Baby Mama Sanji
Dedicated: This crossover parody story is a tribute to all the mothers of the world. Mothers are the women who have made us the fine adults of the future. It's mothers that make us feel unique and helps us shine like the stars at night. They comfort us when we are downtrodden, they support us when we are discouraged.
In this fan fiction, Sanji will be introduced in his obscene role as woman. Sanji's styles, sensitivity towards women, and chivalry takes us through a beautiful and comical journey from pregnancy to childbirth. I would also like to urge you to consider Zoro and Sanji for "Best Yaoi Couple" as you read their connection for each other as it grows stronger than any Marine vessel.
Finally, may god bless you, mothers everywhere in the world.
Our Story opens on the Going Merry in misty shores of London, Luffy and his crewmates were getting some rest before they begin sight seeing. Chopper was in the crowsnest wrapped in a nice, warm blanket and was like the other, happily sleeping dreaming of the sights they shall soon behold. Sanji and Zoro were nessled together in a blanket after having an outstanding performance of midnight sex. Sanji was sleeping soundly dreaming of british girls to flirt with...when suddenly-
'ugh...what the hell...why does my stomach hurt' he thought, rubbing his stomach.
At first it was a slight pain so he didn't really worry about it to much. It wasn't long before his pains really started piling up, his stomach started to roar like an angry storm.
"OH! DEAR GOD! IT HURTS!" He yelled with much discomfort.
Surprisingly, none of the others were disturbed by his outbursts. Sanji quickly climbed up to the deck but only to fall to his knees by the searing pain in his belly. Little did he know that Nami woke up by the suddenly thud. She saw the love cook groaning in pain.
'What's wrong with Sanji? Did he eat something bad? Maybe it's just sea sickness?' wondered the navigator.
Soon the blonde cook heard his stomach growl louder which was a sign that he was about to throw-up. He then crawled towards the bathroom and slams the door. This was Nami's chance to see listen in on what was going on. Soon she heard the poor cook vomiting, the navigator turned pale as she listened into the door. She didn't think Sanji would get sick but in the Grand-line, anything can happen. As soon as she heard the door open, Nami backed away and hid behind the mast. Sanji soon came out looking horribly ill, wobbling and quivering.
"Ugh, my stomach hurts... Morning, Nami~swan!" He said after changing his groggy tone.
"Are you okay, Sanji-kun?" she asked in fright.
"Of course, my darling. I just have an upset stomach, that's all." the cook replied.
After the short conversation, he went back down to the men's quarters to get some more sleep but it seemed impossible. The pains in his belly were too much to bare. He started moaning louder and louder, tossing and turning all over the floor andrubbing up against Zoro.
'What the hell's wrong with this idiot?" the marimo thought but he started to ignore him.
Sanji's pains then got sharper, one shock of pain made him kick the moss-haired swordsman right in his face. Zoro soon screamed in pain causing the whole crew to wake up. Luffy and Usopp fell out bed, Chopper sprang right up, and Nami climbed down to see what was the matter.
"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU KICK ME FOR, YOU DARTBOARD BASTARD!"
Zoro started to go for one of his swords and was about to strike until Nami clocked him one in the head, Soon everything starts to hit the fan. Meanwhile above, Marcy Ann (aka Lunar Sapphire) and the crystal gems warped aboard the ship. They had brought over Connie for a nice big British breakfast.
"Good Morning, Miss Sapphire," greeted Robin still in her book.
"Good Morning to you too, Nico Robin," Sapphire replied back holding her groceries.
As she went off to the galley, she noticed a lot of noise going on below the ship. So she climbed down to check out all the commotion. She looked down into the men's quarters only to find Nami holding back Zoro from the blonde cook.
"Hey what's going on down here?" she hollered.
"Sanji and Zoro were about to start a fight," Luffy said, being half asleep.
"That's natural, but why is Nami butting in? A lady shouldn't fight with boys, only rude bitches," she said giving a smirk.
"Only because Sanji's sick," Nami explained.
"Really, at nine in the morning?" Marcy questioned.
After sudden realization, Marcy started looking through her backpack and found her mother's medical encyclopedia (she borrowed it in case of injuries). She then began streaming through the "P's" section and found the word she was looking for.
"Sanji, can I ask you some questions?" ask Marcy.
"Sure, what's wrong?" replied Sanji.
"1) Do you have any weird cravings what so ever?"
"I do sorta want some frozen yogurt mixed with garlic bread with a cheese topping," Sanji answered.
"2) Have you been getting a feeling that your about to vomit?"
"I've have been throwing-up a lot lately." the love cook replied.
After 20 minutes of asking questions, Marcy had finally came to a conclusion which lead to a serious conference.
"Everyone, I'd like to thank you for gathering in the galley for this important discussion. After undergoing some research, I've discovered that...Sanji's... gonna be a mommy,"explained Marcy.
Everything was silent for a minute. Everyone was in complete befuddled and came bursts of emotions flowing in the atmosphere.
Pearl started screaming into pillows like school girls while Sanji blushed in silence, Zoro turned very pale and fainted, Nami started squeal with joy despite the biologic odds, Luffy just smiled while Usopp and Chopper's jaws dropped in shock, Robin just gave her usual smile. Steven however was confused.
He couldn't let such a thing go any further. He knew what he had to do. Meanwhile, everyone was on deck trying to revive Zoro from his unconsciousness. Luckily, Marcy used an old trick Garnet did before. She took a water bottle, splashed him with half of it, then slapped him three times in the face.
"Ugh!... What happened?" he said shaking himself dry.
"You fainted a while ago, you even turned pale white. Are you okay?" asked the sapphire.
"Yeah, I'm just a little overwhelmed and...surprised...-and happy, but I don't know anything about raising a child. Teaching Connie how to sword fight, no problem. Giving Steven advise, fine. Having a kid of my own, I'm just not ready for it," explained Zoro.
"Zoro, don't worry. Steven's dad and Connie's parents would be more than happy to give you advice," reassured Garnet.
"Yeah, even Sanji's mom could help. She's been with Sanji for as long you can count," added Marcella.
Suddenly before Zoro could feel at ease, Steven tapped on his shoulder and asked a very embarrassing question.
"Zoro-sensei, how do guys have a baby?" Everyone except Connie and Steven fell backwards. The gems looked at each other, they didn't know what to tell him because they don't know how human birth works.
The Strawhats wanted to tell him but they don't know how to tell him. Usopp would just lie as always, Nami was too nervous to how the child would react, Luffy wouldn't be much help either. So it was up to Chopper to explain the process.
"You see Steven, the answer is simple really," the reindeer explained as he took him into men's quarters. Everyone was sweating bullets but tried to calm down when Sanji decided to start cooking but was stopped by Connie.
"Let's wait for Steven, he wanted to make a special breakfast," She explained her actions.
Several days later, everyone was at Marcy's british villa going about their day. Preparations were already for the new bundle(s) of joy that is soon to be born while she was mostly bragging it to her friends on her cell-phone.
"Can you believe it, girl? Your son is gonna be a father," said Marcella, talking on the phone.
"My Zoro? A father? Are you serious?" said Zoro's mom, Izumi. "That's wonderful."
"I too am the happy, but mostly worried-because Riichi,"added Sanji mother (Bijou).
"RIICHI! That bastard ain't have nothing to do with it. Zoro had to do the job ALL BY HIMSELF! Sanji also had some effort too. Ain't that right?" Marcy referred to Zoro as she was sipping her glass of rats blood (she is still a vampire after all).
"Yeah, sure, " he said quickly, helping Sanji with breathing exercises while also lifting weights.
"Your son's a good boy, Izumi. Now where was I? Oh right, do you know how many other men nearly soiled that beautiful garden? There's Riichi, , on curtain occasions Patty, that Duval copycat bastard," she listed as talked to Izumi (Zoro's mother).
"Don't forget about the cooks at Navarone," added Luffy as he was playing with the new baby blocks.
"That's right. Not even those strapping young lads could plant that soil. It took a REAL man to spawn in there," raved and ranted Marcy.
The Merry was docked outside the villa and they were an hour near a hospital. The outside was beautiful, full of lush plant life and unbelievable decor. It's was a pretty impressive landscape. Sanji was resting on the back porch enjoying a glass of tea and bowl of fruit. Meanwhile, Zoro was training with Connie and Pearl.
"Remember: In the heed of battle, your enemies don't matter. You and your comrades are what matter," instructed Pearl.
"Our foes don't matter," Zoro and Connie repeated.
"Let the fight begin," she shouted.
So the training began, they were sending sword blows like no ones business. Meanwhile, Sanji was relaxing with some calm soothing music from Brook's violin. Garnet kept a watchful eye on him even though he's not a lot to worry about. Since he's still a guy, he's somewhat independent.
"Garnet-chan, can I have a glass of tea, please." Asked the pregnant cook.
"Of course, I'll be right back," she said as walked off to the kitchen.
Sanji was feeling so calm, he was on the verge of falling asleep. In the kitchen, Garnet had unfused but just for a second. Ruby boiled the water and Sapphire was picking out the tea.
"Wow, even apart we work well together," joked Ruby.
"Of course, we are connected no matter how we exist," replied Sapphire.
The two gems were busy with the tea, everything was going pretty well. Back with Marcy blathering on the phone with Izumi (Sanji's mother just jumped into the conversation). They started discuss about how their relationship was coming along.
"Zoro did tell me he was a bit rusty the first time but once he got really into it, Sanji was begging like a queen bee school girl on prom," said the vampire girl.
"Marcella! That is no way to talk about another person's sex life," said Bijou in an embarrassed tone.
"What? I can't help but gossip," Marcy replied.
"But she is right, what are those two have should stay secret, even though it's only between just us three ladies," Izumi had just realized.
"Don't worry, I would never revel their love anyone on the outside. I'm the only one who knows what they do together," reassured Marcy.
Marcy was enjoying her time talking with the proud couple's mothers and to her, it felt good letting them know that their sons are doing fine. Meanwhile, Steven was learning how to sew and knit with Robin, so he can make something special for when the baby comes. He had at least five cuts in his hand but Chopper was there to patch him up.
"Wow, making stuff from yarn feels hard. How do you do it without cutting your finger?" asked the quartz child.
"You have to try to keep your fingers away from the needles, so you don't end up pricking yourself," Robin said holding Steven's hands.
Steven watched closely as Robin demonstrated to Steven how to sew properly, it took a few minutes to get it but he was really getting the hang of it. Robin smiled as she observed Steven's progress quickly growing. Steven was all buzzed by the how well he's learning.
"Sanji looked so cute in Zoro's shirt, I had to take a picture...Sorry girls, someone's on the other line. I'll be right back," said Marcy.
Despite the calling history that was left on her cell, she always puts her calls on hold just in case. As she answered the next caller,she then got a startling noise in her ear.
"WHERE IS THAT MOSS-HEAD SON OF A BITCH!" yelled a familiar voice.
"Riichi? Is that you? Why the hell are you calling here?" she said as if she didn't know anything.
"Quit playing stupid, you better tell what's going on or I'll..." he was suddenly interupted by Zoro (who just happened to hear him through Marcy's phone).
"Can I see that phone?" Zoro politely asked.
"He's all yours Moss-daddy," joked Marcy.
Giving Marcella an annoyed scowl, Zoro then walked off into an empty room to he could talk to Riichi in private. It was an old ballroom that hasn't been used in years. Once Zoro could see he was offically alone he began to give his arch enemy some serious dressing down.
"LISTEN JACKASS! WHAT RIGHT DO YOU HAVE CALLING ME ON VACATION?!" barked Zoro.
"HOW THE HELL DID YOU KNOCK UP THE FOX WHEN I COULDN'T?" Riichi screeched back.
"Maybe it's because...he wouldn't be caught dead in a coffin with children born from your seeds," Zoro answered.
"DON'T GET SMART WITH ME, YOUR MOSS HEADED COCK SUCKER. I AM DON'T CARE IF YOU ARE A RUBY, I WANT TO HAVE MY DAMN BABIES!" the diamond solider yelled.
"Well that's too bad because HE'S PREGNANT WITH MY SEEDS! I'M A GEM, YOU HEAR ME, A CRYSTAL FUCKING GEM!" Zoro hangs up.
As he gathered himself from his cocky behave, he turn to leave only to find Connie and Pearl staring at him with an awkward expression.
"Oh...you two were listening," the swordsman blushed "How much did you see and/or hear."
"We just came in when you were yelling like a nutcase but then again, Riichi never quits...so he did pretty much deserve it," explained Pearl.
The two just looked at each other and just busted out laughing, leaving the swordsman embarrassed. On into the afternoon, Marcella was in the Galley cooking up a feast of the expected mother. She made mashed potatoes, macaroni salad and so much more. However, Sanji wasn't the kind to make a pig of himself, yet the vampire princess insists.
"Sanji, you better be eating up in there. Remember, you're eating for two now." She hollered over the sizzling.
"Marcy-chan, thank you for your lovely cooking but I don't think I'll be able to eat this," reasoned Sanji.
The crew was in agreement with Sanji's comment as they saw enormous banquet spread across the table. Everyone's jaws dropped, never expected anyone with Sanji's exact speed and quality. Everything on looked delicious but impossible to eat all at once.
"Sanji's right, he's not a walking black hole like Luffy and your better off letting his mom cook for awhile," explained Nami.
"Then, what am I suppose to do with all this good food?" Marcella pouted.
Suddenly, Luffy tugged on her apron and gave her the "classic kitten eyes" and she knew what he wanted. As usual, she gave in and let him at it.