Reese hated coffee now. The smell of it. The taste of it. The process of making it.
She used to love it. Not for the substance in itself per se, she always found it slightly bitter, for the memories that she now associated with it.
The hours of studying and researching, where the only things keeping her awake and alert was her drive to be better and the black liquid that helped her keep her eyes open.
The times that she would be drinking it in the doctor's lounge and not know what hour of her shift she was on, and not caring because she loved it. The hustle and bustle and craziness that was the Chicago Med ED.
The minutes she would have to spare while analyzing test results to drink enough coffee to give her energy to keep going. To help another patient. To try to solve the problems she was faced with. To do her best. To help.
Of storing her belongings in her locker before her shift began, while Will or Nat made a batch of coffee for everyone. She met her superiors in that lounge, but after months of trying her best, of failing and trying again, all she was ever met by was a reassuring smile or an understanding nod. Because they were all in that fast-paced, high risk environment together.
Coffee in Chicago Med had made her feel like she finally belonged somewhere.
The presence of coffee all around her in the coffee shop didn't give her any fond associations. It made her panic when the machines wouldn't work and drive her crazy when the customers were picky with their choices. It felt like nearly ten years of study sliding down the drain of one of the sinks behind the counter.
"One Americano" One of her co-workers said, passing one the order to where Reese stood still battling the coffee machine. She didn't even know which co-worker it was. She didn't know half of their names. That was something that she missed about Med, even without name tags, she had known everybody's name. They were all in it together. In this coffee shop? Everyone was here until they finished their required hours. It was always half way through her day that made her want to run back to pathology, and grovel and beg and plead to be taken back, just to have something to do with medicine again. But she knew it wasn't what she wanted, and it would be as wrong for her as making coffee was.
"Dr Reese?" Her head shot up to look across the counter to see who had called her that. A version of her name that nobody called her by anymore, certainly not the staff here. Even Will, and Ethan and all the rest had called her Sarah, or Reese, when they wrote her that card when she had finished her placement. Hell, even Joey had stopped calling her it. It was an inside joke they shared, he had called her Doctor because he always said she deserved it, until she became one and walked away from pathology. It was a version of her name that she had made peace with not hearing again until she was back practicing medicine again.
"D..Dr Rhodes..." She practically fell over his name when he looked at her. A man full of complications that weren't reflected in his drink choice. It was a game she had, to keep her sane, to pretend she was helping Dr Charles with an assessment or Will with a history search, to match the customers and their drinks. More complicated drinks made her come up with more complicated backstories for the long line of people that came and went all day. But she would not have matched such a straightforward drink to the man that was now looking back at her.
"Hi, hi, how are you?" She felt like a deer caught in headlights, something like what her first day in the ED had felt like. "Americano coming up." She could feel herself flushing red, from embarrassment that she had quit, from the prospect of him thinking she didn't even care about Med anymore, and if she were honest, more from the fact that he was looking at her with his intense stare. One he only wore when he had a problem to solve. She wasn't sure how to deal with his attention.
"I didn't realize you were working here." He said as she busied herself making the drink in front of her.
"Yeah." She couldn't help the sigh that escaped. "I decided pathology wasn't for me. A little too late. But I realize that I want to help people, I want to work with them while they still have a chance. And I can't do that in pathology." She told him the same thing she told everyone who asked, hoping that he would understand and not question her judgment like everyone else, or get annoyed like Joey had.
She handed him the paper cup and waited a beat before continuing. "I, eh, I heard about Dr Downey... I'm sorry." Then she immediately wondered if she had gone too far. She would hardly consider Dr Rhodes and herself friendly, not really.
He just nodded in response and she felt like she burning the rest of her bridges with Med.
He took the cup from the counter and stopped himself before he turned away. "Do you still want to be a doctor, Dr Reese?"
"More than anything." She replied without hesitation. "I'm just waiting for the right opening right now."
He smiled, "See, I knew from the beginning you'd make a great doctor, Sarah. Pathology was a phase for most of us too."
She gave him a small smile, blindsided by the fact that he knew her first name. All this from the man that wouldn't even give her a high five!
"I'll just have to wait for the next openings for matches, and hope my scores are enough." She never liked uncertainty, she liked to be able to do something about the uncertainty.
He placed his cup back on the counter, "There's an opening for a residency, in cardiology. Originally under Dr Downey, but since...Well let's say the match didn't want it without Dr Downey. I'd be one of the fellows on the team, that's how I know about it. You'd probably be needed in the ED quite a bit, dependent on what our new surgeon wants but..."
"Can I sign up now?" She couldn't believe her ears and even managed to wave off one of the co-workers who tempted to interrupt this life-changing conversation.
He smiled again, something she couldn't remember ever seeing him do before today. And something, she decided, that she would like to see more of.
"You'll have to apply, I know Goodwin is taking an interest this time, they don't want to lose another resident, and there is plenty of competition for it, but I'm sure you have a shot. I'm sure you'll get good recommendations from the ED. I just thought you should know."
"Yeah, I understand, but thank you. Thanks for letting me know." She couldn't help but sigh wistfully, "I'd love to get back to Med."
"Speaking of Med, I better get back." He made to move away from the counter. "See you soon Dr Reese."
She smiled, contained her giggles of excitement at the prospect of actually getting to practice medicine again, and waved as he walked out of the café.
Maybe coffee wasn't so bad in the café after all, she decided later that day, because all it seemed to remind her of now was Dr Rhodes. And that wasn't a bad association at all.
A/N: So after being a big fan of Chicago Fire and PD for a while, I've finally got into Chicago Med...and I love it!
Just so you know, medicine, and hospital systems, and EDs are not my strong points, I've tried to make sense of them, so if things aren't correct or my medical terms aren't right, I'm sorry and I don't mean to insult anyone who works in medicine. I'm just going where the characters and stories take me.
Since I'm quite new to this fandom, I realized that I love Dr Rhodes, and I love Dr Reese, and they don't get much time together in my opinion. I thought I'd fix that :)
I hope you enjoy, please let me know what you think!