I worte this story for a ficexchange over at Hogwarts is Home. Draco/Hermione is a pairing I've never really explored before so hopefully it's okay! Enjoy :)

Don't own Harry Potter, it all belongs to JKR. Just using it for my own enjoyment.

You Don't Understand

Draco winced as he poured another bottle of Firewhiskey down his throat. He could feel his insides burn as he slammed the bottle down onto the bar. It immediately got lost amongst the identical bottles surrounding him. Some were half full, but most were drained to the very last drop. Draco had no idea how much he had already drunk that night, but he had no plans to stop.

He would need much more than what he had already consumed to make it to the morning.

"Can I get another one?" he slurred out, motioning towards the bartender.

"You sure you need another one there kid? I think it'd be best if you slowed down a bit," said the bartender; nevertheless, he pulled out a bottle from underneath the bar.

Draco didn't recognize the man standing in front of him, but then again, he didn't recognize most of the people who worked at the Leaky Cauldron these days. He tried to avoid the pub as much as possible. All the noise and people were bad enough, but really the thing he hated most of all was the shameless way people stared him.

"Don't tell me what to do," he replied, his lip curling up into the sneer that seemed to grace his features quite often these days, "I'll drink however bloody much I want to."

"Sure kid, you're the boss."

"You're damn right I'm the boss. Listen you giant sod, you have no idea what I've been through the past couple of years. Have no idea about the things I've seen and the things I've had to do. If I want to have a couple of drinks so I can forget about my past, you better believe that I will." Draco somehow managed to slur out, his voice slowly rising to that volume which indicated that he did indeed need to slow down the drinking.

"We've all been through a lot these past couple of years, buddy," the bartender said, his eyes narrowing. "You ain't the only one with problems."

Draco slammed his fist against the bar. His vision began going cloudy with anger as he screamed, "But nobody's problems are as big as mine! You don't understand! Nobody understands! All those things I did, I hate myself for every last one of them. You can't believe how much I despise myself these days. It's. Just. Not. Fair."

The whole pub fell silent and all eyes turned to Draco as he folded his arms against the bar and lowered his head into them.

Suddenly a voice came from the other end of the bar, breaking through the silence like a rogue bludger flying through a window.

"I don't understand where all the self-loathing comes from."

Draco raised his head, and he, along with all the other occupants of the Leaky Cauldron, turned his head and looked at the owner of the voice. His eyes instantly narrowed.

"I wouldn't expect you to understand, you filthy little mudblood," he spat out.

Outraged cries broke out in the room.

"It's okay," Hermione said, attempting to placate those around her. Some people had even risen out of their chairs in anger. "That word means nothing coming from you, Malfoy. It's honestly lost its effect. Now, care to answer my question."

Draco waited in silence as the others in the room went back to their own business. Just when it seemed like Hermione wouldn't get her answer he said, "Wouldn't you hate yourself too?"

Her chocolate brown eyes softened. "I know it can't be the easiest thing to live with…"

"Then why are you asking, Granger? Just please, leave me alone. I really don't want to put up with this crap tonight."

"I want to understand," she said, laying a hand softly on his harm.

Draco jumped, flinching away from her touch. He didn't know why, but he regretted his action immediately. Seeing the hurt look on Hermione's face shouldn't have affected him at all, yet he could feel something stirring in the pit of his stomach. It was guilt.

It wasn't that he didn't want her touching him; it was just that he was surprised. Nobody had laid a gentle hand on him a long time.

"Understand?" he finally said after a long minute of silence.

"You said nobody understood - I want to understand. I've always wanted to understand those things that others didn't. You Draco Malfoy are something that I've been trying to understand for the last ten years, and yet I still can't seem to figure you out."

"And why haven't you stopped trying to figure me out? I mean I know I'm extremely fascinating and whatnot, but one would think that after ten years you'd give up." Draco said, his mood lifting suddenly, and a bit of his previous swagger returning to his voice. There was a full bottle of Firewhiskey in hand, but for the first time in recent memory, he was paying no attention to it.

"I like a challenge," Hermione said, a small smile playing on her lips. "Plus, if there's something I want to learn about, I won't stop until I've found out everything possible about that subject. And trust me Malfoy, I feel like I haven't even begun learning about you."