I realized that I haven't really been using good writing in most of my stories, so I wrote a less fluffy story. If you've read any of my stories, please tell me which style you like to read better. Oh, and if you're reading SWAC of More Fake Dating, I'll update soon. The chapter is half way done. S don't make me feel TOO guilty about writing a one-shot when I have another story going…
Disclaimer: YES! I OWN IT ALL!!!!!!!!! Oh, and by law I'm required to tell you I also live in an Asylum for the clinically insane. Apparently I have delusions or something.
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Hollywood changes people. No one knows that better than me.
Actually, Hollywood hasn't changed me. I'm still here somewhere. Deep, deep down is the little Chaddy-poo my mom was always saying she missed so much. But I couldn't be him for her anymore. Hell, I couldn't even be him for myself anymore. I was now Chad Dylan Cooper.
Then Sonny had to come along. She was everything I used to be and more. Her bright smile and joyful eyes. She was herself. She was happy.
I made sure to be extra jerkish to her. I knew I wouldn't be able to resist her if I thought I had any semblance of a chance. I had to protect her. I wasn't what a girl like that wanted…needed. Not anymore, at least. Sonny deserved better than a broken, hollow boy.
But that didn't stop me from helping her every once in a while. She brought out the real me sometimes. Somehow, in the few short months she has been here, that girl has managed to make me feel more like my old self than any amount of family picnics my mom has arranged. Still doesn't matter. I vowed long ago to put her feelings above mine.
"Monroe." I greeted her in the cafeteria.
"Cooper." she said back to me cutely.
She was wearing some sort of costume for a sketch. A poofy, pink, sparkly dress with wings. A tooth fairy I'd guess. She looked a little silly.
"Nice outfit." I sneered at her.
Her face dropped and bit my tongue to keep from taking it back.
"Thanks." she said, her voice oozing with sarcasm.
She brushed past me. The look of disappointment on her face was too much. I don't understand how she could still get disappointed in me, after all I've done to her. But sometimes that unhappy look on her face makes the nice me come out and comfort her.
"Sonny?"
"Hm?" she asked, stopping but not turning around.
"You know you always look cute in your bizarre costumes. It's endearing how much confidence you have to be able to wear them in public."
"That was a compliment?" she asked, turning around.
Her brown eyes bore into mine with such seriousness that I've never seen in those carefree eyes. An unidentifiable emotion glinted with a strong intensity.
"Yeah."
"Chad, just, stop. Okay? Please. Stop." she said each word with purpose and emotion.
"Stop…what?"
"I know that you are afraid about me raising Random ratings, and I don't know why I'm even asking, but if you have any shred of decency or mercy you'll stop."
"Sonny, I honestly don't know what you're talking about."
"You, Chad! I'm talking about you! You're playing some kind of mind game with me! Being nice and making me like you, and then being a jerk the next second!" she said, raising her voice from anger. "Please," she pleaded, "This isn't a game to me."
Had I really hurt her this much? I wanted to protect Sonny and all I wound up doing was hurting her. She thought I was playing some kind of sick game. I just stared at her, frowning.
"Never mind." she growled in frustration, and stormed away.
This time I let her. I made another vow to leave her alone entirely. Sonny could take care of herself, she didn't need me toying with her heart.
I shuffled back to my studio, a look of devastation clear on my face. I plopped down rather unceremoniously on my director chair.
I saw Portlyn come up to me. She stood behind me and ran her hands gently through my hair. She bent down to my ear and whispered,
"Will a little make-out session in your dressing room make you feel better."
We had been hooking up for a while. Both of us knew it was nothing, just friends with benefits. We used each other to blow off some steam. Although I've never been less attracted to her, I desperately needed a distraction. And Portlyn is one hell of a distraction.
"Sure." I lied smoothly and lead her to my dressing room.
I locked the door behind us and she pushed me roughly to the couch, straddling me. She started kissing at my neck and I let her, sitting motionless. Her hands moved up and down my chest, sending tiny chills up my spine. I focused on the physical sensation and consciously made my mind go blank.
Then Portlyn started to pull the hem of her shirt up.
"Hey, now." I said, yanking her hemline back down, "Keep all your cloths on."
Hurt flickered briefly across her face before it smoothed into annoyance.
"Chad Dylan Cooper, why will you not have sex with me?"
I had to seriously consider that question. I was Chad Dylan Cooper, notorious womanizer and bad boy. Yet I was still a virgin. And not from lack of offers. Here I had a gorgeous woman offering herself to me (yet again). A woman that any guy would kill to sleep with. But I just couldn't do it. A bubbly brunette kept popping into my head. Every time my body even thought about doing something like that, my heart got all pissy. I couldn't come up with a snaky comeback, so I just answered honestly.
"I don't love you."
My response elicited a surprised laugh from Portlyn.
"And you think I love you? You sure do have a big head, Chad. I'm just talking about sex."
I flinched at her flippancy.
"It's a respect thing, Port. I just can't."
She shrugged and straightened out her cloths.
"You're loss. I'll just go find another make-out buddy."
She strutted out of my room perfectly happy.
I realized that fame hadn't totally corrupted me. There was still a little bit of the small-town boy I had been. The boy that wanted to wait for that right girl and make her love me before I made love to her. Unfortunately, that corrupted part of me was preventing me from winning the right girl. Deep down I knew the right girl was Sonny.
"Chad?" I heard Sonny's voice ask from the door.
I froze, wondering if I should break my vow and see her or not.
"I know you're in there. I don't blame you if you never want to speak to me again, but at least tell me to my face."
I stiffened. Why would I be mad at her? I was the one acting like a jerk here….
"It may have been a little psychotic to think you were trying to screw up So Random! by messing with my emotions. And I may have accidentally admitted to liking you a little bit more than I should. Why else would I be so disturbed by your mood swings? But I just want to be your friend, Chad."
Do not open that door Chad! I swear to God if you open that door-
Then I heard Sonny stifle a sob, and ran to the door to comfort her.
I opened the door and pulled her in.
She looked up at me, shocked. Her innocent brown eyes were blood-shot, as if she had been crying a lot.
"Sonny, funny little Sonny." I muttered, than mentally kicked myself. If I was going to spare Sonny's feelings I had to handle this like I would have before Hollywood got to me.
"Sorry." I mumbled and smiled a tiny smile, "You like me?"
"I said I did, didn't I? Now just make fun of me and get it over with." she muttered.
"Sonny, I like you too." her eyes lit up, "but it doesn't mean anything."
As quickly as that happiness in her eyes came, it went. A haunting intensity seemed to take over.
"What do you mean?"
"Sonny, I can't be the guy you want. I've been like this too long. Hollywood got to me a long time ago…"
"Don't you think that I ought to decide what I want?" she smiled a little bit.
"Well, yes, but-"
"But nothing." She whispered, "I want you."
We had unconsciously been moving closer to each other. Now if I just tilted my head I could kiss those lips I fantasize about…
I silently studied her, wondering if she knew what she was getting herself into. She gazed steadily back at me, and her face twitched.
"Chad?"
"Yes?"
"Is that a hickey?" she asked pointing to my neck.
Damn. Portlyn had left her mark on me. I nodded wordlessly.
"Oh, God! I'm sorry! Didn't know you had a girlfriend. No wonder-"
"I don't. It was Portlyn." I said curtly.
Her eyes flashed with a hint of jealousy,
"She was a…distraction." I continued. "It didn't really help that much."
"So you used her?" she asked with curiosity.
"She was using me too."
Sonny bit her bottom lip in thought. I allowed a minute of silence.
"You see why I can't be your Prince Charming?"
"But you are," her eyes shone with emotion, "Weird beard, the fake date, the Lakers tickets. You were always there helping me."
"And for every time I helped you I was also there stealing your yogurt or calling you names."
"But which is who you really are?"
I thought for a second. Which one was me?
Sonny moved closer and put her hands on my heart.
"Which one do you want to be, Chad?"
That was an easy answer.
I closed the gap and gently kissed her. Her lips were impossibly soft and she drew me towards her. It felt like a million explosions going off in me at the same time.
"That's what I thought." she mumbled against my lips when we finally surfaced for air.
"This wont be easy Sonny. I haven't been that good boy in so long, I don't even know if I ever can."
"That's okay. Easy is no fun."
We smiled at each other.
"So…am I a better kisser than Portlyn?" she asked teasingly.
"Much better." I chuckled.
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