Warnings: Mentions of suicide attempts
I'm really glad our muscle-obsessed babe could have her own week. She needs more love than KyoAni gives her. A big, big thanks to the organizers of this event! This is cross posted from tumblr.
Read at your own risk. It's kind of…dark. And well, enjoy! *cackles deviously in the corner*
Gouallout week day 2 - I'm here
Gou heard the click of the door as it closed. It was a different person this time, but wore the same all white uniform; Tanaka-san was it? But she didn't care; for all she knew it might be an alias. The bitter taste of the variety of tablets and capsules lingered in her tongue; drowning them in water didn't help mask their unpleasant taste. She hated it. But she had no choice, she had to obey them for now.
Her ruby eyes stared at the wall. White. Everything in the room was white; from her pillow, to her bed, to the ceiling, to the floor and even the dress they gave her. She was sick of it. She had been surrounded by this sickeningly white chamber for the whole day. She dangled her legs on the edge of the bed; watching them as she swung her limbs back and forth, faster and faster. At least they were kind enough to take away the restraints.
"Why did you drink it?!"
The voice of the man; bleeding with raw anger reverberated in the narrow space. She stopped the movements of her feet.
"That's poison, Gou! They've been giving you poison!"
She tightened her grip on the bed; raising her head to face the man in the corner of her room. His auburn hair and dark clothes stood out from the dull color around him; baring his shark-like fangs. Her eye brows knitted, as she shouted with equal intensity, "What are you doing here?!" She hissed, her voice as sharp as a knife, "Leave me alone, Rin."
She saw the hurt in his face as soon as she said that; a tang of guilt came to her. He clenched his fists, "No, Gou." He sounded determined," You know I won't do that."
She stood up, "But you left me!" She still remembered how Rin was rooted deeply in his place just staring at her with remorse while she struggled helplessly against a bunch of strangers who captured her. Despite being outnumbered and the obvious difference in strengths, she was able to smack one of them with a lamp right in his face. Hah. Serves the f*cker right. And the last thing her mind has processed was the pain of a needle penetrating her skin. No, they were not strangers anymore. She knew them now. They killed Sousuke; the only guy she fell in love with. And now they are after her. "You didn't save me when they took me away!" An accusing finger, rigid with rage, was pointed towards Rin," You― You betrayed me!"
"I-I didn't have a choice Gou! They could've killed you if I interfered!"
He walked towards her, but she was moving away from him; going to the other corner of the room which was beside the door. He clutched on his hair, almost ripping away his scalp.
"I'm sorry, Gou."
Desperation was palpable in his voice. There was no more space for Gou to step back, she was trapped between Rin and the wall. She flinched when she felt Rin's hand gripping on her arms, clutching to them so dearly. The rage she had was slowly dissipating with just his touch.
"Oh God. I'm so sorry I couldn't do anything back then."
He wrapped his arms around her shoulders, leaning his head against hers, "But I'm already here" Her trembling hands moved, "See? I came back to you. "
Albeit with hesitance, she returned Rin's hug; sinking into the refuge of his relieving warmth.
"You're not gonna leave me again?" Her voice was muffled by his chest, swallowing the sob that threatened to escape from her. She craned up her head so as to face him, "Onii-chan?"
She sounded so fragile, desperate for the assurance from the only person she could trust.
The same ruby eyes were staring through hers, Rin smiled. It was that smile that soothed her every time.
"No, I won't." He brushed up her bangs, giving her another hug; while he whispered, "Don't worry. You will escape from here. Onii-chan will always be here protect you. I will never let them hurt you."
"Promise?"
"I promise."
She heard the sound of the door opening. This time it was a female who emerged from the door. She looked around, Rin was nowhere to be seen. He must've heard her footsteps and moved before the door opened. She smiled to herself. They'll never find him, she was confident about that. Her brother had always been good at hide and seek, not even their mother knew he had been residing with them the whole time. It was a secret Rin and Gou had shared, a secret that belonged to them alone.
"Patient Matsuoka?" The female in white called, Gou whipped her head towards the newcomer. "You have a visitor."
-x-x-x-
She was not surprised to see her mother sitting there in the waiting room (was what she was told) when the female ―Rie as what she had read on her name plate― opened the door. Gou was greeted with a tight hug, almost suffocating her, as soon as her mom had sighted her. She returned the intimacy of her mother's touch. Gou buried her face on her mother's shoulder.
"I'm sorry, Gou." She whispered to her as she caressed her hair, bringing her head closer to hers. Gou might've heard the slightest of sob from her voice. Though her swollen eyes gave away her non-stop crying. "I'm so sorry."
Rie was just standing near them, like a spectator. There were other people donned in all white uniform around them; and when Gou looked around she saw persons with the same dress as her; sitting and talking with someone across them. Her mom guided her to a seat opposite to hers.
"I had no choice." She began, holding Gou's hands in hers, "I hope you understand me, Gou-chan. It was for your own g―"
"It's okay, Mom. I understand." Mrs. Matsuoka smiled at her ―a forced smile in Gou's opinion― blinking away the tears forming in her eyes. Gou looked around to check if someone would be able hear her, Rie was not that near from them. Her whisper wouldn't reach her ears. She leaned forward to close the gap between them. With much certainty Gou said, "You don't have to worry, Mom. I've got this covered."
Confusion was written all over her mom's face. Gou could see the creases in between her brows, her eyes turning into slits, barely showing the ruby orbs Gou had gotten from her.
"I'll be able to escape here. So please Mom, get away from here as soon as you can. Before they went after you."
Mrs. Matsuoka stroked Gou's hair, "Don't worry, sweetie. No one's after me and Dr. Shirota said you could go home after―"
"They've already killed Sousuke―"
"No one killed Sousuke."
"―I don't want anyone else to die!"
"Sweetheart, listen." Gou felt the gentle hands of her mother gripping her arms," Please listen to me." Her mother's eyes pierced through her, "Sousuke died of lung cancer" Her voice softened, "and you were at his bedside when it happened."
Gou shook her head, "They turned off Sousuke's machine!"
"No, Gou-chan that's n―"
"Onii-chan told me! He's here with me, Mom."
Mrs. Matsuoka choked on a sob as soon as those words left Gou's mouth. She could see she was still holding back her tears, a lot of tears welled up inside her.
It must be tears of joy, Gou thought. She must have felt reassurance knowing Rin was with her.
"They can't hurt me, Mom. Onii-chan will protect me."
Her mother bawled, uncontrolled tears streaking down her cheeks. The older Matsuoka shushed her, calming her with the same motherly comfort Gou would experience in her childhood days. Because in her younger years, her mother still had time to be with her and fulfill her job as a parent properly. "Three years ago, there was a car accident. You and Rin were there. Do you remember what happened back then?"
The image of Rin covered with blood came to her mind. She remembered how the blood was gushing out of his stomach, even his thighs. How cold he felt in her arms. How empty his eyes were, gazing at her. How fragile he looked as he desperately reached for her cheeks, wiping her tears. How heart-aching his smile was. And how his lips quivered as he used his last strength to speak.
Don't cry, Gou. Don't worry―
Her mother pressed her lips into a thin line, "You survived, but Rin..."
Gou felt a pair of strong hands covering her ears. It was Rin, she was sure of that. With his hushed voice, telling her, 'She's lying', 'She was threatened' and it had a more calming effect than her mother's. Because she felt more safe with his voice.
Because he was always there with her.
"Rin died." Mrs. Matsuoka cupped her cheeks, while relentless tears stream down from her eyes,"Rin is gone, Gou. He won't come back anymore."
He was there to comfort her when their parents had divorced. He was there whenever she felt alone, whenever she felt alienated to the only place she thought she belonged ―their house, that lame excuse of a home reduced to just a cold concrete building. He was there encouraging her to confess to Sousuke. Never left her when Sousuke died. He was there when she tried killing herself countless times. Stopping her in her first tries, but when she's had enough; when living was more of a bullshit than not, he would tell her, 'It's okay, Gou. We'll do this together. Just let go.'
He was there when nobody else was. Not even her mom. Not even Sousuke.
"A-and you never mourned for him because you told me that it's okay and that he's watching over you always. I-I thought you were just trying to stay strong and didn't want to worry me. This is my fault. I should've talked it out with y―"
But her mother's words were turned into gibberish noises.
"I didn't know you were already having hallucinations of Rin―"
All she could hear was her brother's voice, repeatedly whispering the words he told her back then; that one truth she would always believe.
"What are you saying, Mom?"
She tilted her head as she reached for her Mom's tears, wiping them with her thumb. A big smile crept on her lips.
"Onii-chan never breaks his promises."
―I'm here. I'll always be here with you. I promise.
A/N: Watching 'The Beautiful mind' was really helpful. Welp. I do hope I nailed this one. Feedbacks are very much appreciated, oh, and also if you see mistakes here, please do tell me. Thank you!