Seasons Between
Author: orpheneritus
Pairing: Gakushi
Rating: PG-13
He hates winter.
The cold, the wet, the wind that bites his fingers and toes. He hates that outdoor tennis practice is over and they spend the winter training indoors. The repetitive swings and return to basics makes him grumpy and tiresome. He prefers the flashy excess of his on court performances.
You watch him shiver in the change rooms. Layering a shirt over his tank and pulling his school jumper over the top. 'Can't get warm, Yuushi,' he mutters. 'Hate the snow.'
With good reason too.
You love him in the spring and summer months when he is happy and driven. Focussed on tennis and victory like a predator on prey. Gakuto loves the kill. You do too. It's what makes you good together. His energy is infectious and exciting. You feel exhilarated just being with him. He always wants to do something new. 'I love experiencing new feelings, Yuushi. It's so exciting.'
And that's how you got him into bed.
Small and narrow against your body. Just thinking about him makes you hard. He's tiny. You love it. He hasn't grown since third year and you've gained at least another foot. He resents you for it in the same good natured way he resents anyone for having something he doesn't. You love being taller, being stronger than him. You love that you can grip his wrists in one hand and he can only struggle and pout.
He fits just under your chin, like he was born to rest against your chest. Except that he doesn't very often. In the spring and summer he's joyful and active, never stopping in his enthusiasm for life. You can only clutch him to you for brief moments at a time. Snatching him while you can. Before he darts off to find that new feeling.
You love the winter, though it brings him pain. The cold slows him, the snow burdens him and finally you catch him.
In winter you hold him. Around the waist when he pauses at the threshold of the door. Against your chest as he stares morosely out across the snow covered vista. 'It's so grey,' he complains miserably pressing his face into your shoulder. There's no beauty in the winter for him.
Tilting his face up to yours, you kiss him softly and wrap your arms around his shoulders. 'I'll keep you warm,' you smile.
You spend the rest of the day in your bed. You cover him with your body. Rub the warmth back into his limbs and back into his body, until he stops whispering about the cold. You love him relentlessly, trying to fuck the sadness from his eyes. Unlike sex in the spring he stays in bed. Curled at your side, clinging to your arm. You love the need. It's the only time he needs you.
You can only hope that he will need you again next year. The seasons between are fraught with uncertainty. Seasons where he could slip away from you. You feel guilty for wanting his sadness. But you can't lose him.
He hates winter. With good reason.
You think of it sometimes. Gakuto, before you knew him. A small and joyful child. Bundled in his red snowsuit holding his mother's hand. Innocently unaware that in a few hours she would fall dead to the snow.
He waited with her. Half frozen when he was found.
Now you wait with him. Keeping him warm.
Until the winter ends.