"Gaah wuhmuh."
Kamilah glanced at Ana, who was currently clinging onto her arm and staring at her with a solemnity tempered by the wooziness in her gaze, and her mouth that could not quite close itself at the moment.
"Pardon?" Kamilah asked. She kept Ana's hand in her own, guiding the woman back to their car.
"Guh aow wuh muh," Ana repeated slowly.
"Still don't know what you're saying."
The sniper whined and – from what Kamilah could see through her parted lips – used her tongue to nudge the two pieces of gauze between her teeth. Then she started a chewing motion, and the medic held onto her jaw in panic.
"Don't chew the gauze!"
Ana pulled her hand away. She flexed her jaw a little, then continued painstakingly, "Gou ow wif me."
"Go out with you?" Kamilah repeated, and Ana's face lit up as she bounced on her feet. "Where?"
"I'unno… Yore really pretty."
"Thank you. But you're not in any condition to go out right now." She resisted the urge to laugh when Ana appeared utterly devastated. Her arm was swung back and forth in a desperate plea.
"Buh I wanna!"
"Tomorrow, alright?" Kamilah said, unlocking the car doors. She clicked her tongue at the child-like whine. "Ana, you just had two wisdom teeth removed. Even if we went out, you can't do anything."
"I can shood pweple," Ana argued, eyes locked on Kamilah even as she was pushed into the passenger seat.
"That's not legal."
Ana's reply was shut out by Kamilah closing the door. When she got into the driver's seat, it became apparent Ana had continued speaking as though Kamilah had been by her side all the while.
"–then, we can fly to Rushshia."
Kamilah kept quiet and let Ana ramble to her heart's content. She started up the engine, and was about to change gears when Ana hugged onto her arm, pulling her to the side.
"Marry me."
"I already did."
"Whuh?"
"We're already married, Ana," Kamilah told her, bringing up their hands to display the gold wedding bands. Ana stared at the rings in disbelief for a moment. Then, instead of relief or happiness, her face crumpled with disappointment.
"Nooo," she moaned, holding onto Kamilah's hand and slumping back into her seat. "But I wanna marry you." Then she bolted upright. "Divorce."
"What?"
"Wanna marry you again."
"No," Kamilah said flatly, placing Ana's hands in her lap. As expected, they stayed still for barely a second, then clung onto Kamilah's arm as Ana gave another high-pitched whine. "Come on, Ana. Let's just go home first, okay? Then we'll talk about it some more."
Thankfully, the sniper behaved for once – though she did speak incessantly the whole time. In the twenty-minute drive from the dentist to their home, Ana managed to talk about the taste of clouds, a rash she once got on her bum, chilli chocolates, Hollywood, Bollywood, Egypt's non-existent Disneyland, creepy goats, edible cups, UFOs and aliens. She also asked repeatedly for a second wedding, which would have two rainbows and dragons and glittering floats and Beyoncé. To say that Kamilah was relieved to reach home was an understatement. After being released from the seat belt, Ana stumbled out of the car.
"Milah. Milah, look," Ana said, when Kamilah had alighted as well. "Cotton candy."
The medic's eyes widened, and she practically vaulted over the hood of the car to hold Ana's jaw still, stopping her from chewing on the 'cotton candy'.
"Ana, listen to me," Kamilah said slowly, cradling her wife's swollen cheeks in her hands. "Do not chew the gauze. Understand? I don't want you disturbing the stitches."
A look of horror passed over Ana's features. "Stitches? In my mouth?"
As if to complete the horrified expression, blood started dripping from the corners of her mouth. Ana wiped at the thin red streams and stared at her hand dumbly, unable to comprehend what was happening. Her eyes never left her palm even as Kamilah rushed her through the house, slamming the toilet door open and bending Ana over the sink. The gauze fell out in a short gush of blood that made Kamilah worry. But Ana did not share her concern, staring in wonder at the splash of red over white porcelain.
"I'm making tomato juice," she said, blood and spittle flying from her lips.
Well. At least she's not panicking. Kamilah waited until the flow had stopped, and made Ana rinse her mouth instead of– 'Stop swallowing the blood, Ana! No it's not juice it's blood! Blood!' She washed away the red on Ana's chin and downturned lips, then gave her two new pieces of gauze to bite on. After promising not to chew anymore, Ana said she wanted to watch TV. So they wound up lying on the corner sofa together. Kamilah held onto Ana, who had her arms wrapped tightly around the medic, head resting on Kamilah's shoulder as she ignored the movie she insisted on watching.
"Milah," Ana muttered, snuggling into the crook of her neck.
"Hm?"
"I wanna have your babies."
"I already have one," Kamilah sighed, kissing the top of her head. "A very big one."
A/N: Apparently some American dentists give their patients laughing gas for operations…? Idk I just wanted whacked out Ana.