Klaine reaction fic for "Dreams Come True." Eleven months in the journey Kurt and Blaine take to become parents, from Rachel offering to be their surrogate through the birth. Background St. Berry. TW: Discussions of IVF medical procedures, ultrasounds, childbirth, and brief mentions of Finn's death
For ecklainer who got some very good news this week and who loves pregnancy fic more than anyone else I know.
Two Months Prior
"Ooh, she looks pretty," Blaine says, pointing to a woman with dark curly hair and bright blue eyes. She looks like a healthy mixture of Blaine and Kurt which is what initally catches his eye.
"Okay, let's see," Kurt scans her page of details. "Donor #7824: She's 28, no known illnesses or family history of hereditary diseases. She got her degree in Finance from Northwestern and she works at Goldman Sachs."
"So she's clearly smart," Blaine nods. "That sounds promising."
"Yeah, I like her," Kurt agrees. "Add her to the list."
Blaine scribbles down the donor number on the notepad he's balancing on his knee. They've nearly filled the entire page but they're still no closer to making a decision than they had been a week ago. He had no clue that parenthood and surrogacy were so complicated.
"How many does that bring us up to?" Kurt asks.
Blaine does a quick count. "Thirty-seven maybes," he groans.
"Jesus," Kurt winces. "How are we ever going to narrow this down?"
"I have no idea." Blaine scrubs a hand over his face, feeling overwhelmed. "Maybe we should just pull a number out of a hat?" He's only half kidding.
"We can't choose the future mother of our child that way, Blaine," Kurt laughs. "Although it is tempting."
"Really tempting."
"Knock-knock," a voice calls. Rachel pokes her head around the door, having obviously let herself into their apartment with the key Kurt and Blaine gave her in case of an emergency. More often than not, those "emergencies" turned out to be needing last minute fashion advice, wanting to show off a piece of particularly good press she received for her Broadway show, or simply just being too impatient to wait the thirty seconds it would take for her to ring the doorbell and them to answer the door. Blaine doesn't really mind her complete lack of boundaries, but he and Kurt have taken to locking their bedroom door when they have sex after Rachel caught an eyeful of stuff she really shouldn't have seen after one particularly amorous session on the couch.
"Hey Rach," Blaine greets her. "What's up?"
"Oh, just in the neighborhood and thought I'd stop by!" she trills. "Jesse has a late meeting with the producers at the theater and I didn't really feel like spending the night alone. I brought champagne!"
"What are we celebrating?" Kurt asks, dragging his focus away from the egg donor catalogue for the first time all evening.
"I just had a little proposal for you guys," Rachel begins cryptically.
"Proposal?" Kurt eyes her suspiciously.
Rachel takes a seat in the armchair across from them. She's beaming and Blaine can tell that whatever news she wants to share, it's something big.
"So Jesse and I had a little chat over the weekend. We know how much you want to be parents and there's no doubt in my mind that you're going to make the best daddies ever when the time is right..."
Kurt and Blaine take a moment to gaze at one another. Blaine reaches for Kurt's hand and squeezes it gently.
"...and I just thought, if you'd have me, I'd be honored to be your surrogate," Rachel finishes.
Blaine's jaw drops, momentarily too speechless to speak. He and Kurt had spoken about using a surrogate they knew when they first started talking about parenthood. The idea of entrusting a total stranger with their child's life was a huge leap of faith and not one that would come easily to either one of them. The only problem was that Kurt was an only child and Blaine only had Cooper, so there was no sister they could press into service. Quinn and Rachel were the only friends they felt close enough to even consider asking. But with Quinn on the west coast, it just wasn't feasible. And Rachel's career had skyrocketed over the past few years and they'd assumed she wouldn't be able to take off the time necessary to carry a baby to term.
Kurt is the first to speak. "Rachel, are you serious? What about your show? You just got nominated for a Tony, for god's sake!"
"Exactly, I've achieved the pinnacle of my career. I don't think it's going to get any better than this. So if there was ever a time to slow things down a little and do something for my friends, my best friends, it's now," Rachel says resolutely.
Blaine looks at Kurt, his eyes welling with happy, overwhelmed tears. "We're going to have a baby," he hiccups.
"Is that a yes?" Rachel squeals.
Kurt opens and closes his mouth several times but no sound comes out. "I..." he breathes. Finally, he just nods, too speechless for words.
Blaine throws his arms around Kurt's neck, crying with excitement and relief. Within seconds, Rachel's across the room and enthusiastically adding herself to the group hug.
"Thank you, thank you," Kurt babbles over and over. It's the first day he actually lets himself believe he's going to be a father.
Implantation Day
"Okay everyone, here we go," the doctor announces. He adjusts the monitor so Kurt and Blaine will be able to see their embryos once they're transferred. It seems impossible to Blaine that human life could come from something quite so tiny and fragile.
"You okay, Rachel?" Blaine asks as she squeezes his hand.
"Yeah," she whispers back. "Just nervous. Excited, but nervous."
"Don't forget to breathe," Kurt reminds her as he tucks a strand of hair behind her ear.
"Good advice all around," the doctor agrees. "Everyone think happy thoughts. This is a big day."
Kurt and Blaine keep all their focus on the monitor as the doctor gets started with the procedure. They've both been thoroughly briefed on the technicalities of what's being done. It all makes Blaine a bit squeamish, if he's being honest, and he's not even the one having his body invaded. But Rachel is taking the whole thing like a trooper, barely complaining about the months of daily injections it took to prepare her eggs. Jesse had been with her for the egg retrieval process since that had been the most invasive and potentially dangerous step in the IVF process. To everyone's great relief, she'd recovered quickly and easily and they'd managed to retrieve five healthy eggs for fertilization. Today two of the healthiest embryos are being implanted.
"Okay, here comes the potentially uncomfortable part," the doctor warns.
Rachel squeezes Blaine's hand hard and winces a little but doesn't make a sound.
"You're doing great, honey," Kurt encourages, stroking her hair.
"Bad part's over now," the nurse soothes a minute or so later. Everyone in the room breathes a sigh of relief.
The doctor points to two small, round blobs on the monitor. "Those are your embryos, safe and sound."
Kurt turns so he can share the moment with his husband, Blaine swallows hard against the lump in his throat, overcome with excitement and fear and hope in equal measure. "Safe and sound," he repeats, praying it will be true.
Two Weeks In
"Is it too early to go over there?" Blaine worries as they step out of the cab. "I don't want her to hate us for interrupting her beauty rest."
Kurt sighs and glances at his watch. "It's 7:30 which isn't that bad. Rachel's always been an early riser. I'm sure she's already up."
"I feel like we're already asking her for so much. She's been amazing, I just don't want her to grow to resent us, you know?" Blaine is practically vibrating with anxiety.
That thought stops Kurt short. "Shit, do you want to wait an extra hour?"
"No," Blaine whines. "I think if I have to wait another minute I might die!"
"Me too," Kurt manages. "I'm a wreck."
Blaine takes a deep, steadying breath. He reaches for Kurt and takes his free hand. "Then let's do this now before we lose our nerve."
Kurt nods and they walk up the front steps and hit the buzzer to be let into Rachel and Jesse's penthouse apartment.
Jesse answers the door on the first ring, fresh out of the shower but already up and dressed to start his day. Kurt and Blaine breathe twin sighs of relief.
"Hey boys, took you long enough!" he teases.
"Wait really?" Blaine is confused. "We just didn't want to be rude and wake you up at the crack of dawn."
"Oh please, Rachel is just anxious as you to find out if the IVF took. Possibly more anxious, if such a thing is even possible. She's been up since 5:30 this morning pacing around the apartment. I told her she had to wait for you to get here to take the test but she's really antsy. Consider yourselves warned." Jesse gives Blaine a pat on the back and leads them towards the bedroom where Rachel is waiting.
"Finally!" she cheers the second she lays eyes on them. "Did you bring the test?"
"Yeah," Kurt nods, holding up a bag from the local drugstore. "We weren't sure which brand was best so we just got one of each."
"Okay wonderful, let's get this show on the road," Rachel claps her hands together. "I've already had two glasses of orange juice this morning so I have to pee like a racehorse."
"Good to know," Kurt laughs as he hands her the bag of pregnancy tests.
"Does it matter which one I start with first?" she asks as she digs through the half dozen or so boxes in the bag.
"Here," Blaine offers, taking the bag from her. He pulls out a small pink and blue box labeled 'Clearblue Easy Plus.' "The pharmacist at the drugstore said this was their highest selling one, so I figured it's probably pretty accurate."
"Great," Rachel smiles encouragingly as she takes the test from him. "I'm going to go in there and do my business really quick and then you guys can join me and we'll start the timer, okay?"
Kurt and Blaine nod in unison, too nervous for words.
"Deep breaths, boys! I have a really good feeling about this. I swear I'm bloated already." Rachel disappears into the bathroom with a wave.
The three minutes they have to wait for the test results to appear are without a doubt the longest three minutes of their lives. Kurt passes the time pacing the length of the bathroom while Blaine and Rachel hold hands and try to keep breathing. When the timer Blaine set on his phone goes off, all three of them jump a mile. They decide to let Rachel do the honors and look at the test since Blaine's pretty sure he'd throw up if he had to tell everyone the news. Jesse joins them in the bathroom, taking Rachel's hand as they pick up the test together. Before they even read the results out loud, Blaine knows it's good news. He can read the shock and delight written all over Rachel's face.
"You're going to be daddies!" Rachel squeals, holding up the test that unmistakeably reads 'pregnant.'
Kurt grabs Blaine with such force it nearly knocks him off his feet. He throws his arms around Kurt's neck, holding on for dear life as they jump up and down together. Rachel and Jesse are celebrating in their own way as Jesse holds her close, stroking her still flat stomach reverently.
Kurt pulls back so he can look into Blaine's eyes. He wipes the happy tears from his cheeks before kissing him sweetly. "We did it," he whispers against Blaine's lips as they part.
"We did." Blaine isn't sure if he's laughing, crying, or both.
"Oh my god, Rachel, thank you!" Blaine adds as he starts to come back to his senses. He envelops her in a long hug, eyes welling with grateful tears. He watches Kurt do the same thing with Jesse, knowing that he's making almost as big a sacrifice as Rachel in order to realize their dreams. After a minute or two, they swap and Blaine hugs Jesse, thanking him profusely for everything again.
When they finally all come up for air, Jesse's are the only dry eyes in the room. "I'll go grab the tissues," he laughs as he looks at their teary faces.
"I would suggest we celebrate with mimosas but it looks like I won't be drinking for the next nine months," Rachel says as she wipes her eyes.
Blaine feels his stomach lurch unexpectedly at the thought. That's his baby in there and everything Rachel eats or drinks or does will affect its growth. The idea is so overwhelming that he needs to sit down.
"Right, no mimosas but we brought bagels," Kurt offers. "They are out in the kitchen, if you're hungry?"
"Starving, actually!"
"Are bagels healthy enough?" Blaine can't help but ask. "I should have done more research on prenatal nutrition already, crap. There's so much I don't know."
Kurt takes Blaine's hand in his. "We've got time. Deep breaths, B."
Blaine spends the first half of their impromptu breakfast on his phone, needing to be sure that he knows enough to ensure his fetus isn't accidentally poisoned mere weeks into its development. It turns out bagels are an excellent meal for a mother-to-be since they are made up of bland carbohydrates which tend to trigger morning sickness the least. But Blaine tells Rachel to forgo the lox toping since certain kinds of fish can contain high levels of mercury. He also cautions against a poppyseed bagel since apparently they can contain trace levels of opium? Blaine nearly fell off the barstool in shock when he'd read that. The idea that the normal foods they consume on a daily basis can be toxic death traps for his future child is making his head spin and wonder what other dangers he needs to guard Rachel against. He knows he's going to spend the next nine months in a frantic Wikipedia surfing, baby proofing frenzy.
Twelve Weeks In
Blaine and Kurt hold hands in the waiting room, trying to focus on the positives and not dwell on the negative possibilities. Today is a big day, without a doubt the biggest they've faced as new parents to be. Right now they are waiting while Rachel gets changed into a gown and settled in the ultrasound suite before they will join her for the very first glimpse of their baby. It's been a long twelve weeks to wait to see their little miracle, especially given the difficult decision they made not to share that they are expecting until Rachel reached the end of the first trimester. Since most miscarriages happen early on, they know that making it until now without any signs of distress is a very good omen. But still, it's hard not to worry something could go wrong. There's always the chance that there could be a fetal growth or developmental anomaly. Since two embryos were transferred, there's also the possibility that Rachel could be expecting twins which would make for a high risk pregnancy with its own unique set of possible challenges and complications.
Blaine was cut off from WedMD, BabyCenter, and Wikipedia by Kurt two weeks ago after Kurt found him in the living room hunched over his laptop at 4 am crying over possible teratogen exposure. Since then, Kurt's been put in charge of baby research and Blaine confines his daily readings to 'What to Expect When You're Expecting' and a few parenting books he'd ordered off of Amazon. He's felt a little calmer since then but that doesn't keep him from texting Rachel several times a day to check on how she's feeling, what she's eating, and how she's coping with the morning sickness.
"Okay, you two can join me now," an ultrasound technician calls to them as she opens the door to the back of the clinic. Kurt and Blaine join hands and follow her down a long hallway and into a small, dark room. Rachel's laying on an exam table in a pink paper gown. Off to her right side is an ultrasound machine hooked up to a monitor. The technician sits down on a small stool next to Rachel and begins adjusting the machine to her specifications.
"Are you guys the fathers?" she asks. "Rachel was just telling me how she's the surrogate."
"Yes, we are," Kurt smiles nervously.
"Is this your first ultrasound?" she asks.
"It is," Blaine nods. "We're so excited."
"Nervous too, in case you couldn't tell," Kurt adds. Blaine squeezes his hand a little and wills them both to breathe.
"No need to be nervous, we're just going to take a peek at your little one and see how he or she is getting along." The technician pulls up Rachel's gown to expose her stomach. She's just beginning to show the tiniest hint of bump that's barely noticeable under her stage costumes. Starting next month, Rachel will be going on hiatus from 'Jane Austen Sings' and allowing her understudy to take over. She's still planning to do some acting work here and there, but nothing quite so taxing as a starring Broadway role that requires her to sing and dance through eight grueling shows a week. They are all looking forward to her getting the chance to put her feet up and slow things down for a while.
"We won't be finding out the gender today, right?" Blaine asks. He's already pretty sure of the answer from his research but likes the reassurance of having a professional agree.
"That's correct. We can't really reliably determine that until about twenty weeks along. When you leave today, we'll schedule a time for that ultrasound." She turns back to Rachel. "Sorry, this gel is a little cool," she warns as she begins to smooth the ultrasound wand over her stomach.
Kurt and Blaine slowly inch their way closer to the monitor, not wanting to miss a single second of the experience. Blaine takes Rachel's hand because he feels like he should. Being able to touch her and know that his baby is inside makes it feel more real somehow and he finds that very comforting. Kurt's still holding tight to his other hand and Blaine feels like his heart could possibly burst with all the love he can feel surrounding him. They're a family, soon to be made whole by the arrival of this new life.
"Okay," the ultrasound technician nods approvingly. "Looks like we are going to get some great pictures today because the little one is up and kicking!" She turns a dial and suddenly the room is filled with a fast whooshing noise. "That's the baby's heartbeat," she says.
Blaine gasps with shock. The baby's heartbeat is galloping along, hummingbird fast. It feels as if his own heart is trying to match the beat as it pounds wildly in his chest.
"It's so fast," Kurt breathes, eyes wide with shock as well.
"That's totally normal," she reassures. "Average fetal heart rate at this age is between 130-190 beats per minutes. Your baby's is right in the middle at 165 which is perfect. Right where we want it to be."
"Oh my god," Rachel coos, exchanging excited glances with Kurt and Blaine. "I can't believe it. This is so amazing."
"Do you have any names picked out for the baby yet? Or nicknames?" the technician asks.
"We've been calling her 'Bird' or 'Birdy' a lot. Obviously, that's just a nickname since we wouldn't actually name our child that," Kurt clarifies.
"Well okay then, ready to see some pictures of Little Birdy?"
"Yes, of course," Blaine chokes out. They all watch the grainy black and white images on the monitor with growing interest. The ultrasound tech repositions her wand several times until the picture starts to come into clearer focus.
"Okay, so this area here is the uterus," she explains, pointing to the large oval that makes up most of the screen. Inside, there's a smaller circular shape that Blaine can see moving ever so slightly. "And this here is your baby's head." She traces the outline on the monitor. "Down here are Birdy's arms. See how's she kinda waving them at you?"
"She is," Kurt breathes. "Hi," he whispers to the image.
"And these are Birdy's legs down here just kicking away. Probably won't be that long until you'll start feeling those kicks," she tells Rachel.
"Oh my god, I can't wait," Rachel is wide eyed. "I can't wait for you to get to feel that too," she adds, squeezing Blaine's hand.
"I'm going to do a couple of quick growth measurements but everything looks really great so far. Look's like you have a very strong, healthy baby. I don't see any areas of concern. I'll go ahead and print out a few pictures from the ultrasound since I'm sure you are ready to have a picture of Birdy to show off to the world."
"I can't wait to show them to Dad and Carole," Kurt beams. "They are literally going to die with shock."
"I'm sure Mama and Cooper are going to freak out too. That's going to be a fun surprise to drop in their laps," Blaine giggles.
"Okay, all done!" the technician announces. She hands Blaine and Kurt a stack of photos. "I'll help Rachel get up and she can get dressed and meet you out front. We can schedule the twenty week ultrasound at the front desk."
Blaine and Kurt stumble down the hall, too lost in gazing at the photos of their baby to pay much attention to where they are walking. "I think she has your nose," Blaine coos. "Assuming that's her nose and not her hand or something. It's kinda hard to tell."
"Man, you are really certain it's a girl, huh?" Kurt asks. "That's like the tenth time you've said 'her' today."
"That's what my gut tells me," Blaine shrugs. "I'll be happy either way as long as she or he is healthy. Why, do you think it's a boy?"
"I'm not sure," Kurt says. "I could go either way." He pulls his phone out of his pocket. "Okay, I seriously cannot wait another second. Do you mind if I call my dad now and tell him the good news?"
"No, of course not. We've waited twelve whole weeks. Go for it." Blaine watches Kurt dial the number and wait impatiently as the call connects.
"Dad?" Kurt says into the phone. "What are you up to right now?" Kurt nods several times, rolling his eyes impatiently while he listens to Burt explain something Blaine assumes is work related.
"Well, Blaine and I have big news for you..." he finally says.
Blaine holds his breath as he watches Kurt pause to draw out the suspense. He's always had a flair for the dramatic, he thinks with a fond shake of the head.
"I hope you are ready to be a grandpa, because Blaine and I are expecting!" Kurt finally shrieks into the phone.
Blaine's eyebrows shoot up as he hears Burt's delighted cheer through the phone. He can hear him calling for Carole to share the good news. Blaine looks over to see Kurt's eyes welling with happy tears and he throws an arm around his shoulder to pull his husband close.
He detaches himself from Kurt when Rachel breezes through the doorway to the waiting room a few minutes later. "Feeling okay?" he asks her out of habit.
"Of course, I'm on cloud nine. How about you, Daddy?" she asks.
"I'm so excited I could burst," he squeaks. "Thank you, Rachel."
"I told you, silly, you don't have to keep thanking me. I'm honored to carry the future Birdy Anderson-Hummel." She links arms with him. "Did you catch the cheeks on the little one?" she asks, gesturing towards the ultrasound photo. "The three of us sure do make some beautiful babies!"
Twenty Weeks In
"Okay okay, if I can have everyone's attention for a moment. I'd like to make a toast before we get to the big news everyone is here to find out," Burt calls to the small crowd of friends and family gathered in Kurt and Blaine's apartment. He holds up his glass of sparkling white grape juice and waits until the room quiets down and all the focus is on him.
"When I got the call eight weeks ago from Kurt that I was going to be a grandfather, I was honestly so shocked I could barely speak. And I think as those of you who know us Hummel men well can attest to, we aren't lost for words very often," Burt begins. There's a rumble of appreciative laughter through the crowd.
"One of the first things I mourned when I realized that Kurt was gay was the idea of the life I wasn't sure he'd get a chance to lead. I'd always imagined the day I'd watch him fall in love, marry the love of his life, and settle down to start a family. When Kurt told me he loved boys and not girls, I was woefully ignorant of how full and happy the life of a gay man could be. It seems so silly to look back on it now because love is love, whether that's a man and a woman, like Carole and I, or two men like my son Kurt and his husband. But at the time, I didn't have the knowledge I do now. I wasn't sure if Kurt would find acceptance or love, especially in a place like Lima, Ohio that's not known for being particularly accepting of those who are different. But I needn't have worried because my amazing, strong, brave son battled through bullying and homophobia and death threats determined not to let the experience change him. He wasn't going to silenced or suppressed. He wasn't going to let anyone tell him that he wasn't worthy of finding true love and acceptance, despite the obstacles put his path. And thankfully, he was right to be so persistent because he found his soulmate at the time when he needed him most. And I've never stopped being grateful for you, Blaine, for seeing what others couldn't. For helping my son stand up to those idiots who wanted to beat him down. For recognizing, Kurt's strength and courage and matching it with your own," Burt turns to raise his glass to Blaine who's beaming through tears.
"Now I won't say that Kurt and Blaine have always had the easiest time of it, as I'm sure all their high school friends here can attest to," Burt continues, drawing more laughs from the crowd. "Their love was messy and imperfect, like all good things are. But one thing I never doubted was the love they had for one another. And I think Carole and I always knew that that love would carry them through the hard times. We knew they would find their way back to one another eventually. We just had to give them a little push to get there. And now here we are, five years later, with them happily married and getting ready to find out the gender of their first child and our first grandchild."
"But before we get to the big news, we need to take a moment to recognize two other people who have sacrificed so much to help our family achieve this little miracle," Burt smiles and reaches out his hand to welcome Carole up to stand beside him. "Rachel and Jesse, Carole really wanted to be the one to express our gratitude and she's the better public speaker of the two of us by a long shot, so I'm going to let her talk now. Just know that everything she says comes from my heart as well."
Burt puts his arm around Carole's shoulder. She takes a deep breath and begins to address the crowd. "Rachel, from the very first time I met you, I knew you were a force of nature to be reckoned with. It wasn't long before I knew you were going to be part of my family." Carole's voice begins to shake with emotion. "At first, I thought that you were destined to be my daughter-in-law and I hope you know that I was honored by how much you loved Finn. You meant the world to him and all a mother wants is to see her son as happy as you made Finn. Sadly, your love couldn't last, but I know a little part of Finn lives on in you, which makes the fact that you are carrying our very first grandchild so very precious."
Carole stops to wipe her eyes and try to compose herself. "And Jesse, I want you to know how grateful we are for you and how you've loved and taken care of Rachel throughout these years. We realize that you also made a sacrifice in letting your wife spend nine months carrying someone else's baby. That's not a sacrifice that any man makes lightly, especially when the health of his wife is at stake. Thank you for loving Rachel enough and for loving Kurt and Blaine enough to make that sacrifice. You two have helped make my family feel whole again in a way it hasn't since we lost Finn. Of course, nothing can ever replace him, but I'm looking forward to this new beginning as a family. Because all four of you are our family now."
Kurt and Blaine are both soggy messes of emotion by the time Carole has finished her speech. Blaine looks over and is not surprised to see Rachel in floods of tears as well. She cries at the drop of the hat these days due to the onslaught of pregnancy hormones. But more surprising is seeing the usually unflappable Jesse St. James red-faced and crying. "Guess he isn't made of stone after all," Kurt whispers into Blaine's ear, leading him to burst into a slightly hysterical fit of laugh-crying.
They all step up to the front of the room so they can embrace Burt and Carole one by one as their friends clap and cheer adoringly. Once everyone has been thoroughly hugged, Burt silences the crowd once more. "Okay, so who's ready to find out if we're having a boy or a girl?" he calls.
"Okay everyone, you were all given a little paddle when you came to the party today," Carole adds. "One side is pink and the other is blue. If you think Kurt and Blaine's first child will be a boy, hold up the blue side. Otherwise, hold up the pink side."
Kurt holds his paddle blue side up, drawing an approving nod from Burt who does the same. Blaine and Carole also line up as they are both convinced it's a girl. Rachel and Jesse also vote for a girl, while Sam, Tina, Artie, and Quinn are all convinced it's a boy. When the final numbers are tallied up, it's a near even split: 10 votes for a girl and 9 for a boy.
"Okay, so now the moment of truth!" Burt announces. Kurt and Blaine walk over to the cake platter in the middle of the table. They'd asked the ultrasound technician to write the gender of the baby down on a slip of paper and seal it in an envelope. Then that envelope had been delivered directly to the baker who would die the inside of the cake pink or blue accordingly. Once they cut into the cake, they'd know if they were having a boy or a girl. Blaine felt like he might burst from the suspense.
"3-2-1," everyone counts down and then Blaine and Kurt are awkwardly pressing down on the cake knife together. They ease the slice out of the cake, revealing the bright pink sponge cake inside. "It's a girl!" Blaine cheers.
"A girl?" Carole gasps happily. "I told you!" she crows to Burt, smacking him on the upper arm.
"A girl?" Kurt breathes, hands shaking as he drops the slice of cake onto a paper plate. "I can't believe it."
"Are you happy?" Blaine can't help but ask.
"Of course, of course I am. It's just...a girl?!" Kurt can't help but repeat. Somehow knowing that little detail changes everything and this whole parenting journey just became that much more real.
Eight Months In
"We're here, we're here," Blaine announces as he stumbles into the hospital just after 3 am. "Jesse, where is she? Is everything okay?" he manages.
"Everything's fine, just take a deep breath," Jesse reassures him, patting his arm gently. "Where's Kurt?"
"He's parking the car. They wouldn't let him leave it outside under the emergency awning even though we tried to tell the security guard this is an emergency," Blaine's eyes are wild and he can't stop fidgeting. "It's too soon. What if the baby is too premature and has breathing problems or needs to stay in the NICU for weeks? I couldn't bear that, oh god."
"Blaine, Blaine, stop. Just breathe, okay? No one said the baby is coming tonight. Rachel was just having some contractions and when she called the OB, she recommended coming in just to make sure everything was going well. But I'm sure it's nothing to worry about," Jesse soothes.
"Is she back there now? Have you heard anything yet?" Blaine can't help but ask.
"Yes, she's back in the ER now. They wanted to get her settled and then they said they'd let one person go back there to see her at a time. The nurse will come get us when it's time." Jesse leads Blaine over to a quiet alcove in the waiting room. "Come sit down. There's nothing we can do right now but wait."
Kurt bursts into the lobby a few minutes later, cheeks pink from the cold and running through the parking lot. "Where is she? Is she okay? What's happening?" he asks in a rush, every bit as panicked and emotional as Blaine. Jesse quickly repeats the same set of facts to Kurt and encourages him to breathe just as he had commanded Blaine.
"Do you realize you have your shirt on inside out?" Jesse can't help but point out to Kurt. "And Blaine, you've got toothpaste all over your chin."
"Shit," Kurt hisses. "We got dressed in kind of a hurry, if you hadn't figured."
"I'd noticed," Jesse laughs.
Blaine can't help but look Jesse up and down, noting with no small amount of envy that he's as perfectly coiffed and groomed as ever. "How are you not freaking out right now?" Blaine asks him, almost suspiciously.
"Well, for starters, it's not my baby in there," Jesse answers.
"Yeah, but it is your wife's uterus," Kurt frowns.
Jesse rolls his eyes. "I guess I just see this as a trial run for the family Rachel and I want to start someday soon. A chance to work out all the kinks and adjust to all the changes that bringing a life into the world provides."
"Glad we could play guinea pigs for you," Blaine huffs.
"Hey, that's not fair," Jesse shoots back. "Do you think it's been all fun and games living with a hormonal, over-emotional mess of a wife for these last eight months? Do you not think I miss the old Rachel every moment of every day? Do you not realize how long it's been since we've been able to have sex?"
"Jesse shh, keep your voice down," Kurt hisses as several people turn to stare.
"Well then, don't act like this only affects the two of you because it doesn't, okay? And for your fucking information, I'm terrified too. I'm just as scared that something bad will happen and I'll lose the love of my life." And then Jesse's crying.
"Shit," Blaine gasps, exchanging a horrified look with Kurt.
"I'm sorry," Kurt rushes to apologize. "We're both sorry, we shouldn't have been so hard on you. Of course this is hard for you too. Of course it is." He tentatively reaches out a hand and places it on Jesse's shoulder, unsure if he'll accept the comfort or not. Jesse keeps his head in his lap, but makes no move to shrink off Kurt's touch. So the three of them sit in silence, marking time only by the ticking of the clock on the opposite wall and Jesse's periodic sniffles.
"I'm looking for the family of Rachel Berry?" a nurse calls out as she enters the waiting room about twenty minutes later.
"That's us," Blaine announces, waving her over. "Is everything okay?"
"She's resting comfortably now. I can bring one of you back there if you'd like to see her and talk to the doctor yourself?" she offers, looking at the three of them as if she can't hazard a guess as to their relationship.
"Jesse, did you want to?" Kurt asks gently. He shakes his head.
"Why don't you go then, Blaine?" Kurt suggests. "I'll stay here with Jesse."
Blaine nods and slowly gets to his feet, reluctantly prying his hand from Kurt's grasp. He follows the nurse down a long corridor and into a treatment room. Rachel's lying on a gurney, propped up on pillows. She looks tired but not a lot worse for the wear. Blaine assumes from the lack of people crowding around her that her condition must not be dire. Or at least he hopes that's the case.
"Hey Rach," he greets her, leaning over to give her a hug. "How are you feeling?"
"Oh fine," she sighs. "I'm sorry if I scared you guys over nothing,"
"What do you mean, nothing? Jesse said you were having contractions? That's not nothing. I'm glad you came to get everything checked out," Blaine soothes.
"Well, they think I was probably having Braxton-Hicks contractions which are basically false labor. They sure do hurt like the real things though! If I was ever on the fence about getting an epidural, I'm not anymore," she laughs.
"So the baby's okay?" Blaine asks, looking to the nurse for reassurance.
"We're waiting for an OB to come down and do an ultrasound just to double check that everything still looks okay," she explains. "But the baby's heart rate is strong and not showing any decelerations and Rachel's blood pressure and other vital signs look good. The contractions seem to have quieted down since we've had her here and have been giving her fluids." The nurse gestures to the IV that Rachel's hooked up to and Blaine can't help but wince in sympathy.
"That all sounds really good," Blaine states tentatively. "If all the tests come back normal, then what?"
"We would release her to go home at that point and we'd just recommend that she rest more and try to stay well hydrated. You should also call your OB for a follow-up appointment because she might have additional recommendations or restrictions," the nurse patiently spells out.
"That's great," Blaine sighs in relief. "Thank you so much." He shakes the nurse's hand even though what he really wants to do is hug her.
"Of course, happy to help. Rachel, if I can get you anything, just hit the call button, okay?"
"Thanks, Rhonda," Rachel waves as she shuts the door behind them.
"You okay?" she asks Blaine, seeing how badly his hands are shaking.
"Aren't I supposed to be asking you that? You're the patient after all," he giggles. "I'm okay," he adds after a minute. "I am now."
"How are our husbands holding up?" Rachel prods.
"Uhh, not quite as well as us, if I'm being totally honest," Blaine admits.
"Kurt's really worried, huh?"
"Jesse too," Blaine says.
"Really?" Rachel is stunned. "That surprises me. He's been such a rock this whole time..."
"Well, we might, uh, be partially to blame for his breakdown," Blaine hesitantly concedes. "He was just so calm and we were so panicked that we might have implied that he didn't really care what happened?"
Rachel winces. "He really does, you know? He cares about you guys so much."
"And he loves you a ridiculous amount. I know, it was wrong of us to ever suggest otherwise. I feel horrible that we added to his stress," Blaine can't apologize profusely enough.
"This process is hard on everyone," Rachel grants. "We all handle the stress in our own ways. But what matters is that your little bluebird is still alive and kicking up a storm in here and we're getting so close to the finish line."
Blaine lets out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. "Yes, that's what counts."
Nine Months In
"Everyone smile for the camera and say daddies," Jesse calls, holding a small GoPro camera trained on Blaine, Kurt, and Rachel.
"Jesse, I swear to god if that camera is still on when I start my next contraction, I'm going to break it. Now get over here and hold my hand," Rachel groans.
"Duty calls," Jesse laughs and steps over to Rachel's bedside. "But don't worry, guys. I got some really great footage," he adds, looking at Kurt and Blaine.
"Only my husband would insist on directing my birth," she grumbles to Kurt as he hands her a cup of ice chips.
"He just wants to be involved," Blaine smiles. "I think it's sweet."
"Easy for you to say when you aren't the one sweating like a pig and getting ready to squeeze a bowling ball out of your lady bits!"
"You aren't sweating like a pig, Rach. You're glowing," Blaine soothes, patting at her forehead this a damp washcloth.
"Ohh, that feels nice," she sighs appreciatively. "I'm so hot."
"Can I get you anything else, Rachel?" Kurt asks.
"Uhh, maybe another one of those Italian ice thingies? The lemon flavor, thanks," she smiles.
"Okay, I'm on it," Kurt nods. "Blaine, hold down the fort until I get back from the nurse's station?"
Blaine gives him a salute, laughing a little at how much it feels like they are running a military operation.
"Okay Rach, here comes another contraction," Jesse warns, staring at the printout on the monitor.
Blaine and Jesse both man their respective stations. Jesse lets Rachel grip his hand until his fingers turn white while Blaine holds a small electric fan in front of her face and dabs the sweat from her cheeks and forehead in turn. Blaine and Jesse both find themselves echoing her lamaze breathing unconsciously. Somewhere in the past few hours they'd started to find a rhythm to keeping Rachel focused and as comfortable as possible given that she's nearly dilated to ten centimeters and ready to begin pushing any time now. Blaine's just grateful that they'd gotten the hang of things in time to carry Rachel through the worst of the last hour, especially after the setback that her progressing too quickly for an epidural turned out to be.
"Okay, I'm back, how's everyone doing?" Kurt bursts into the room a minute or two later, just as Rachel is starting to come down from her contraction.
"Better now that that's over," she manages breathlessly, utterly spent.
"Do you want a few bites now?" Kurt asks, holding up the frozen treat.
Before Rachel can reply, the OB enters the room. "Well, it looks like someone is ready to start pushing and get this baby out into the world. Is everyone ready?"
Kurt drops the Italian ice on the nearest available surface and rushes over to Blaine's side. He takes his hand and they both find themselves willing one another to breathe.
"Yes Dr. Williams, let's get this little missy out of me immediately," Rachel practically cheers. "I've had about all the being pregnant I can stand!"
"One more push, Rachel. She's so close. I can see her head," Dr. Williams encourages half an hour later.
Rachel moans and crushes Jesse's hand. On her other side, Kurt helps support her head as she takes a deep breath and gives one final push.
The whole room goes utterly still and quiet for what feels like the longest moment of Blaine and Kurt's life before there's a tiny, wavering cry. Blaine looks down in shock just in time to see the doctor lift up a pink, squirming bundle.
"It's a girl," Dr. Williams announces as she wraps the baby in a dry towel.
Blaine and Kurt both step forward and take in the hint of downy soft brown curls and pink bow-shaped lips. The baby stretches out one hand and Blaine feels his heart stop because he's certain his daughter is reaching for him. "Do you have a name picked out?" the doctor asks as she carefully hands the baby to Blaine, while Kurt carefully strokes her hair. "Clara," Blaine all but sobs. "Clara Elizabeth Anderson-Hummel."
"Hi," Blaine coos, as Clara stirs a little in his arms. "Welcome to the world, little bluebird."
"I'm your Papa," Kurt whispers reverently to his daughter. "And this is your Daddy." He carefully guides Blaine and Clara towards the bed. "And over here are your Auntie Rachel and Uncle Jesse," he adds.
"Oh my god, she's absolutely perfect," Rachel beams back, utterly exhausted but content.
"Thank you," Blaine breathes. "Oh god, thank you so much."
"I couldn't be happier for you two," she sniffles. "Clara, your daddies love you so much. You are so lucky to have them."
Kurt stops for a moment to just gaze at his family. He thinks back on the last nine months and the twenty seven years that came before it. He thinks about the people he's loved and lost, like his mother and stepbrother, though he knows they are smiling down on him right now. He's never been one for organized religion, but he knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that they've protected and shepherded this new life into existence. He's just certain of it, down to his very core. He couldn't have imagined things going any better if he'd written it all himself.
Finally, he looks back at Blaine still lovingly cradling their baby daughter, singing to her as she yawns and wriggles. The peace and certainty and wholeness that he feels just watching the two people he loves most in the world get to know one another for the first time is so startling, yet so right, he wonders how he ever lived without it. Not wanting to waste another moment without starting his new life, his new role, his new mission, he joins Blaine once more, singing to his daughter until she's falling asleep on his chest for the first time.
Oh, I could hide 'neath the wings Cheer up, sleepy jean.
Of the bluebird as she sings.
The six o'clock alarm would never ring.
But it rings and I rise,
Wipe the sleep out of my eyes.
The shavin' razor's cold and it stings.
Oh, what can it mean.
To a daydream believer
And a homecoming queen.