I do not own any characters that are associated with btvs.
This is a short story that has nothing to do with the others that I am writing, it is set in the time of W/T breakup and it was how Tara could have felt and reacted. I think we all need to realize that she is a strong character and not a weak stuttering baby. I respect all author's ideas and inputs, but sometimes people make her look weak. She really is one of the strongest characters the show had. Enjoy!
Tara sat alone in her dormitory looking up at the night sky, much like she did when she waited for Willow to come around and tell her that she chosen to be with Oz. The odds were in her favor, as it turned out because Willow had chosen to be with Tara. She thought for sure the former lover of her Willow would win her over, some things still surprised her. Tonight would not be such a pleasant night, she and the red head had just ended their relationship, worst of all, it was her that had to walk away from it. After two years of being with the one she loved, she had to leave. The Willow that existed in this time, was not the one she fell in love with. Tara was angry, bitter and broken; how could Willow use her like that? How could she abuse what they had? Did their love mean nothing? These were the thoughts that were swarming the blonde's mind and smashing her heart into tiny pieces. Teardrops fell from Tara's eyes, she shook her head, she would not continue to cry, this was not her fault.
Oh how nice it must be, to have everyone on your side. Tara said bitterly out loud. Nobody had called to check on her, in fact, as she was walking out of the Summer's house that she had shared with, who she thought was her family, Dawn shunned her when she tried to explain the situation, when she tried to explain that she still loved her and would never leave her life. Tara had endured some horrific abuse from the hands of her father and brother, but seeing the hate and pain in Dawn's eyes was far more agonizing. I gave you everything Willow, EVERYTHING! She screamed into the empty room, not caring if her neighbors heard. Tara was not one to drink heavily, but on this night, she felt like drinking into an oblivion. She wiped the tears off of her face and left her dorm, not really caring what would happen. She was always the rational one, always the one who walked a straight line, well tonight, she would give in like everyone else. Would she feel shame? Maybe...but at this point, what did it matter.
Tara decided to visit a bar that she had never been to before, if she went to The Bronze, the employees would wonder where Willow was and she might run into Buffy who frequented there a lot on patrolling nights. That was the last thing she wanted, she not only had to push away Willow, but she felt she also had to remove her "friends" from her life as well, after all, there was no way that they would give a damn about her if Willow was not involved. After hailing a cab and deciding on a location, Tara walked into a bar called The watering hole. This was a known lesbian bar outside of Sunnydale, she wanted to be around like minded people tonight, and she was definitely in no mood to be hit on by some drunk guys. She spotted a bar stool on the far end of the bar, and decided to plant herself there;this way she knew she had less of a chance of being bothered. Hey, can I help you? the bartender asked her as she sat down. A Grateful Dead please. Tara responded, those were probably the strongest drinks she had ever had and she was ready for it. The bartender smiled and began to mix the drink. Tara looked around and noticed a red head noticing her. Great, she sighed to herself, Just what I need. Tara was relieved to see the bartender with her drink. Her name is Aly. The bartender said with a wink. Oh..I'm not interested, but thank you. Tara replied. She sipped on her drink slowly, then decided to down it. She held her breath and tipped the glass back into her mouth and let the tangy liquid pour down her throat. Her eyes watered and she knew another would probably impact her, but she decided to go all out. Damn, haven't seen anyone down a drink like that in awhile, something on your mind? Aly had asked Tara this as she sat down next to her. You know, this and that. Tara replied with really no given emotion. Can I have another please, and whatever she wants. Tara told the bartender. Oh my god, I just bought a girl a drink at a bar. Tara thought to herself. She smiled to herself and felt panic in her chest. What are you doing, seriously Tara? What are you doing! Her nerves where on edge, but she remained calm. Oh...thank you. Aly said with a smile. I think I'll have a raspberry kamakazi shot Linda. Linda shook her head and smiled. So, I'm guessing you come here a lot, seeing that you know the bartender by name? Tara asked Aly. Yeah, I've been in here a few times, well, actually, it's like a second home. Aly said with a chuckle. What is it with me and red heads with addictions? Tara thought to herself. She wasn't here to judge however, and continued to talk to her new found "friend." Linda sat the drinks in front of the two and walked away to let them continue their conversation. Tara downed this drink as well, partially to continue her mission of getting drunk and forgetting about Willow, and partially because she was unsure of where tonight was headed. She could feel the warming effect of the alcohol rising from her stomach to her chest, her head was starting to feel cloudy and she was definitely loosening up. So, you never did tell me, why you are drinking like that. Aly inquired after she drank her own drink. I mean, you don't have to tell me, if you don't want. I am just curious about you. She continued with a smile. Tara sighed and told Linda to give them another round before talking to Aly about her situation. Well, me and my girlfriend just broke up. I know, I sound like a typical loser in a bar, but that's what happened and that's why I am here. Tara slurred slightly as she told the red head this. Linda placed the drinks in front of the two and began to clean glasses and listen in at the same time. Tara downed this third one a little slower than the last two, but the effect was still full force, she was definitely buzzing hard at this point. Wow, I am really sorry to hear that. Aly said as she placed her hand on Tara's arm. She must be blind is all I can say. Tara smiled and looked at Aly for really the first time. Aly was a pretty girl, she was prone to red heads anyway, the hair mixed with her hazel eyes and full lips were strong appeals to the blonde. I know I am not perfect, but I was really good to her. Tara replied. Seems like the good ones always get taken for granted. Aly said as she searched Tara's eyes. Tara smiled sadly and before she knew it, the two were kissing heavily.
We are about to close up ladies. Linda said interrupting the two. Oh, umm..sorry. Tara replied. What do I owe you? she asked the bartender. Twenty eight even. Linda replied to the blonde. Tara handed her the cash and she and Aly walked outside. I wasn't done yet. Tara said playfully to the redhead as she pulled her in for another kissing session. Aly broke the kiss after a few minutes. You know, this doesn't have to end anytime soon, we can go back to my place. I am guessing you don't live around here. Aly said with certainty. Yeah, I live in Sunnydale. We could definitely do that. Tara replied as her heart raced with excitement. The two left in Aly's car, Aly was not intoxicated and was able to drive. They had barely pulled into the driveway before the two started heavily kissing again. Come on. Aly said seductively as she pulled Tara by the arm into her apartment and then into her bedroom.
Tara watched the red head as she turned on slow music and lit candles. She then pushed Tara onto the bed and slowly stripped her own clothes off before taking the blondes off as well. Tara pulled her on top of her, then rolled her over so that she could be on top. She looked down at the woman with hungry eyes and kissed her aggressively and began grinding her center into Aly's center, both were extremely wet. Aly moaned with happiness. Go inside of me Tara, I need to feel you inside. She panted into Tara's ear. Tara pumped two fingers inside of the red head slowly at first, then faster and harder until the woman climaxed. You...feel...so...good. Aly struggled to say the words as she laid panting and cumming. It was her turn to please her guest and when she composed herself, that is exactly what she would do. Aly laid Tara's arms above her head and rubbed her hands down Tara's toned arms, the work outs with Buffy had been paying off. She then rubbed her hands down Tara's sides and down her legs. Her head was now at Tara's center and she dipped her tongue onto her wet and throbbing clit. Mmmm..Tara moaned. Aly sucked gently on the knob and then rolled her tongue around the folds as Tara arched her back. She lapped up Tara's essence only to make the blonde cum over and over again. Tara reached her peak and her legs began to shake. She rode the orgasm out and the two laid in Aly's bed and enjoyed the company of one another. After Aly had fallen asleep, Tara wrote her a note to tell her thank you and included her number and called a cab to pick her up. She did not want to be in a relationship with someone else, and she was pretty sure that Aly did not want that either.
Over the next few months, Aly and Tara talked over text and shared the occasional phone call, but when Aly started hinting that she wanted more than what the two had that one night, Tara decided to end any type of communication. She felt horrible about giving herself to someone else in that way, especially with the knowledge of Willow being "clean."
******(Summer's household)
Dawn, did you borrow my clogs again? a slightly frustrated Willow shouted down the hall to the younger girl's room. Yeah, do you need them back? Dawn replied in question. Yeah, I think I am going to wear them today. Willow said as she entered Dawn's room. The brunette handed her the clogs and motioned for Willow to sit down on her bed. So...yesterday me and Tara had a movie day...and you may or may not have been brought up. Dawn said with a smile, she knew Willow would want to know all of the information. What did she say? The red head asked as she set down. Tell me everything. Well, she asked about you and talked about how proud she was of you for not doing magick. Every time I said your name, she smiled. Dawn said with a grin. Oh yeah? Willow asked. She did? Mmhmm, I think you should at least call her or something. Dawn said as she nudged Willow lightly in the ribs. Do you think she would really want to hear from me? Willow asked with a tinge of fear in her voice. She could not handle the rejection. Willow, she talked to you at Buffy's birthday party and she even dressed up in new clothes, that should tell you she wanted to impress you, oh AND she stood up for you to Anya, she totally still loves you. Dawn really wanted the two back together, they had taken care of her when Buffy and her mother died and she felt as if her parents had gotten a divorce, this was a feeling she was all too familiar with. I think I will then, I'll wait til tonight when I know she is probably home. The red head said with a grin.
******(UC Sunnydale)
Tara and her class mate, Iris were working on a group project together for an interpersonal communications class. So, you want to do a project on the media and it's influence? Iris asked. Yeah, if that's cool with you. I just feel that we could do a really amazing project on the topic. Tara replied. Sounds good to me, so do you want to meet up tonight and do some research? Iris asked. We can do that, I stay in the Michael's dorm, room thirty-four. Want to meet at my place? I have a few books on the influence of the media already. Tara replied. Sure! what time? Iris asked the blonde. How about seven thirty? Tara asked It's a date! Iris responded.
****(Summer's household)
Okay, Willow, you can do this. The red head said aloud to herself. She picked up the cordless phone on her bed side table and dialed Tara's number then immediately hung up. Okay...maybe not. She sighed. She picked the phone up again and dialed Tara's number, it rang three times and an unfamiliar voice answered. Umm...hi, is Tara Mclay there? Willow asked into the receiver. Oh, she just stepped out for a minute. The voice replied. Can I take a message? N..no...no thanks. Willow hung up the phone stunned. Who was this woman answering Tara's phone. Is she seeing someone else, is she sleeping with someone? Has she moved on? Willow's mind was working quickly with possibilities. She was afraid that she had lost her Tara forever, if someone else saw how amazing and perfect she was, they would definitely treat her better and Tara would forget about her for sure. Tears streamed down the red head's face and she laid her head down and fell asleep, her alarm clock reading eight thirty.
****Tara's dorm
Tara, you just got a phone call, but the woman didn't leave her name. Iris said to the blonde as Tara sat down two steaming cups of coffee. Hmm...wonder who it was, I never get calls after seven. Tara replied. Thank you for the coffee, it's just what the doctor ordered. Iris said as she slowly sipped her beverage. The two studied and wrote a rough draft of the essay they would present to the class in just two days. Well, I think we definitely got a lot done. Tara said with a feeling of accomplishment. I agree, we should meet up tomorrow morning for a celebratory coffee and bagel on me. Want to meet at eight before classes at The Espresso Pump? Iris asked with a smile. I'll be there. Tara replied as she walked Iris out into the dormitory hallway. After washing up for bed, Tara laid down and began to think to herself, she did a lot of this while sleeping alone. Did Willow call her earlier and get confused by Iris answering the phone? She began to feel panic rising up into her chest, she did not want the red head to think that she had met someone else. She looked at her clock, it was too late to call Willow and find out. She would surely be in bed. Tara fell asleep with the certainty that she would soon talk to Willow and slip into casual conversation that she was still single. Seven a.m rolled around and Tara groggily rolled over and turned her alarm clock off and hesitantly got out of bed to get dressed to meet Iris at the coffee shop. She was glad that The Espresso Pump was in walking distance so she did not have to rush. Good morning, she said to an already sitting Iris as she walked into the shop. Morning, I almost didn't want to get up this morning, but then I realized getting a degree and finishing up college would probably be a better idea. Iris replied with a smile. The two ordered breakfast and conversed happily.
*****Summer's household
Morning Buff. Willow said drowsily to the slayer as she sat down to eat a bowl of cereal with her. Hey Will. Sleep well? The petite blonde asked. Yeah, I slept okay. How was patrolling? Willow asked as she shoved a spoon full of sugary goodness into her mouth. It went, killed two vamps and a Rolar demon. Buffy said matter o factly. Kill count a little low? The red head asked Not too much action lately, but I am actually very okay with that. Buffy replied. So...Dawn told me that you were thinking of calling Tara last night, did you? Buffy asked with a smile. I did, but someone else answered her phone. Willow replied smugly. I'm sure it wasn't what you think Will. Buffy replied, mentally praying that it was nothing serious. I hope not. I am going to go see her today before she goes to class. I want to get to school a little early today so I can do that. Willow said. She was not going to just sit around and not try to talk to Tara, she figured she would have more of an impact talking in person. Willow put her empty bowl into the sink and got dressed. Before walking out the door Buffy hugged her and said good luck. Willow called a cab and stepped out onto the campus, not sure of what would happen. Willow walked into the main hallway of the UC Sunnydale building and waited at a spot where she knew she would spot Tara. " Hi, um, Tara, how are you? W- well, I was wondering, maybe, you would wanna go out sometime? For coffee, food, kisses and gay love? Hi Tara.
Guess what? Magic-free now for, insert number, days now." Willow was reciting to herself what she would say. She looked up and saw Tara, her heart skipped a beat and she began walking toward her. Her smile faded as she saw that Tara was talking to another woman and the woman kissed her on the cheek and walked off. Willow was shattered, this was probably the same woman who had answered her phone...this was probably who had found her amazing Tara and had taken away any possibility of the two of them ever reuniting. Willow walked away quickly, feeling hopeless. Tara looked over the crowd and saw Willow scurrying away, she frowned, she knew the red head's brain and she knew that it was deceiving her. She would explain, she had to, her heart was aching for her former love. After classes, she would make a point of it.
***Summer's household.
Willow had actually decided to cut classes and mope around the house after what she had seen. She sat down at the kitchen table to do research on her laptop to try and take her mind off of things. Buffy walked downstairs when she heard that someone else was home.
"How come you're all, home, hearth, and DSL anyway? I thought you were gonna go see Tara.
Saw her. Willow replied
Saw her completely.
Ouch. Buffy said with a frown. Just got a scratch from all that brittle.
It's when I was seeing her, she was seeing someone else. A girl. Willow replied bitterly
You mean I mean not "seeing" seeing. Buffy replied raising her eyebrows
Well, maybe.I don't know, it was inconclusive, and I didn't stick around to find out.
Might have magicked my fist through a wall or something. Willow said with bitterness in her voice.
Will, I'm sorry.I mean, they're probably just friends. Buffy said with hope.
I press my lips against my friends' all the time. Willow said frowning.
I'm sure they're just you fall for Willow, you stay fallen.
Thanks, Buffy."
Here, how about some feel better pancakes...er..I mean waffles. Buffy said. She wished she had chosen another breakfast food since Tara used to make them all pancakes frequently.
I'm not really hungry, but thank you. I think I am just going to go upstairs and take a nap and hope that when I wake up, this was all just a dream. Willow said as she walked upstairs to her room.
When Willow awoke, it was well after five p.m. Well, everything else in my life is going to hell, why not the time too? she asked herself out loud. She walked to the end of the hallway to the bathroom to freshen up a little. She refused to be a stinky, un-hygienic depressed person. She turned the shower on and let the warm water wash over her, she thought of Tara and touched herself and cried. She was certain she would never truly feel Tara again. She walked back into her room and put normal clothes on, though she would not be going out or doing anything, she wanted to pretend she still had a life and did not want to be confined to only wearing pajamas. She picked up a book on her bedside table and began flipping through it, not really obtaining the words. After reading a page for what felt like the hundredth time, she heard a familiar voice in her doorway "Things fall apart., they fall apart so hard. a forlorn looking Tara said
Tara? Willow sat up in surprise
You can't ever put 'em back the way they were. The blonde continued
-Are you OK? Willow was very confused as she asked this
I'm sorry, it's just you know, it takes time."You can't just ,expect
"I know. Willow interrupted her
There's just so much to work has to be built again, on both sides.
You have to learn if if we're even the same people we were, if you can fit in each other's lives.
It's a long important we just skip it? Can you just be kissing me now? Tara said with hopeful eyes as she looked deeply at Willow." Willow was stunned for a moment, when everything hit her, she abruptly stood up and walked to her love, the two kissed passionately before going to bed together. As they made love, it was as if time stopped and life was full and beautiful again, all of the pain and hurt the two had endured did not matter anymore. Willow and Tara had found each other again, as they always swore they would.
The end.
(I know I made some things a little different in the ending, but I did not want to go into any more of the sad stuff with Xander, Anya, Buffy and Spike.) The script that was not my writing is in quotation marks. Hope you enjoyed. If you liked this, check out my other stories and keep tuned in for more of my series stories. Oh and please please please comment. Thanks!