Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, and I don't really mind it all that much… Because if I had created Inuyasha, it probably wouldn't be all that interesting, knowing the ending and all. Plus I don't speak Japanese… So, you know...

Chapter One

Kagome stood a few paces off of the nearest path, head tilted slightly, half glaring at the sun and half at the little black speck in the horizon that was Kaede's village.

The others stared.

Inuyasha twitched. "Can we get going now?"

"No," Kagome sat down. Cross-legged. In the dirt.

The others blinked.

"What?" The hanyou crossed his arms.

"I'm thinking," Kagome breathed out after a moment.

"You're... thinking?" Inuyasha stated skeptically.

"Mmhmm."

"'Bout what, Kagome?" Shippou hobbled over to her.

The girl anachronism abruptly stood up. "It's a long story. We should get going. I'll tell you on the way," she started walking towards the path.

Everyone else let out a long suffering sigh.

"So what was it, Kagome?" Inuyasha shouted over his shoulder after a tense hour of silence, surprising everyone by actually caring.

"I can't tell you. It's too complicated and I'm afraid your head might violently combust if you tried to work it out."

Inuyasha stopped in front of her and glared. "Wha'd you say?"

Kagome continued to walk past him. "But you'd understand, Shippou," she gave him a motherly smile.

The kitsune grinned.

"It starts with the well," Kagome began.

"What about it?" Shippou asked.

"Who cares?"

"Shut up, Inuyasha. Anyway, the well is a portal back to feudal Japan, right?" Everyone nodded.

"A portal going back in time, such as this one, should technically bring you back to the same exact point in the past every time you use it and therefore cause no actually time passage to have occurred. This shows that the exact amount of time I'm traveling back to the past changes with every second."

Everyone just sort of stared at Kagome with a blank expression on their faces, except for Miroku, who was nodding his head in a sage-like manner, feigning comprehension and looking thoroughly concentrated. What a bluffer.

"Coming back to the 'future' should in turn cause me to come back to the exact point in time in which I had jumped through the well." She went on.

"No amount of time in the past could have possibly affected the time in the future since everything in the past has already been accounted for in said future."

Everybody continued staring.

"Likewise, Naraku doesn't exist in the future and therefore hasn't ruined the world, unless of course he was indirectly responsible for World War Two, Pearl Harbor, Hiroshima, Illegal drugs, and/or biochemical warfare. Therefore, our group of mixed and matched oddities of demons and humans and whatnot manage to save the world from everlasting destruction, total annihilation, ect, ect."

Insert more staring here. Inuyasha blinked.

"Now, knowing that it is impossible to change the future because everything in the past has already been accounted for, if I decided to leave - right now - and fill the well up with cement (assuming, of course, that the cement mixture doesn't travel through time, which could only happen if the cement mixture possessed a jewel fragment, in which case we'd have a lot more problems than just the well being sealed) everything would still be alright and wouldn't screw up everything that fate deemed worthy of happening.

Kagome took a deep breath and smiled. "My leaving would have already happened and in the great spiral of metaphysics would be inconsequential due to said statement of not being able to change the past. So if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go home, open up a box of Lucky Charms, lay down and watch House instead of remaining here and potentially killing myself.

"And from another standpoint. I am the main character, without me the plot could not greatly proceed, and therefore Feudal Japan would stay in a semi-state of limbo until I deemed it worthwhile to continue my suicidal quest."

"Hey! I'M the main character!" Inuyasha finally shouted.

"I'm sorry Inuyasha, but I really can't understand you when you mumble like that."

Dead silence.

"Don't worry everyone, I'm not leaving yet. I've still got a couple more paragraphs of pointless talking to go through."

Relieved sighs.

Kagome continued her rant. "Now, taking into account that the jewel shards were found in the twenty first century, we can safely assume that the shikon no tama was never completed. Consequently, neither our shard hunting group nor the gender confused Naraku ever found the last jewel shards, meaning that nothing of any importance happens concerning any of us. This means that Inuyasha never gets to make his wish and probably causes Naraku to die of internal hemorrhaging after listening to him cuss and grunt for several hours."

Inuyasha's face lit up with unconcealed anger (mostly because he didn't understand what she had said, and not understanding pisses him off); he opened his mouth to retort, but Kagome yet again beat him to it.

"Before you start to cuss me out, I have a little to say on the subject of Kikyo before I go home and sleep," Kagome resumed blabbing. "She may as well be prettier than me, but as I'm only fifteen and yet to have fully developed (and seeing as we lack a photo of Kikyo when she was my age it'd be an inaccurate judgement anyway) she's still stuck in this crappy little time period with no bathrooms. Which probably wouldn't affect her anywayconsidering she's dead and doesn't eat and therefore doesn't need to 'relieve' herself."

Inuyasha blinked. Miroku blinked. Sango yawned. Shippou hugged Kagome's foot.

"And it's fully beyond my comprehension how someone who wanders around Feudal Japan with no sunscreen manages to stay so damn pale," She added.

"Kagome-sama, that mayhap be because she's... well, dead." Miroku commented.

"Touche."

"Wait... Kikyo was pale she died too, wasn't she?" Sango glanced at Kagome.

"Well then, I guess she's just... special."

Pause.

"Anyway, I'm leaving now. Bye and good luck with your, uh, quest." Kagome picked up her yellow bag and proceeded to walk back in the direction they came from.

The other members of group sat in silence for a minute before Inuyasha realized what she was doing.

"Wait, Kagome! You can't go home yet! We have to find the rest of the jewel shards!"

Kagome stopped midstep. "Were you not listening to me talk for the last half hour? Is your attention span really that short?"

Inuyasha stared at Kagome. Blink, blink.

"I-I was listening to you! Wasn't I, guys?"

Silence.

"...Guys?"

End

Next chapter: Miroku cross examines Kagome's argument and Kagome decides she really does need a nap.

I'd really appreciate it if you'd review! Of course, you realize, there is no real plot here, but I have fun writing anyway, and I'm going to continue to do so with or without any reviews, but it's nice to hear from you if you liked it.