A Christmas to Remember:

Warnings: um… 1x2, 3x4, 5xS, ZxN yea… cussing, violence… maybe I dunno

Disclaimer: I don't own gundam wing and or anything else made by bandi entertainment and don't sue me! It's Christmas for gods sake! And don't sue me AFTER Christmas either! that's just mean. I'm just a kid, a lonely lil 15 year old who happens to like yaoi and gundam wing SO much that I write fics about it! *hides in corner*

It's Christmas time again, and the G-boys are all excited. Trowa and Quatre are decorating their mansion for the upcoming Christmas party. Wufei is out with sally buying gifts, Zechs and Noin are drunk off their asses at a preventers pre-Christmas office party. Duo was at home, depressed and lonely, getting ready for another Christmas alone.

It had been two years, three this Christmas, that Heero had left. He had been called out by Dr.J for some mission or something, even though the war was over he still listened to the old doctor. Duo had thought J was out of their lives forever, but apparently not.

"Oh Heero why did you have to leave like that? You didn't have to accept the mission, the war's over, why'd you do it?" Duo was wrapped in a blanket on his couch in a very nice apartment. It was being paid for by Quatre, the apartment had three bedrooms, two bathrooms and a rather large kitchen. He hadn't bought much furniture, but then he didn't really need it. He had a black leather couch and a huge entertainment center with a 56" TV and a DVD player and PS2 with a large assortment of DVD's and games. There was a king sized bed in one of the bedrooms in which Duo and Heero had slept together for a very short time before Heero went away. In the kitchen there were some dishes, not many, you don't need much for two people, some pots and pans, a stove, oven, fridge, microwave, and a dishwasher, (A/N: and yes a sink if you want to be stupid)

The TV was on but Duo wasn't watching it. He looked over at a picture of Heero on the side table.

~ ~*Flashback*~ ~

"Thanks for dinner Heero."

"Don't mention it"

They were walking back to their apartment after having dinner at a rather expensive restaurant, it was a nice night and the place wasn't very far from where they lived so they walked.

Duo was clinging to Heero's arm and smiling from ear to ear, how lucky he was to have such a wonderful boyfriend, he loved him so much, and Heero loved Duo just as much.

Just as Duo was about to express his "feelings" to Heero, Heero's pager went off.

'God damnit' Duo thought

Heero pulled out his pager and looked at it, his face suddenly turned into a big frown.

"Heero? What is it?"

"it… it's nothing, come on" Heero started to walk faster and Duo noticed this, not to mention the frown on Heero's face.

When they got to the apartment Heero went straight to his laptop and started typing away.

Duo frowned 'I thought I burned that fucking thing' He sighed, he knew Heero wouldn't get off that thing for at least another hour or so, he also knew something was wrong but didn't want to ask Heero what it was, he figured he'd find out sooner or later. So he went to the living room and turned on the TV.

About two hours later Heero came into the living room, Duo jumped up to go hug him until he noticed the bags in Heero's hands.

"H-Heero?… Wha-what are you doing?" Duo's eyes started to water

"I … I have to go… it's a mission"

"But Heero the war's over! You don't have to do what that psycho fucker says anymore!" Duo was crying now. He ran over to Heero and hugged him tightly, causing Heero to drop his bags, crying into his shoulder. "Don't go! Please Heero! don't leave me! I don't want you to go I love you!"

Heero hugged Duo back tightly and said "I love you too Duo, but I… I have to go, I'm sorry its too important to leave undone"

"But why?! The war is over Heero, you don't have to do anymore missions! We're finally together! When we got this place it was the happiest day of my life because I thought it meant that we could finally just live our lives with each other! Please don't go Heero!"

Heero's jacket now had a big wet spot on it from Duo's tears. "Duo… please… your not making this any easier, I don't want to go but I have to, don't you understand?"

"no! no I don't understand! You don't HAVE to do anything anymore, so why are you going?!"

Heero pulled Duo off him and shook him by the shoulders "I do HAVE to go Duo, I cant tell you what the mission is! And you cant stop me from going, I don't WANT to go but I HAVE to!" Heero stopped shaking him and embraced him again and said "I'm so sorry Duo but I have to go…. I love you so much."

Duo was crying heavily into heero's chest "I love you too Heero… I don't want to lose you, your all I have."

"I know and I will miss you so much Duo"

Duo sniffled and pulled away and looked Heero in the eyes "will you be back?"

Heero looked at Duo's eyes then at the floor. "I …I don't know"

Duo shut his eyes and hugged Heero again then let him go and backed away

"Duo…"

"I guess… I guess you should get going" Duo said with tears running down his face.

Heero covered the short distance between him and Duo and locked their lips in a soft kiss, no tongue.

"Duo… I don't know how long I will be gone but… but I want you to wait for me… no matter how long I'm gone, please wait for me, I love you so much Duo. I want to be with you forever, just think of it like repairing your gundam and your waiting for a vital part to come in so it will be complete, and no other parts can make it that way… only that one will fix it."

"ok Heero…"

"I have to go now Duo…"

"ok…"

Heero gave Duo another soft kiss on the lips before grabbing his bags and heading for the door. He opened the door then turned around "I love you Duo, forever and always, don't ever forget how much I love you. goodbye my tenshi"

Duo could only watch as Heero walked out and shut the door behind him. When the door clicked, Duo fell to the floor and cried his heart out….

~~*End Flashback*~~

Duo was crying now an had his head buried in his arms, he did this every so often, especially on the holidays. Duo was brought out of his thinking and crying when his vidphone rang. He got up and hit the accept button, it was Quatre

"hey Duo!" Quatre said a bit too cheery, he knew how Duo got on holidays

"hi Quatre" Duo sniffled

"are you ok Duo?"

"no"

Quatre suddenly looked worried "I'm sorry Duo, what's the matter? Heero again?"

"yea, I cant stop thinking about him, and this fucking time of the year isn't helping"

"I'm very sorry Duo, I know how much you miss him, I cant believe he just left like that, I mean what kind of…"

"Quatre, I don't really want to talk about it, why did you call anyway?" Duo was getting kinda mad at Quatre.

"oh… well I was wondering if you were coming down this year, you know your always welcome and we would love you to come for this years party"

"Quatre, like the past two years, I will decline your offer, I don't want to do anything, my life means nothing without Heero. I have to go Quatre, bye" Duo hung up before Quatre could say anything and sighed.

The vidphone rang again and Duo growled and mentally cursed Quatre 'why wont he leave me the fuck alone' Duo looked at the caller ID only to realize it wasn't Quatre calling back, it was Hildi. He hit the accept button

"hello Hildi"

The first thing she noticed was his red and puffy eyes "hey Duo are you ok?"

"no, im sure you know why"

"yea, I do… do you want me to come over and we can talk about it?"

Duo thought about it, he did want to talk about it, but not with Quatre, he felt he could trust Hildi more with stuff. "um sure I guess… what time will you be here?"

"um ill be there in 30 minutes or less"

"ok. Oh and bring clothes you'll be spending the night."

"kay see you then"

"bye" after Duo hung up the phone for the second time that night, he went and unhooked the door so Hildi could get in, then went back into the living room and sat back on the couch and sighed.

About twenty minutes later he hear a knock at the door "it's open Hildi" Duo yelled at the door.

Hildi entered and walked over to Duo and sat down beside him "hey hun, you want to talk about it?"

"yes and no" Duo leaned over onto Hildi's shoulder and she wrapped her arm around him.

"I just … I just don't know what to do anymore Hildi, I miss him so much. I've thought about finding someone else to try and fill the void but I know there will never be anyone else but Heero that can do that. I'm so alone and I hate it, I know that I have you and the others here for me but its just not the same." Duo sighed and closed his eyes

"have you… have you thought about suicide?"

Duo nodded "yes, I've thought about it a lot…. Yesterday I came really close to doing it, I had a razor to my wrist and was about to slide it across, but before I could I heard a knock at the door, it was the neighbor kid, she had some cookies for me, her mom always bakes stuff for all the tenants, don't know why, anyway, I said thanks and put them on the table then went back to the bathroom to finish it, but I couldn't do it, I just lost my nerve."

"well I'm so glad you didn't Duo, I don't know what I would do if you killed yourself."

"I know. After each failed attempt I get to thinking about it and I hate myself for even trying, but it just hurts so much Hildi, I just want the pain to go away, I want Heero to come back, I miss him so much and its killing me." Duo was sobbing quietly now.

"I know Duo, I know." she laid her head on his and sighed.

"Hildi?"

"hmm?"

"Do you… do you think he's dead?"

"I don't know Duo, he's been gone for three years, but I like to believe that he is still alive."

"me too…"

After some more talking they went to bed. Hildi slept in one of the guest bedrooms, all it had was a bed but that's all she really needed.

The next morning Duo woke up to the smell of eggs and bacon. He went into the kitchen only to find Hildi hovered over the stove, he cocked his head and said "uh Hildi?"

"Oh hey Duo, just felt like cooking breakfast, you like eggs right?"

"um sure" Duo went and sat down at the kitchen table "hey Hil what is today?"

"its Christmas Eve"

"oh" Duo laid his head on the table.

Hildi made two plates of bacon and eggs and took them to the table and placed one in front of Duo who sat up and looked at it.

"whats wrong?"

"uh nothing just not really hungry is all."

"well you need to eat Duo… when was your last meal? and don't lie"

Duo looked up in thought "um… I'd say probably yesterday morning"

Hildi pushed Duo's plate up closer to him "eat."

Duo looked at her then at the plate "…. fine" he picked up his fork and took a bite out of the eggs. Duo's eyes grew big and then started to water, he jumped up and ran to the garbage can to spit out the 'eggs' "what the fuck did you make that with?!"

Hildi looked at him slightly offended "It's my moms old recipe… I think its great" she said and tooka bite of the eggs.

"…. are you serious?…. Whatever Hil, you didn't do anything weird to the bacon did you?"

"no, its just fried bacon"

"kay" Duo went and sat back down at the table and took a piece of the bacon and nibbled on it.

"So your not going to Quatre's?"

"No. going somewhere would just make me feel worse."

"they all miss you Duo, you know that this is the only time of the year everyone gets together."

"I know but I just don't feel like doing anything without Heero here." Duo finished off his bacon and got up to put the plate in the dishwasher.

Hildi sighed "there expecting me to be there tonight."

"ok, so are you leaving then?"

"its only 9 a.m. I'll hang around for a little bit, hey do you want to go see a movie or

something?"

"um sure I guess, what's playing?"

"don't know, we'll see when we get there. Now go get dressed and we'll go"

"ok give me 10 minutes" Duo went to his room to find something to wear. He pulled out a pair of black leather pants, a fishnet shirt and a black shirt with an anarchy symbol to go on top of it, and a belt with chains and loops hanging off of it. He looked under his bed and pulled out a pair of big boots with spikes on them and a box with spiked bracelets and black jelly bracelets. After he put all the stuff on he looked himself over in the mirror. "heh, not bad Duo." then he took his hair out and rebraided it. He then went out to see if Hildi was ready to go.

"wow Duo, I haven't seen you this dressed up since…. Well actually I've never seen you in this stuff before, you look very… um"

"Gothic?"

"erm yea I guess that's one way to put it"

Duo frowned. 'what does she mean "one way to put it"?'

"ok then I guess were ready to go!"

"yup, oh! Just one more thing I'll be right back!" Duo ran to the bathroom and a minute later came out with thick eyeliner on "ok all set"

Hildi raised an eyebrow but said nothing

~~at the theater~~

Duo was staring at the board that told what movies were playing "hmm I cant make up my mind. I want to see American Wedding but Lord of the Rings sounds good too…"

"well lets flip for it" Hildi pulled out a quarter and flipped it "heads American Wedding, tails Lord of the Rings" The coin landed on heads "American Wedding it is!"

"ok" Duo went up to the ticket counter thing. "Two tickets for American Wedding please." he smiled warmly at the guy behind the counter who gave him the tickets "thanks!" Duo handed a ticket to Hildi and went inside to get drinks and whatnot.

The guy behind the counter looked Duo up and down then smiled. Duo looked at him and smiled back, the guy was cute, he had a lot of piercing, and a tatoo on his left arm of a pentagram. His hair was blue and black and spiked very nicely. He wore a spiked collar and bracelets much like Duo's.

"hey there" the guy said to Duo

"hi"

"what can I get for ya?"

"umm…." Duo looked at the variety of candy in the little glass case "just give me… um one of everything. Oh and a large doctor pepper…. Please."

The guy and Hildi both looked at Duo wide eyed

"what?" Duo asked innocently

The guy chuckled and started getting what Duo requested

"jeez Duo…" Hildi mumbled

"what…. Im hungry."

The guy laughed again, "hey your kinda cute, whats your name?"

Duo looked at the guy "um Duo, Duo Maxwell"

"cool nice name, I like it, mine is Spence."

"well Spence, nice to meet you!" Duo held out his hand, and Spence shook it

"so are you gay by any chance?" Spence asked

Duo laughed "yeah as a matter of fact I am."

Spence smiled "that's cool, you know your really cute, are you taken?"

Duo looked at the floor "yea sort of"

"sort of?… well would you like to go out some time?"

Duo looked at Spence "hey your really cute but I cant, see I promised my boyfriend I would wait for him to get back from his … um trip and I'm still waiting so I'm very sorry but I cant."

Spence frowned "oh, well hey it was worth a shot"

Duo smiled "yea and again im sorry, your cute, well hey we better get in and get some good seats… maybe I'll see ya around"

"yea maybe, I'd to hang out or something, it's not very common to find another goth around here"

Duo smiled "heh I know what you mean, oh how much do I owe you?"

Spence smiled "its on me"

Duo raised an eyebrow "are you sure? that's a lot"

"yeah im sure, don't worry about it"

"um ok…. Thanks a lot Spence, I'll see ya!"

"ok Duo, nice meeting you"

"you too"

Duo and Hildi walked the room where there movie was playing and got seats in the back.

"that was interesting" Hildi said while she picked out what she wanted from Duo's candy pile

"heh, yeah it was" Duo took a drink of DP opened a box of chocolate covered raisins.

~~3 hours later in Duo's apartment~~

"see Duo, wasn't that fun?"

"yea, it actually was"

Hildi smiled, she was happy she got Duo's mind off the season for a few hours "welp hey Duo I have to get going, I still have to go out and buy gifts and stuff for Quatre's party."

"ok Hil"

"are you sure you don't want to come?"

Duo sighed "yes Hil, for the zillionth time, yes im sure"

"ok Duo, just checkin, I love you like a brother ya know"

"I know Hil" Duo gave Hildi a hug "well I guess I'll see ya later then"

"yea, I'll call you tomorrow or the next day or something kay?"

"ok"

Hildi left and Duo went and sat on the couch and sighed

Outside as Hildi was going to her car there was a clearing of a throat. Hildi jumped "who-who's there? I have a gun"

A figure came out from the shadows of the building "now Hildi, I think I can take you down, gun or not"

Hildi's eyes went twice there normal size "oh my god…. Heero?"

Excuse all mistakes my lazy ass didn't feel like checking.

Dun dun dun duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun roflmao!! Ha fucking ha! Cliff hanger biotch! Muhahahahahaha… ok sorry, and I know Christmas was erm….. Like 3 weeks ago or something and I was posed to have this posted BEFORE Christmas but I got busy and well forgot about it and I was searching through my files and found this and continued it….. And I will have more posted soon, but it will be the rest and I work on a lil then save and stop sooo I cant give a definite 'when' I will have the rest anywho I hope ya all had a nice Christmas, actually no I don't I could give a fuck less….. -_- I hate holidays.