Minerva McGonagall's Diary
An/-was just reading Bridget Jones for good knows what time and I thought...wouldn't it be cool if Minerva were a Bridget like character, yea it would so here you are Bridget Jones with a little changes and lots of magic...I give you Minerva McGonagall's Diary.
Disclaimer- J.K.R is my heroine and the Harry Potter series the best thing ever written in the history of popular culture. Also Helen fielding has written about my future life so I don't know if this should be a disclaimer ...but since she'd published it... a big hmph to her...kidding Helen, I love Bridget, she's awesome!
Dedication- This one is dedicated to my bestest best friend in the world-Ruch, I love you and because your no less a Bridget yourself.
Chapter 1
The beginning
December 31
Another year and as always I have to drag myself to mother's bloody old folks party, I mean shouldn't I, an eligible 28 year old wizagnamot legal advisor be going to some kind of fun young party or something...but cannot help it since it is party organised by one's sodding parents and one's parents sodding friends, where I have spent life's most embarrassing moments as my mother tries to fix me up with some random blokes, some which look even worse than Alastor Moody my Auror friend whose face is mostly pits and scars and Alastor's are actually war scars so I guess they attract women to some extent but he's engaged to my best friend Poppy so he better not cheat on some random girl. Nah- he would never cheat he loves her a lot. Hopefully!
Anyways, I reached the party fifty minutes late and got a few glares from some people I have never bloody seen in my life, but they act as if they know me as the unpunctual diva who walks in at whatever time she feels like. Diva my arse, haven't got a boyfriend since past three years, if was diva would have had a boyfriend to boss around, by the way wouldn't boss around boyfriend if get one because I'm not a diva.
"Minerva," says Mum, her normal hyper cheerio self and looks at me as if I'm wearing something offensively awful.
"Dear, what are you wearing? It's ghastly, go on I've laid something brilliant for you in your room...go on run upstairs" says Mum.
"Why, what's wrong with these?"I ask her, she smiles like I'm a two year old throwing a tantrum of some kind.
"Darling, you'll never get yourself a boyfriend dressed like that and I want you to meet someone later," she tells me as her party's co-hostess Magnolia Mitchells calls for her from the other room. Merlin, do I want one?
"Amanda, come see the turkey would you, oh hello Minnie when did you get here? Come on Amanda," says Magnolia and drags my mother away from me not giving me a chance to answer her question. Thank Merlin.
I have just seen the worst thing anyone could ever possibly wear and my mother thinks my normal robes were ghastly because as far as I knew, I was wearing a bloody carpet.
"My-little-Minnie," said Magnolia Mitchell's husband, Derek Mitchell
"Uncle Derek," I say in a fake way, not really my uncle someone I'm forced to call uncle as he gropes my ass and asks me the question dreaded by all single people both wizarding and muggle alike.
"So, how's your love life?" he asks as he pours me a drink and smiles.
"Super, Uncle D" I tell him smiling like a bloody porcelain doll, which I am absolutely not.
"Haven't got a bloke yet, eh?-" he says as all like can do is smile, I should have hexed him with my wand.
"You career girls-need to find someone Minnie-we're running out of time tick-tok -tick-tok" says Magnolia apparating from the kitchen next to her husband.
"Bollocks to you, just because you can run on the pin money your perv husband gives you doesn't mean I can too...you stupid, stupid cow," I tell Magnolia and the whole room looks at me aghast and I walk out of the party with my head held high. Maybe not, but that doesn't mean I didn't think it.
I walk up to my dad possibly the only sensible one in this room.
"Hello dad, how is it going?"I ask, he smiles
"I wish I was dead," he says kissing my cheek and then lighting a cigar for himself.
"Your mother is trying to set you up with some Divorcee Auror...pretty nasty beast apparently," says dad taking a drag from the cigar. OOO! Not bad, from the back! Ding dong!
"Minnie, Let's see if Albus fancies a nugget," says mum dragging me away from Dad as I see my last year's set up Brandon Houdini talking to my dad about something.
"Albus had a German wife, the little whore went and shagged someone else," says Magnolia walking with me and mum, trying to see where it would go between me and this Albus bloke.
I remember the other day when my mum had called me to ask whether or not I'd be able to make it or not, and of course I had to say yes.
"Do you remember Albus Dumbledore darling, Percival and Kendra Dumbledore's son?" Mum had said her head in the fireplace looking around my messed up flat.
"Umm...hmm..."I had sighed over my cereal bowl which obviously meant that I couldn't for the life of me remember or even know who these people were.
"Yes, well they are coming dear and I want you meet them...it's going to be marvellous darling, alright now I must go, bye-bye dear," she had said and then disconnected the floo. I hadn't even realised she was gone being so busy with my cereal that tasted like cardboard.
As I was walking towards him I noticed my heart beating faster, was this going to be the mysterious mister right? My mum called out to him and he turned and looked at us and he was wearing a green jumper with snowflakes on it, it was jinked to make the snowflakes fall every once in a while.
"Albus, you remember Minerva, she use to play naked in your pool," says Mum trying to remotely remind Albus of my existence.
"Not as such," he replies with a frown on his face.
"Come, Amanda...I think the desserts need to be checked upon," says Magnolia and by trick of communication takes my mother away so I can talk to Albus Dumbledore alone.
"Umm...so what do you do?" he asks me.
"I'm a legal advisor in the wizagnamont but actually work for Fisher's and Melie's," I reply as he nods, truthfully I hate my job especially because I have had absolutely no field work till now.
I didn't ask him for his bio-data, because I knew who he was...everybody in bloody England did, he was an Auror bloke who lead the war to the end of Grindelwald while we all sat on our arses and made merry...gosh you do one thing that helps the society and then every bloody kid on the street knows your name. Wouldn't know because society hasn't done anything for me as yet and so don't plan to do anything back for society either.
"So are you living with your parents for new year?"I ask him, trying to make small talk and he smiled.
"Yes, what about you?" he ask sipping his fire whiskey.
"Oh! No I have a flat back in London and I just came from a party at my friend Rolanda's house, still quiet hung over," I said I thought it'd look cool if he knew I was party person after all he must have been too...having had so many already in his honour, but he made a slight confused and disinterested face and cleared his throat.
"Yes, umm...perhaps it is time to... umm... eat," says Albus and then walks over to someone else to talk to like I was emitting some fatal gas, so it was best to leave me alone and let me die alone.
"Oh look...don't talk to her she's poisonous and neurotic,"
Bollocks I do not need man in life, because I'm perfectly happy already, or so as to think but I'm sure I do not need Albus Dumbledore with his ginger hair and bloody big headed fame in my love life. I'd rather live like I'm now with Rolanda and me as the single sisters since Poppy ditched us with engagement to Alastor Moody.
Conclusion of day: - Do not need fake celebrities in life since life already filled with dilemmas. Must buy new cereal possibly fruit loops. Fantasise of eating all Christmas sweets left in the freezer at home. Also fantasise about not becoming fat and dying alone and then being found ten days later eaten by boggarts and pixes.
AN/- hey, all the credits go to Helen fielding and J. so I haven't done much at all! Hope you like it...if you do maybe you could tell me by reviewing and telling me to write further if you want to read more of it.