A Gundam Wing Songfic
By: Duosgrl
Inspired by: "Wrong Way" sung by Creed
Basically, I was listening to the Human Clay CD one day as I was reading fics on the 'net and this one struck a chord in me. So, I re-read the lyrics and it seemed to me this could be something that Heero might write to express how he's feeling about why he can't seem to return love the way Duo wants him to. And also Heero's trying to figure out why Duo is the way HE is. ::shrugs:: Maybe I'm totally off base here, but it worked for me.
Oh, yeah! I don't own Gundam Wing, any of its characters or any songs by Creed. The only thing I truly own is my crazy over-active imagination(tm). ^_^
Wrong Way
~What makes you touch?
~What makes you feel?
~What makes you stop and smell the roses in an open field?
~What makes you unclean?
~What makes you laugh?
~What makes you cry?
~What makes our youth run
~From the thought that we might die?
~What makes you bleed?
When did I start thinking so much about Duo Maxwell? Maybe it's because it's almost impossible to ignore someone who constantly seems to be talking. Talking to you, talking to others, talking to himself or no one at all. After all those sounds being forced into your ears and brain, day after day, I think they start to get to you, you know? Somehow, someway, someday all those words finally penetrated my "I don't care, let the world go to hell" shield. They began percolating into my everyday thoughts. I mean I would be so in to what I was doing, smashing Oz dolls, repairing Zero, whatever, and before I knew it I would be remembering something that baka had said, sung, or done! It wasn't too long before I was really paying attention to everything that boy was doing and how his face looked as he did it.
He always seems to be so ALIVE! He enjoys every little thing as if it were the first time he had seen, smelled, heard or touched it. His whole body literally sings with emotions. How can he stand it? Doesn't he ever just want to stop? I mean, stop feeling... feeling everything, anything?
Why does he let himself "feel" so damn much?
Maybe that's why I do the things I do. Say hurtful, spiteful words. Maybe it's so I can see how he "feels" those things too? Oh, yes. Duo feels all the bad things too. He tries so hard to hide it but now I can see those brief glimpses of his sadness and grief. Are you as heartsick and struck with guilt, like me Duo, that you can't hide it all the time either? I am fortunate. I just turn and leave when those feelings come over me. Once again I hurt my only friend. Only this time it's my actions that cause the pain.
But you, you Duo, how do you deal with all these fears, frustrations, betrayals, and memories of the horror you have caused? Do you bleed inside every time you are forced to kill another soldier who was just doing his duty? Do you bleed like me? Yes, I bleed. I cry. I grieve. I mourn. I just don't let the feelings in. I wall them away inside myself somewhere.
~Somebody told me the wrong way
~What if I died?
~What did I give?
~I hope it was an answer so you might live
~I hope I helped you live
~I hope I helped you live
That's how I was told it should be. The only way it could be. Now I'm not so sure. I am so alone in the world. If I died tomorrow would anyone care? Would you care, Duo? I hope you would. I hope you can see past all my facades into the deep part of me. The part of me that is still human.
Have I ever let you know that I think of you as a friend? Do you know? Do you care?
Somebody told be the wrong way to be. Maybe I can learn the right way to be from Duo. Happy, cheerful, sad, lonely Duo. Can I change? Should I try? Can I overcome the "wrongness" inside of me? With your help, Duo, I want to try. I think I can do it if you are with me. Would you even be willing? I guess it's my turn to give, to feel, to live.
~Somebody told me the wrong way
So, Dr. J, fuck you and all the crap you loaded me with! I WANT TO LIVE!! I WANT TO FEEL!!! ..... I don't want to be alone. I don't want to die alone and forgotten. Please. Please, Duo can you help me?
**END**
So, crap, right? Yeah, I thought so too. Damn my muse anyway for making me write this stuff.
This is so NOT how I wanted it to be. I had such good ideas on how this would play out and I just couldn't get the words right no matter how hard I tried. So it goes, I guess.
Please be tolerant and kind with your C&C. I do want honesty, though. ::sigh::
Thanks for reading my sorry try at a Songfic. ^_^ Duosgrl
By: Duosgrl
Inspired by: "Wrong Way" sung by Creed
Basically, I was listening to the Human Clay CD one day as I was reading fics on the 'net and this one struck a chord in me. So, I re-read the lyrics and it seemed to me this could be something that Heero might write to express how he's feeling about why he can't seem to return love the way Duo wants him to. And also Heero's trying to figure out why Duo is the way HE is. ::shrugs:: Maybe I'm totally off base here, but it worked for me.
Oh, yeah! I don't own Gundam Wing, any of its characters or any songs by Creed. The only thing I truly own is my crazy over-active imagination(tm). ^_^
Wrong Way
~What makes you touch?
~What makes you feel?
~What makes you stop and smell the roses in an open field?
~What makes you unclean?
~What makes you laugh?
~What makes you cry?
~What makes our youth run
~From the thought that we might die?
~What makes you bleed?
When did I start thinking so much about Duo Maxwell? Maybe it's because it's almost impossible to ignore someone who constantly seems to be talking. Talking to you, talking to others, talking to himself or no one at all. After all those sounds being forced into your ears and brain, day after day, I think they start to get to you, you know? Somehow, someway, someday all those words finally penetrated my "I don't care, let the world go to hell" shield. They began percolating into my everyday thoughts. I mean I would be so in to what I was doing, smashing Oz dolls, repairing Zero, whatever, and before I knew it I would be remembering something that baka had said, sung, or done! It wasn't too long before I was really paying attention to everything that boy was doing and how his face looked as he did it.
He always seems to be so ALIVE! He enjoys every little thing as if it were the first time he had seen, smelled, heard or touched it. His whole body literally sings with emotions. How can he stand it? Doesn't he ever just want to stop? I mean, stop feeling... feeling everything, anything?
Why does he let himself "feel" so damn much?
Maybe that's why I do the things I do. Say hurtful, spiteful words. Maybe it's so I can see how he "feels" those things too? Oh, yes. Duo feels all the bad things too. He tries so hard to hide it but now I can see those brief glimpses of his sadness and grief. Are you as heartsick and struck with guilt, like me Duo, that you can't hide it all the time either? I am fortunate. I just turn and leave when those feelings come over me. Once again I hurt my only friend. Only this time it's my actions that cause the pain.
But you, you Duo, how do you deal with all these fears, frustrations, betrayals, and memories of the horror you have caused? Do you bleed inside every time you are forced to kill another soldier who was just doing his duty? Do you bleed like me? Yes, I bleed. I cry. I grieve. I mourn. I just don't let the feelings in. I wall them away inside myself somewhere.
~Somebody told me the wrong way
~What if I died?
~What did I give?
~I hope it was an answer so you might live
~I hope I helped you live
~I hope I helped you live
That's how I was told it should be. The only way it could be. Now I'm not so sure. I am so alone in the world. If I died tomorrow would anyone care? Would you care, Duo? I hope you would. I hope you can see past all my facades into the deep part of me. The part of me that is still human.
Have I ever let you know that I think of you as a friend? Do you know? Do you care?
Somebody told be the wrong way to be. Maybe I can learn the right way to be from Duo. Happy, cheerful, sad, lonely Duo. Can I change? Should I try? Can I overcome the "wrongness" inside of me? With your help, Duo, I want to try. I think I can do it if you are with me. Would you even be willing? I guess it's my turn to give, to feel, to live.
~Somebody told me the wrong way
So, Dr. J, fuck you and all the crap you loaded me with! I WANT TO LIVE!! I WANT TO FEEL!!! ..... I don't want to be alone. I don't want to die alone and forgotten. Please. Please, Duo can you help me?
**END**
So, crap, right? Yeah, I thought so too. Damn my muse anyway for making me write this stuff.
This is so NOT how I wanted it to be. I had such good ideas on how this would play out and I just couldn't get the words right no matter how hard I tried. So it goes, I guess.
Please be tolerant and kind with your C&C. I do want honesty, though. ::sigh::
Thanks for reading my sorry try at a Songfic. ^_^ Duosgrl