A.N: Hallo everybody! How y'all doing today? I'm dandy. Just a wee bit tired. And yet, judging by writing also on sugar…0.o;;; Funny. Haven't had any sugar for awhile. (what's wrong with this statement?) Anywho, yes, it's a new fanfic! With nearly no forward notice at all! This started out as a simple idea…an innocent idea to turn things in the Artemis Fowl world topsy-turvy. It WAS going to be a one-shot. But if you know me, one-shots and me don't make sense. So, this is now a five-chapter story…Yup…

Disclaimer: (Hmmmm…Haven't done these for awhile…Ah yes…) holds pen above head brings it quickly down onto paper begins to write furiously looks at paper sniffs and holds up paper for all to see Paper: I don't own Artemis Fowl! Me: I tried to write I do own Artemis Fowl, but see, like in Liar, Liar, I can't lie. It's the Curse of the Lawyers…

It's Harder Than it Seems!

Blowing Mud Boys to Kingdom Come

Ops Booth, Haven.

"You needed me for something, Foaly?" Artemis Fowl walked into the Operations Booth, rubbing his temples. An angry Commander Root was not someone you wanted to bump into.

Foaly turned around in his specifically modified chair and stood up. "Yup. Punctual, aren't you?" He cantered over to the pale boy.

"I do try," Artemis sighed and nodded. "So, what do you want?"

"Straight to business then," Foaly rubbed his palms together in excitement and guided Artemis over to a large, cylindrical device that had an inside resembling a hot shots pod. "This is the Morpher. This will ease the tension of blending in aboveground for the Recon officers."

"I repeat myself, why do you need me?"

"Well, since Julius wouldn't let me try it out on one of his 'precious officers' or him, I decided-"

"To try it out on me," Artemis finished, his eyes narrowing in apprehension. "You're sure it's safe?"

Foaly sniffed. "Of course it's safe. I invented it with safety being the top priority."

"And that's why nobody wanted to be the one to try it out."

"Oh, come on. I'm a genius, trust me," Foaly shooed Artemis into the interior.

Artemis groaned as he let himself be pushed into the small space. "The line between genius and insanity is very fine, Foaly."

The unappreciated genius ignored the comment.

Holly peered into Trouble Kelp's cubicle, her head turning from side to side.

"Can I help you Short?"

"Have you seen Artemis, Kelp? I heard he was down here today."

"Haven't seen him, but I know he's helping Foaly with some new equipment."

"Oh."

"Why?"

"I just thought I'd ask Artemis about something from the past."

"You just found an instance where he pulled a fast one on you, didn't you?"

"To say the least," Holly growled as she stalked out to go find the 'defenseless' Mud boy. "When I get my hands on you Artemis Fowl…"

Artemis shifted his weight nervously as Foaly typed in a few key codes.

"Tell me again Foaly, why I agreed to be your guinea pig."

"Because in order to retain your memories and keep in touch with the People you have to help me out wherever you can. Not like I need it."

"But of course."

"Are you ready?" Foaly grinned, an evil glint in his eyes.

"As ready as I'll ever be," Artemis took a long, soothing breath and closed his eyes, trying to ignore the violent tingle snaking up his body.

Multicolored smoke filled the Ops Booth as the machine whirred to a stop. Foaly coughed and brushed it away as he made his way to the Morpher. He wondered if he had done it, if he had truly turned Artemis into an elf. After all, the machine's whole purpose was to make elves appear to be human, so it should work vice-versa, right?

He was so wrong; his jaw hit the ground harder than Mulch's teeth when he saw what he had done.

Holly sighed and finally returned to her cubicle. She'd run into him sooner or later, and she had to get some paper work done anyways. Darn it all, it seemed Trouble and some of his buddies had gotten less than her so they were on break in the courtyard. Some people had all the luck.

"Oh well, may as well get started," Holly murmured from behind a pen cap. She looked down just in time to see a stream of smoke float by. "What the. What is that centaur and Irish kid up to now? This had better not cause me any trouble."

How right she was. But it would also cause her some amount of childish joy.

Foaly had to do a double take to make sure he wasn't dreaming. He had made Artemis disappear. He was gone. Just a smoke cloud, nothing more. He wouldn't hear the end of it. He had terminated Artemis Fowl. He didn't even want to think about damages. Holly would kill him (if Root hadn't gotten to him first).

So, just to make sure he was right, he tentatively called out. "Artemis? Please tell me I haven't blown you to microscopic fragments…"

A small sputtering sound came from the machine, almost of disbelief. But, it could've just been the machine itself.

Foaly gulped and looked down in dismay. And as the smoke cleared, lo and behold, was Artemis Fowl II. The centaur gaped, then burst into raucous rounds of laughter, all gloom gone.

"It-it-it's s-so CUTE!" He whinnied, collapsing onto the ground in a fit of giggles.

A.N Dum dum dum! What will happen? Will Foaly ever stop laughing? Will Holly ever find Artemis? What's so cute about Artemis? (besides his entire being)… Will Root ever make an appearance? Find out on the next installment of It's Harder Than It Seems!

P.S. What do YOU think has happened to Artemis? Review and tell me! I wanna know!

Thank Yous- Thank you sooooo much to my sister for being my test reader and for giving me encouragement! I love you!