Sans loved his brothers smile. Unlike his lazy grin, his smile lit up his entire face. His cheeks flushed orange and his eyes crinkled, sparkling, his typical apathy abandoned. Seeing that smile made Sans' soul flutter, and now was no exception despite the dread that dragged his soul down.
In Papyrus' arms he held Red, who had appeared with his brother in their universe a few months prior. The two sat on the couch, Red settled comfortably between the others long legs, his head tucked under Papyrus' chin. They had yet to notice the azure eyes observing them, and Sans was not about to intrude upon their tender moment.
Witnessing Papyrus experience genuine joy was sufficient reason to tie up edges of his mouth and pretend that he wasn't falling apart. Sans had accepted that Papyrus' feelings for him were not reciprocated long ago, and he had pushed his confusing longing aside until it lingered only in the recesses of his mind. The desperate yearning was awakened when he had the misfortune of watching Papyrus fall in love with an alternate version of him.
How cruel it was, to watch the person he loved wholeheartedly find the piece they'd been missing. The two monsters transformed when in each others presence, both glowing with love that couldn't be false. Red gave Papyrus something Sans simply couldn't.
He wished that he could cast his feeling into the wind to be swept away without consequence, but they clawed at his soul painfully and let shadows of self doubt leak in. What was wrong with him? What was it Papyrus saw in Red that he lacked? Was it his love of puzzles and nicecream that made his brother look past him, never seeing him as more than an affectionate sibling? Never seeing him as more than a child?
Sans wished that his desire for Papyrus' happiness could outweigh his own selfishness, but he was not so angelic. Every time he saw them intertwined, as if they were made for one another, envy flared inside him and he had to avert his gaze lest tears threaten to gather. But Papyrus finally had the love he deserved, and for Sans that was enough. No matter how it hurt to see them fit so perfectly together, Sans would protect their budding romance from his inner turmoil.
Red, too, deserved the bliss of belonging with someone. The skeleton's harsh edges had softened under Papyrus' touch, gentleness smoothing the cracks webbing his bones from years of hardship. Where there had been fear there was warmth, Red's nervousness fading and his self esteem rocketing under Papyrus' care. They completed each other effortlessly.
Sans blinked, glancing away from the pair on the sofa. Tears stung his eye sockets and he struggled to keep them at bay, moving unnoticed to the back door.
"I'm going out, Papy, have a good day!" His voice did not betray his tears, and Sans didn't await acknowledgment before bounding outside.
Snowflakes drifted gently onto Snowdin, fairy lights strung from the town's buildings casting a soft yellow light. The streets were empty, and Sans realized that it was late in the evening.
A chill seeped into his bones, wind nipping at his face. Shivering, he rubbed his arms. Muffet's bakery glowed invitingly, pastries displayed in the window. On another night Sans might have had to collect his brother from Muffet's, dragging him home because Papyrus was too drunk to stumble home. But those nights were gone, and instead of blackout drinking Papyrus spent quiet nights watching television with Red.
Tears pricked at his eyes and Sans turned away from the town.
He wandered aimlessly, eventually stopping at the waterfall. Echo flowers murmured eavesdropped conversations, and he stooped down to stroke the soft blue petals. Cupped hands shielded his whispered confession, the flower repeating him in a voice so remorseful he didn't recognize it.
'I'm sorry, I love you, Papy.'
Had those truly been his words? What had he meant, uttering something so dramatic aloud? Was it a parting with his forbidden emotions, an apology for his failure as a brother, or a goodbye to his beloved sibling?
The notion of it being a farewell seemed absurd, but the more he thought about it the more the idea appealed to him. Sans stood apprehensively at the bank of the rushing water, rooted to the stop. He'd overheard Red telling Papyrus about his universe. The waterfall there was a frightening place, where dangerous monsters lurked in the darkness. Only fools with a death wish ventured there, monsters who would remove their shoes and fill their pockets with stones before plunging into the frothing currents.
One step, his boot would slip and he'd tumble into the water, his sins washed away. Would he drown, magic suffocated in the dark depths of frigid water? It was a real possibility, and Sans was surprised to find that the thought of his impending death did little to deter him. What kept his feet firmly on the shore was the knowledge that Papyrus would be left to wonder why his brother had thrown himself under the water, leaving little behind but a heartbroken, enigmatic recording.
No, the solution was not so easy. Suicide was the ultimate selfish action, one that would jeopardize Papyrus' newfound happiness. Even if Sans couldn't be the one to make his brother smile that gorgeous smile, he could certainly take it away with an act as stupid as killing himself.
He sat cross legged, thinking hard. Time passed slowly, and Sans became aware of predatory eyes on him. The skeleton waited for the other to reveal himself and finally tossed a glance behind him, calling out.
"Come sit with me, Fell."
The tall monster frowned, but moved wordlessly to comply. He silently stared at the foaming water, listening to the echo flowers.
"What are you sorry for?" The question lacked his usual malice, and blue eyes met scarlet.
Sans reclined on his elbows, looking out into space. His childish demeanor disappeared under a serious expression, voice doleful.
"I'm sorry that I love him."
Fell didn't inquire further. He, too, had been in conflict with the development between their brothers. "Fell?"
The guardsman grunted. "You love your brother to, don't you."
Sans stared at him, noticing for the first time how handsome he was. A scar ran across his left eye socket and his angular face was set into a scowl. Fell's head bobbed slightly in an affirmative nod.
"I did, once."
Sans didn't push him and simply laid a gloved hand over Fell's.
"They're happy, that's what's important."
Fell found himself agreeing, the act of putting his brothers well being over his own foreign.
"You may be right."
Sans laughed bitterly, his tears spilling down his cheeks. Fingers clenched at the grass and his shoulders shook, laughter dissolving into sobs.
"I-It's so unfair, isn't it? What, what was wrong with us?"
A long arm draped over Sans' trembling shoulders and drew him closer, Fell holding the other to his side.
"There is nothing wrong with you, Berry." Fell stared straight ahead, voice even. "You're sweet and kind and your brother is a fool to not return your affections."
A powder blue blush spread onto Sans' cheeks and he wrapped an arm around Fell, resting his head against his shoulder. He chuckled weakly.
"You're pretty awesome, too... Papyrus."
They sat silently, neither pulling away.
"You know... before you two showed up, I hadn't thought that way about Papy for years." Sans sniffed, eyes still watery. "It's like they've known each other forever."
Fell shifted, allowing Sans to lean in closer.
"In a way, they have."
Sans hummed, tentatively threading his fingers with Fell's.
"Have we been missing something that was never ours?
Fell smirked, "We've been missing what we never wanted."
Sans' head tilted, brow furrowed questioningly. Fell hesitated a fraction of a second before swooping down to claim Sans' mouth in a chaste kiss. The adorable skeleton tensed, the stars in his eye lights blurry when Fell withdrew. He blinked, suddenly finding himself pinned under the larger skeleton's torso.
Red eyes pierced his soul, gravely voice low in his ear.
"I'm Papyrus, too, Sans."
The blue version of his brother shivered, panting as an unfamiliar feeling swirled in his soul.
"Papy?"
Fell groaned against Sans' shoulder and pulled back to press their foreheads together. The innocent skeleton stirred something within him, the desire to take him into his arms and claim him almost irresistible.
But in a drunken haze he'd forced his misguided affections on his own brother and destroyed any chance for a meaningful relationship, and he would not repeat the same mistake. He waited for a reaction, be it consent or rejection.
Moments trickled by, a tender hand reaching to trace the sharp curve of his cheek. The tiny hand grasped the back of Fell's neck and pulled him down, sweet kisses pushing the shock from his face. Growling, Fell hungrily kissed his willing captive.
Red and blue souls shared the same beat, harmonizing as they found their rightful companion.
"I'm an idiot," Sans muttered between kisses. "You were right in front of me."
A grin curved Fell's mouth.
"I have a soft spot for idiots like you."