Author's Note:

So, for those of you who loved Under The Mask; I'm back with another OOC Sanzo and Goku fic. This one is a little sadder, and more touching to the heart… So please read and review! Comments are greatly appreciated.

'It was a tale of love, life and maybe despair-,' that phrase that just came out of the television was what could probably be used to describe Sanzo's life at the moment. The blonde haired man sat on his tattered and torn red sofa, his fingers twitching as he felt the alcohol seep through his veins. The ashtray was full, and the floor in a mess. Beer cans were found everywhere and Sanzo hasn't shaved in almost a week. He can be in what you called a living hell.

He turned his head towards the little side table that he had, with a picture of Goku and him. It was one of the rare occasions that he smiled in a picture, with his arms around Goku; even if that was something he would never ever seem to do. Sanzo grabbed the picture and slammed it onto the ground, shattering the glass frame. With that, he started to weep into his hands.

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Flashback:

It was a rather windy winter night, but the moon could be fully viewed in the sky. It was one of the rare times that Sanzo had time to bring Goku out for a meal, and just as expected, Goku was beyond ecstatic.

"Sanzo, can we have beef stew for supper? Please? I beg of you!" Goku bugged and tugged onto Sanzo's shirt as they walked out of a restaurant after finishing their dinner.

Sanzo was used to all the bugging and persistence that Goku had in him by now, they've been together for almost four years, and it seemed that they would have got married by now. However, things were not always as pretty as it seems. He sighed and took out a cigarette by habit, lighting it up quickly and taking in a deep drag. Somehow, Sanzo always needed to smoke when he was dealing with Goku's eating habits.

"Goku, you just ate. Think about supper later." Sanzo tried to be as calm as he could and took another drag off his cigarette.

"BUT beef stew is yummy! And I haven't tasted your beef stew in ages, Sanzo! I want to, I want to, I want to!" Goku persisted like a little kid. He spoke so fast, too, that anyone would be annoyed.

Immediately out of nowhere, a paper fan appeared in Sanzo's hand and landed hard onto Goku's head. Somehow, Sanzo always had that paper fan hidden somewhere in his cloak, and Goku could never ever find it, even if he was folding up Sanzo's clothes. It was a mystery yet to be solved.

He rubbed his head and scrunched up his face the best he could. Goku wasn't about to give up without a fight, but usually when the paper fan was used, he knew Sanzo wasn't in a mood to take his persistence. This time, Goku simply kept quiet and nodded, giving the saddest face he could, hoping that Sanzo would change his mind.

"But I didn't say that I won't cook it for you afterwards…" Sanzo started and watched Goku's face light up as he said those words. He put an arm around Goku and adjusted his coat. "...Come on, let's go home. Stop giving that face already." He finished with a warm smile.

As Goku looked up at Sanzo, his eyes widened. Sanzo looked so beautiful as he stood amidst the snow slowly falling from the sky, wearing that light blue scarf that Goku picked out for him for Christmas. And this time, it seemed as if Sanzo's eyes were so filled with love. Somehow Goku's little daydream ended when Sanzo gave him a good tug on his arm, urging him to the car.

Sanzo unlocked his big, black BMW that he loved so much. Remembering how he worked so hard to be one of the top in his company, just to buy this car that he has always wanted. A man of so much ambition has got what he always wanted, a BMW car, a high post in the office, a penthouse and now, someone he loved.

That was one of the happiest days in Sanzo's life. He cooked for Goku the moment they got back into the house and made Goku say 'Thank you, Sanzo' three times before he could touch the food. Sanzo seemed like such a cold person outside, but with Goku, he was always smiling and feeling warm inside.

"Thank you, Sanzo." Goku said once more after eating. He clasped his hands together and stared at Sanzo with his big brown eyes.

"…I only told you to say it three times, idiot." Sanzo scolded as he took the plate away from Goku and dumped it in the sink.

"I know, but thank you again…" Goku answered and ran up to Sanzo, jumping onto his back.

"H-HEY..!" Sanzo yelled loudly as Goku's weight took him by surprise. He staggered for a bit before finally settling down.

"…What was that all about?" Sanzo asked and arched an eyebrow, a little frustrated already.

"Nothing, I just felt like hugging you." Goku replied as he wrapped his arms around Sanzo's neck and buried his face in Sanzo's back like a little boy.

Sanzo sighed and saying nothing, he walked into their bedroom which was painted dark blue, and sat on the bed with Goku finally falling off and laughing as he rolled onto the bed. Sanzo wasn't a person of many words, but he certainly knew how to appreciate a moment.

Goku wasn't one to stay quiet for long, and he quickly wrapped his arms around Sanzo's waist and pulled him down onto the bed as well. Sanzo simply pursed his lips and pretended to be annoyed as he creased his eyebrows together and folded his arms, sitting up again.

"Don't be so childish!" He chided and looked at Goku's laughing face.

"Aw, Sanzo… Don't you want to play?" Goku asked childishly and reached over to grab Sanzo's hand.

Without thinking, Sanzo took his hand away and slapped off Goku's harshly. Standing up, he simply walked into the toilet to wash his face, leaving Goku on the bed. His whole body froze, not being able to move, Goku simply stared at the direction where Sanzo left, his eyes wide open. The feeling was indescribable, with every part of Goku's body freezing with emotional pain; his eyes began to water.

"W-What's wrong?" Sanzo asked when he walked out of the toilet and saw Goku that way. It didn't take him long to figure out what he just did. "…Oh my god, I'm so sorry… Goku, I'm so sorry…" He apologized over and over again.

Sanzo rushed towards the bed and hugged Goku tightly, knowing how he slapped Goku's hand away was the same way Goku's parents did to him when they abandoned him at a deserted house and he tried to reach out for them. Sanzo knew, he knew how bad it hurt Goku, and even so, he did it, again. The first time it happened, Goku had a mental breakdown and Sanzo was helpless, and hurt, that he hurt Goku that way.

He held Goku's head close to his chest, hugging him tightly and apologizing over and over again. Within time, Goku's breath seemed to have stabilized and he could move again; he lifted his head up to stare at Sanzo, in the small pathetic way that he always did.

"S-Sanzo…" He murmured as he stared in Sanzo's eyes.

"I'm here, Goku… I'm here." Sanzo replied, his voice straining.

"Don't leave me… Don't leave me the way they did." Goku said with tears in his eyes.

"I won't; I will never leave you… And don't you ever leave me." Sanzo answered, his lip trembling.

"I won't leave you." Was all Goku said for the night as he rested in Sanzo's arms.

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Reviews are very much appreciated.