It was the last day of the convention, and Jensen was getting more tired by the minute. He loved doing the conventions. He did. He loved seeing the fans and interacting with them, seeing their cosplays and answering questions, just generally getting to know them. They are, after all, the whole reason the show is still going. But there were sometimes where it was all just a bit too much, and it being the last day, it was getting to that point. He was running on a cup of coffee, half a sandwich and a donut given to him by a stage hand, and that was hours ago. Sitting on the stool in the middle of the stage next to Jared, he stared out into the crowd of fans. Jared was talking about God knows what. Jensen wasn't paying much attention anymore. Cameras clicking every few seconds. The lights began to get too hot. He rolled up his sleeves and elicited a few cat calls from the audience. He winked and donned that signature sexy trademark "Jensen face" that he knew the crowd loved. Hollering ensued. He laughed and readjusted his seating in his chair. He was wondering about what meal he was going to call in later when he heard somebody say "Misha". He perked up at that. He knew anytime Misha's name came up at a J2 panel, he had to tread carefully as to not say anything he would never hear the end of or later regret. He caught the end of the fans statement.
"But is Misha really necessary in the show anymore? I mean he doesn't have his angel mojo anymore, and his subplot is kind of played out don't you think? I mean, it's nothing against him as a person, I just don't think his character is relevant to the show anymore."
The room started buzzing from everyone talking at the same time. Camera flashes started going off rapidly, catching whatever face Jensen was making. He shook his shoulders a bit to ease the tension that he didn't know he was holding and tried to smooth out his face to a more normal resting face by letting out a breathy halfhearted laugh.
"Ha. Well what kind of question is that? Misha is a very important aspect to the boys and to the show, and it just wouldn't run the same without him," he said trying to keep his voice light.
Jensen sat back more in the stool to look more at ease. Although he was not at ease. The very idea that some of the fans didn't want Misha on the show outraged him, but he had a pretty good "keeping it cool" face when he needed it. He was an actor after all. Although, when it came to anything involving Misha, he seemed to have a much harder time disguising anything. He shot a look at Jared who had started his own much more PR sounding rebuttal. It was ironic how Jared was always the one hinting at more things between Dean and Castiel at cons, but he was always the first one to step in when something actually came up. The small group who had initiated the question didn't seem satisfied with Jared's calculated answer and were still pushing the issue. Other fans had started talking back at them angrily trying to get them to shut up. The buzzing was just getting louder and he couldn't stand it. Jensen couldn't grit his teeth and hold his words back anymore.
"Look. Here's the deal. Misha would stay on the show for the remainder of its course if it were up to me. He's a very valuable asset to the show, and he brings much to it that no other guest star has. He's a phenomenal actor and friend, and if you don't think he should be on the show, then you don't have to watch it. We do value the fans opinions since you guys are the reason we do it, but in the end, the writers and producers get the say as to who stays and who goes."
He stops for a moment to reel in some of his tension. The room was silent except for the never ending pops of camera flashes and the faint hum of the speakers and stage lights. All eyes were on him, waiting to see what he would do next.
"Cas is still very relevant to the story line. You guys don't know what's in the coming scripts or what's already been filmed. Besides, what would the Winchesters do without Castiel to get them out of jams? Think of what it would do to them to lose one of their only remaining allies."
He paused again and lightly gnawed at the skin on the inside of his lip in a nervous habit. Should he say what he was thinking? He looked around and felt the weight of the room crushing him. Fuck it. He was gonna say it.
"Think of what it would do to Dean."
With that, the room was in an uproar. The darkness of the audience lit up with flashes, and everyone was asking questions at the same time. Some sounded happy. Some angry. But he was done. He had to get off this stage. He was done playing his part for the weekend. It was the last panel, and he had done all of his autograph sessions. This was the very last event. He couldn't be more relieved. As Jensen got up from his stool, he whispered to Jared, "Sorry bud. I just can't. I can't handle any more of this today. I'm out. Sorry." Jared nodded understandingly. He always understands.
He pats him on the shoulder once and starts to walk off. He turned to the crowd and as Jensen walked off, he heard Jared giving some excuse saying something had come up.
He wasn't surprised to find Misha waiting just out of sight by the dark curtains. He always watches the monitors back stage and is always ready if something happens. Misha watches him as Jensen sees him and walks briskly past him. He knows by now that that's passive angry Jensen's way of saying "get me the hell out." He doesn't talk to him until they get back to Jensen's room and close the door. Jensen goes straight to the mini fridge and starts gulping down a bottle of water. His shoulders tense, hand set on his hip at his belt as he drank. Misha waits until he stops drinking and takes a few calming breaths.
"Jen... you can't just leave like that. You know they eat that up."
"Damnit I know. I just can't stand it anymore. Not today. I'm done," he shakes his head. His face looking tired now that he's not forcing his smile. Misha's sighs. He knows how much pressure he's under. He knows how Jensen gets more and more tense as cons roll on. Its constant audio and visual stimulation at every turn, and it can get tiring very quickly. Not that they don't appreciate the fans and everything they do, it just gets taxing when you've been gone from your family for a month or more on the road constantly having to smile for the cameras and give them all a good show. Misha walks up behind Jensen to run his neck and shoulders where they're visibly tensed up.
"I know, babe. I know exactly how you feel. But just please go back out there. Just for a little while longer to end the con. It's the last part and then you're free. You're done." Misha's practiced hands pinch and roll out the tired muscles as Jensen lets his eyes close and his head fall forward and roll side to side as the relief tingles down his back and make his hair stand on end.
"I just don't know if I can do It," he shakes his head. Leaned forward towards the mini bar, his arms were tensed and supporting his weight.
"I mean what was I supposed to do, just sit there and let them talk about you like that?" His voice getting more and more Dean-like the madder he got. Misha grabbed him gently by the arm and turned him around to face him. He looked up into those big green eyes, slightly bloodshot from fatigue and stress. His mouth set in a tense line, but somehow still the pouty Jensen Ackles trademark lips he knew well. Misha smiled sweetly up at him. Jensen may be different from Dean in a lot of ways, but he and Dean were both protectors. Jensen always did anything he could to protect Misha. From making a joke on stage to alleviate the focus on Misha when it got too intense or putting himself between Misha and the paparazzi when they were out. Anything he could do, he did. Misha let his hands drop from Jensen's shoulders to hold his hands between them. He looked down at their hands twined together as he phrased his words in his mind. Looking back up into those green eyes who seemed to see into his very soul, almost made him forget his words.
"Jensen. I love you. You know that. And I love everything that you do for me. I thank you for standing up for me, and for Castiel, out there. But you've got to go back out there. If nothing more than to just sit there and look pretty for the rest of the panel. But you've got to do it. You know how the fans are. They'll never let you live this down. I mean, Destiel is one thing. But the emotion you showed out there just now?" Misha paused and shook his head because he's a dramatic little shit. "That was a lot more than just Dean and Castiel and they know that. I mean you know how I feel about it. I'm fine with them knowing about us. About all of us. You, me, Vicki, Danneel. It's you I'm worried about. I know you haven't told your family yet. And that's fine if that's what you want. But doing things like this is going to get everyone talking. If you're ready for the shitstorm that comes with people knowing about us being polyamorous, I'll be with you every step of the way. But I don't think you're ready. Which means you just need to go back, sit in the chair, and be cute for the cameras and do funny shit with Jared."
Jensen just stared at him thinking as he talked. He had a point. Misha was doing that thing where he spoke too calmly and it always put Jensen at ease. But today was different. He was just so physically and emotionally done and it was going to take more than those big baby blues and soft spoken words to convince him to go back out there. With his face passively resolute in his decision, he shook his head.
"Nope. Not gonna happen. Sorry, but I'm done. I'll deal with it." Jensen smiled a tired half smile, grabbed Misha's shoulders, leaned forward to kiss Misha on the forehead and walked over to his bed to put his phone on the charger. Misha stood still. Thinking. Scheming. Wheels turning. How could he convince him to go back? Jensen was definitely not ready for everyone to know. He doesn't make the best decisions when he's tired and Misha had to find a way. Think, Misha, think. Brow furrowed in concentration, he bit his lip out of habit. Then he remembered. He lifted his head slowly with a look that was triumph mixed with mischief. He looked slightly to his left at a handmade trench coat a fan had given him yesterday at photo ops lying across a chair.
"Hey Jen," Misha says. Jensen doesn't look up, but answers.
"Yeah?" scrolling through his missed messages, he starts replying to one.
"Remember that thing you had a dream about that we talked about the other night and thought it might be... fun?"
What was he talking about? And holy shit look at all the unread emails. Jensen thumbs through his phone.
"Not really, no. sorry." he halfheartedly replies. Starring down still focusing on his phone, he notices Misha's feet when he comes to stand in front of him. He looks up and a sly smile stretches across his face as he notices that it's not in fact Misha anymore. It's Castiel in a fan made trench coat, a sock monkey shirt and jeans and messy hair to top it all off. He's looking at him through the familiar, squinted, albeit confused Castiel eyes, crinkled at the edges, and his head slightly cocked to one side.
"You don't remember Dean?" Castiel's low, gruff voice was oddly comforting to him.
Jensen puts down his long forgotten phone and stands up.
"Well this is certainly a welcome surprise." he says in Dean's own husky, low timbre. I do remember now that you mention it." Jensen slips his hands inside the trench coat around Misha's middle and settles his hands on either side of his waist. It was quite amazing how Jensen had already fully slipped into his character. Even his jaw was set different. His eyes like they had actually seen all that Dean had seen. His body language slightly more provocative somehow. The tilt of his head, the set of his eyes. As Jensen moved his hands around Misha to hold him closer as he moved his lips to Misha's neck, Misha had to clear his mind and remind himself what he was doing. He pulled away slightly breath taken but quickly back into Castiel mode.
"Dean, no. not now. You have to go back out there." Misha pleaded as Cas would. Using his eyes mostly and the innocence he could put into his face.
Jensen answered in an even more rough Dean voice than usual, his voice more harsh from arousal,
"Oh yeah, and who's gonna make me?" he practically growled, licking his lip in a quick motion as he often mindlessly does. Although this time, it came off more as a challenge. He pulled Misha back to him and their lips locked. Jensen moved one hand from around Misha to bury it in "Castiel's" messy hair. God how he's literally dreamed of this. It's always been a secret, or not so secret, fantasy of his to role-play as Dean and Castiel. There's just so much tension between them during filming which sometimes leads to some intense nights in their trailers after shooting just to get out the frustration. They've teased and often called each other Dean or Cas, but never fully went all out. Damnit Misha. He always knows just how to unravel him in all the right ways. Just as Jensen moves his hands to open his belt, Misha stops. Panting slightly, lips red a wet, Misha glowers at him with dilated pupils inside those intense blue eyes.
"No, Dean." Misha breathes. Eyes heavy lidded in passion. "Not until later."
Jensen squints his eyes. Weighing in his mind just how serious Misha is about making him go.
"In order to partake of everything I've learned from the pizza man Dean, you must go back out there. You have to go back and smile and wave until they leave. Then, and only then, will you be fully rewarded." Misha does not play fair. How can Jensen possibly say no when he looks like this. His face flush, his hair rumpled, his jeans tighter than they were a few minutes ago. Jensen shakes his head and smiles incredulously. Misha is really serious about this isn't he? Fine. He'll play along.
"Fine" Jensen huffs playfully. "I'll do it. But Cas better be waiting and ready to give me what I'm owed when I finally get back here tonight."
Misha nods solemnly like Cas would. Smiling and lifting his arms out by his sides gesturing that he has nothing else to do. "I'll just... wait here then."
Jensen huffs a laugh at the reference, fastens the buckle back on his jeans and runs a hand through his hair and looks back at Misha, looking from head to toe and back again. Jensen shakes his head and huffs out a breathy laugh once more as he turns to grab the door knob.
"Oh and Dean," Misha stops him. Jensen looks back one more time.
"Yeah, Cas" he says.
"Play nice, and I'm all yours. Tonight, and every other night Dean Winchester." Misha adds with a wink. Jensen bites his lip on purpose this time. He lets out one more laugh.
"Dean Winchester always plays nice." he adds. And with that he gives one last longing look to his blue jean wearing angel and walks out the door before he changes his mind.