dongs

dongs in orifices

Maybe today, the young man thought giddily, maybe today will be the day! He bounced excitedly from foot to foot, and rearranged some pens in their pen-cup on the desk in front of him.

Ever since James Wilson had started working with Greg House, he had been desperately in love with him. He knew House loved him, too. It was in the little things he did, like put him down or tell him to shut up. Wilson had started giving House little hints that his love was indeed reciprocated, like boxes of chocolates left on his desk, or red roses delivered to his apartment, or dry humping his desk when House had gone home. Every day began with him fervently hoping that today, maybe, just maybe, House would announce his undying love for him. Then they would elope, have a long honeymoon somewhere nice (like Hawaii, or wherever it was people went on honeymoons), and then live comfortably together until they died.

Wilson smiled to himself at that thought, and began thinking up a schedule of who could top. House could have Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, and he could have Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays, and on Sunday they could -

This arousing thought was cut off by the door to House's office opening, and House himself walking in.

"Wilson, what the everloving fuck are you doing in my office?"

"Hi, House! I was just wondering...is there anything you need to tell me today?"

"Yeah. There is," House replied thoughtfully.

"Oh? What is it?" Wilson said gleefully, pratically bursting from excitement.

"Get the fuck out of my office before I shove my pimp-cane so far up your urethra all the sounding fetishists will be creaming their y-fronts."

Wilson uke-blushed demurely. That was a blatant come-on if he ever knew one.

"Oh, House! You say the nicest things!" He giggled.

"Yeah, well, I've got doctor shit to do," House said moodily, because he's very snarky and everything.

"Oh, me too. So, how much do you want me to spend on your ring?" Wilson decided to cut to the chase, now that it was obvious House loved him. "Or will you buy me one? Because I saw this -"

"Wilson, what the fu-"

"Well, it's okay, I don't need one, I guess. So, honeymoon locations? I was kind of thinking Auckland -"

"I don't know what you -"

"- because sheep, but still, I'll look online. Okay, I guess I'll do that now. See you, honey!" Wilson squealed and skipped out of House's office.

House sat broodily in silence for a few minutes. Then, he got out a little bottle and tipped a few Valium into his hand. He paused, and then added a few more. It was going to be a long day.

THE END.