Chapter 1

Austin Cooper sighed deeply as he pushed up his heavy yellow framed glasses and ran his hand through the top of his chestnut hair. He was in line at Beat Coffee House, located just a few blocks from Youngstown State University. It was the weekend before finals and Austin was in desperate need of caffeine. He hoped the barista could successfully complete his order of a carmel almond milk macchiato, but by the constipation of the line movement, he had his doubts.

Bored, Austin plucked imaginary piece of fuzz off of his tight brown, yellow, and red plaid shirt. He fingered his tortoise shell colored gauges and gave his thick moustache a pat down before he finally pulled his iPhone out of the undersized pocket of his skinny jeans and checked for missed text messages.

Delilah Morgan - "Wer r u?"

Austin's heart gave a tiny jump at seeing her name on the screen. Although they had been dating for a few weeks now, he still got excited whenever he received a message from her. This was usually quickly quelled by the atrociousness of her grammar and composition in each transmission. Despite her lack in formal writing training, he forgave her because of the way her ass looked in a pair of vintage petal pushers.

While composing his reply in his mind, a pair of slim fingered hands came from behind and covered his eyes.

"Guess who?" said a gender neutral voice.

Since Austin was casually sleeping with 30% of YSU's campus population, he literally had no idea who was behind him.

"My favorite person?" Austin guessed safely. He turned around and saw his best friend and occasional fuck buddy, Leopold Masuka. Bending his 6' 2" frame down, Austin embraced his small friend.

"I was just on my way to set up my installation at the campus art gallery, do you want to help me?" Leopold asked suggestively, sliding his small hand up Austin's forearm.

Austin considered his options, looking over Leopold's small, compact body. His started at Leopold's non-brand name shoes in faux stressed condition, then up to the carefully cuffed ends of his dark washed skinny jeans. Austin's attention moved further up, toward the gleaming Strongbad belt buckle that was settled just below the hem of a light blue t-shirt with a drawing of a single Eggo waffle on it.

Feeling a burgeoning erection, Austin caught Leopold's gaze. Heavy white framed glasses were perched above a neatly combed moustache. His silky black hair had been carefully constructed into a gentle wave at the top of his head with a grey wool oversized beanie perched at the end. He looked like a Japanese version of Jack Antonoff.

"As tempting as you are, I have to pass. I gotta cram for Professor Doakes' stats class. I spent too much time doodling dick n' balls instead of taking notes during lecture, so I basically have to memorize the text book from beginning to end," Austin griped.

"No prob, dude. I should probably be studying myself," Leopold said with disappointment, shoving his hands in his pockets and looking down.

"Hey, when finals are over do you want to go shopping at the Salvation Army in Boardman?" Austin asked optimistically while trying to capture Leopold's eyes again.

A smile melted over Leopold's face. He nodded, reached up and gave Austin a peck on the check before he turned and ran out of the coffee shop.

Relieved he hadn't ruined his fwb status with Leopold, Austin turned around and stepped up to the counter to order his coffee. As he suspected, the barista was an inept conformist with a cliché cursive tattoo peeking out of her shirt.

It's probably misspelled, too.

He ordered his drink and waited off to the side, checking his phone again. He thought about texting Delilah to come over and give him a blow job, but reconsidered, thinking it was too adolescent to be overly indecent via text.

"August?" the blonde barista called out.

Austin rolled his eyes and stepped up to collect his macchiato. He grabbed the to-go-cup from her and took a tentative sip.

"This has mammal lactate in it!" he spat the liquid in his mouth out in a spray of disgust.

"I'm sorry, I forgot," said the clinically brain dead barista. "Do you want me to make you a new one? On the house?"

"FUCK IT," enunciated Austin as he slammed the cup on the counter and walked toward the exit. Silently, he ranted in his head.

I have other plans for you now, you stupid dugong. I will have my revenge and you will wish your pathetically mainstream life had taken a different turn. Soon, you will be MY victim.