Deafening Colour
Forced to lie while the circles circle and spin and let loose their colour for only me to see. The girl she sits but does not speak but every now and then a smile passes over her faces and the circles spin faster and the colours grow more intense like the volume being turned up as the blues and greens and reds shout at me like I can't hear them. I can hear nothing else, except her smile of course. They always looked like I was wrong when I cried back to the deafening colours but they would shout too if they had heard what I heard.
"It's okay, David. I can hear them too," she tells me, smiling that smile with such volume that I feel my ear drums about to burst.
"You can?" the tears well but there is nothing I can do, my hands laden down with leather lined lead, strapped to rock made of cotton and springs. I wanted to touch her and to hit her and scream but the air is so think with noise and motion. She gets up and the world screams at me and the thickness of the air seems drawn to her. For a second I feel like there are others in the room, but who could tell with the deafening colour, but I felt it nonetheless.
She's by my side and I can't help but cry.
"You just need to turn the volume down, don't you silly?" she says to me. She touches the end of my nose and gently turns the skin to the left and then it's gone. Nothing but clarity.
She smiles with her two smiles and then I see clearly for the first time. I see it all with such perfect clarity. No screaming colours and nothing blocking my view.
My scream is so shocking that the orderly jumps back and I am sure that everyone down the hall has heard me. My restraints rip against my skin try with all that I can to pull myself free from the bed. The skin rubs raw but still I try.
I must be struggling so hard that the orderly feels the need push down on my chest with both hands. His calloused hands hurt against my ribs as I struggle. He thinks I'm insane. But I've never seen like this before. Never has it been so clear.
A nurse rushes in, syringe ready and aimed. Her aim is not so good though perhaps it would have been better if I hadn't kept on fighting against her and the man weighing down upon my chest. They would struggle too it they were me. She has jabbed me three times before she finally injects me and I feel the blood drip down my arm. It doesn't take long to take effect. And the air grow heavy again. They colours cry at me once more.
She's sitting next to me stoking my hair. She leans over and kisses me on both my cheeks at the same time.
"See David," she whispers sweetly to my ear through the deafening noise "It's better here isn't it?"
I try to cry out to her and she nods to me and steps away. The grows thick once again and then she is gone, but she has left me something. A butterfly of deafening colour. With each flutter of its wings it threatens to crush my skull with the sheer weight of the noise.
It comes to rest on my head. A beautiful and horrible gift.