Road Trip
Part One
Wheatley read the sign aloud. "Stop... Aquatic... Hitch hiking? What does that even mean! There isn't any water around!" Wheatley gestured to the miles of desert around him, throwing his arms wide and hitting Chell in the face. "Wheatley..." Wheatley continued talking, "And I mean seriously, who wants to ride in boats? They're like-" "Wheatley!" "Large boring cars that float on water. Can't you just swim! It isn't that hard, I bet it isn't, because I haven't swam before and it looks pretty easy you just-" "WHEATLEY!" Wheatley turned toward the angry-faced Chell, a scared expression on his face. "Shut up, Space finally fell asleep." she whispered, pointing at a sleeping android in the back of the van. "I can't drive with both him and you rambling on about useless things, plus if you want to get on GLaDOS's good side, you should do your job and watch the androids!" Wheatley slowly nodded his head and turned his head to look back at the androids. He quickly did a head count. "Space, Rick, Fact, and Curiosity." He said aloud. "And?" asked Chell. "That's all! Can I-"
"What? Where is Anger?" Wheatley looked around and shrugged. "I don't know." "Wheatley, you moron! You were supposed to keep track of them!" She swerved to the side of the road and jumped out of the car. She opened the passenger seat and flung Wheatley out. "You. Look for Anger." She said forcibly. "But-" "Now!" "Jees, I liked it better when you didn't talk..." He murmured. Chell shook her head and opened the side doors of the big van. "Everyone! Out!" Five androids crawled out of the back of the van. "Hey look! Space!" "Are we on an adventure? I have a black belt for adventuring-" "Why are we getting out? Is there a sandstorm? Where are we?" "Fact: we are in the Chihuahuan Desert. The Chihuahuan desert is the largest desert in the United States." "Grr... Ahh! Thhhh..." Chell counted five heads, and an expression of rage grew on her face. Wheatley stepped around the van, "Hey guys! I found this cool rock! Look, it's shiny!" He looked up from the rock and up to Chell's angered face. "Oh, I'll put it back, don't w-" "ARE YOU BLIND!" Wheatley stammered. "W-well I guess it isn't that shiny, bu-" "NOT THE ROCK YOU MORON!" "Not a moron" Wheatley looked at Chell innocently, trying to get on her good side. "That's it! You! Back of the car!" "But it's a van." "JUST GO!" Wheatley whimpered and crawled into the back of the van. The other androids watched in fear as Chell slammed the door closed. She turned to them calmly and said, "Now who wants the passenger seat?"
Chell drove peacefully down the road, glad that there were no more disturbances. Space was happily listening to a NASA program, Fact and Curiosity were happily chattering, Wheatley was unhappily complaining about how much suitcases smelled, and Anger was happily being angry. Everything was just per- THUNK! The van slowly chugged to a stop. What now? Chell checked the gas. Empty. She could've sworn that it was full just a couple of minutes ago. She did a quick head count. She counted five heads. "Where did Rick go?" asked Curiosity. Oh no. Chell jumped out of the car to see Rick outside with a screwdriver in his hand. "What are you doing?" Rick smiled his creepy smile. "Adventure!" Chell checked the gas tank. It was riddled with holes the exact size of the screwdriver. "Did you do this?" asked Chell. Rick grinned even wider, "Well, there just happened to be a mini dragon on the gas tank and it was about to breathe fire all over the gas tank. I, the most adventurest adventurer ever, saved all of your lives by taking this here sword," He waved around the screwdriver, "and stabbing that dragon." Chell shook her head and wished she could slap the imbecile. As she turned around to examine the damage, Chell heard a loud crash behind her. A large rock was turned on its side and Anger stood quite proud over it. Chell looked at him questionably. "Grrr... Ssspfftt... Hhhh..." Fact burst out laughing. "Now that's a good one there!" All of the other androids, used to laugh and call him names... Whoops. All of the other androids stared at Anger and Fact, other than Space, who, what a surprise, was staring at space. "Oh, I'm sorry; it seems that you don't have a database of every language invented. Fact: Anger said he felt like flipping a table, but since there were no tables around, he flipped a rock." Chell sighed and went back to examining the gas tank.
SEVERAL HOURS LATER
The gas tank was patched up with nothing more than duct tape and spare wires, now all they needed was fuel. The Road trip Riders, as Rick had taken to calling them, had camped out on the side of the road. Since they were still in a mostly desert area, Chell could actually keep track on them while she was working. The sun was starting to set, and Chell was getting panicked. Where would they find gas? Chell examined her surroundings. There was nothing but dust, shrubs, androids, and dust. Wait... "Wheatley! Come here!" Wheatley hopped up, glad to be rid of watching Space spin in circles, any type of spinny motion made him dizzy. "Stand right here." Wheatley did as instructed. Chell pulled out a gas can and a large knife. "Hey... What are you going to do with tha- Ow! What was that for?" Chell stuck the pump into Wheatley's arm and watched as oil filled up the can. Chell blocked out Wheatley's complaining and watched it fill. As soon as the can was full, she yanked it out of Wheatley's arm, causing him to fall over backwards. Oops, she might've taken a little too much oil. She shrugged and pumped the oil from Wheatley's arm into the van. "Curiosity!" She called. "What is it? Is it an adventure? Whoa. Is he dead?" Chell shook her head, "No, please help me out him in the back of the van." "Okay!"
Wheatley awoke and sat up immediately, hitting his head on the top of the van. "Ow!" He exclaimed, rubbing his head. He looked around, noticing that he was in the back of the van... Again. Suddenly the van came to an abrupt stop, sending Wheatley flying to the back of the van, knocking him unconscious again...
Everything was good and calm again. Space was staring out the window, Wheatley was unconscious, Rick was strapped to the seat, Curiosity was asleep, and Anger and Fact were, well, singing. Sort of. "Thhh unnn tu uuu." "This one's too old!" "Thh Ccchhl hsss errr llld." "Achoo!" The sneezing woke Wheatley up. Or rather the amount of spit that Fact had produced that just happened to land on Wheatley's face woke him up. "Eww! What is this?" Anger and Fact just continued singing... "This one's too silly!" "Thhh ay ou uo ite." "I say!" Wheatley stared at them in confusion. "What are you singing?" Once again, the moron was ignored. "What about this one?" Suddenly he realized exactly what they were singing. "Oh..." He watched them sing for a while more that is until he couldn't help but join in.
Curiosity tapped on Chell's shoulder. "Yes?" "Hey, Chell, how do you spell murder?"
A/N
Guess what? I actually started another story! But this time I know that I WILL finish it, because you know why? Just because! Just so you know, I apologize for the complete randomness and out-of-characterness. This is a vent that I wrote on a week-long road trip out of complete boredom, and I just randomly decided to make it an actual story.
Reference Points:
Stop Aquatic Hitchhiking was a sign on the side of the road while I was on a road trip. The shiny rock scene was my brother. The song that Fact and Anger were singing was "The Perfect Stallion" from MLP:FiM (Yes, I made Fact and Anger bronies, I sincerely apologize and I ask you to please remember this was all a vent, nothing more!) Curiosity's question was from my brother, he suddenly asked me how to spell murder and I was beyond freaked out.
So, I cut off this very long and boring author's note with a... Please Review!