When I was pregnant, everyone was always "warning" me about what was coming next. I walked around much of those nine absolutely terrified. The warnings flew at me from every single angle — in the checkout line at the bookstore, on the street, and at the guild. Warnings, warnings everywhere about what was to come — from the excruciating, mind-numbing pain of childbirth, to the shell of my former self I was about to become once I had my child. There were times I felt like a prisoner on death row, trying to force myself to enjoy some tiny luxury despite my size and discomfort, because if you asked around, apparently my petty joys would be ending pretty soon.
"Enjoy your husband now — you'll be so consumed by the baby you won't spend any time alone together when she's here!" "Invest in a cute one-piece for next summer — you will never be able to wear a bikini again." But the worst was from Bisca, when I expressed concern about staying sexy for my pyromaniac husband she told me, "You'll lose the weight this time, but with the second one forget it. You'll be so exhausted by then, you won't care," as she tiredly cuddles her third child, barely a month old, to her chest.
Happy's personal favorite, "Sleep now while you still can!" (And its sister statements, "Enjoy the quiet now!"), became his new catchphrase.
"Get your nails done — you won't be doing that again any time soon," and the good old, "You'll never have time to shower," were some of the guilds favorites. But with all these scary warnings that made me feel like the end of the world was coming, they forgot to warn me about what was really ahead.
They should've warned me that after all those hours of labor, the first time I saw my daughter's face my heart would burst out of my chest and shatter onto the floor. They should've warned me that crying because you're happy is actually a thing, and it's a thing you can't control when you're a mommy and you behold the beauty in your arms.
They should've warned me that I would love my husband so much more once he was the father of my child that I wouldn't remember what the old love had felt like. That we'd have challenges, and arguments, sure — but that we would also create goofy ways to spend time together like wondering around the city with her snoozing in the stroller. That we'd come up with ridiculous nicknames for her and laugh our asses off. That he'd finally learn to make sure there was wine scented candles in the house at all times for me and that it would be the most romantic thing ever.
That I'd overhear him while he changed her diaper saying, "I'm Dada. Da-da. You'll say Dada first." And that my heart would melt right out of my chest and all over the floor again.
They should've warned me that despite the exhaustion, waking up to tenderly care for her needs would be the most rewarding thing I've ever done. That when it was just the two of us awake at 4 in the morning I would cherish the soft quietness of the whole world. They should've warned me that with my husband, and his exceed, sound asleep in bed and our baby nursing in my lap, I'd cry because these days are so fleeting. They should've warned me that watching her start to grow out of her newborn clothes would break my heart. That some days I would just stare at her for hours and not care about the deadlines for my book I was missing. That her little cries and screams wouldn't piss me off but would make me rise to action, that when I calmed and soothed her I would feel like a rockstar.
That I would sleep. Maybe not every night and maybe not many hours in a row. But they should've warned me that my biggest upset about sleep would be that every time she napped on my chest I would worry that it would be the last time. That savoring her newbornness would become a full-time job and the best one I'd ever had.
They should've warned me that becoming a mommy would absolutely change every single thing, but that I would never want to go back and visit the "old" me, not even for a second. They should've warned me that my life was about to become so rich and beautiful and fulfilling, that I'd look back on what it was before and think, "Poor me. I didn't know her yet."
They should've warned me that a baby's called a "bundle of joy" for a reason.
"Hey Luce, stop writing! It's time to take Nashi to the park for her playdate with ice-princess's brat!" Natsu called out from the door way.
"Hai, Hai! I'll be there in a second!" The blonde woman replied with a happy sigh and a satisfied smile on her face.
They should've warned me that my Nashi would become my entire world, a whole new adventure that I'd never expect or regret.
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