A/N: Yeah… I know that I really should be working on Repeat to Me What You Said Again?! but this idea wouldn't get out of my head… and I'm going to be brutally honest with you all, I haven't started the next chapter at all yet. Sure the ideas have been swimming around in my head but I haven't put them all in my head yet. I promise I'll have it up in another month or so. Sorry for the long wait.

VERY IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE!

I REPEAT, THIS STORY IS NOT GOING TO BE A HARRY/GINNY STORY!!! IT'S GOING TO BE A GINNY/BLAISE STORY (I just decided that right after writing this whole chapter/prologue things =D I've never written a Ginny/Blaise story so I thought it'd be interesting. =D)

Lying To Myself

CarEtoDreaM

Summary: Being happy actually isn't as easy as it looks… happiness is underrated.

Sometimes it's actually really hard to be happy, it really is. I'm not that sure of how many times I've lied to myself that I'm happy again. There are even more numbers of the times that I've lied to my friends telling them that I was happy. I feel so pathetic sometimes, I mean, what reason do I have to be depressed? My family loves me, I have the most incredible friends, and even though we're poor, my family still manages to get us everything that we need and even some things that we only want. It makes me feel really selfish a lot of times, thinking about how I think I have a bad life when I really have it good compared to so many people. But what can I do about it? It's not like I haven't tried to be happy. I've actually tried so many times it's become useless to try and remember all of the times.

I suppose that there is one key responsibility to all the sadness… the reason is pathetic really, but it's not like I choose who I fall in love with. I guess things like falling in love just happen, you never plan it or anything. I sure as hell didn't plan on falling in love with Harry Potter. So maybe it really wasn't that surprising or anything, but it really started out as only a simple school girl crush. I didn't see it escalating into love. I really didn't. I didn't want to fall in love with Harry Potter. It wasn't supposed to happen this way. I was only supposed to fancy Harry for a couple months, maybe one or two years at most… but now I'm in my sixth year and I still haven't fallen out of it yet.

I feel really pathetic about it all. One main reason to that too. Harry's never going to notice me you know. I'm always going to be a little sister to him, and there's a reason for that too. Maybe if I hadn't tried to always act like I only thought of him as only an older brother, he may have seen as more than a little sister. But I even had to go on ahead and tell him that he was only like another brother to me. Pretty pathetic aren't I? You don't just go tell the person that you love that you only think of them as a brother. It was a stupid thing to say and I've been regretting it for the past two years. I'm a sodding idiot.

The only person that Harry had ever liked between his first and sixth year was Cho Chang, but now she was no longer in Hogwarts and their relationship had never worked out anyways. I assumed that once Cho had left Hogwarts, Harry could have maybe noticed me. That wasn't the case however. Turns out that Padma Patil isn't nearly as air headed as her sister Parvati. She didn't fall in love with Harry because of his name, she fell in love with him because of his personality. And as much as I hate to admit it, I had never seen Harry more happy than when he was with her and I knew that he had fallen in love. I suppose he has a thing for Ravenclaws.

I was nothing compared to Cho and Padma, they were both beautiful and I couldn't compete with them at all when it came to looks. I'm not trying to be modest because I'm merely stating the truth. I'm pretty and attractive, yes, but nothing to get excited over. Just another Weasley except with long hair and breasts. My height is nothing to be proud of either, I stand at a mere five foot two inches, pretty pathetic right? I know that Harry isn't one that is shallow enough to only like someone for their looks, but it's what any person notices first in another person. Sad but true…

Winter break starts after the end of classes today. Ron, Hermione, Harry, Padma, and I are all going to be staying at Hogwarts for the two weeks of break along with a couple more students from each house. I'm not all that sure on whether I should be thankful for the lack of people or worried about it. There's a simple reason for that because when I'm alone I can't help but begin to think about things. And whenever I begin to think, it's never good. Because when I think, it only manages to screw up my feelings. Everyone says I think too much, and I suppose that they're right. I trust them more than I trust myself.

A/N: so… how was it? Keep in mind though, that this was only a prologue!!! The next chapter will be longer! And I really want feedback on how this story is please people!! SO REVIEW!!! And tell me what you think of the story! Constructive criticism is welcome.