Chapter 1

Lightning painted the night sky as the storm raged outside Number 4 Privet drive. The scene was utterly dismal as torrents of seemingly endless rain cascaded from the sky obscuring the view through the window pane. This was of no concern to the young man as a different storm occupied his thoughts… a storm within himself.

"Damn it to hell!" He bellowed as the sound of glass breaking permeated the room. His piercing green eyes glared at the broken bottle which only served to stoke the fires of his rage, now he had no more alcohol. He sat seething on the floor as his thoughts drifted to the events of the previous year, his mood turned somber. "Sirius..." His voice was but a ragged whisper as the name escaped his lips. He couldn't bring himself to cry, he had shed so many tears that summer and he refused to shed another... never again.

When he had returned to Number 4 Privet drive, Little Whringing Surrey, for the summer he had been quite the sight. His eyes were dull and lifeless, his anger... explosive. Dudley had been the first to experience his foul disposition.

~Flashback~

He stormed into the room with a crash immediately grabbing the attention of the Dursleys. They had been sitting in the living room chatting heartily about trifles. They had failed to pick him up from Kings Cross causing him to fend for himself and Harry was seething.

"How dare you barge in here like that boy? I should ring your neck!" Roared Vernon as he glared, face red, at his nephew.

Harry glared, hollow eyes engulfed in rage as he pointed his wand at his uncle. "I should kill you." His voice was a deathly calm that chilled Vernon and Petunia, he promptly stifled his triad. They breathed a joint sigh of relief as he pocketed his wand satisfied. Dudley, however, was far too dense to take the hint.

"What's your problem freak? Walking is great for you!" he laughed loudly. He didn't catch the look of fear that crossed his parent's faces as Harry's eyes flashed dangerously. Without warning he was flung across the room crashing into the wall with a sickening thud, Harry hadn't so much as drawn his wand.

"DUDLEY-KINS!!!" Cried Petunia shrilly as she rushed to her son's aid Vernon fast on her heals.

"Can you hear me son! Speak to me!" cried Vernon as he tapped his young son's face in an attempt to revive him. He wheeled on Harry's former position only to see his retreating back advance slowly up the stairs dragging his trunk. The words died in his throat as he could sense the rage radiating off of the young wizard in waves. His anger was almost tangible. Even Vernon had sense enough to leave him be, turning back to tend to his son.

~End Flashback~

From that day on they had not so much as looked at him for fear of what he might do next. If Harry entered the room the Dursleys would leave immediately. This was fine by him; he had no use for them whatever. He smiled a weak smile that never reached his hollow green eyes as a snow white owl soared through his window. She shook the water off of her feathers before landing on Harry's outstretched arm.

"I'll have to go back soon." He said to Hedwig, she simply cooed her response. "I don't know if I'm ready to face... Well to face all those people staring." he sighed a long suffering sigh and she nipped his finger affectionately as if to say she understood. "Or see them... together..." He shut his eyes tightly as if to shield himself against the memory. It was almost too much to bear, but he couldn't stop the memory from surfacing in scathing detail.

~Memory~

He exited the train and scanned the platform for his two best friends. He had spent the train ride in a compartment of his own needing the time to think things over. He contemplated many things. He thought of his life, his god father... his feelings. Deep in thought he discovered something he had somehow missed before, his blossoming feelings for a certain bushy haired girl. He could hardly believe how glaringly obvious his developing feelings had been and was at a loss for why he had not noticed them before. Clearly the death of a loved one has a way of putting things into perspective, but what should he do with them? That was his current dilemma. Should he tell Hermione how he felt? If he did what would he possibly say, he had no idea what they were exactly. He scanned the crowded platform frantically eager to say goodbye to his friends before the summer. What he saw made his blood run cold. There was Hermione and Ron... locked in a passionate kiss. He could only stare blankly at the scene as students passed by as if not to notice. His heart broke shaking him to the core. He felt the warmth of a single tear run down his cheek as he reached up to touch it.

"Why am I crying?" His voice was barely a whisper. He tore his eyes from the scene and brushed past them unable to stand the scene any longer. They didn't even notice...

~ End Memory~

He growled at the memory fighting back the tears that threatened to well up in his eyes. They were the bitter tears of betrayal. He was at a loss as to why it hurt so much and he couldn't bare dwell on the question for fear of what the answer might be. Why explore the feelings any further when they clearly made no difference? No, he would bury them... He groped blindly at his nightstand only to remember that he had thrown the bottle against the wall. With a frustrated sigh he ripped open his drawer pulling out the bottle of muggle sleeping pills he had gotten from the drug store along with other OTC medicines he had become accustomed to abusing. He poured several into his palm and swallowed them with the glass of water by his mirror on his dresser. He stared up at his reflection and flinched. The reflection there was nothing like he remembered. He could hardly recognize himself.

"I hate you..." He whispered to his reflection before he turned dropping unceremoniously on the bed. He drifted in to a dreamless, drug induced slumber dreading the impending trip to Diagon Alley.

The sunlight shined effortlessly through the open window. The incessant beeping of an alarm clock tore through the small room, piercing its silence. Harry groaned loudly and hit the alarm shutting it off. He rose to a sitting position only to fall back down gripping his head, eyes shut tight against the splitting headache. He moaned as he grabbed the aspirin swallowing two pills to ease his suffering. He lay back down with a sigh and waited for the pain to subside.

"I hate this part..." He whined softly to himself. Though overdosing on sleeping pills gave him a dreamless sleep it also came with a drumming headache. "A small price to pay for some sleep... so I don't have to watch him die..."

He sat up on his bed, hair sticking in all directions, as he rummaged through his drawer for his 'morning pick me up'. He pulled the package of little red pills with tiny black C's printed on them from the drawer and popped out all eight pills. He downed all eight chasing them with a very flat soda and sighed. "I'm addicted... bloody hell." He commented dryly before tossing the empty package in the bin. He rummaged through another drawer and retrieved some clean cloths before heading into the bathroom for his morning ritual.

The sky was a clear blue, devoid of even the smallest wisp of a cloud. You wouldn't believe that a storm had raged maliciously just a few short hours prior. It was fairly early in the day, still morning by some standards, yet the streets were alive with movement. Young wizards and witches bustled about, gathering what they would need for the school year to come. The younger ones were escorted by their parents while those old enough to fend for themselves did just that. Amongst the clatter two lovers walked down the street touting bags and holding hands. The freckled red head stole a kiss from his bushy haired girlfriend. She smiled wide eagerly returning the kiss. Ron and Hermione had long since finished their shopping and were now roaming the streets of Diagon Alley enjoying each other's company. They had been unable to contact Harry to have him meet them there so they scanned the crowds hopeful that he would make an appearance.

"D-do you think he'll be ok with it?" Stuttered Hermione as she walked along side Ron.

"I have no idea... let's hope so." He replied plainly. She simply nodded as they walked through the crowded streets, such a peaceful morning.

The room had become unfocused as he struggled to put on his shoes. The drugs had begun to take effect and he found his balance slipping. Though he had taken them a dozen times, he still couldn't help laughing at the way his body reacted.

"How hard can it be to tie a lace?" He groaned as he once again failed to tie it. It appeared that the alcohol was reacting with the sleeping pills and 'core', the reaction was staggering. "At least this trip will be bearable. Not that I'll remember all of It." he laughed feebly, painfully aware of how pathetic that sounded. He groaned loudly once more as he clumsily tied his shoes. "There's no way I'm going to be able to hide this. Now everyone is going to know that 'the boy who lived' is a pathetic druggy. As if they didn't have enough to snicker about in the hallways and bathroom stalls." He commented ruefully as he gathered his money, both muggle and wizard, he would need for the trip. He clamored down the steps with all the grace of a drunken sailor as he struggled to gain control over his intoxicated state. Harry breezed by the kitchen completely devoid of an appetite, a side effect of the Coriciden. No one made a sound as he stormed out the front door shutting it with a loud bang.

The car pulled to a smooth stop as the young wizard exited the back. He had gained control of his faculties but his vision was still swimming. He wore black shades to cover his eyes, the only thing betraying his cool facade. Harry clutched the school letter awkwardly as he attempted to read the list of school supplies. He stood off to the side next to a shop trying to ignore the pointed stares of passerby's.

"Take a bloody picture... tart." He growled quietly under his breath as a first year stared openly at him with her big blue eyes. A harsh whisper and eager tug from her mother was enough to move her along. Harry gave a hollow chuckle before glancing back at the list. He absentmindedly pulled up his hood to cover his face as he read. "Introduction to Advanced Potions Level Six." He read aloud before heading off to find it.

The bushy haired brunette chuckled as she slurped her ice cream. Ron and Hermione had taken a moment to rest their feet so they decided to get a treat.

"Ron, you're such a prat!" she laughed.

"What? I can't help it looks like that upside down!" he croaked back as he lovingly pulled her closer. Hermione nestled into his arms with a sigh as they sat in the booth near the window.

"Whatever, Ron." she said idly as she glanced out the window. She watched as people passed the window with little interest. That is, until she saw Harry. She sat upright quickly. "That's Harry!" she cried as she caught a glimpse of a hooded Harry Potter. Ron whirled around to get a look, but by the time he looked Harry was gone. "Come on Ron we need to catch up!" With that she hurried out with Ron in tow.

Within a few strides they were upon him. "Harry sto—"Hermione stopped abruptly and her eyes went cross as she stared at Harry's wand inches from her nose. She worked hard to stifle her panic with the looks of utter hatred plastered on his face. "Harry It's me!"

Harry's expression melted into one of indifference as he slowly lowered his wand. "Oh, sorry about that Hermione."

"Bloody hell Harry! Are you barking mad!! Since when do you draw your wand on people like that?" cried an outraged Ron. He was obviously angry at seeing Harry threaten his girlfriend. "You could kill somebody!"

"That's my destiny right… prophecy." growled Harry before he turned sharply throwing up his hood and stormed off.

"He's mental." Ron says in disgust.

"He's talking about the prophecy Ron! Neither can live while the other exists. Honestly you are such an insensitive prat!" cried Hermione before she stomped back toward the shop with a tight lipped Ron close on her heels.

As the sunlight dipped below the horizon a solemn young man plopped unceremoniously on his bed. Harry had returned from his long day of shopping and sat staring blankly at his open trunk. He gave a long suffering sigh and began the tedious process of cleaning it out. He'd have to get on that train tomorrow… He tossed out old quills and scrapes of parchment before loading in his new supplies and cloths. After he had loaded the trunk he looked back to his drawer. He slid it open and considered whether or not he should risk it. His eyes glanced over the Coriciden and his stomach turned. The mere sight of the little red pills was enough to make him sick.

"I think I'll pass on those. " He said with mild disgust as he tossed the remaining pack in the trash. He then looked at the various sleeping pills with a calculating gaze. "I could always use a sleeping potion…" He shook his head and gathered the bottles slipping them into the bottom of his trunk. He settled back into his bed and waited for Hedwig to make her return.

Suddenly there was an insistent tapping at his window. He looked up to find a large black owl standing pointedly on his window lattice. It stared impatiently at his reluctance and held out its leg for emphasis. Harry moved quickly over to the open window and removed the bird's load. As soon as it was free it took off without so much as a glance in his direction. Harry let his eyes graze over the letter and small parcel he now how held in his grasp. He tossed the parcel onto his bed and examined the letter. It was addressed to: Mr. Harry James Potter. Number 4 Privet Drive Little Whinging, Surrey the smallest bedroom on the top floor. He turned it over to observe the Ministry Of Magic seal. Intrigued he opened it.

Dear Mr. Potter

We are terribly sorry for the loss of your God father Sirius Black. We here at the Department Of Wizarding Affairs are charged with the duty to carry out the last wishes of those in the wizarding community. His last will in testament reads as follows. "In the event of my passing I bequeath my estates as well as the contents of both my personal vault and the black family vault to my sole heir Harry James Potter. May he use them in good conscious and faith." You will of course be required to fill out the attached paper work to complete the transference of his assets and send them by owl to the Department Of Wizarding Affairs, but you may of course do so at your leisure. There is also a parcel charmed for your eyes only. We again apologize for your loss.

Martha Doust

Department Of Wizarding Affairs

Harry could only stare blankly at the letter. He hadn't given any thought to what would become of Sirius's estate. Of course it made sense. Who else would he give it to? He read over the letter again and paused. Estates, he thought to himself. There's more besides Number 12 Grimuald Place? The thought thrilled him and terrified him at the same time. What else did he not know? He stared at the parcel on his bed almost afraid to open it. With much hesitation he picked up the parcel and tore it open. Inside was a small box and an envelope addressed to him… it was Sirius's hand writing. He felt chills shoot through him as his hand slid over its surface. Then he slowly opened it.

Harry

If you are reading this I have no doubt perished and I am sorry I couldn't stay and protect you. There was so much I wanted to teach you about your parents. If I failed in this I'm sorry. I have given you everything, but I'm sure it means nothing to you. You are so much like James but never forget you are yourself, Harry. By now I'm sure you've noticed that I have given you two estates. Number 12 Slipnot Row, it's in Godric Hollow and it too is protected with the Fididelous Charm. You are now the sole secret keeper. I had meant for it to be our home Harry where we would live as a family but enjoy it all the same. I love you Harry, remember that. You are a great wizard Harry, whether you realize it or not.

Love,

Sirus

Harry could hardly think as he stood transfixed. He barely registered the rattling of the letter in his shaking hand as his mind worked furiously to comprehend all he had just read. He flopped on the floor and stared, eyes unfocused, at the wall. He barely noticed Hedwig soaring through the window or the letter she held baring Hermione's name.