A/N: I know, I know! People have been going crazy with the whole post-
season-four fics. But I got this great idea so I had to write it! My
first attempt at a fan fic failed miserably so I'm here to try again. My
last fic I got all of ONE review. Not fun. So I would lovingly and
obsessively like lots of replies! Please, question mark?
Disclaimer: I, sadly, own nothing. It would be awfully fun to own Luke though. And maybe Jess. No, just Luke. Oh, flannel is so beautiful.... : :falls out of chair, drooling: : Um, to the story. BTW, it belongs to ASP and all them folks.
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Chapter One: Dull Hedge Clippers
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There Rory was, sitting on the bottom step of the Gilmore porch steps. Her arms were wrapped around herself and her head was pillowed on top of them. Sobs shook her tiny frame.
Lorelai had come out of the house expecting to go back to the Inn. When she saw Rory, she froze for a second and then went into Mommy mode. She walked quickly to her daughter and sat down next to her.
The young woman immediately turned and fell into her mother's arms. Lorelai instantly hugged her close, rocking back and forth in a calming motion. Before Rory had been enveloped by Lorelai's arms, Lorelai had heard a quiet little murmur that sounded like "mommy..." That had pulled at her motherly heart strings the most; it was a glance at the innocent Rory, the Rory she would never see again.
"Shh, Rory...It's okay, Hun..." Lorelai quietly reassured her daughter, rubbing her back and head.
They had been outside for about forty five minutes when Rory decided to speak.
"I...I...I didn't..." Rory tried to speak, but her mother's curls and shoulder were suffocating her. Rory pulled away and looked up despairingly at Lorelai. "I didn't mean to, mom," she said, sobs interrupting her words here or there. "I wasn't expecting to...Especially not with Dean." She laid her head on Lorelai's shoulder.
"I know, Hun..."
They fell into silence which lasted quite a long time.
"I didn't mean it, mom," Rory said suddenly.
"What are you talking about?" Lorelai's look was confused.
"When I said I hated you." A pained look crossed Rory's face. "I could never hate you. Ever. No matter what." Her arms slid back around Lorelai's waist and she pulled her mother closer. "I love you, mom."
"I love you, sweets." Lorelai kissed the girl's head and rested her chin there.
They sat there holding each other until Lorelai shivered.
Rory's eyes widened in horror. Here she had been, sitting and freaking out about herself and she hadn't even cared to notice that her mother's clothing was thin and barely kept her warm. She, on the other hand, was wearing a thick coat.
"Mom? Aren't you cold?" she asked quietly.
"A little. Can we go inside?" Before she received an answer, she stood, pulling Rory up with her.
They went inside, Rory still encased in Lorelai's arms. The girls moved to the couch where Lorelai left Rory to retrieve the teenager's pajamas. She came back quickly and tugged the child up the flight of stairs to Lorelai's room where Rory changed and slid into the bed. Lorelai lay down next to her daughter but did not change into her PJs. In the back of her mind, the thought that she had to go back to the Inn with or without Rory lived on, ever present. But because she was stubborn and because her maternal instincts had kicked in a long time ago, she would not leave Rory unless forced to.
They lay on the bed for a while, Rory once again in Lorelai's safe arms.
"It wasn't how I thought it would be," Rory said quietly. She sounded disappointed.
"It wasn't?" Lorelai asked, half of her transforming into the best friend and the other staying the ever protective mommy just in case.
"No...I thought it would be this wonderful, fireworks exploding, choir singing, stars exploding moment and...it wasn't." Rory sighed dejectedly. "It...it...it hurt, mom."
In response, Lorelai rubbed Rory's arm comfortingly.
"I didn't expect it to hurt that much, but it did. It was so...uncomfortable." Rory sighed again. "I mean, it was..." she didn't know how to put it without sounding disgusting, "pleasurable. I mean, after the pain wore away. But I thought that afterwards I would think, 'Wow! I liked that! I really want to do it more often!'" She paused and for one of the first times in her life, didn't know what words to use describe her feelings. She was supposed to be good with words. "Afterwards, Dean held me for a while. Not for too long though. He kept telling me that it was perfect. But...it wasn't. I couldn't even lie and say it was. All I could say was that it was beautiful. I mean, it's a natural part of life and all of life's...naturality is beautiful. God! That isn't even a word! Geez, I didn't explain how it happened..."
"Nope, you didn't. But I knew you'd tell me after a little bit of time." Lorelai knew that Rory was a little messed up right now.
"Well, I came home to get the CD's and I was getting them ready when Dean came to the back door. We were in my room and we were talking and somehow we just inched closer and then we were kissing and falling onto my bed...yeah, you know the rest. The whole time he kept telling me he loved me. He repeated it over and over but he always kissed me before I replied. Maybe it was a god thing that I didn't respond ---"
"Rory?" Lorelai interrupted her, the older woman's voice very serious. "Do you love him, Rory?" she asked after forcing Rory to look up into her eyes.
Rory's gaze faltered. "I...I don't..." It sounded like she was going to say that she didn't know but she stopped herself because she did. "No, mom," she said, her eyes filling with tears again. "No, I don't."
"Oh, Rory..." Lorelai said sympathetically. She pulled Rory closer into her arms again and rocked her back and forth until the tears subsided.
"I don't think I can face him, mom." Rory's voice was quiet and sheepish and Lorelai got the greatest urge to just deal with it herself so she could protect her daughter. But Rory was an adult and had adult problems that needed to be dealt with by Rory herself.
Those hedge clippers were looking mighty enticing to Lorelai right now.
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A/N: God! I hated writing this part. I guess there's a part of me inside who doesn't want them to deal with this. I hate trying to think about how Lorelai's going to help Rory and what Rory's going to do for herself. Hmm. I don't like this part. Please Review!!!
Disclaimer: I, sadly, own nothing. It would be awfully fun to own Luke though. And maybe Jess. No, just Luke. Oh, flannel is so beautiful.... : :falls out of chair, drooling: : Um, to the story. BTW, it belongs to ASP and all them folks.
#####################################
Chapter One: Dull Hedge Clippers
#####################################
There Rory was, sitting on the bottom step of the Gilmore porch steps. Her arms were wrapped around herself and her head was pillowed on top of them. Sobs shook her tiny frame.
Lorelai had come out of the house expecting to go back to the Inn. When she saw Rory, she froze for a second and then went into Mommy mode. She walked quickly to her daughter and sat down next to her.
The young woman immediately turned and fell into her mother's arms. Lorelai instantly hugged her close, rocking back and forth in a calming motion. Before Rory had been enveloped by Lorelai's arms, Lorelai had heard a quiet little murmur that sounded like "mommy..." That had pulled at her motherly heart strings the most; it was a glance at the innocent Rory, the Rory she would never see again.
"Shh, Rory...It's okay, Hun..." Lorelai quietly reassured her daughter, rubbing her back and head.
They had been outside for about forty five minutes when Rory decided to speak.
"I...I...I didn't..." Rory tried to speak, but her mother's curls and shoulder were suffocating her. Rory pulled away and looked up despairingly at Lorelai. "I didn't mean to, mom," she said, sobs interrupting her words here or there. "I wasn't expecting to...Especially not with Dean." She laid her head on Lorelai's shoulder.
"I know, Hun..."
They fell into silence which lasted quite a long time.
"I didn't mean it, mom," Rory said suddenly.
"What are you talking about?" Lorelai's look was confused.
"When I said I hated you." A pained look crossed Rory's face. "I could never hate you. Ever. No matter what." Her arms slid back around Lorelai's waist and she pulled her mother closer. "I love you, mom."
"I love you, sweets." Lorelai kissed the girl's head and rested her chin there.
They sat there holding each other until Lorelai shivered.
Rory's eyes widened in horror. Here she had been, sitting and freaking out about herself and she hadn't even cared to notice that her mother's clothing was thin and barely kept her warm. She, on the other hand, was wearing a thick coat.
"Mom? Aren't you cold?" she asked quietly.
"A little. Can we go inside?" Before she received an answer, she stood, pulling Rory up with her.
They went inside, Rory still encased in Lorelai's arms. The girls moved to the couch where Lorelai left Rory to retrieve the teenager's pajamas. She came back quickly and tugged the child up the flight of stairs to Lorelai's room where Rory changed and slid into the bed. Lorelai lay down next to her daughter but did not change into her PJs. In the back of her mind, the thought that she had to go back to the Inn with or without Rory lived on, ever present. But because she was stubborn and because her maternal instincts had kicked in a long time ago, she would not leave Rory unless forced to.
They lay on the bed for a while, Rory once again in Lorelai's safe arms.
"It wasn't how I thought it would be," Rory said quietly. She sounded disappointed.
"It wasn't?" Lorelai asked, half of her transforming into the best friend and the other staying the ever protective mommy just in case.
"No...I thought it would be this wonderful, fireworks exploding, choir singing, stars exploding moment and...it wasn't." Rory sighed dejectedly. "It...it...it hurt, mom."
In response, Lorelai rubbed Rory's arm comfortingly.
"I didn't expect it to hurt that much, but it did. It was so...uncomfortable." Rory sighed again. "I mean, it was..." she didn't know how to put it without sounding disgusting, "pleasurable. I mean, after the pain wore away. But I thought that afterwards I would think, 'Wow! I liked that! I really want to do it more often!'" She paused and for one of the first times in her life, didn't know what words to use describe her feelings. She was supposed to be good with words. "Afterwards, Dean held me for a while. Not for too long though. He kept telling me that it was perfect. But...it wasn't. I couldn't even lie and say it was. All I could say was that it was beautiful. I mean, it's a natural part of life and all of life's...naturality is beautiful. God! That isn't even a word! Geez, I didn't explain how it happened..."
"Nope, you didn't. But I knew you'd tell me after a little bit of time." Lorelai knew that Rory was a little messed up right now.
"Well, I came home to get the CD's and I was getting them ready when Dean came to the back door. We were in my room and we were talking and somehow we just inched closer and then we were kissing and falling onto my bed...yeah, you know the rest. The whole time he kept telling me he loved me. He repeated it over and over but he always kissed me before I replied. Maybe it was a god thing that I didn't respond ---"
"Rory?" Lorelai interrupted her, the older woman's voice very serious. "Do you love him, Rory?" she asked after forcing Rory to look up into her eyes.
Rory's gaze faltered. "I...I don't..." It sounded like she was going to say that she didn't know but she stopped herself because she did. "No, mom," she said, her eyes filling with tears again. "No, I don't."
"Oh, Rory..." Lorelai said sympathetically. She pulled Rory closer into her arms again and rocked her back and forth until the tears subsided.
"I don't think I can face him, mom." Rory's voice was quiet and sheepish and Lorelai got the greatest urge to just deal with it herself so she could protect her daughter. But Rory was an adult and had adult problems that needed to be dealt with by Rory herself.
Those hedge clippers were looking mighty enticing to Lorelai right now.
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A/N: God! I hated writing this part. I guess there's a part of me inside who doesn't want them to deal with this. I hate trying to think about how Lorelai's going to help Rory and what Rory's going to do for herself. Hmm. I don't like this part. Please Review!!!