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Bold-Earle Grey Cheese
Normal-Gillyweedrules
The Fan Fiction whose name has not yet been decided
The year was 1930, and the sun was just beginning to creep up over the large hill that obscured any chance of a view that it's owners might have had.
Harry Potter was awakening from his restless night of sleep. He sat up and wiped the sleep out of his eyes.
"Hi Harry." said the random Mary Sue whose name was Tricki Woo.
"I'm a dog and I'm your biggest fan."
"Ummm….hi; what are you all doing here?"
"Eating banana sandwhiches." quipped the Bem helpfully
"Eat, you'll feel better." said Harry helpfully.
"Yeah," said Ginny from nowhere.
"Have a B-A-N-A-N-A-S sandwhich."
"The shit is bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S!"
"He's right you know!" said Hedwig taping his nose thoughtfully.
Hedwig had (as you all by now must know) had had her sex change.
"Hedwig!" shrieked Harry.
"How could you!"
"Sorry, lost control of the trolley." said Hedwig bowing his head in shame.
"Why you little!" said Harry, and murdered Hedwig on the spot.
Far away, the Dursleys were sitting in a tea shop drinking beer. By now Vernon was so drunk; he was standing on the table and singing 'Mary had a Little Lamb'.
"Hem, hem." said Tricki Woo, who was very pissed off at not being
mentioned enough thus far…Little did he know.
All of a sudden Draco Malfoy turned up on the spot and proposed to poor old Tricki Woo.
And they lived happily ever after as the world's first 'Boy and Dog gay relationship'
Back to the story. Dumbledore was sitting in his office smiling to herself and thinking about all those times when he and Harry used to prance around in the daisy fields, getting high and some strange magical substance.
"That was the story" co-author shakes head in disbelief.
"In which case, THE END!"
"Why the hell would you want to end the story there?" exclaimed Harry in disbelief. "We haven't even gotten to the part where I kill Emma Watson!"
"That, you little dumb assed bitch would be in the next chapter."
Chapter Two:
It was their second year of Hogwarts and Harry was up to the part where he was about to kill Tom Riddle when there was a knock on the door.
"Who is it?" squealed Harry in that really high voice he uses in the first movie.
"It's ME." said Dimity
"I'm going for a swim, before you two come up with any more ways to get us killed, or worse, MOONED BY THE SNITCH.!"
"Oh all right then. We will do this somewhere else more private" said Harry.
"Private, with you?" asked Dumbledore.
"Hey I just realized something." said Draco.
"In the life-sized poster of The Prisoner of Azkaban, Weasley looks like he's wearing an ugly fur Boa."
They were all beginning to wonder themselves about the poster when Emma Watson walked into the room. "Did anyone order some dounuts?" she asked.
"Oh that would be me." said Draco. "Have they got pink icing?" Malfoy asked.
"Just how you like them."
"Hey! Your Emma Watson." exclaimed Harry. "I'm meant to kill you now." And he killed her.
"I think I'll throw a party to celebrate!" exclaimed Harry then he began to sing : "The Shit is Bananas." (excreta)
THE END.
But it was not the end, Death, is only the beginning.
Harry was back in the graveyard with Voldy and his pals when a sudden idea struck him.
"Fight for me." he said in a bold voice.
"Fight for me and I will hold your oaths fulfilled."
"OK." said the Death Eaters, and they turned on Voldy, who had time only to mutter "What the Hell?" before he was hit by a hundred Avada Kedavra curses.
THE END!