Spike Meets Lil Miss Giggles.
Title:- see above
Rating:- PG
Distribution:- same as always.
Ownership:- I don't own Spike or any of the other BtVs characters in this story.
Feedback:- would be greatly appreciated.
"Listen, bitch, and listen good."
Lil Miss Giggles sat at her computer typing away at her latest fic,
"I'm all ears."
Spike sat on the bed,
"I'll have no more of this me loving the Slayer crap, got that?"
"What ever you say Spike."
The vampire watched her eyes as they flitted from keyboard to screen, keyboard to screen.
"You're not listening are you?"
"Pardon?"
"I said - " He saw the smirk on her face, "Oh ha ha. Very funny. I mean it you know!"
"Would you have said it if you didn't?"
"Yes. I lie. You should know that, you're the writer."
"*A* writer. There's lots."
"But you're more fun to talk to."
Lil Miss Giggles kept her eyes to the screen,
"Why is that?"
"It's harder to wind you up. Everyone else has a hissy fit after 5minutes."
Spike lay back with his heads behind his head,
"Do me a favour, love."
"Hmm?"
"Kill the Slayer for me."
"I have done. Twice I believe."
"No, properly. As in dead as a doornail, rigor mortis, not allowed to come back because she's nailed in a coffin and buried 6ft underground. Dead."
"But if I did that, not only would Joss Whedon throw a wobbly, but there'd be no more BtVs i.e. no more Spike to star in BtVs."
"I'll get my own show. Angelus did, so can I. And you can be the script writer, producer, director all in one! You can even do the casting."
She smiled looking at him for the first time, her voice dripped sarcasm,
"Oh, Spike, you're so generous. No, love to, but no."
"Fine, I'll do it."
"No, I won't let you. They're my fics, and in my fics I am God. I rule supreme."
"Fine, I'll write my own."
Saving her work, Lil Miss Giggles stepped away from the computer,
"Be my guest."
The vampire sat down at the computer and thought for a moment while Lil Miss Giggles took out her lap-top and continued to type. After an hour of sitting, thinking, looking at Lil Miss Giggles in hope of inspiration and glaring at the screen, Spike gave up,
"I don't know the first thing about writing fics!"
"I know."
"Then why did you let me make a fool of myself infront of all these pathetic mortals reading this fic?"
"It was amusing. Besides, like I said before, in my fics I am God. You'll do whatever I tell you to."
He snarled,
"Make me."
"Spike, sit!"
He sat.
"Rollover!"
He rolled.
"Play dead."
" I am dead."
Then he realised what he'd done,
"Bugger! You bitch! How'd you do that?"
"Come here, I'll show you."
He walked over to where she was typing, and realised the enter text was the events of the past 2hrs. When Lil Miss Giggles typed, "Spike, sit!" He had sat. He laughed,
"Playing God! I *like* this game! Here, let me have a go."
She watched as Spike made Riley appear, and punch himself continuously in the face, whilst shouting,
"I'm a prick!"
The vampire spent the rest of the night like this, subject various enemies to unbearable torture. By morning, he'd locked Buffy in a room with My Little Ponies, the Smurfs and the Chipmunks, locked Angel in a room with Harmony, and watched as she talked him to suicide and caused the others many other unbearable torments.
For his birthday that year, Spike recieved a lap-top. The card read,
You always considered yourself Godlike. Taking life whenever you wanted.
Here's the chance to do it from the comfort of your own armchair.
Luv ya lots,
Like vodka shots,
Lil Miss Giggles
XXX
Spike smiled, and switching it on, began to cause havoc in Sunnyhell with his new toy. Bliss.