Shadow Snark Chapter 2

by Sharona Magliozzo

Shadow Snark nearly had a heart attack from the shock of seeing all the ponies in front of him and stood in stunned silence until Twilight approached him from the side. "On the other hand maybe you'll just have to power through the insanity. I'll try to introduce you to some relatively normal ponies." She said.

"Damn." Said Shadow Snark but agreed none the less.

Twilight Sparkle led him through endless partying ponies- many of which didn't even seem to know the party was for him- until they came to a blue Pegasus with a rainbow mane.

"Hi Rainbow Dash." Said Twilight

"Hey Twilight, who's your friend?" said the Pegasus

"This is Shadow Snark, head scribe for Princess Celestia." Said Twilight

"Nice to meet you." Said the Pegasus

"You knocked me into a puddle of mud this morning." Said Shadow Snark

"Oh…sorry." Said the Pegasus

"It's cool I got nice boots out of it." Said Shadow Snark

"And a window washing job." Said a familiar voice behind Shadow Snark, he turned around to see Rarity behind him.

"Oh so you've met Rarity already?" asked Twilight

"Yes, she gave me this awesome hat and these sick kicks." Said Shadow Snark

"I don't think ponies say sick kicks anymore." Said Rainbow Dash

"I've been in isolation for a few years." Said Shadow Snark "In fact I got sent here so that I could learn to be less socially retarded."

"How's that workin' out for ya?" asked Rainbow Dash sarcastically

"Poorly, my urge to flip out and run from this party screaming and possibly commiting over the top violence is barely contained." Said Shadow Snark

There was an awkward moment of silence in which everyone involved in the previous conversation was super uncomfortable. Eventually Twilight Sparkle broke the awkwardness by saying, "Hey look over there an excuse to leave." She then pushed Shadow Snark away from the group toward the excuse to leave.

"So how am I doing, am I friendly?" asked Shadow Snark

"No, you're socially awkward and ill fit to be around ponies." Said Twilight

"That was blunt."

"Hey I'm still learning myself, let me introduce you to another socially awkward pony. You might like her."

Twilight pushed Shadow Snark until they reached a blonde Pegasus with butterfly wings and a pink mane.

"Hey Shadow Snark, meet-"

"Fluttershy. It's incredibly awkward to see you again." Said Shadow Snark

"Sooooo, you two have met before I take it?" said Twilight

"Yeah. It's kind of a long story." Said both Fluttershy and Shadow Snark turning away from each other

"What happened?" asked Twilight

"oh you know… stuff…" said Fluttershy and Shadow Snark, still avoiding the others glances

"Right, this isn't gonna work." Said Twilight and shoved Shadow Snark along

"I don't think I'm doing so well…" said Shadow Snark

"You'll learn." Said Twilight, "Besides you'll like this next pony."

She continued to push him until they came to an Orange Pony wearing a cowboy hat.

"Applejack, meet Shadow Snark. He's socially retarded and requires knowledge about friendship." Said Twilight

"Ain't learnin' people on friendship more yer department Twilight?" said Applejack

"I learned everything I know about friendship from you, Fluttershy, Rarity, Rain-"

"Yeah yeah the main six I got it. But we weren't all that close until you came around and knitted us into a close knit group of true companions. Perhaps he merely needs to find five stragglers and unite them as you did us."

There was a short pause then Twilight Sparkle said, "That was significantly more perceptive and urbane than usual."

"Yeah I'm pretty smashed on moonshine right now, but it was nice meetin' y'all." Said Applejack then trotted away. After a brief pause Shadow Snark said, "For a drunken hillbilly she was pretty smart. Not bad to look at either."

"Well what do you think?" asked Twilight

"About what?"

"About her idea?"

"It's a good idea if we can find stragglers. Got any ideas as to who I can take?"

"Well Derpy doesn't seem to hang out with anyone, so she's probably available."

"And I don't see my cousin Shine Down anywhere, so he's likely a straggler."

"Let me check, hey Pinky!" Twilight shouted to the pink pony

the pink pony bounced toward Shadow Snark and Twilight

"Yes?" asked Pinky

"Do you know a pony named Shine Down?" asked Twilight

"YEAH! HE'S WEIRDLY LOUD SO HE DOESN'T HAVE MANY FRIENDS! ALSO DISCO WENT OUT OF STYLE YEARS AGO! THATS WHY WE HIRED VINYL SCRATCH! ISN'T TECHNO GREAT? HEY HAVE YOU EVER WONDERED WHY WE HAVE TECHNO MUSIC AND DJ TABLES BUT NO OTHER FORMS OF TECHNOLOGY ASIDE FROM OVENS AND SEWING MACHINES? HOLYFREAKINCRAPITHINKI'MONTOSOMETHING! IT'S PERPLEXING! OH LOOK CAKE BYE!" answered Pinky and then left.

"Well from what I got from all that... general nonsense my cousin is in fact a straggler." said Shadow Snark

"Perfect! Now we just need three more stragglers." Said Twilight

"I can develop and get ponies to join my cabal as we progress on this whole friendship thing. For now, where's that Derpy girl you spoke so highly of?" asked Shadow Snark

"She's the one over there eating muffins. Now go socialize, you two might have something in common."

Shadow Snark trotted over to the pegasus refered to as Derpy

"Hi I'm Shadow Snark." said Shadow Snark, "I understand your a straggler with no true companions, would you like to join my cadre?"

"Huh?" asked the crosseyed pegasus

"You don't have friends, do you want one?"

"I have friends!" said Derpy, "Like Rainbow Dash! Right Rainbow Dash?"

"No!" Yelled Rainbow Dash across the chaos

"Oh ok, guess I don't have friends, yeah I'll take that friendship offer now." said Derpy

"Your rather... euphoric for someone who just learned they don't have any friends." said Shadow Snark

"I have friends."

"Just me as it turns out."

"There's also Rainbow Dash. Right Rainbow Dash?"

"What did I tell you eight seconds ago Derpy?" shouted Rainbow Dash

"Oh right, sorry I forgot." said Derpy

There was a short pause then Shadow Snark said, "You're pretty smashed on moonshine, huh?"

"Nope." said Derpy

Another short pause followed

"Are you sure?" asked Shadow Snark

"Yup." said Derpy

Yet another short pause followed

"Well I'm going to get smashed, I can't take another second of this party sober."

And so Shadow Snark got totally smashed and the rest of the night was a blur, he may have done the robot or possibly the worm, thankfully his dignity was preserved by the fact that Youtube had not been invented. He woke up at noon the next day staring at Derpy.

End Chapter 2