I'm Not the Only One

"Hello?" Quinn called out walking over the threshold into her home. There was no reply. She sighed and set her bag down on the bench by the door and turned on the light on her way to the kitchen.

Quinn took a look in the fridge and then the freezer for something to make for dinner, she found nothing of interest. Instead she reached for a bottle of wine. Quinn uncorked it and poured herself a large glass before sitting on the couch in front of the television. She flipped on the Bachelor and reached her phone.

No unread messages.

Quinn clicked the phone icon and dialed her husband's number, "Hi you've reached Finn I can't get to the phone right now please-" She angrily hung up, straight to voicemail. Where was he?

She closed her eyes and breathed in deeply. She didn't want to think the worst, but that's where her mind went anyway. It always did, but what else was she to think when he was out every other night of the week. She never knew where exactly he was or what went on. All she knew was that he came home late and smelled like booze.

She shook her head, instead choosing to focus on the reality love show in front of her. As fake as the fancy dates, and as staged as the mansion that they were living in was, the way that the man looked at the women was real. He was falling in love. Quinn remembered what it felt like to be looked at like that and it made her heart ache.

A few tears slipped down her cheeks as she sat alone on the couch. She wiped the tears away with the back of her hand, why am I crying? She thought to herself. I don't even know what the truth is. I don't know what he's doing. Maybe it's nothing. But even her own voice in her head wasn't convincing.

XXX

"Hey honey, I'm going to have to work late tonight." Finn stated tightening his tie as he came downstairs into the kitchen the next morning. "We have this huge meeting coming up that I have to get ready for." He kissed Quinn on the cheek before filling his cup of coffee from the pot that Quinn had brewed.

"Okay, good luck with the meeting preparations" Quinn forced a smile at him. "I'll see you whenever you get back."

"Bye Quinn." Finn waved as he exited, the sound of the bolt sliding into the door behind him echoed in the empty house.

Quinn leaned against the counter and took a long breath in and looked around her feeling lonelier than she ever had. That's when she noticed Finn's phone left on the counter. She couldn't help herself, she walked over and picked it up hesitating before she typed in the passcode and clicked on messages.

There were messages from an unsaved number, Quinn clicked on the number hoping that it was just a text sent to the wrong number or a contractor at work that he hadn't saved the number to. She held the phone against her chest and said a short prayer before she read the messages.

Unknown: hey baby, you still meeting me tonight?

Finn: I wouldn't miss it baby.

Unknown: Good, I've been missing you.

Finn: We were together last night

Unknown: I know but I can't help but miss how your lips feel on mine. I'll see you tonight. I love you. Xoxo

Finn: I love you too.

Tears slipped down Quinn's cheeks as she re-read the text messages over and over. She almost couldn't believe that it was happening. She had accused him of this before, it caused a huge argument. He said that she was crazy and that there was no way he'd ever cheat on her. The night of that argument he came home with a dozen roses and apologized for working so much. He looked her in the eyes and told her he loved her.

Apparently she wasn't the only one that he said "I love you" to.

She set the phone down gently and grabbed her purse, headed for the door. She wiped the tears away from her cheeks and just as she went to go open the door Finn stood in the doorway, "I forgot my phone" he muttered rushing in and then back out, phone in hand, just as quickly as he'd come in.

He was too engrossed in the fact that he left the phone that he didn't notice the mascara lines on Quinn's cheeks from the tears she'd been sheading only moments ago or that she had her bag and keys in hand despite the fact that she wasn't working today. Does he even notice me? Quinn thought

As soon as she heard his car pull out of the driveway and away from the house, she opened up the door and got into the car herself. Where she was going, she didn't know.

XXX

Quinn drove for almost an hour where she wound up in their small hometown of Lima, Ohio. She thought about stopping to see her mother, but that was no use. She was probably not even home, probably traveling with her new boyfriend she added bitterly.

She decided she was hungry and ended up at breadstix, one of her favorite places being that Italian was her go to comfort food. She sat, and ordered a glass of wine with her bowl of pasta. As she sat there, lost in her thoughts, and binging on breadsticks, the door to the restaurant opened and something made Quinn look up.

Standing there in dress blues was none other than Noah Puckerman. He looked around the restaurant and his brown eyes landed on hers.

He looked shocked to see her, but then again she felt the same way about seeing him again.

Before she knew what she was doing she stood and ran into his arms, squeezing him tightly, "You're back" she mumbled into his chest. She felt his arms wrap around her as well and instantly everything from the morning felt like a distant memory.

"Yeah, Q… I'm back" He said back, a small smile forming on his face. It felt good to see her, good to feel her small arms squeezing him tightly in a hug like they did just a few years ago.

They sat down together and spent the next few hours catching up, taking, laughing, things that old friends do. They talked about how life had been, Quinn leaving out the part about Finn's apparent infidelity. Puck talked about the air force, leaving out that his last deployment had almost been his last.

Even to an old friend, there are just things you can't say.

XXX

"So Mrs. Hudson" Quinn cringed as it came out of his mouth, "How come there are no little one's running around? I thought you were big on kids, being a pediatric nurse and all. Big career shift by the way" He laughed.

"I just…" She paused, "Finn is all busy with his career so there's just no time for them."

His eyebrows furrowed, "And you're okay with that?" He took a sip of his beer, "That's not something I ever saw you compromising on. Not after Beth."

"Things change I guess" Quinn mumbled nibbling on another breadstick.

He looked at her for a long time, "that they do." He finally replied back.

XXX

On the drive back home all Quinn could think about was where everything went wrong. Not just with Finn, but in her life. What happened with Puck, and when did she start compromising on her dreams? She thought back to when she finished nursing school and knew that almost everything could be traced back to one memory.

Two months after graduating and obtaining her license Quinn was at work when a trauma came into the ER. Car crash. Two critical. One child, age 8. One adult age 43. Quinn rushed out to help and gasped when she saw the child that was laying on the gurney.

Beth. Her baby girl, Beth.

There was a lot going on around her but everything suddenly seemed miles away, she couldn't breathe. Quinn felt her knees give out beneath her and just as she was about to hit the ground someone caught her. She didn't know who, but they held onto her tightly as she sobbed, feeling like her heart was being ripped out of her chest.

Nothing ever hurt like this. Nothing ever would.

On September 28 at 7:58pm, Beth Cochran passed away from a traumatic brain injury she received in the crash.

XXX

At the funeral for Beth, Quinn hardly spoke to anyone. She watched as everyone came up to Shelby and apologized for her loss. She knew that Shelby was feeling almost the same pain she was, but she couldn't help but be somewhat bitter toward the adoptive mother of Beth.

Finn came up and hugged his wife, "Quinn it's going to be okay, I know you're sad, I am too."

Quinn pushed him away, "Sad?" she said through gritted teeth, "You think I'm sad? I'm not sad, I'm destroyed. I can't sleep, I can't eat, I can't DO anything. I don't want to do anything. I am not sad. Sad is not the word you use for a mother who lost her child." Quinn spat. "And you don't get to comfort me and say you're sad, you're not her father and you never even wanted anything to do with her. So get away from me." Quinn spun on her heel and walked outside of the church.

The air was already cold, and Quinn's breath came out in puffs in front of her. She wrapped her arms around herself and looked at the grey clouds looming up above her head. More tears fell down her cheeks. Why? Quinn asked looking up, begging for some kind of answer.

She got no response besides a rustling of leaves on the ground.

Quinn jumped when a hand laid on her shoulder. She turned and saw Puck, "Hey Q" he wrapped her in a hug.

She didn't hug him back.

He let go and they were both silent for a long time, for the first time in five years they had nothing to say to one another. So Puck took her hand and she let him be her support.

It wasn't until after the funeral that Quinn finally spoke, "So you think that after all this time you can walk back in here and just be the knight in shining armor again… that was you at the hospital wasn't it?"

Puck nodded, "Yeah, I made it there… just to hear what happened, I didn't know what else to do." He spoke calmly.

Quinn's voice rose, "You don't get to come here and act like-"

"Quinn don't start with me, she was my daughter too. I lost her too. WE lost her." Puck snapped back at her.

Tears fell down Quinn's cheeks again, "You're right… I'm sorry. I just don't know what to do with myself. I yell at Finn because he doesn't understand what this feels like. I lost a huge part of me. I feel like I can't breathe anymore. I don't know how to be me knowing that she isn't down the street for me to go visit…. I don't-"Her voice broke off and the sobs came.

"You don't have to know right now, just take it one day at a time. That's all either of us can do."

Two days later Noah Puckerman left for deployment. That was the last time he spoke to Quinn.

XXX

It was 2am when Finn got home. Quinn was lying in bed pretending to be asleep when he walked into their room and started to get ready for bed. She choked back a sob feeling the bed shift from the added weight. "Baby, is something wrong?" Finn asked noticing her sniffling.

"Don't call me that." Quinn whispered.

"What?"

"I said don't call me that." She repeated no louder than the first time.

"Why wouldn't I call you that?" Finn seemed confused.

"Because I know I'm not the only one." She stated calmly pulling the blankets closer around her shoulders.

Finn had no reply.