DISCLAIMER: I have no claim to Yu-Gi-Oh! or it's characters and I make no profit from this. This is purely fanmade.
The lyrics are not by me, and are owned by their respective authors.
This is based off of the song Heart's A Mess by Gotye.
This is a prideshipping (Yami Yugi x Seto) oneshot.
Contains yaoi (ie - boyxboy) though the one scene of sex is entirely implied.
Okay, thanks! Feel free to comment/review!
- zlae.
Hands reach towards him, he turns away. They slip and they fumble, desperately searching for a hold.
No closure is given; no assurance that he wasn't completely broken.
He smiles, (another sign of insanity? Perhaps.) He is to never let down his walls, never to give what they seek so badly.
His heart was his own, he would command it.
None could possess this icy brunette; none will be allowed to peel him, revealing what lied beneath his deceptive exterior.
So how had he let this frustrating man get under his skin?
"Seto," Yami whispered, concern hidden beneath his (supposedly) indifferent exterior. The slumped brunette turned, for once at a loss.
"What?" He snapped, his voice holding no fury, no sadness; no emotion whatsoever.
"Let your walls down; let me in," He almost pleaded, his pride the only thing restricting him.
To others, Seto would appear stoic and introverted, but Yami knew he was hiding within his mind, occupied by unwanted thoughts.
And he was going to break in.
He would become an intruder to Seto's mind that was already taken by a different perspective of him.
"There's nothing to let you in to," Seto whispered to himself, turning away from the (once again) victorious male.
Seto slouched at his laptop, sitting in his excessively bare study, his mind preoccupied by his ever-turning mind.
His hands typed, he didn't register what he was typing:
'Let me in
Where only your thoughts have been
Let me occupy your mind
As you do mine.'
He snorted, a noise disguising the sudden discomfort he felt.
His long fingers reached for the backspace button; erasing and removing what was left, even as the words that formed his work were disappearing.
He continued pressing the button that could erase anything, wishing desperately he could frantically erase his mind, his heart; these unwelcome feelings.
"Doesn't he realise he's just prolonging his inevitable demise?" Yami said aloud, his mind staring into the light on the ceiling, uncaring as black dots penetrated his unwavering vision.
"Y-Yami?" Yugi whispered within his mind, not wanting to disrupt Yami's thoughts, but doing so anyway.
"What do you want, Yugi?" Yami snapped, so unlike himself that Yugi flinched.
"Perhaps…" He gulped, unknowing as to how he could phrase the sentence he so desperately wished to share.
"Perhaps he had been broken in the past, and no one had helped him gather the p-pieces," Yugi whispered, curling his ethereal body within itself and shutting his violet eyes to the scene shown to him.
He didn't see the shock in Yami's now-seeing eyes, nor did he see the sudden stiffness of his limbs.
He would not look; he could not watch Yami crumble in front of him, for fear that he would slip through his fingers like individual grains of sand.
His mind was unravelling.
That was only thing that Seto could think of.
How else would the usually confident, self-assured man known as Yami be able to creep into his thoughts?
Seto's trembling fingers reached for the pills and he gulped them dry, revelling in the feeling of the burn down his throat. He couldn't even think straight.
He was a mess; it was absolutely pathetic.
He was like a corpse of himself, with skeletal limbs and unfocused eyes. Everything would be a blur, unregistered and unimportant, until his clouded eyes would rest upon the black silhouette of Yami.
He must be going mad; to think that any good could become of this.
His twitching fingers gripped his unusually dry hair, and he pulled at it. He pulled and pulled, feeling the pain in his scalp again and again, watching as brown hair floated down to the ground.
It was as if he was trying to reach into his mind, to tear at it and extinguish these thoughts.
"What's he so afraid of?" Yami mumbled to himself, his mind unable to waver from the last image of Seto he had seen; slumped and defeated, his limbs long and too skinny, his eyes unfocused and chilly, representing what lay beneath his pale skin.
"Intimacy? Trus-"
"Please just trust me, Seto!" Mokuba wailed, looking at the defeated form that was his brother.
It was so uncharacteristic, so unusual, so frightening.
"Seto Kaiba, I demand that you look at me; your brother!" He pleaded, his hands clutching the white, torn jacket his brother had wrapped around his skeletal frame.
Seto's eyes remained downcast, until one word echoed within his mind, so unlike the man known as Yami (that usually plagued his thoughts) that he looked.
Kaiba, Kaiba, Kaib-
"That's right son, you'll be a Kaiba forever." The face of Gozaburo Kaiba looked back at him, victorious in their battle of glares.
"I'm nothing like you," a younger Seto whispered, defiance in his eyes, his posture.
Only his voice wavered.
"Nothing," he whispered again.
"I'm nothing!" He screamed, his hands not his own, clutching his suddenly dirty skin, tearing at it and trying to wear someone else's.
"I'm not like you," he chanted to himself, his voice becoming more like a whisper each time.
"You're everything like me, son," Gozaburo Kaiba seethed, his voice coated in malice. He said the last word with something akin to disgust in his tone, and Seto couldn't help but shiver.
"You'll be a Kaiba forever, never knowing the comforts of love or reassurance," he continued to whisper, a smile coating his face as tears ran down Seto's cheeks.
"Just. Like. Me." He said, eyes watching the shaking figure.
"No one will be able to love you, you'll never be normal," he yelled, his cheeks reddening and his voice becoming louder.
"No, no, no!" Seto wailed, holding his hands over his ears.
Gozaburo began pacing, stroking his bearded chin as if in thought.
"You'll be frigid, cold; easy to snap and never able to warm up," he said through a smile.
"NO!" Seto screamed, tearing at his ears, not wanting to hear anything.
"B-brother?" Mokuba whispered, looking down at the Seto Kaiba that had fallen to the ground, hands clamped over his ears and tears trickling down his cheeks.
Seto rocked back and forth, his eyes open and staring into nothing.
"I'm not him; I'm my own person," Seto whispered repeatedly, his lips trembling and his eyes stinging.
Hesitant arms wrapped around his too-cold chest, and he didn't look up.
He just wrapped his long arms around the body, desperately trying to steal some warmth.
"What happened to you?" Yami whispered, his eyes trailing the malnourished stature that formed Seto.
"You happened," Seto whispered back, turning his back on the one person that cared.
"You…" Seto paused mid-stride, his mind racing.
"You!" He yelled, turning back around and running towards the man that had made him deteriorate into this self-conscious mess.
"You did this to me! If I didn't meet you, I wouldn't be plagued by… by this… these… thoughts!" He yelled, his voice unsure and his hands making helpless gestures.
"What are you talking about?" Yami whispered to the fuming male, his hands clenched into fists at his sides, his eyes filled with heat and his face inches from Seto's.
"I don't know!" Seto yelled, so unfamiliar with the feelings coursing through his body.
"I. Don't. Know." He repeated, all previous passion seeping out of him like blood through wounds.
Yami opened his mouth to speak, and Seto just turned around and left.
He would not listen.
He could not hear what he already feared.
"Why is he so difficult? Why can't he just tell me how he feels?" Yami yelled to no one, his hands cracking his knuckles to prevent himself from running to Seto's mansion just to punch it out of him.
"Why don't you just try asking him?" A voice in his mind whispered.
Yami froze.
Could it really be that simple? Could he just demand to know why Seto was acting so unlike himself? Would Seto even answer?
"There's only one way to find out," the voice whispered, and Yami made up his mind.
He was going to break into Seto's reverie.
And he wasn't going to leave without an answer.
Yami took a deep breath, facing the man that had been so strange for the past month.
"Was your… your desire to beat me…" Yami froze, his tongue unable to form the sentence.
He prepared himself.
"Was it ever fuelled by a different source than anger and hate?" Yami asked, closing his eyes just before Seto's whole body stiffened.
"No." Seto replied, his voice flat and his steps echoing throughout the mostly empty room. He now stood directly in front of Yami, his icy-blue eyes staring at Yami's violet ones, but not really seeing him.
"There is nothing," he seethed, "absolutely nothing, that I have hated more than you at this exact moment."
Seto looked; he finally saw him.
Then he forced his lips on the man he hated more than anything, punching and bruising skin just before his thin lips trailed over them.
Yami woke, a bony arm belonging to Seto wrapped around his naked torso.
He remembered.
He remembered everything.
His eyes frantically looked towards Seto, seeing a grimace on the lips that had trailed over Yami's body. He shivered.
He shifted his aching body and gently unwrapped Seto's arm from across him.
It looked like the first time Seto had slept in months; he was out cold.
Yami didn't even get his clothes, and the thought didn't even occur to him.
He just walked onto streets, naked and bruised, walking until blisters adorned the hardening bottoms of his feet.
He didn't allow himself to think.
He just felt the pain.
And for some reason, that reassured him more than any words could.
"Yami!" Yelled a surprised Yugi from within his mind. He had been blocked out during Yami's and Seto's encounter, but for reasons he hadn't anticipated.
"What happened to you?" He questioned inquisitively, his eyes suspicious and trailing the many bruises running along Yami's pale skin.
Yami paused.
"Seto happened to me," he said, his voice soft and mind empty.