So I wanted to do a take on Cana's emotional state before the S-Class trials took place.
Enjoy xo
Soundtrack: Broods - Mother and Father
Cana had never felt more alone in this unfamiliar city. She needed to be surrounded by people and drowning in booze immediately. With the sun's few remaining rays warming her back, Cana strolled along until she came across a bar.
Finally.
Relief flooded through her as she let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding. It didn't look like much, but it had to be better than staying alone in her hotel room. Right?
Cana threw back her shoulders and strutted in. After taking a seat at the far end of the bar she locked eyes with the bartender. He approached her with a towel and mug in hand.
"What can I get you love?" he inquired while drying the glass.
Cana put on a charming smile, "Surprise me, but not my wallet."
"Sure thing."
Her smile faded from her eyes once he left to fulfill her order. Cana spun around on her stool. Tacky wall decorations, a body passed out in the corner, snippets of conversations, and a couple of patrons scattered around the bar whirled by her. Once complete, she was greeted by a tall mug of liquid amber. Cana smiled as if she had just run into an old friend. She reached forward, cradled the drink in her hands and raised the glass to her waiting lips.
Not bad, but...
A slight frown touched her face. The beer didn't help as much as she had hoped. Her thoughts continued their assault. Even after many more she still made no progress in stopping them. With a defeated sigh Cana allowed her thoughts to rush over her as the bar slowly filled out around her.
Life was feeling monotonous. She'd wake up alone, head to the guild and drink the day away while chatting with friends, or complete a couple of jobs here and there. There was nothing wrong with all of that, but it was lacking something and Cana was sick of feeling just fine.
She wanted more.
What would mom think? Are you proud of me mom? Would he be proud of me?
She laughed bitterly.
Why would he care? He doesn't even know.
The plan was to tell him once she achieved S-Class, but so far that wasn't working out too well. She had come close so many times but could never grasp it.
I don't deserve to be S-Class and I most definitely don't deserve his attention.
Thoughts of Lucy's concern interrupted her brooding. Lucy would probably berate her for thinking this way. The blonde mage just about had a heart attack when she told her she wanted to leave the guild. The other girl's devotion was heartwarming. Cana couldn't help but feel a bit hopeful. Yet, there was still some apprehension. To feel such embarrassment and disappointment was crushing. It would be too much to feel it once again. This would be her final attempt.