DWHS xover 07/20/2012

Okay, so I've become a Whovian. Nuff said on that matter.

So, a little about this story. Firstly, the 10th Doctor is best Doctor, so I'm using him, no explanation on that one. Secondly, I chose Martha as the Doctor's companion for this because, eh, I feel as if she needs a little more love, you know? I just don't see much Martha around. And for the Homestuck portion, it's post scratch because I had no other ideas on how I'd get everyone together besides some serious Weird Plot Shit that would take me ridiculously too long to think up. So yeah. It's post scratch.

Oh yeah, and I'll be using Homestuck-like commands while remaining in 3rd person POV. Just to shake it up or whatever.

The cover art for this story was made by the wonderful ~loopyylunatico26 on deviantART. She gave me permission to use it and all that stuff, so don't worry about that lol. You should check her out, she's pretty darn good. X3

Well. Let's see how this little one crashes and burns like the rest of my crossovers. 8D

Disclaimer: The BBC owns Doctor Who and Andrew Hussie owns Homestuck. Wow, looky here, I'm not either of those and/or affiliated with either of them. We're just learning new things every day.

Allons-y!

==Be in a police box that travels time and space

"Alrighty-o Martha, where to today?" A man in a long trenchcoat, a blue suit, and off-setting red converses shouted as he scanned the controls of his TARDIS.

"Alrighty...o?" The young woman next to him asked, giggling into her hand a bit. She hadn't known the Doctor for too long, but she'd known him just long enough to pick up on a few of his many quirks. One of this infinite quirks being his tendency to make words sound very, very silly.

"Well yes, what did you expect me to say? Just alright? You really need to get used to the way things work around here, Miss Jones." The Doctor smirked, hiking his foot onto the other side of the console.

"I'm used to it enough to know that you don't need to contort yourself all over the console just to hit a switch. Here, let me get that one for you." Martha moved his foot off the console, hitting a couple switches on it's way down. Nobody noticed of course, since this is a melodrama where things come as a shock and the like.

"Fine, but it's more fun that way. Just hit the little blue one." The Doctor scowled as he made his way to the other side of the console, slapping a couple buttons himself.

"Alrighty-o, Doctor." Martha laughed at her own joke as she hit the switch matching the description. A couple lights flashed and the TARDIS shook a bit but stopped as quickly as it started. The Doctor raced over to the area Martha was standing over, whipping his glasses.

"What exactly did you hit Martha?" He muttered, examining the board of switches and buttons. He shook his head, clicked his tongue, and whipped his glasses back off. "Well, whatever you hit, it's not going to do us any good trying to fix it now. The Time Vortex is already taking us there, or preparing in the least."

"What do you mean? And why is this suddenly my fault? You're the one with your trainers all over the dashboard." The African-British scoffed, crossing her arms.

"To answer your second question since it's answer is much, much shorter, it's your fault because you haven't been operating a TARDIS since oh, I don't know, a very long time. The first question...well, let's just make a long story short and say that we're in for a bit of a ride. And by ride, I mean so much of a ride, all our past adventures will seem like a little stroll in the safe part of town when compared. The part of town where Ms. Brown goes out daily to give everyone flowers while Mr. Evans throws free money out in the street. Yet that's actually a very stupid idea, so we'd be in the stupid part of town-"

"DOCTOR!" Martha yelled, making said Doctor's head snap up in surprise. "Sorry, it's just you were rambling again. But if it's really that bad, is there any way to override the system and get us the hell out of there?"

"Oh, no no no no, and no. You never try to override a Time Vortex. It would rip a hole in the space-time continuum and from there it'd be 90 degrees downhill straight into a hard, cement wall of 'I told you so'. So there's no way to get the hell out of here." The Doctor rubbed his temples. "We're just going to have to see what's on the other side. But from the readings I'm getting on the monitor, we're most likely not going to like it."

Martha slid in front of one of the monitors herself and studied the readings. She had learned how to read the readings just a few days ago but what she was getting from this was absolute rubbish. She was pretty sure that ?4=-+~612` was not a year and that -+12+=?~413 was not what she knew to be proper coordinates.

"Doctor, these readings are absolute...nonsense," She frowned at the screen and blinked a couple times to make sure she wasn't hallucinating.

"That's normally what happens when you screw around with the controls. Yet I've never seen it be quite this bad. I mean a tilde, really? We must be going somewhere real far out. Possibly even worse than end of the universe. Maybe beyond the end of the universe, if that's possible. Yet what troubles me is those digits within the results..." The Doctor frowned to himself. "I know I've seen them somewhere, I just can't place my finger on it..."

"Well before you get too lost in thought with tildes and strange numbers, we're here, wherever here is." Martha said, moving away from the console. The Doctor stood up and strode over to the TARDIS door.

"Ready?" He asked. Martha nodded and he opened the door to face whatever could be out there.

==Check on whatever could be out there

"Rose. You're completely sure this is going to work." A certain sunglasses-clad Knight asked, staring at his ecto-sister through his thick, black lenses.

"Yes, David, we have it all worked out. No thanks to you, I may add." Rose sighed, ruffling her hair in slight frustration. Between Dave, her mother as a teen, Karkat's never-ending rants, and the utter confusion of the Alpha session she was doing all she could to keep her brain from splattering everywhere across all of the Incipisphere.

"But, I mean, what if Jack comes swooping in all inconveniently right when we're screwing around trying to kick the Condesce's tight ass?" Strider asked, spouting his fifth convoluted speculation in the past 15 minutes. Rose just sighed and shook her head, not even bothering to answer her brother this time. She had better things to do. Better things as in looking over their Skaia, making sure everything was in order.

As she was just about to grasp the answer to the question her mind had been mulling over for what seemed like forever, a windy derp came flying out of nowhere as inconveniently as possible shouting his friend's names over and over.

"Dave! Rose! Dave! Rose! Dave, Rose, something just happened!" John repeated, arms flailing around ridiculously. Dave broke his stoic cover for half a second to smirk at the sight but instantly wiped his face of all emotion, trying to hold back fits of laughter. Rose, however, was extremely unamused. So very unamused.

"What could it possibly be this time?" Rose said through clenched teeth. "This better not be another report about Jade chasing my mother's mutant felines around again because I utterly and sincerely do not care anymore. To tell the truth, I stopped caring somewhere between the last twelve and twenty times you have told me about this. I have more important things to worry about."

"Oh, well, okay. Even though she is, I wasn't coming over here to tell you that this time." John frowned, buck teeth still sticking out. "I was going to tell you that there's some weird blue police box thingy 30 yards away from camp."

"Wait, blue police box thingy?" Dave snickered. "What kind of ACME brand shitty description is that, Egderp?"

"Hey, it's not like I read books for fun like Rose does. I watch the movies." John laughed. Rose shook her head at her friend's banter, anger wearing off somewhat.

"Alright, fine. You've convinced me that this so called 'blue police box thingy' is of top priority. But one question, do you have any idea how such a 'thingy' would have showed up here of all places?" Ms. Lalonde inquired, trying to search her memory for such an object. It was irking her how much she should know what it is but she just couldn't place her finger on it.

"No clue. But all I know is that Jane told me she watched it sorta fade in with the light on top flashing. She also said she could have sworn she heard voices coming from inside it but she wasn't sure. You'd have to ask her about that part." John recalled, finger on his chin.

"No need for that. Gather up the other kids and any trolls if you can find them, we're going in." Rose said, dusting non-existant dust bunnies off of her God Tier robes and grabbing Dave by the arm, marching back towards the direction of camp. John saluted and went to gather up the rest of their team of kids and any trolls he could find lurking about even though they were all on the other side of Skaia, currently on a stakeout mission.

==DW: Exit the blue police box thingy

The Doctor slowly pushed open the door of his TARDIS and stepped out ever so carefully, Martha nearly on top of him, right in his wake.

"My God...where have we gotten ourselves to today..." The Doctor breathed to himself, taking in the strange landscape. The ground was a checkerboard, pockmarked with what seemed to be craters of various sized meteors. There were spots of green on the horizon but it just seemed to be an endless expanse of alternating black and white boxes. The sky was swirled white and blue like cotton candy, pictures appearing in the clouds every so often. About what they guessed to be 30 yards away, a little camp like set of structures resided on the checkerboarded ground.

"Doctor, do you have any idea where we are?" Martha said as quietly, one foot still inside the TARDIS just in case something happened where she would need to get back into the ship as fast as possible.

"Not the slightest." The Timelord said, nearly making his companion facepalm. "But that's what makes it fun, doesn't it? Allons-y, Martha!" The Doctor took a couple huge strides forward before the sound of his companion's voice stopped him.

"But Doctor, where exactly are we going to 'allons-y' off to? You don't know what's out there any more than I do, do you?" Martha crossed her arms.

"You know, those are both spectacular questions that I will answer for you. No idea. But like I said, that's what makes it fun! C'mon then!" The Doctor grinned, striding forward with Martha trailing behind him, snickering. "It can't be too bad, can it? It's not like the Daleks, Cybermen, and every other horror we've run into is just going to pop up and spoil the fun. That would be so predictable."

==HS: Go in

"Lalonde, what exactly did you bring us here for?" Dirk Strider sighed, putting his katana down. "It's not like we have all day. We only have three hours or so before Jack Whatsisname shows up and all hell breaks loose."

"Yeah, I was breeding the frogs. Again." Jade huffed, ears flopping over in frustration. Rose sighed. Today was definitely not her day, none of them were. None of them.

"Look, there's a serious threat on the horizon. Like literally, it's on the horizon. You can go look for yourself." She said, pointing out the window of the base camp. Everyone dashed over to the window and started pushing at each other to get a better look. Rose sighed yet again, she wished they would act as sane as her just for five minutes.

"What is it? I can't really make it out." Jake asked from under Roxy who was fogging up the window with her breath, just "for the lylz".

"John and Jane have so beautifully described it as a 'blue police box thingy'. That's the best we have right now and no one's going over there until we have a legitimate plan worked out, we have no idea what could come out of that thing or what it's doing here in the first place." Rose replied as everyone started to back away from the window a bit.

"And do the trolls know about this thing yet? Karkat would blow a gasket if he didn't find out such 'serious leader business' right away." Jade asked, inwardly giggling at the thought of Karkat blowing said gasket.

"I tried to find them but all of them were on the other side of Skaia patrolling so I decided not to bother them." John stated. Suddenly Jake's eyes lit up with epiphany and he started to grin widely. Everyone stared at him for a minute. All of the sudden he burst out, making everyone jump.

"GUYS I THINK I KNOW WHAT THE BLUE POLICE BOX DOODAD COULD POSSIBLY BE." He near-squeed, eyes twinkling with boyish glee.

"What is it, for fuck's sake tell us before you explode and we have to scrape you off the walls." Dave said, grabbing Jake by the shoulders.

"THE. DOCTOR. TARDIS. THING." Was all he said before falling onto the closest chair-like thing they had salvaged from the ship Jade and John travelled in on.

"Wait, what?" Jane said, staring at Jake's collapsed form. Jake's eyes sprung open.

"How can you never heard of...? I can't believe it...how can you have never heard of Doctor Who?" He gasped incredulously. Comprehension dawned on John and Rose, but everyone else was still partially confused.

Rose tapped her chin. "Ah, I see. That's why all of this seemed so familiar. But I still don't understand, it's just a show. It's literally impossible for the things mentioned in said show to even possibly exist. Especially something as advanced as the TARDIS. Yet, there is sburb, so I guess stranger things have happened..." She mused to herself, zoning everyone else out partially.

"Wait, TARDIS? What kind of name is that? Is it like police, but for tards?" Dave snickered while Jake just gaped at him.

"How...how...how can you put down the TARDIS in such a way?" He whispered meekly. Dave put his hands up in the universal sign of "sorry bro" and continued to snicker. John, meanwhile, was in a state of shock. He was just standing in the corner, mouth forming a perfect 'O'.

Dirk was thinking the whole thing over while Roxy just sort of stood around, muttering to herself about how funny a word TARDIS is. Jane was still rather confused as was Jade, they obviously hadn't dabbled in British dramas as much as the rest of their party.

"So, if this Doctor Who show apparently is real, what does that mean? What does this imply? I sure hope it doesn't mean more shit, I'm pretty tired of shit, even in an ironic sense." Dirk sighed, rubbing his temples as he tried to get a grip on exactly what was happening.

"Well, from what normally happens in Doctor Who, some kind of alien being is disturbing some kind of balance in the universe so the Doctor and whoever happens to be his companion at the time have to swoop in and save the day. The Doctor is the last of some kind of humanoid alien race called the Timelords and has a time and space traveling machine shaped like a British police box called the TARDIS. From there, it all just gets sort of confusing and is a never-ending story spanning across many seasons. Though it's not half as confusing as what we've been through, so I guess that says something." Rose explained. "But, if he's here, then something really strange must be going on. Well, not that strange for us, probably pretty normal for him. So this is going to be smooth sailing, believe me."

Well. I think that went quite nicely if I don't say so myself. And Rose's last statement, I think that's your worst prediction there sweetie. Let's see how this one turns out.

Anyway, I have almost the whole next chapter planned out and I'm in the process of writing it right now. Believe me, this is going to be very, very amusing. So join me next time!

~Mint