What would have happened if Alex never named Piper? Piper still would have called Alex to talk about Larry's tattoo. Inspired by the flashback in season 5 of Piper calling Alex drunk from the bathroom.
He only got the tattoo so that he didn't feel left out when someone asked about mine, how he came up with the kool-aid man I'll never know and I don't want to know. 'Love is pain' now that was a unique tattoo that was funny without being so stupidly ridiculous. At least with that tattoo she had a purpose, even if it was to undermine the story I tried to tell with my tattoo. It wasn't my fault my mind was wondering to the dark-haired beauty from the past, it was his. It was his fault as he had to get that idiotic tattoo, he had to be so nice that I couldn't tell him the truth about the art that was now permanently marked onto his skin, he had to snore and keep me awake. Ok, maybe the last one wasn't his fault as it was me that told him to go to bed, it was me that decided to open the wine and it was me who remembered her phone number.
Collecting my phone, wine glass and most importantly the wine I moved to the bathroom quietly set in completing my mission. Before I shut the door and ran to call my ex-girlfriend I needed to make sure the coast was clear for the forbidden task.
"Lare?...Lare?"
Shutting the door, I slid down to the floor and filled up my wine glass for liquid courage to help me on this venture. Pressing the numbers on the screen felt so natural. It felt wrong to keep her listed on the contact list just in case anyone ever found her and the secrets that were buried with her. I took years to erase the number but it didn't matter as the it like the lyrics from an old nursery rhyme that wen around your head, hard to forget or ignore.
"Shalom, you know that means hello and goodbye? Just like aloha but you probably knew that. Something that you may not know is that today my boyfriend got a tattoo of the kool-aid man. Oh yeah. Believe me Al, its no 'Love is pain'"
I couldn't help but laugh at the memory of how proud she was when she brought it home carved into her skin. Being shown the work I pretended to be angry for less than a minute before letting the laughter fall from my lips to join hers.
A sudden thought occurred that maybe she had no clue what deranged ex was leaving her some random message. It would have gone a lot smoother if she had picked up so that I knew that she knew it was me.
"This is Piper by the way. Blast from the past. Recognise my voice? Boy, well I guess things, you know things are bad when you're calling old girlfriends from the bathroom floor in the middle of the night huh. How are you still… in my brain? Where are you? Do you miss me? Probably not. I miss you. I don't know what I'm doing. Shalom"
Her voice was the one thing I needed to hear to stop me from opening up yet getting to leave a message allowed me to open up and admit the things I hid from myself. I was never going to get over Alex Vause no matter how hard I tried. She was in my brain every day but I had buried it so far that I could no loner feel the longing that would never leave me. It was Larry's fault that my mind let down the walls, he had to remind me of her tattoo that she got just for me and the one I got just for her. Maybe her not picking up was fate letting me put myself back in check, put the wine down and go get into bed with my boyfriend. My boyfriend Larry who got a tattoo of the kool-aid man. Every time I thought of that stupid artwork it just made me long her even more. At least hers had a meaning even if it was to just spite me and my tattoo but it was something to react to and not a stupid fictional character made for marketing.
Sighing I pulled myself up using the bathtub with a slight wobble. I knew I'd regret the phone call tomorrow, I probably would have regretted it more if she had answered but right now I just wanted to hear her voice.
Then the phone rang.
"shit it's her."
Just when I thought I head my life going at a steady pace she interrupts it and I don't know whether I welcomed her intrusion or whether I still resented her. Not knowing what to do I let the phone ring staying embarrassed at being a coward. I can't answer as I don't what she is going to or what she wants and hearing her voice would leave me empty as I wouldn't be able to see her.
I waited till I heard the beep for the notification of a voicemail and with shaky hands I led the phone up to my ear to listen. The message was over far too quickly and left me reeling. She was obviously tipsy but there was no resentment or confusion in her voice. In fact it sounded hopeful and she actually sought her out. It almost sounded like she missed me but I didn't want to get my hopes too high. I slowly pulled the phone away from my ear attempting to process what had happened.
"So, what did the mystery lady have to say? Does the schnauzer get clipped at dawn? Are you ok? Fuck, do we need to get out of here?"
Shit, Kate was still here. I needed her out so I could think clearly.
"erm yeah, yeah you need to get out of here"
"Seriously?"
"Yeah you need to go"
"oh, ok. Erm ok"
"Look it's for your own safety"
"Sure, I get it. I get it"
I knew she was trying her best to be understanding but I could tell she was confused at my sudden mood change. Kate was nice but she was missing the most important thing I needed. She wasn't Piper Chapman.
A few seconds of deliberation was enough for me to realise that I wanted, no needed to hear more of her voice. I needed to listen to her and speak to her. I didn't realise it till now but I needed Piper Chapman to be back in my life at this exact moment. Clicking pressing 'call back' I quickly put the phone to my ear and tried to control my breathing while the dial tone rang.
Shit. Fuck. She's calling back.
"Hello, Piper?"