Chapter 1- Mirror

Looking in front of that mirror is something that I always dislike, not because I am afraid that something will come out of it but because I hate looking at myself. Since I was a child, everyone mistreated me, called me names, and hurt me until I never trust others nor dare to make friends with them.

That change when I met him, Inuyasha. He's also different. He's a hanyou, driven away from both sides and never belong. He's brash, stupid, and childish. He insults me like others, but I knew that he couldn't mean it; because sadness reflected in that sorrowful eyes of his.

At one time I thought that he's the one, but his actions towards me was more of annoying brother than lover, so we decided forget about it and stay as friends.

And in our journey together, we found other people that we came to consider as friends. Shippo, a kitsune youkai who searched revenge on the Thunder brothers but accidentally put me on the hands of the younger brother who wanted to appear as someone that was sought after like his aniki. Shippo became my adopted son, and I love him as if I was his true mother. Even Inuyasha was sometimes amazed that I could welcome a youkai just like that when most human, more when they are miko, will kill them.

And there was Miroku, a perverted monk who swindles his way to a free necessities that a person require in every day life every time he approaches a small village. We met him because we have the same foe that we must defeat, and his reason is to stop the wind tunnel in his right hand from swallowing all of him.

Sango came with the group also but with a reluctance that leads to the foe controlling her much the same as her brother who was controlled to kill the demon slayers, his father and those people who he grew up with. And then he died, but he lived again through the borrowed power of a tainted shard of the shikon no tama. Sango, then, came with us to kill our foe and be with her brother once more.

More changes happen around me when I've met Inuyasha's older half-brother, Sesshoumaru. A full - blooded youkai. He is aristocratic, beautiful, and elegant. Standing beside him made me feel like I'm of common people, and maybe I am because he is also the Lord of the Western Lands.

The paradox surrounding the great inuyoukai is that he spouts hating humans, but he took in a girl with human blood in his care. When another youkai will say that the killing perfection would never do that, seeing her trailing behind him will confute their assumption.

When I met him, he was riding a giant oni and trying to kill his half-brother and me. And then, he almost killed me with his poison whip when I surprisingly extracted his precious sword from his father's tomb, and that really pisses her off because it's not even meant to be his.

I mentioned this particular youkai because he and his entourage decided to collaborate with our own. The reason was not clear, but I knew that I regretted welcoming him and his annoying toad retainer who squawk all the time with his equally annoying voice.

The only well-appreciated is the sweet human that is with them. Rin is every bit of an angel I ever saw, and I always wondered how she met and stayed with Sesshoumaru, an ice block, for so long.

My fascination on Sesshoumaru grew without even my own knowledge. I sometimes caught myself staring at him or thinking of him, and I blush every time. I knew he knew what I am doing, or I feel that he knew, and sometimes I am embarrass.

Inuyasha knew me too well that he confronted me when I decided to return to my era to get supplies and attend school. I was so upset, and he was difficult. We had a fight, and he returned to the past. He came back with a guilty eyes, and we talked about my feelings for his 'bastard' brother. Inuyasha was not cool with it, but he wanted me to be happy, so he supported me although silently.

When Sesshoumaru dropped a very harsh, insulting words to me, Inuyasha would defend me with cursing and daring his brother to fight. It will lead to me sitting him, and him face flat on the ground. Shippo would laugh along with Rin, Miroku would shake his head, and Sango would say something mean while Jaken would talk with his annoying screeching. Sesshoumaru would look at me though with his cold eyes that always seems to be berating me or mocking me. And although it hurts, I will meet them because that is right. I just hope he would not see my feelings in my eyes.

She's an enigma. From the moment I met her until I joined my half-brother 's group. She broke free from the illusion of the fake mother; she extracted his father's sword, a feat he couldn't do himself; then she adopted a youkai child as her own. I never believe I would met someone like her, so pure in soul and in body. I hated my brother for having her.

But we have one common enemy, and I decided to use this to my advantage by proposing a joined group together, and as the alpha I have known her to be, she made the decision to agree but wait for the others' s opinion also- a quality of a true leader who asks his advisers first before making a trustworthy decisions by considering their opinions, and the upside and downside of it.

She is also the provider of the group, another quality of an alpha. She brings necessities from her era that was greatly appreciated by me and the rest of the group. I've watched my ward and her son eat those chocolates that she brings back sometimes. Oh the sweet smell, how I live to taste them, but she said that it is not for dogs which is a bit insulting because although he was a dog he was in his humanoid form.

But she informed me that she gave one to Inuyasha before, and he throws up, to his utter embarrassment . So although I love to have chocolates, it was forbidden from me.

My feelings toward this strange girl changes, but my fear of being compared to my father was too high, and I couldn't just forget that he died because of his human wife and his hanyou son. I would not like a weakness such as the girl, the invidious feeling will one day be my downfall.

And so I hurt her with words, clawing at her heart, shattering it and breaking it to pieces. I would love to take back every insult that comes from my mouth because I also feel my heart breaks whenever I see her pained eyes.

Inuyasha came to me one day, and for once, his face is blank and watching. He told me about her past before meeting my brother. The insults and mistreatment she receives from her playmates in her era. The degrading account of her battered childhood, and without a father to defend her also. And I knew. I knew that instant I made a mistake I couldn't just say sorry for, although I have never use such words in my entire life.

I approached her slowly, courting her and showering her with my affections. Through my actions, I showed that three little words that I couldn't even mention to myself. But all of it seems to be going down on a drain, so I consult my brother reluctantly, and I was surprised when he told me that me was waiting for me to say something. So I told him my concerns, and he told me that someone as naive as her needs to hear the words.

And I went to her, flowers from Rin in my hand.

And I saw him coming to me with a flower in his hand.

I stopped a few feet from her, glancing nervously at her (something I have never felt before).

And he stopped a few feet from me. I glanced warily at him, thinking that he might say something insulting again. Even with the changes I found in him for the past week or so, I was not still comfortable with it.

Then I approached her slowly again and glanced straight through her eyes. I held out the flowers in front of her.

He walked towards me again, and I happened to meet his eyes. I saw something in there that made me pause. And then I saw the flowers in front of me, almost wilting and dry. "What are these for?" I asked.

I dropped my hands behind me, looking unsure, an unlikely behavior coming from me. "This Sesshoumaru have decided to court you, Kagome."

"And your reason?" My eyes sparkles with happiness and welling tears. If the reason is what I want to hear, then...

"I have loved you, Kagome," I said, my eyes holding hers. I saw her answer through it. It mirrors all the feeling she has for me, even the bad ones. And I know that this is not weakness as I have first thought. No. This is my strength. She gives me my strength because she is the reason why I lived, and someone I have to become strong for.

"I love you too."