Pain is a temporary thing
I open my eyes to a bright sun, but it's too bright. I hear the birds chirping their little songs, but it's too loud. I smell the salt water as it runs along the shore, but it just doesn't smell like I remember it. I feel the sand rub against my body, but it just feels grainy and gritty. Nothing is the same anymore and I don't know how to get everything back.
You see, I left everything behind-family, friends, and best friends-because of him. His name is Al. And Al is the cause of all of my problems, or at least I like to blame it on him. It just makes everything easier. Because if I truly owned up to it, I know everything is my fault. I really didn't have to drop everything because of him, I chose to.
So now I'm here, on an abandoned beach in California with a glass bottle shoved in the sand and my last victim wondering where I wandered off to. Usually, as soon as they go to sleep-which happens around 3 or 4 in the morning- I make my way back to my sandy haven. I've been doing this for about one and a half years on every single Saturday. Every other day I'm busy with work, but Saturday is my free day.
Nobody was surprised when I dropped everything to come here. It was kind of expected, or at least that's what I've been told. I was always so uptight. There was never a strand of hair out of place, everything was organized, and I had everything under control. Everyone was just waiting for me to break. I swore I never would break, that I would be different, that I was strong enough to always be perfect. But that was completely idiotic of me to ever think that. Though, I never would have imagined to break the way I did. I would've expected a full out explosion, as would everyone, but instead all that happened was a few whispered words and a plane to Cali.
So that's pretty much me: a broken girl with no friends or family, only a job to keep her entertained. I guess I'm okay with that now. Not much I can do to change it.
I pull myself off the sand. I fell asleep out here again. I look down at my Fitbit and see that it's almost seven in the morning. I sprint to my small cape cod and rush around, trying to get ready for work.
I'm gonna be late!
I run out of my house in a black pencil skirt and a purple blouse. As soon as I get to my car, I throw open the door and speed out of my driveway. I drive past all the cars I see. Some beep at me, I get flipped off a few times, and people are yelling but I don't care. Work is the only thing on my mind right now.
My clock blinks 7:15 as I pull into the parking lot. I'm late.
I hurry into the front door and run by our secretary, Mary. She smiles and waves but all I can spare is a little grin in return.
I throw open a glass door to reveal a meeting going on. I duck my head and quickly go to my seat.
"Nice of you to join us." My friend Christina whispers.
"Late night." I mumble back.
"Hmm really? Who'd you do this time?" She smirks.
"I don't know." I whisper back.
She snorts. "Typical." She murmurs.
"Shut up. Terri's looking at us." I warn and quickly turn my head towards the tall, white haired man.
He goes on and on about our company's financial state and how to improve our business. Our company is fine just the way it is. No need for improvements.
"I'm considering cutting some of our agents." Terri mentions.
"You're going to cut some of your employees?" I ask.
"Possibly, we're considering it." He responds.
"I don't think that's a good idea."
"What do you mean?" He questions me.
"Well those charts show our income in the past five years, right?" He nods his head. "Well then it looks like we've been improving a lot."
"But not enough. And cutting employees is our quickest solution."
"How much do you pay your employees on average per year?"
"Hmm… a rough estimate would be around $50,000."
"And each agent is making you at least $60,000, right?"
"That's correct."
"So why would you take away your main benefactors? If you drop your agent you'll probably wind up losing a lot more money than you are now."
"True…" Terri pauses to consider this. "What would you suggest we do, Tris?"
I turn my head towards Christina and raise my eyebrows hoping that she'll help me. She just shrugs her shoulders.
"Umm…" I pause. Then I think of an idea. "Work on your advertisements. Advertising is everything. And get some training for our new agents. We need them prepared to start bringing in the big bucks." I state.
"Is that it?"
"Yes?" I answer like a question.
"Okay then, give me a pitch next Monday I want all the pros and cons: tell me why that's a better idea than cutting some people." He rubs his chin. "Anyone have any other ideas?" He grumbles.
He's not used to being told what to do.
The room is silent. After another half an hour of him talking, Terri finally dismisses us.
"Thank God, I thought it would never end." Christina groans as we walk out of the building.
"I know, I'm honestly so glad we're out of there. I didn't know how much more I could stand." I rolled my eyes.
"I know girl!" Chris laughs. "Wanna get lunch?"
"Sure." I respond.
We walk straight ahead to the only place we ever go to: Aroma Mocha. It's a small cute café across from our workplace that we fell in love with the day we first walked in.
After ordering our food, we find a seat and wait for our coffees and food to come.
"So, tell me about last night." Christina leans on the table.
"Eh, nothing really changes. I meet a hot guy, we go back to his house, and I wind up waiting till he falls asleep to leave." I tell her.
"Nothing new? You're not gonna go see him again?" She asks.
"Chris, you know me. A one night stand is strictly one night. I never contact them afterward."
She sighs. "Yeah. You know I'm all for a little fun, but don't you just want to have one guy to be with, like ever?"
"I'm fine with how my life is right now. No need to have a guy come and mess it up." Christina frowns at my response. "Speaking of, how's Will?" I change the subject.
Her eyes light up at the mention of his name.
"He's great! It's our 6 month tomorrow!" She squeals.
"Aw, is he going to get you anything?"
"How would I know?" She laughs.
We continue talking and our food finally comes. I leave to go home a little later. I let out a sigh and plop onto my couch. I fall asleep, too tired to let the fear of my old memories keep me up. But I should know better, they always haunt me.
I hurry home from work, excited to finally see Al. We haven't been able to hang out in a while, he's been so busy. But I've decided to surprise him tonight. I reach his door and reach under the welcome mat for the key. I quietly slide past the door and look around to see if he's here.
He must still be at work. He's been working so hard lately. I wonder why?
I walk over to the counter and see a jewelry magazine on the counter. It's flipped open to page with a diamond studded ring as the main focus.
Is… is he going to propose?
I jump up and down in excitement. No wonder he's been working so much! He needs money for a ring! I imagine our lives together: what our wedding will look like, what our next house will be, how many kids we'll have… everything.
My thoughts are interrupted by a loud moan down the hallway. I walk towards it, grabbing a knife from the drawer on my way. Is someone here? I walk towards the room where it's coming from… Al's bedroom. It couldn't be… he wouldn't… is that Al?
Another loud moan comes from the room. I creep over on the tips of my toes and peer around the door.
I stand in shock. I cannot move. My eyes stay glued to his brown hair as I hear him moan in pleasure. His lips are attached to a red haired, curvy woman's. He continues to moan and whispers sweet nothings into her ear. I hear him say the same thing that he always said to me: I love you.
I drop the knife from my hand and tears cloud my eyes. Al turns over, startled from the noise.
His mouth drops and he shoves her off her lap.
"Tris…" He whispers.
I turn and start to run. His hand grabs my bicep and he turns me to face him.
"I'm sorry." He speaks, out of breath.
"Let me go." I whisper.
"Tris. Tris, look I love you okay? That didn't mean anything." He smiles in assurance.
I stay silent. He pulls me in for a hug, but I keep my body as straight as a wooden board.
He cheated on me.
"See? It's as if nothing happened. We're meant to be together, so don't let my little mistake get in the way of us."
He. Cheated. On. Me.
"I hate you." I whisper almost silently.
"No. No, babe I love you!" He exclaims.
"Don't lie to me. You at least owe me that." I say in a deadly quiet tone and walk out the door, tears threatening to spill over.
"Tris wait! I do love you! Please listen to me!" Al shouts after me.
"We're over Al!" I yell back and run away before he can catch me. I sprint, tears blinding me, until I arrive back at my apartment. I fall to the floor and curl into a ball. It hurts so much. I scream in pain. I pull at my chest but it won't stop the heartache. I can't stop crying. My heart beats ten times faster than normal, but it just feels broken. Because of Al. I'm broken because of Al.