Even after a couple years had gone by, Remus still couldn't believe it. He didn't want to accept that Sirius was gone. He could still smell the wet dog smell that would accompany Sirius after a frolic outside in the warm spring drizzle. He could still feel his presence near him constantly when he was alone at night, hoping, wishing, praying that he would turn over and his lover would be there, holding him tightly. He could still taste him on his lips, remembering all the times they had to keep themselves a secret from their friends, secret meetings in bathrooms so they wouldn't be seen. He missed having him near, hearing his laughter whenever he would say something far too intelligent for the company they were in. These days he could hardly stand it, he was getting older, and with age, come more loneliness. He had to keep telling himself that it wasn't over, at least not yet. He knew he would be with Sirius again, another time, and in another place.