A/N: First chapter of "Express Yourself" the sequel to "I'm Yours" is now here! Summary: Kouji and Zoe struggle with whether or not they should have sex to strengthen their relationship. With a side helping of other drama of course ;) The characters may seem a little OOC in this first chapter but it is only the first chapter so bear with me! Please read and enjoy!
"Alright, enough is enough!" A loud voice snapped through the air, separating the kissing couple like a thrown javelin.
"Huh?" Zoe asked, looking dazed as she always did after a particularly passionate kiss. Kouji just looked annoyed, glaring fiercely over at the intruder and not bothering to release her from his close embrace.
"This is the third time this week that I've seen you two making out in public," Takuya accused looking slightly green as Zoe blushed, pushing Kouji away from her gently. He sighed and stepped back from his position of pinning her aggressively against her locker. He'd been really enjoying that particular make out to…
"So?" He asked and Takuya rolled his eyes, wondering vaguely if the dark haired boy's bandana was smothering his thoughts.
"Public, Kouji. You're not supposed to make everyone walking by throw up," Colette teased, looping her arm through her off-and-on boyfriend's. Right now his goggles were strapped across her head marking them as on again but next time they argued she'd probably throw them in the middle of the street to be run over.
Takuya was a hot head and she wasn't exactly shy so they fought often but he was also nuts about her so he sold a little more of his pride every time in exchange for her forgiveness. Really it was sort of cute, except for the part where Zoe had to listen to her rant and cry over the phone every time.
"Sorry," She said with the decency to look a little embarrassed but Kouji looked unperturbed.
"It's not my fault if people are jealous. They can stare at us making out if they want to, it's not my problem," He said in typical Kouji fashion, arm still around his girl's waist.
"But three times? Isn't that excessive even for you guys?" Takuya begged.
"Maybe a little," She admitted for them and Kouji didn't say anything, too proud to admit he was right.
"What's going on?" A new voice asked and Kouji glanced over, recognizing his brothers voice as he approached, dark hair falling messily around his face as though he had run his hands through it many times but his blue eyes were bright despite their dark color.
He took one look at the couple's rumpled clothing, Takuya's tortured expression and Zoe's noticeable blush then said, "I take it they're at it again?" Takuya nodded painfully and Colette giggled as Kouji rolled his eyes.
"What are we, the only couple in this school who makes out in the hallway? How is that a legendary event?" He grumbled and Zoe smiled slipping her hand in his and allowing him to weave their fingers together. It brought him some comfort to know that she'd stand by him even if she was embarrassed.
"Not exactly legendary other then the fact that it's you two," His brother explained smoothly and Kouji flinched knowing what that meant.
"What so because we've been together for a long time means we can't make out? That logic is pretty convoluted if you ask me," Zoe said, covering for him once again. His gut twisted, feeling guilty though his face gave nothing away and he'd never admit it.
Of course that was part of the problem. Even talking about how long they had been together was embarrassing to him, though almost a year was nothing to turn your nose up at. It wasn't that he thought it was a bad thing, his feelings for her had if anything become stronger while they dated but he still couldn't bring himself to talk about this fluffy romantic stuff with anyone but her.
It had started off with him getting better and better with expressing himself, but eventually it hit a plateau that he had no way of crossing even when it was just the two of them alone. For the past couple of months she had been patiently waiting but he knew her patience was running out and he was desperate to find a way to get over this dry patch much as he had before they started dating.
He had been able to advance when he found out she liked him…but what was he supposed to use for motivation this time? They were already dating!
"That's not what I meant," Kouichi said quickly, not wanting to piss off his emotionally bipolar twin brother. Kouji could go from docile to dangerous in a matter of seconds with the right aggravation, especially if it involved Zoe.
"Just that after being together so long, some people might expect you to take that home with you," He said suggestively and she looked confused, mouth pursed in thought as she frowned.
"Good idea," Kouji agreed sarcastically, giving his brother a look before grabbing her bag and shouldering it before dragging her away.
"Kouji I promised my parents I'd do my homework before coming over today!" She protested and he glanced back to give her a small smile, waiting for her to catch up. He was getting better at expressing himself that way at least.
"I know," He said with a small chuckled as they rounded the corner from their friends, two of which looked cheesed. You'd think they'd be as used to Kouichi was with his abrupt exits but it still annoyed Takuya and Colette actually wanted to talk to her friend.
She'd been so busy lately keeping Kouji's ever growing need sated she had no time for her friends. She sighed, knowing it wasn't fair to be mad at her friend. It was thanks to her boyfriend that she was with Takuya now, and whenever they had really big fights, it was usually up to one of the love-doves as they were dubbed to get them back together again.
But she also knew Zoe was troubled over this whole physical expression and lack of emotional expression thing. They'd talked about it over the phone but Colette had no answers for her, she didn't understand what her friend was going through and as bad as she felt, there was nothing she could do about it either.
"I just wanted to get away from there, I thought Takuya was going to explode," Kouji said with a sigh, pulling her close for a hug.
"I didn't want to say goodbye to you in front of all of them," He added, trying his best to use his words. Ugh, that made him sound like a three year old who was learning to say please pass the potatoes. It wasn't like that at all; it just wasn't in his nature to speak his thoughts aloud.
"Because…?" She prompted pulling back a little though she was secretly thrilled with the hug. Lately it had been kissing and more kissing. All she could think about when they weren't together was kissing and when they were together that seemed to be all they did. He seemed to be feeling the same way and she was hoping he'd be able to explain it better then she could.
"Because, Takuya's been riding me all week about making out in public. I don't know why he cares," He said, frowning slightly. "I'm sorry if it's bothering you," He added as an afterthought, looking down at her with a soft look of caring in his eyes.
She smiled, cheeks tinted pink as he came as close as he could to those three magic words. It was one of the many things that made her love him no matter what. He never apologized if he didn't mean it, and when he did choose to apologize he wasn't vague. For example, he didn't say he was sorry that they had been so physical lately, because he wasn't. He was sorry if it was bothering her though.
"I guess it's bothering me a little…but it's not just you," She admitted sheepishly.
"Lately I've been feeling so crazy, I just don't know what to do," She sighed and he slid his hand under her chin, raising her head to kiss her cheek gently though he wanted to do much more than that. He did have some self control.
"We'll figure it out," He assured her with that small smile that whispered a million sweet nothings into her ears and made her glow on the inside. It also made her want to throw herself into his arms and kiss him senseless which definitely would not be appropriate for the school hallways. Maybe Takuya had a point. Was that possible…?
…
"Kouji," She said breathlessly tongue tangling with his as she said his name. Her tone and her actions sent shudders up his body and he felt himself getting dangerously close to 'the limit' as she scraped her nails along his bare chest, shirt having been discarded a long time ago.
"We should stop," He gasped, pulling away from her addictive kiss, resisting with all his might against giving her another hickie. If Takuya was on their case for making out the whole school would probably crash and burn if she came to school with another obvious sign of their after school activities.
Her parents had even picked up on it, insisting she got any and all work done before allowing them to be together. This more than anything else made him feel guilty enough that he pushed away from her a little, relaxing his manacle grip on her hands that were pressed to the bed by her head.
Those half lidded eyes and seductive expression though…damn, it was impossible to sit like this and not be turned on. Closing her eyes completely she forced a nod and he rolled off of her, staggering away from the bed on jelly legs before collapsing in his rolling chair that skid across the floor a little, too exhausted to stop it.
"Sorry," He finally muttered, trying to stop the painful thumping of his heart and his ragged breathing.
"No you're not," She teased light heartedly, rolling on her side to prop herself up on one elbow as she smiled at him, despite the exhausted expression on her face. He directed his eyes away from the cleavage that appeared when she did that, not needing anymore incentive to jump her again.
"Yes I am," He concluded, looking her in the eyes, desire still shining in his dark gaze.
"Why?" She asked casually while she sat up but he just let out a large sigh, too exhausted to play this game of 'express yourself'.
"Just because, Zoe," He told her and she frowned, about to argue when there was a knock on the door.
"Just a minute," He called just in case it was his mother, throwing on his t-shirt to cover to the slight marks her nails had left and the shine of perspiration. He glanced her way as she ran her hands through her blond hair that she had cut over the past year, falling in layers just to her shoulders. Lucky for him, the wild tangles his hands made during their more heated moments were easily hidden by the layers.
When they were both decent he called a casual, "Come in." Kouichi walked in and they both relaxed though he looked nervous. He only relaxed when he saw them separate.
"Finished today's marathon?" He asked teasingly, knowing it would embarrass his brother though he felt a little bad for Zoe who got the brunt of it. Kouji liked to tease that thanks to him they were both in better shape than they had been since the digital world.
"None of your business," He replied quickly, looking away to hide the awkward flush that Kouichi took as a sign that he had successfully flustered him, a personal goal of his. To be fair, Kouji wasn't an easy person to embarrass.
"I'll take it you're only starting then. I'll leave you guys alone then," He said raising an eyebrow at them in what might have been surprise, disappointment or awe that they were still 'only starting'. He turned to go but Zoe bit her lip, fighting with herself and he hesitated just long enough for her to make up her mind, knowing she had something to say.
"Kouichi!" She called and he stopped, not bothering to hide his gentle smile as he turned back to her, hands tucked casually in his jean pockets.
"Yes Zoe?" He asked and Kouji sent him a small glare that reminded him not to tease her.
"I was just wondering…Takuya's been on our case a lot lately, you know with the whole PDA thing. It's not really any of his business but he keeps acting like there's something he wants to say and then not saying it. Do you, you know, know what has him so weird?" She asked awkwardly and Kouji looked at her with a mix of guilt and surprise. Those were the words he had said to her and she had just repeated them to Kouichi knowing he wouldn't.
"I'd like to know to," He muttered and the way her face brightened made it so much more worth it. He let out a silent breath of relief. Wonderful Zoe, his efforts never went unnoticed.
"Oh, that," Kouichi said, a strange expression crossing his face bringing Kouji back to the moment.
"I think Takuya's just sort of squeamish about seeing Kouji making out even after all this time," He said, cracking a joke at his brother's expense as though hoping to distract them but Kouji just narrowed his eyes, seeing straight through the façade.
"But you do know what he's been trying to say?" He asked bluntly, straight and to the point as always.
"Maybe you should ask one of our moms…" Kouichi said, chickening out. It was exactly what Takuya had been doing all week, bringing it up then backing off and it frustrated Kouji to no end.
They both knew something he didn't and if it was something that would get him over this emotional plateau and physical intensity he needed to know. Walking over to the door with a certain predatorily grace to his steps that Kouichi clearly noticed and he lunged for the door but Kouji was there first, closing it firmly.
"Sit down," He commanded and his brother sighed, knowing his fate was sealed and condemning himself to his seat in the rolling chair. Kouji walked over to the bed and lifted himself up onto it beside Zoe who looked surprised.
Not that he was sitting beside her but that he was doing this at all. She hadn't realized it was bothering him nearly as much as it was bothering her and the thought cheered her up even though she wished he had told her.
"So spill, what is it that everyone else knows that we don't?" He asked darkly to shield that embarrassment he had over asking his brother this in front of his girlfriend but he also knew Zoe would appreciate not being left out.
"Not Colette," She corrected and he rolled his eyes.
"Ok, what all the guys know that we don't," He corrected and Kouichi twisted his hands together nervously.
"Um…well…I'm not really sure…"
"So guess," Kouji cut off, impatient for an explanation other than his which so far was non-existent.
"Well…I guess comparing you two to Cole and Takuya works. I mean, you guys have been together for about the same time. Any guesses about what they've done that you haven't?" Kouichi prompted and Zoe turned ten shades of red while Kouji just flinched slightly as though the words actually stung. They certainly bruised his ego.
"If this is about talking about my feelings or whatever" –
"That's not it," His brother interrupted, cutting him down hastily. If there was anything he wanted to talk about less with his twin brother then what they were already talking about it was emotional lovey-dovey stuff.
He knew that Zoe was in love with his brother and his brother loved her more than anything or anyone else but he never talked about it to Kouichi and if he talked about it with Zoe, he didn't need to know. That was their business, not his. Not that this was really his business either but he had been forced…
"Then what?" He asked with a blank expression on his face. He had been sure it would have to do with bottling up or not being good with words. What else could it be? What did Takuya and Colette do that he and Zoe didn't if it wasn't emotional that also had to do with an access of making out and physical attraction…?
That was when he finally got the message. The comical look of horror that crossed his face would have been funny if Kouichi wasn't almost as embarrassed as Zoe who had realized it right away. Oh God, please let it not be that, he thought frantically even as she said the dreaded word aloud: "Sex."
Kouichi nodded slowly, gaze glued to floor. A long painful silence followed where Zoe stared at her hands and Kouichi looked anywhere but at them.
"What does having sex have to do with anything?" Kouji finally asked, hating himself for his innocence but he really needed to know if he was going to make this relationship work. Zoe better be pretty damn impressed after this…
Kouichi stared at him, mouth slightly agape as though he couldn't believe that his brother hadn't connected the dots but then felt bad as Zoe also peeked up at him, obviously also confused. It was clear that Kouji was doing this for her sake and even his brother had to admit, that took guts. Clearing his throat slightly he tried not to think to hard about what he was about to say.
"Well…when Cole and Takuya…you know…did it…it was like a wall went down between them. I guess it's like a permanent tie for them, no matter how many times they break up they'll always come back together because they were each other's first and girls are really emotion about that stuff. Anyways the point is…with you two you haven't done it yet so that extra stress is between you."
"So you're saying if we don't have sex we'll never be 'happy' like Takuya and Colette?" Kouji asked dryly, in his own personal way of expressing his confusion.
"No," Kouichi groaned with frustration.
"It's just…like…like you guys can kiss as much as you want, wherever you want whenever you want but you've imposed a certain limit that's not 'natural'." He was sure to put air quotes around 'natural' so Kouji wouldn't strangle him too hard afterwards.
"Physically you're frustrated with each other because you can only go so far and after almost a year together you want more. Emotionally…well that's not really any of my business," He finished.
"And if we don't have sex? What'll happen?" She asked, speaking up meekly for the first time in awhile; blush only partly faded from her face.
"Maybe you'll get over it, I don't know but for now you're going to be frustrated," He said with a shrug and a sigh, standing up to indicate that he was finished having this conversation. He gave his brother a questioning look and he just waved his hand gesturing for him to go. The door closed behind him quietly and Zoe turned towards him to give him a concerned look.
"Well that…complicates things," He finally said, looking sheepishly at her as they locked gazes. Suddenly she started laughing. Not just a little giggle either, a loud full laugh as she collapsed back down on the bed beside him.
He felt a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth despite it all, unable to resist. She was beautiful when she laughed, an impish smile on her face, turquoise eyes sparkling up at him as he leaned over her.
"What's so funny?" He asked gently and she stopped laughing but continued to smile up at him.
"I just feel like if I don't laugh I'll go crazy. I mean after all this time, all this waiting…and I'm just going to have to wait some more!" She continued laughing but it was a sad laugh this time and his smile turned into a frown.
She was right, all this meant was more waiting. It wasn't fair to her…it wasn't fair to either of them. That didn't change the fact that he didn't know how to express himself and he didn't know how long it would take until he did...
A/N: And that's the first chapter! What'd you guys think? I promise to update soon, and hopefully the next chapter will be better...