~ Beautiful Disaster ~

Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's Anatomy. This is just for fun.

AN: Okay, so one day, this idea kind of fell into my head. I was like, what if, on Grey's Anatomy . . . And the idea refused to leave. So finally I started writing this, and, well, here it is. I loved the cast of season three, I thought it was perfect, so I'm still not completely over the fact that it's gone. And I have no idea where Greys is being taken, what with all the new characters and operating on pigs and stuff. So, yeah, I wrote this instead of being seriously annoyed all the time.

Most of the stuff in Greys has happened so far, up to partway through season 5. This will quickly become AU, but oh well. In this story Burke and Cristina are (mostly) happily married, so Owen Hunt doesn't exist. Neither does Sadie, or Dr. Dixon. Also, Hahn was just filling in for Burke at Seattle Grace, and then she left.

This starts out mid season 5 so here's what's been happening: Mark fell in love with a cancer patient, Katie. However, she is not a Denny. She fought the cancer and survived, and is doing fine. Bailey and her husband are doing better and she recommended her couples therapist to Derek and Meredith, who are trying to resolve some issues in their relationship. The Chief and Adele are back together, and Alex and Izzie are starting to come clean about past issues, but she is trying to deal with seeing Denny.

Addie and Kevin were on a date when a past arrest let out of jail confronts him. Kevin is shot multiple times in the chest and Addie is shot in the side. She holds him as he dies and bleeds out, and she can do nothing. She makes a full recovery in St. Ambrose, but he is dead. Addison tries to move on in a new relationship with Pete, but he cheats on her just hours after she apologizes because she is not ready to sleep with him yet. He is very drunk and hits her. She tells him that it is over and leaves immediately.

Okay, on with the story.

The steady beat of the heart monitor sounded even in Mark Sloan's dreams. He could hear Katie's breathing beside him and knew he had fallen asleep in her room again. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and sat up.

"Morning there, manwhore."

This was their private joke because since Katie had cancer, she and Mark had never slept together. Which, strangely, had not been as hard as he thought it was going to be. He noticed her bags were packed.

"Goin' somewhere?" he drawled.

She sighed, pulling her short brown hair back into a ponytail. "Mark, I've been cooped up in this hospital for months. Not that it wasn't wonderful, with you, but I need to get out. I need to go and enjoy life because I finally can."

Mark nodded. They had both known this was coming. He loved her, but it wasn't the same as the one other time he had truly been in love. And she wasn't ready to commit, since she was free of cancer for the first time in her life.

He studied her face, which he had come to know better than his own and almost as well as . . . well, he didn't need to go there now. Katie had impish, mischievous features and hazel eyes. She brightened rooms even though her skin was pale from the lack of sun. He knew where this was going, and he couldn't pretend it wasn't hard. "I know this is where we go our separate ways, Katie, I know that. We've both known that for a little while now. But I just wanted you to know . . . you turned me into somebody. You turned me into a man. I gave up manwhoring because of you. You turned me into who I finally needed to be . . . This was good, but it won't last. It did teach me a lot of things, though. You are so special to me, and I've never had what I had with you before. I'd never had a real relationship. But I know you know there's someone else, someone I've never been able to stop thinking about. She's the only one I have ever seen myself marrying, ever seen myself having kids with. I love you, and you taught me how to be what she needs. That sounds kind of awful . . ." he broke off, chuckling.

Katie just smiled and reached over into his front scrub pocket, where a battered picture of three people mashed together always resided. Mark and Derek were grinning on either side of a gorgeous redhead, whose smile always lit up Mark's world.

"I know about her. I know you've always loved her. We were good for each other, but now you've got to go find her. I do love you Mark."

He stood up and hugged her. "Love you too, Katie." He choked slightly around the words. Mark the manwhore, professing his love. "Good luck out there."

Derek sighed, running his hand through his hair. He drummed his fingers on the side of the chair. Meredith patted them, and he managed a weak smile for her. Couples therapy was helping, but progress was slow. The ten year age difference was hard to overcome sometimes.

"I still say the root of the problem is that Meredith refuses to consider marriage or children with me." Derek said in response to the therapist's question.

"I told you, Derek, I'm just not ready yet. I've committed to this relationship, but I don't want anything more right now." Meredith retorted.

Derek sighed. He thought about how eager Addison had been for marriage, how she had trusted him. How she had wanted kids so badly . . . but had wanted to make sure they had a good home before having them, which meant working on their careers. I should probably stop thinking about her, he thought to himself.

"Derek," the therapist asked, "Do you think the kids and marriage thing is such an issue because you're afraid that your time is running out to have those things?"

Derek shrugged.

The therapist pushed further, "Do you think this fear is because of the impending anniversary of the miscarriage?"

"Miscarriage? What miscarriage? I don't know what you're talking about." Derek said carelessly.

The therapist frowned, checking the file again. "Your previous wife's miscarriage, I mean."

"What?" Derek asked in a deadly quiet voice.

Addison sat on her bed, the black mascara making tear tracks down her cheeks. She knew she was a mess. It was obvious. She was trying to pull it together and go to work to be strong Addison, but it wasn't working.

She closed her eyes, and saw the dark alley again.

She and Kevin had been walking, holding hands. They were enjoying a romantic walk through the moonlit city.

Suddenly a shot rang out, just missing Kevin's shoulder. "Kevin!" someone laughs. "Long time, no see."

There was a confused frown on Kevin's face, but he didn't look worried yet. Then a figure stepped out of the shadows. Addison later learned that Kevin had arrested the man six years ago on assault charges.

"And who is this?" the man asked. He shrugged. "Sorry to ruin your evening, doll face, but . . ." He shot Kevin in the chest. Once, twice, again and again and again. Kevin had on nice clothes, they were out on a date, but Addison had never wished so fiercely for the SWAT ensemble. She stepped in front of Kevin, trying to push him out of the line of fire, and got clipped in the side.

He had already lost so much blood, and she couldn't cover all his extensive injuries. It was over in a matter of minutes. Addison was growing weak from the loss of blood herself. She panicked as the man came nearer and nearer to her, but as she fainted, she glimpsed the police arriving.

She woke up in the ICU a few days later, where Charlotte King told her what had happened.

Addison knew she hadn't been in love with Kevin, but she had cared about him. His funeral had been held in Kentucky, his home state, while she was still recovering from the gunshot and surgery.

She had gone to the practice and pretended everything was okay, but really, she was alone. She was friends with Dell and Violet and Cooper, but they couldn't be close friends because she was the boss. Naomi and Sam were polite but both clearly still pissed at her. Pete had been there, though. She had leaned on him in the weeks of healing from Kevin. She had told him, not everything, but a lot of things about herself, a lot about Seattle. After that they had been an official couple.

A week later, when she though she might be in a functioning relationship, she had warned Pete about sex. She had told him she was still hurting over Kevin and just wasn't ready. Later that night, after work, she had walked into his apartment and found him with twin blondes. "I thought you were working late," was all he said. She lost it inside after that. Quietly she told him that she was done, that whatever they had had was over, and that she had depended on his and trusted him since Kevin died. He had gotten mad, and, clearly very drunk, grabbed her and tried to kiss her. She had pulled away and attempted to leave, but not before he struck her face, sending her to the floor. She left without a word, without one look back after that.

She spent the next week lying to her coworkers and concealing the bruise with make-up.

So now she was alone, so utterly, completely alone, as the gut-wrenching sobs wracked her body. At utter rock bottom, she admitted to the truth: She missed Seattle, missed surgeries everyday, missed Seattle Grace. Hell, she even missed the rain.

Thank you for reading! This is my first fic so you can let me know if you think the chapters should be longer or shorter or whatever. Also, although I've got the basic plot planned out in my head (and parts of it written), I am open to plot suggestions or things that you want to see happen in the story.