"You cant stay out here and wait Hermione." Ron said logically

"Well if I am not going to get respected n the house then what choice do I have?" I said softly and Ron shrugged.

"Whatever. But you will go insane waiting for him." Ron said slyly. I knew that had more then one meaning and I was mad.

But I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open

I was very happy to see Charlie and Bill walking up the driveway. Charlie smiled when he saw me but Bill moved forward first and came towards me. I was annoyed I didn't want to hear more of the "I cant be with him" speech.

"Hey Hermione. I was talking with Charlie. Trust me I am not on mum's side." He winked at me and I couldn't hold back the greatest smile I had ever had.

"Thankyou Bill" I said softly and Bill winked again and walked inside. Charlie came towards me and hugged me tightly.

We walked inside for lunch and Molly glared at us. Charlie held me tighter. Like all the Weasley boys he was about twice the size of me and much stronger so it was easy for him to cart me into the kitchen. We sat down and everyone watched us except Bill who was busy getting as much food as he could. I giggled and Charlie smiled at me.

I realized then that I don't care if people like our relationship or not. Its not their problem. And even though I knew he would be leaving in a couple of weeks and we wouldn't see each other for a while. And even though I knew it would break my heart and even though I knew I would miss him. I also knew that I loved him. And weather people cared or not we would stay like this as long as WE were happy.

I watched him stuff his face like all the Weasley's and smiled to myself. I had let my heart melt. He had melted it. I did not regret a thing about it.