Pain. Suffering. Heartbreak.
These were some emotions that I was feeling, even though I usually don't feel at all.
How could I have been so stupid? I started to let myself feel around him, and I thought he was feeling for me too. Boy, was I wrong.
He really seemed into me. I mean, he seemed to really listen, to care. I bet he really does, just not like I want him to.
Why me? Why him? Why her?
God, why do I have to feel this way?
I don't know where I'm
I'm standing at the back
And I'm tired of waiting
Waiting here in line, hoping that I'll find what I've been chasing.
I tried not to fall for him. It would never happen with us, he's the fricken leader of our group! It shouldn't happen between any of us; it would only end in disaster. But that didn't stop them.
But I went for it. I went for it and now I regret it. I couldn't really blame Robin; he didn't know I was going to tell him that day. I thought I was sending maybe a few hints, but I guess because of my inexperience, they were barely hints.
Oh, I'm stuck and I don't want to be.
I shot for the sky
I'm stuck on the ground
So why do I try, I know I'm gonna to fall down
I thought I could fly, so why did I drown?
Never know why it's coming down, down, down.
So when I went up to him a month ago to ask if our plans to go to my favorite café were still on, I saw him walking hand-in-hand with Starfire. He told me no, that he and her were finally couple and they had a date.
Damn bitch.
Okay, I don't really mean that. I'm just so angry and hurt, but I don't have a reason to be. They really are the perfect couple. She is beautiful, strong, and smart. I may beat her in smarts, but I'm no beauty queen, and we are probably matched in strength.
I need to let it go. Give them their chance. They'll break up eventually… right? Maybe not. They look so happy together, so in love. Who would I be if I burdened him with my feelings while he is in a happy relationship?
But I can't help but hope that maybe someday…
No, I can't wish…. Can't hope…. There is no hope…
Not ready to let go
Cause then I'd never know
What I could be missing
But I'm missing way too much
So when do I give up what I've been wishing for.
It wasn't easy. The month was painful. We had been meeting with each other before this, talking, getting to know each other better. He understood me, he knew me. And I knew him. Our bond was growing, so that's why I fell for him. But when he started dating Starfire that changed. Robin and I wouldn't meet anymore at all. All his time was consumed of her. I tried to talk to him, but he shrugged me off in favor of spending time with his lover. Everyday was so hard, but I was watching, waiting for the day that she would let him go.
But now I know that wouldn't happen in the near future because today I walked in on them making out passionately on the couch. Right then I had to work the hardest I had ever had to not let any emotion on my face. Without even saying anything I turned and left the room.
I went to the roof, where I always go to let my emotions go.
It was raining. How ironic. So I curled into a ball and cried. I wasn't worried about anyone bothering me; no one ever bothered me when I was up here.
So here I am.
I shot for the sky
I'm stuck on the ground
So why do I try, I know I'm gonna to fall down
I thought I could fly, so why did I drown?
Never know why it's coming down, down, down.
Oh I am going down, down, down
Can't find another way around
And I don't want to hear the sound, of losing what I never found.
What now? How can I live with the questions running through my brain? How do I live with the torment of their relationship? I see them everyday…
I looked over the edge of the tower. It's quite a long drop… not a lot of people could live through it…
What am I thinking? Suicide? Would I really stoop that low? Most people do… Would they miss me? Would he miss me? Or would he just say "Oh well" and go cuddle with his girlfriend?
I stood up and walked to the edge, staring at the ground below. I could end the torture now... the pain I've been feeling for weeks.
My toes hung over the edge and I crouched down. I sprung up and flew myself over the tower's edge, falling down…
I shot for the sky
I'm stuck on the ground
So why do I try, I know I'm gonna to fall down
I thought I could fly, so why did I drown?
Oh it's coming down, down, down.
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