Part forty-one of my RWBY series "Pollination: The Bumblebee and White Rose"
A/N: This is my second favorite fic, first still being "Dare to Dream". I absolutely love this little parody!
I've had some bad days. I mean some REALLY bad days. There was that day I had to babysit the dog that wouldn't stop barking at me. There was the day I ran out of Blue cow. There was the day I forgot Weiss's birthday. There was the day I got all of Beacon demolished by a giant sea monster. There was the night Blake threw me out of our dorm on alleged accounts of attempted murder in her sleep. There was the day I had to wear heels. There was even the day I got my hair cut. But THIS is the worst day I've ever had.
Like, the day Constantinople fell to the Islamic Turks is a glass of spilled milk in comparison to my really, really, REALLY bad day.
"Hey, Yang." I hear Velvet Scarlatina quietly say.
Slowly, I lift my head up out of my arms. Huh. Someone stole my food tray. Figures, they'll steal it on Banana Pudding day, but they can't be bothered on Missing Student Mystery Meat day. Ugh. "Hey, Vee." I murmur.
She finally enters my field of view and sits down across from me at the cafeteria table. She's got a big bowl of ground beef and the banana pudding bowl. "Finish your pudding already?" She asks as she unfolds a napkin and places it in her lap.
"Nope." I sigh, resting my chin on my arms. If I keep hunching over these tables, I'll probably get back problems. "Just been too frustrated to eat. Some bloke must've stolen it." I oh so cleverly deduce.
She smirks. Raising an eyebrow and twisting her faunus ears, she inquires, "What happened?"
"Oh, I imagine some bloke just passed by me and picked up my tray." I explain. "To be fair, I didn't really bother defending it."
She laughs. Shaking her head, she corrects me. "I was referring to the source of your frustration."
Rolling my eyes, I groan. "It's about Blake."
Smiling ever so sweetly, she clarifies, "Trouble in paradise?"
"Not just a pair of dice." I declare, "All my dice are in trouble." I love my brain. I really do.
She frowns at my word play. They always do. Why me, world? Why gift me with such whits if they're wasted on those who cannot appreciate even the simplest of puns?
"Not that I'm unappreciative of the quality time I get to spend with you," she begins. "But why aren't you talking about it with Blake?"
I scoff. "Okay, get this: For the past seven days, I've been completely starved out. Like, totally Fabian Tactics." The look on her face tells me she doesn't get it.
"I don't get it." She deadpans.
Propping myself up on my elbows, I slowly move my hands around, trying to explain it to her. "The rabbit hole's been dry. The piano hasn't been played. The bag hasn't seen the cat."
She scrunches up her face. "I have no idea what you're talking ab-"
"Sex!" I clarify. Maybe just a bit too loudly. "I haven't had sex with my sexy faunus girlfriend in SEVEN DAYS! I've been COMPLETELY starved out! My loins haven't had ANY lovin' in the past sixteen-hundred and eight hours!"
Wow, the cafeteria got quiet fast.
Velvet's ears bend, and her face goes just a bit red. Just a bit. "Good to know." She murmurs.
"No! It's not good!" I slam my hands down and exclaim, "It's BAD! Really, REALLY bad!"
"Okay! Okay!" She holds her hands up in surrender. "Sheesh! I had my suspicions when I couldn't smell Blake's scent on you, but I had no idea it was that bad." She groans.
I pause.
"What?" She asks.
"So, all faunus have super smelling?" I clarify.
"Relative to the human's ability to smell, yes?" She slowly nods her head, still eyeing me with suspicion.
Oh. "So, if a human and a faunus went at it one night, overslept, didn't have time to take a shower, and went straight to a Beacon sized classroom, could other faunus smell the human?" There are so many wonderful languages where "No" means "No," and all of them would sound just absolutely fantastic right now.
She's trying to suppress a grin. Oh boy. "From a mile away." She answers, covering her mouth with her hand.
My head collapses against the table. "UUUGH." I'm not ashamed of my sex life, but I don't exactly want to broadcast it to the world either.
"Some creatures like to mark their territory." Velvet explains to me, patting my shoulder. Looking up, I see that she's resumed a sweet smile. "Blake's probably just making sure others don't try to encroach on what's hers."
That would explain why no other faunus have hit on me after Blake and I got involved. And here I was thinking I'd lost my sexy edge. "Good to know." I nod in approval. She uses scents to tell her kind she's banging a hot girl; I use Basebook to tell my kind that I'm banging a hot girl. It's all the same, I suppose.
"So, you haven't had the time to..." Oh, wow. She's actually blushing at the word. "Y'know."
I grin. "To grind gears? Curl toes? Rock boats?"
Lowering her head, she groans, "Whatever terminology suits your perverse lifestyle, yes."
I laugh. "Yeah." I admit with reluctance, "We've both been busy with work, y'know? Stuff keeps getting assigned, and by the end of the day, she's too tired to do anything besides cuddle."
Velvet nods. "I'm sure things will work out." She looks around. "Where IS Blake anyway? And what about Ruby and Weiss?"
Again, I have to laugh. "That's the un popped cherry on top." Sighing, I reveal, "Ruby and Weiss have been gone this whole week. Some business matters are being attended to at the Schnee Estate, and Weiss decided to take Ruby with her. Y'know, show her the ropes."
Her eyes widen. "It's getting that serious?"
"Hah!" I sit up straight and look her right in the eye. "You just NOW figured that out?"
She frowns. "Excuse me for not wanting to stalk you and your friends' personal lives."
I jiggle my boobs. "Not even for these girls?"
"Don't make me pour this on you." She points down at her untouched bowl of beef.
"Why haven't you eaten it?" I ask. "Don't like beef?"
"About that. See, it's not beef." She reveals, dipping her spoon in and holding it up for closer inspection. Wrinkling her nose, she states, "They're bacon bits."
"Oh, gross!" I stick my tongue out to emphasize my point. "Why'd you get a huge bowl of bacon bits?"
She scoffs. "I thought it was beef! But when I saw that OTHERS saw me, I had to make a decision!"
"You wouldn't-"
"I'm going to eat these blasted bacon bits." She deadpans, sticking the spoon in her mouth and immediately grimacing. Swallowing the first bite, she hangs her tongue out. "They're not even made from real bacon."
"Yaaang!" I hear my beloved's voice calling out.
Reeling my head around, I see Blake trudging towards me, book bag dragging on the floor. "Coming, love!" I shout and look back to Velvet. "Gotta run! She's out early!"
Her eyes widen. "So you get- y'know?" Ugh, such useless embarrassment.
I eagerly nod. "Yes, I FINALLY get sexy time!" I answer and leap over the accursed distance between myself and my lover. "Darling, love, Roman, country woman!" I cheer as I envelop her in a hug. "Lend me your ear!" I laugh.
She loosely returns my hug. "I'll lend you all four if you can get me home." She murmurs.
"Sure thing!" I immediately comply and swoop my darling up in my arms. She feebly holds her book bag in her hands and yawns, showcasing her sharper-than-human teeth. Whelp, might as well start running at full speed. The sooner we get back to our empty dorm, the sooner we can FINALLY lose the clothing! Oooh, if I'm lucky, she'll give me some wicked sex scars! The ones from last time faded on the second day. I didn't even use my aura to heal them. Not fair, man. Not fair.
Hello, outside world! I'd stop and smell the roses, but I've got juicy juice to smell instead. The sun's about to set, so I have little time to spare.
"Thank you." She yawns again but pecks me on the chin.
"No problem, kitty cat." I eagerly reply as I rush past the other students.
"You could slow down." She murmurs as I bolt through the front door of the dormitory and race up the spiraling staircase.
"Don't you worry about a thing, kitty cat." I grin as I arrive at our door and masterfully kick it down. No time to fish out a key card! Sexy time! Sexy time!
"Yang, what are you doing?" Blake groans as I gently place her down on our bed.
I race over to the door and slam the door shut. Applying a little heat to the frame, I weld it against the wall. There! "Now, nobody can disturb us!" I explain as I rush back, frantically undoing my clothing.
Thank the Allspark I don't wear buttoned shirts.
I'm down to my birthday suit in less than a minute, and it only takes me twenty seconds to completely strip Blake. "Tonight is special, Blake." I murmur, using my super sexy bedroom voice. "Tonight, it comes down to the triarii." I explain as I throw the last of Blake's clothing off to the floor.
"Mmh, I agree." She yawns and sprawls out on the bed. She's ready to receive me! Finally! After seven days of drought, we can FINALLY get at it!
"You know it!" I giggle as I pull out the massive box that we keep under our bed. "Tonight, we use EVERYTHING!" I exclaim with joy as I throw off the lid! Hello, my beautiful toys! You'll finally get some use! First, the vibrator. Very important. I'll use that to get her in the mood.
Rummaging through the contents, I pull out the bright pink device and set it on our night stand. Next, the whip. Very important. I'll use this to stimulate her and make her BEG for the finish!
I'll just put that next to the vibrator. There we go.
Hmm, the fuzzy handcuffs are a must. They're the yin to the yang of the whip. No time for obvious jokes!
"We finally have time, Blake." I giggle as I rummage through the box. We never really use the strapons, but I did say we'd use everything tonight. "We finally have all the time in the night." I dump out the contents of the box onto Ruby and Weiss's bed. They won't be back 'til morning, so they won't mind! Well, they won't KNOW; so, they won't mind.
"We finally have all the time in the world, my love." I sigh with satisfaction as I gloss over the toys. "Yes, all the time we need. All the time we could ever want!"
Oh, I forgot we had a mouth gag. Ah, right. We stopped using it when we found out the hard way I couldn't say the safe word. Mmh, good times.
Alright, just slip into the strapon harness, do the buckles, and there we go! Ready to show Blake what horny euphoria is! "There's time enough at last!" I announce and turn around to strike a sexy pose. "Ready, Blake?"
No.
Nooo.
What cruelty is this?
"That's not fair."
My legs give out, and I sit down on Team White Rose's bed, pushing some of the toys aside.
Stark naked, and she's fallen asleep.
She's FALLEN ASLEEP!
"That's not fair at all."
I can't believe it. We go seven days without sexy time, and when opportunity knocks, she locks the door.
"There was time now." I murmur as I somehow find the strength to get up from the bed. "There was all the time we needed." I tell the sleeping beauty as I fumble with the strapon harness. As I reach my side of the bed, it comes off, and I let it fall to the floor. "That's not fair." I murmur, sliding in next to Blake. "That's not fair." I repeat.
Confound it, Blake.
ESSENTIAL A/N:
This was as perfect as I imagined it to be. I personally deem this to be my second favorite! "Dare to Dream" is still top dog, to me.
Also, in case some of you didn't get to watch the Twilight Zone growing up, watch this; it will explain the ending.
watch?v=UAxARJyaTEA
But, if you have 25 minutes to spare, I beg of you to watch the whole episode. It's a beautiful feat to achieve, making the audience genuinely feel for a character who only gets 25 minutes of screen time.
watch?v=XIDC-npDDOo