Title: GI Sawyer
Summary: SANA. Sequel to 'I Love You Too'. What starts off as a friendly soccer game, ends in angst.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters.
Author Notes: Hm, having a bit of a soccer obsession at the moment since my team is in the finals for the school 3 on 3 competition. So sorry about this, but you're going to have a pretty sport oriented beginning. Then it goes kinda weird, which since I'm reading weird poems at the same time makes sense. Then the memory is at the request of Missy (who btw is like the best reviewer ever!)...
Oh yes, blame the ending on my friend who suggested it jokingly but then I kinda took a liking to it since, well, what's a story without a little angst -insert scary laugh-
Also, I would really really really like to thank everyone who reviewed. You guys are totally awesome I love ya'll!
There was no huge fanfare. No big announcements. No huge gossip session. No annoying stares or hinting. It wasn't how it would be if Kate and Jack got together (officially that is). If they got together there would probably be a massive party with balloons and streamers and plans for their imminent wedding. But with Ana and Sawyer it didn't mean that much change at all. Aside from a big smile and hearty congratulations from Libby and Hurley, nothing was different.
Given that they were already moved in, and most people had known that they had a physical relationship (they may have been a tad loud), there was nothing else to change. Just that Ana was using her crutches less and less, and Sawyer was taking a liking to carrying her around crossing-the-threshold style. When they actually got out that is.
It wasn't an exaggeration to say that they spent a good deal of their time in the shelter, doing things other than talking. The world could have disappeared outside without them noticing. Not that they would've cared anyway, they had found each other and that was all that mattered to them. So they stayed in their thoughtless bliss, unaware that a storm was about to come the island's way.
The survivors had started a game of soccer on the beach and it had quickly gained supporters, the bored individuals lining the side lines cheering on their favourite team. Whether it be Charlie, Sawyer and Jack (who argued more than played), or Kate, Claire and Ana. Ana, who loved soccer more than the air she breathed, was standing in the goal circle on her crutches, determined to play even if she couldn't take up her usual position as striker. But it turned out she wasn't needed as an attacker.
At the end of fifteen minutes of play the score was at two to one, the girl's way, Ana turning out to be quite the goal keeper, using her crutches as extensions and (accidentally of course) hacking at the opposition's shins. And Claire was quite the pro player, assisting Kate to score a goal, and then slipping one of her own in, faking a pass before tapping it in past a confused Charlie.
One reason that the boys weren't doing as well as they, perhaps, should have was because Sawyer and Jack refused to pass to each other. Or, more precisely, Sawyer refused to pass to Jack after Jack had missed a shot, and Jack felt the need to retaliate anytime he got the ball. This was the opposite of the girls, who passed quite regularly and were the picture of a successful, functional team.
So, needless to say, the girls had more supporters.
A small amount of gambling started, the survivors making wagers with their chores and responsibilities. Normally Jack would have looked down on this, but he was too busy running around and cursing Sawyer to notice. Of course, Sawyer was cursing right back, and Charlie was rolling his eyes and bemoaning the burden of being on the team with the disagreeable alpha males and asking why he couldn't have been on Claire's team.
Locke was holding Aaron on the sideline, with both Claire and Charlie's eyes going over to check that he was still okay every few seconds. Charlie had first suggested the game so as to get their minds off the close call and Claire had agreed, rounding up the other two couples and convincing them to play with an innocent smile and a twinkle in her eye. They had both accepted, Jack and Kate wanting a break from sexual tension, and Sawyer and Ana feeling like they had to build some more up as they had released way too much lately. And what better way to do this than running around and getting hot and sweaty.
Sawyer grunted as Claire tackled him, sending him on a one way trip to 'Face plant in the Sand' Land. Claire went on to dribble it down the 'field' to Charlie, who was readying himself by wincing. Claire grinned and then passed it to Kate who kicked it in through his legs. The girls celebrated, whooping and hugging, Ana cheering them on from the goals. Sawyer shook his head and clapped the good play.
Sawyer and Jack walked back to the halfway line, Jack shaking his head and muttering while Sawyer surrendered himself to their inevitable defeat, still proud of the one goal he had managed to score. Jack got the ball and passed it back to Sawyer, giving him a look with it.
"Try not to lose it this time." Jack warned and Sawyer rolled his eyes. He tricked his way around Kate, doing a fancy turn, leaving her standing there with a clueless look on her face. Claire set her sights on him, attempting a slide tackle which Sawyer avoided by suddenly stopping, leaving Claire lying in front of him, having tackled nothing but air. He dribbled it around her and approached the goals, shooting Ana a smirk as he bore down on her. Ana just rolled her eyes and readied herself for the inevitable showy kick he would send her way. She was right.
He flicked the ball into the air and kicked it while it was still in mid air, jumping up and kicking it while he was horizontal in the air. Ana's brow furrowed in concentration as the ball flew towards her, and her eyes widened as she realised that it was heading right in between her eyes.
The next thing she knew, she was on the ground and practically seeing stars. There was a huge crowd surrounding her and she blinked, trying to clear her vision and get her eyes to see properly again. Then she wondered if she had in fact been knocked out cold, and was just coming to now. That would explain the sudden amount of people crowding around her, giving her a slightly claustrophobic feeling.
"Ana Lucia!" Sawyer's thickly accented Southern voice cut through the background noise in Ana's head. His face came into view, two becoming one, as her eyes finally agreed to cooperate again. That didn't stop the pounding that rang out through her head every few seconds, though, and she hoped that nothing had been dislodged. Then again, she did have a pretty hard head.
This happens way too often, she thought as she groaned and attempted to sit up. This attempt caused a chorus of protests from the crows, but they needn't have worried, Ana collapsed right back down, not having enough balance to sit upright.
"Rest for a few moments before you try to sit up, Ana." This time she heard Jack's voice and she resisted the urge to shoot back a 'No duh'. She felt his hands along the back of her neck, checking for damage and couldn't help but compare them to Sawyer's. Jack's hands were also callused but Sawyer's seemed to be rough and gentle at the same time while Jack's were just... She couldn't describe it, but she definitely preferred Sawyer's hands at the back of her neck, rather than Jack's, it was more comfortable. She rolled her eyes, she didn't know why they were so concerned, after all it was just a ball to the head, it wasn't a big...
"Boat!"
Big boat?
"Boat! Boat!" The cry rang out and the crowd around Ana all turned to see a sailing boat on the horizon. Then Ana was quickly forgotten as people flocked to the water's edge to try and see if it truly was their rescue, or just another mirage. Ana braved the forces of gravity and steeled herself, sitting up. When she didn't fall straight back down she set her eyes on the horizon where, sure enough, there was a boat bobbing in the current.
Jack and Sayid were already stripping down and diving into the water, swimming for it. Then she started to feel a little woozy again and grabbed onto the nearest thing, Sawyer's arm. This caused him to look at her in concern, and then after realising her problem, position himself so that she could lean on him, instead of depending on her own whacked up version of what was vertical.
She could tell that Sawyer wanted to be one of the men swimming towards the boat by the way he was tense (as if it took all of his energy just to stay put) and kept craning his neck, trying to see what was going on. Ana would have scolded him, but she was doing the same thing and she had already filled her hypocrite quota for the week. Plus, if she wasn't depending on him for vertical support she would have probably told him to go on ahead, saying that Jack needed all the help he could get with a wink and a smirk.
But considering her current state, she was a little less willing to give up Sawyer. She was being selfish, but she didn't have the current mental capacity to care, so she just leaned against her man (yes, her man) and wondered if they could be rescued by a seemingly empty boat. Then her vision started to darken and she wondered if she was experiencing slipping into unconsciousness...
It was. And as Sawyer felt her head fall limp against his shoulder he knew something was wrong. Then the panic set it and the boat wasn't the only thing that had people's attention anymore. A crazed, panicked Southerner tends to turn heads just as much, if not more.
Meanwhile, Ana had gone into a world of her own and was having all sorts of crazy thoughts. It seemed that while her body had gone dead to the world, her mind was whizzing by a mile a minute. Thoughts ran through, and blurred until she had no idea what they were. It seemed strange that she wouldn't know what she was thinking, but her mind was already muddled from the fall and so, the thoughts and memories seemed to blur into each other, making it seem as if they were photographs that had been held under water.
Then one memory came into clear focus, as the others became background noise in her mind. It was her third night staying with Sawyer, and the first night they had shared the blanket. The first night she had purposely tried to further their relationship.
Her hands were shaking. She didn't know why, well she knew why, but she didn't understand how. They had never shaken before. Never. Not when she went out on life threatening jobs, not when she had found out that she was pregnant, not even when she had lost her child (she was too full of anger to be afraid). Yet now her hands were shaking. She stood up and knotted her fingers together, taking a long deep breath and trying to calm her nerves.
It wasn't that big a deal, was it? No, it wasn't. She was just going to give him the blanket that was all. And if he decided to share it then that earned some brownie points for him. But he might not offer to share, she didn't yet know the generosity of the Southerner, and wasn't willing to push it. One thing she knew for sure was that she wasn't going to let him go blanketless for one night more, he got so ill from doing that the previous night that he was barely functional. She was not letting him do that again.
So she took a deep breath once more, clasped her hands together tightly, and walked out of the shelter and leaned on the door, trying to hide her nerves. Swallowing heavily, she cleared her throat slightly and, after not getting Sawyer's attention, just decided to go for it.
"Are you coming in?" She asked, trying to hide the waver in her voice. Apparently the sickness was even worse than she thought, or she was really good at hiding her nerves, because he didn't notice.
"I dunno, I figure I could just stay out here and... y'know... die." He said and made a congested noise which made Ana feel guilty, and it flashed across her face. She saw the proud look that got on Sawyer's face at this and rolled her eyes. Could he be more predictable?
"Come on, Cowboy." Apparently Sawyer acting like a smartass was the cure for her nerves, because she felt them disappearing as she turned to see him enter, and threw the blanket at him. He caught it, which was props for him, and then looked up at her. While he examined her face she tried to keep it emotionless, she didn't want to give away the game too early now did she?
"Thanks." He said and she nodded, anytime.
They both settled down for sleep and the cold started to set it. At first, she had thought that she would be able to handle it, hell she was tough. But soon enough she wasn't just shaking because of nerves. Then she felt a blanket fall across her body, and felt body heat radiate from Sawyer as he lay behind her. Then, more as an automatic response than anything, she moved back into him, needing the warmth and maybe a little more than that.
The shivers dissipated into just random spurts of movement every few minutes, but it was a lot better than before and she felt her nerves melt away. Then she did something that she would have otherwise never have done, she turned and looked up into his eyes. Hoo boy, hello Mr Sexual Tension. She saw his eyes go down to her lips and knew what he was thinking. But she panicked at the last moment and backed out quickly, using her patented verbal threat as a cover.
"You like your face?" She asked, keeping a straight face. One of the perks of being a cop was the ability to lie seamlessly. She watched him open and close his mouth wordlessly and knew that it had worked. So she snuggled into his chest, using his shock as a guarantee that he wouldn't immediately pull away and object to the sudden closeness. Then she smirked as she finished off the threat in perfect form, "Good, so you won't pull anything then."
She let out a contented sigh and heard him chuckle softly, making his chest reverberate, an experience that made her feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Normally she would hate that, but she didn't mind it with Sawyer. It was... nice. She felt him push her hair out of her face and wrap his arms around her, which caused her own to go around his waist, and up his back. She felt his lips on her forehead and smiled into his chest and held him slightly tighter. Then she drifted into a light, dreamy, sleep which was probably the first time she had slept properly in years.
Then her mind went from the memory to a dreamy state.
She was walking in a grassy knoll. She didn't know what a grassy knoll really looked like, but she seemed to just know that it was a grassy knoll. And as she walked she saw other survivors standing, or sitting around, and looking at her. She winced under their stares and tried to walk faster, before breaking into an all-out sprint.
Then she saw Sawyer, and he looked a lot like Jesus. Long hair, glowy, benevolent smile, all that kind of thing. His heart was showing on the outside of his chest, he looked like those magnets that people put on their fridges. Then he pointed down at his chest and looked up at Ana, smiling sadly as the thorns cut into his forehead, making blood drip down his face.
Ana's eyes widened at this and her mouth opened in shock. He took his heart into his hand and held it out to her and she, forgoing all disgusted feelings about handling a human heart, took it and held it to her as if it was a child.
"I miss you Ana Lucia." Ana looked back up at Sawyer and saw that he was crying, the tears mixing with the blood.
"Why can't you come back to me Ana Lucia?" He asked again and Ana's eyes widened at this.
"I'm right here, Sawyer. I'm right here!" She said but he shook his head sadly. Then he began to go backwards, disappearing into the distance.
"Sawyer! Come back! I'm right here!" Ana yelled, but it was all in vain because he was gone. She looked down at the heart which she held in her hands and saw that it was starting to melt. It was leaking onto the ground and she stared at it as it disintegrated in her palms, and the liquid fell onto the grass and was absorbed in the ground.
She kneeled and quickly tried to get it back, digging in the soil but it was useless and the soil in her hands turned to mud as she continued to dig deeper. And then...
And then she was 4 years old again. Her hands were smaller, pudgier, and she was digging through the mud desperately. She was sure she had dropped her GI Joe around here somewhere...
"What are you doing?" She looked up and Kate (still the right age, but now with pigtails) looked down at her, her eyes dark with disapproval. Then she bent down and pulled the GI Joe, which was strangely clean, out of the mud and held it to her tightly.
"He's MINE." Kate insisted and Ana stood up and angrily stomped her foot down.
"NO!" Her voice was young and whiny, that along with the fact that she barely reached Kate's hip, made her extremely non threatening. Kate just held onto the toy (which very closely resembled a fun size Sawyer) and stuck her tongue out at Ana.
"You-You don't own him!" That damn stutter from when she was younger was back with a vengeance.
"Yeah I do! And I always will!" Kate replied and Ana's bottom lip began to quiver. She gave a yell of frustration and began to hit Kate on the leg with her little fists.
"No you don't! No you don't!" Then tiredness overcame her, as it would for anyone who had spent a good deal of time hammering away. She collapsed, still talking to herself, "No you don't. No you don't..." She curled up and stuck her thumb into her mouth firmly.
Next thing she knew, she was being shaken awake. She looked up into the concerned eyes of Libby.
"Lib? Where am I?" Ana yawned and stretched her body, feeling like she hadn't used it in a while and her joints were starting to cobweb.
"You fell asleep." Libby responded and quickly helped her up. Ana brushed herself off and looked around, they were in her shelter. Ana's shelter. Didn't that get torn down by the storm? But that thought was pushed to the back of her mind as Libby began to drag her outside.
"Hurry up, we're going to be late!" Libby insisted and Ana followed, not quite understanding.
"Late? Late for what-" They turned onto the beach and Ana saw the set out for a wedding. There were rows of survivors, all facing the front were Mr Eko and Sawyer stood, next to him were also Charlie, Jin, Sayid and a reluctant Jack. On the other side were Claire, Sun and Shannon.
"Come on." Libby insisted, dragging Ana to a seat before she could properly absorb everything in front of her. As soon as Ana sat down she was suddenly in a church. A big, glamorous church which had probably been built a long time ago, one of those medieval-type places. And, as she looked up towards the front of the church, she saw Sawyer and Kate exchanging vows. Her mouth opened into a soundless scream as she watched them slowly lean forward and kiss.
Then Kate turned to face her and smiled evilly.
"He's MINE."
Ana sat up suddenly, sweating. She blinked, breathing heavily, her chest rising and falling quickly as she tried to get her bearings. It was dark, and she could hear the rain hammering down on the roof, so she was obviously inside. The wind suddenly whistled in to the left of her and she turned to see Sawyer walk in, lifting up the tarp. He let it drop back down and, when he saw that she was sitting up, he hurried over it her.
"You okay Chica?" He asked as she winced away from him. She just shook her head silently and tried to stop her head from spinning.
"Is this a dream?" She asked, and looked up at him and he just looked back at her curiously.
"A dream?" He asked and she shrugged, not bothering to explain the reason behind her question.
Sawyer looked at her for a second longer and then sighed, bringing out a needle from behind his back, making Ana freeze. Her eyes went to it, widening as they did. It glinted meanly in the light (what light?) and Ana swallowed. Hard.
"Time for your medicine." Sawyer said and Ana tried to lift her hand in defence but she suddenly found that it was tied down. She looked across at it and saw that she was being restrained by the leather straps that were usually used in mental hospitals. She looked back up and she was in a clean, white room and Sawyer was wearing glasses and a white coat. Next to him was Kate, who was wearing a nurse's uniform with a big white hat on her head with a red cross on it.
"Ready?" Kate asked and Sawyer nodded. She handed him an even bigger needle (God it was like the size of his forearm) and he looked down at her. For a second she thought he looked like Jack but she blinked and he was Sawyer again. Then he held it up to the light, flicked it and squirted a bit of it out, getting rid of any bubbles, wielding the huge needle quite well.
He looked down at her and the light glinted off his glasses making her wince. Then, both arms raised above his head - à la King Arthur and the sword in the stone - he plunged the needle into her neck, forcing it down with a grunt. Ana screamed and her vision started to darken, as it did she heard,
"Now all we can do is wait..." The blackness enveloped her and she felt her feet land slowly on something, as if she was being lowered onto it.
"This is hell." Sawyer whispered into her ear, and she felt a sinking feeling which started in her stomach and continued to spread throughout her body.
----
Back in reality...
"This is hell." Sawyer said and swallowed hard as he looked down at Ana who was lying on the infirmary bed, "I don't even know if you're gonna get through this. The Doc says we have to 'wait and see'. I dunno if I can. Why'd this happen? Things were so good... I guess that's why. Things can never be 'good' around here. Everything has to be such a goddamn STRUGGLE!" Sawyer exclaimed and grabbed the nearest table, throwing it as far as he could, yelling in anger, "GODDAMNIT!"
"Sawyer." Kate said softly as she entered the tent, but Sawyer was too deep in rage mode to hear her, "Sawyer!" This time he heard her and turned, breathing heavily, his fists clenching and unclenching.
"What do you want?" His eyes flashed angrily and Kate stepped back, afraid at his outburst. He saw that and took a deep breath, trying to calm himself.
"'M sorry Freckles." He mumbled and Kate shrugged.
"It's ok Sawyer, I get it." Kate paused as they stood awkwardly silent then she stepped closer to Ana, "How is she?" Sawyer stepped in next to her.
"No change." He replied and automatically tucked her hair behind her ear. It had become second nature to him, something which made Kate shift uncomfortably.
"I'm sorry." Kate said suddenly and Sawyer looked at her in disbelief, which considering the past between the three, wasn't really a strange action. Kate saw the look and insisted, "I am. I know what it seems like, I mean... I know Ana and I aren't the closest friends. But it's not like I want her out of the way." The Freudian slip caused Sawyer to look at her suddenly, something indistinguishable in his eyes. She realised her mistake and her eyes dropped to the ground, and then she continued in a softer, lower voice.
"I love Jack. He means everything to me. Without him... I don't know what I would do without him. But then I see you and Ana and I can't help but feel..." Kate looked up at him, "Jealous." Sawyer remained silent and Kate took this as a bad sign and began to backpedal furiously.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have put you on the spot like that. I mean... It's probably nothing, I probably just want the closeness that you..." Kate was silenced when Sawyer lifted up her chin with his pointer, causing her to finally look him in the eyes.
"I'm sorry Kate." He whispered, his lips barely moving and the crease in the middle of his eyebrows deepened as he braced himself for waterworks from the brunette in front of him. But something quite different happened, she suddenly leaned up and kissed him.
That was when Ana woke up.
"S-Kate?" What had started out as Ana saying Sawyer's name happily had ended with her saying Kate's in disgust and anger. Sawyer pushed Kate back, but it was a moment too late. Despite the fact that he didn't initiate, or participate, in the kiss, he knew he should have pushed her away earlier and cursed himself for not doing so.
"Ana... I..." Sawyer struggled to find the words to explain but he was cut off by the look on Ana's face.
"Get out." She said, her eyes alight with fury and her voice was strong, steady, and barely holding back her rage. Sawyer bowed his head in defeat and turned to walk away.
"Not you." Her voice stopped him in his tracks and he turned to see her gaze (which was now silently steely) go to Kate. Kate opened her mouth to protest, but at another glare from Ana, she closed it and walked out, shooting Sawyer an apologetic look as she passed him. Sawyer then faced Ana, hopeful.
But that hope was to disappear soon.
"And you," Ana's eyes flashed dangerously, "You I can't even look at. Get the fuck out. I never want to see you again." Sawyer stared at her, seeing the unshed tears gather in her eyes and he was torn between obeying her wishes and comforting the woman he loved. She made his decision for him.
"Get. Out." Her voice was strong, with the barest hint of a waver in her tone. Sawyer swallowed hard, turned, and left.