Woohoo! Another SWAC episode! THE OFFICE IS ON TONIGHT! YESH! Anyone excited for Guest Who's Coming To Guest Star next Sunday (if you haven't already seen the spanish one :P)?? I am! And I have watched a LOAD of Jonas! Anyone else agree that Kevin is officially the funniest? "It all started that one time I had to tell that one girl the truth about one thing...it was then I realized...the truth is like a knife" XD loled forEVER just ask my friends!
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I don't like Sonny Monroe. Do I really have to repeat that? It's not like the movies. I don't just LIKE any random person (haha, get it? Random person? She's a Random! Okay never mind...).
Well, I know what like/love or whatever that word is for 'deep emotion' people like to use. But I don't understand why people like to tease you when you like/love someone. Like 'OH HAHA you like Sonny Monroe? She's waaaay outta your league, brah!'. Okay, well maybe that was my inner voice saying it, but that counts, right?
I'll tell you why I DON'T like Sonny Monroe.
Reason 1- Ehm Ehm...she's a Random. Hello? Randoms = total enemies. Total enemies = Chad no likey. So ha. Up in your face, stupid!
Reason 2- Her hair. It's the color of poop. Wonderful, silky, smells like chocolate chip cookies, shiny, poop. What kind of hair looks like that?!
Reason 3- Whenever I come into contact with her (which isn't very often), she electrifies me! I swear! She has magical powers or something! A bolt of electricity will literally go up my arm and my face will start to tingle. What kind of person does that?!
Since, I don't need another reason (I AM Chad Dylan Cooper)...and I can't think of anything else....I'm gonna stop there. Thinking about makes something in my chest hurt. It's all her fault. Not only does she electrify me, she tries to kill me when she's not even around! Curse her.
Well, I'll hardly classify that as love. More like insane serial killer material if you ask me. Which you won't. Because if you so much as mention Sonny Monroe's name around me, I will probably shove you into a trash bag and throw you into a box and ship that box to Canada where you will probably not have any good bacon because Canadian bacon isn't even bacon, you know? It's just ham! They lied to us! They lied to us good! And we fell for it! Just like people fall in love, we fell for Canadian bacon! And for what? So we can look at the bacon and not do anything about it actually NOT being bacon but say 'Wait a minute, that's not bacon...it's ham. How could we fall for this?!'. Just like Sonny. She's not a random! She's Sonny! how could I have fallen for her?!
No I didn't think that. I haven't 'fallen for her', I tell you. I'm just saying that because it's much easier than saying 'I might possible have feelings for her, but it's not in concrete because she's kind of like a dog, annoying but cute an lovable'. So it's probably just puppy love. But she's not a puppy...she's a human. Puppies are really cute, though. Not as cute as me, but they're up there.
I bet Sonny likes puppies. But maybe they just have a complicated relationship. She can't handle a puppy right now because she's too busy with work and school. Maybe she's a little mad at the puppies for biting her, but really the puppies just want to see her mad because she's cute when she's mad. I bet that's it.
Stupid puppies. STOP MAKING SONNY MAD!
I don't like Sonny, you see. I keep tell you but you don't understand! I don't like Sonny, I don't like Sonny, I don't like Sonny...
"FINE, I'LL ADMIT IT I KIND OF LIKE SONNY JUST SHUT UP!" I yelled. Whoops. I realized I was in the cafeteria. When did I get here?
"What?" I heard the dumb reply of my cast. Then the awkward part came.
"Chad Dylan Cooper, this better be a joke!" Sonny stood behind me, tapping her foot.
"Uhm...well...you see, you're like Canadian bacon. And...PUPPIES!"
And with that, I ran from that cafeteria faster than I have ever run in my entire life.
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Haha thanks for reading that totally random drabble!